But what if i just want to drown in my despair. You can't you have 4 deadlines coming up tomorrow. But i don't want deadlines i want to weep under my blanket and never get up i want to grieve i want to cry i want to bang my head against the wall and split my heart open and let the blood splatter i don't want to think about bills i can't think about bills or deadlines or revisions i want rage i want revenge i want to scream i want my mother back i want to join her
six feet under.
— in which my therapist praise me for being resilient