Warning: This chapter is Rated SPG. The longest chapter, pero PROMISE, worth it.
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Regina woke up with a train-wreck of a headache and a queasy stomach.
Fuck that traidor na Weng Weng.
It dawned on her that Narda was still there, sound asleep, with that peaceful look on her face.
And somehow that made it better.
The wavy haired woman realized she had a stiff neck, this is what she gets for leaning on Narda the entire time on that couch.
They were still sprawled on that tufted sofa, half sitting down and partly enveloped around each other. She was much taller than Narda , so she ended up curled up and bent in just to be cocooned in the petite woman's arms.
"Ow, fuck," Regina exclaimed, stretching out of Narda's grasp.
"Kamahalan, aga-aga--- nagmumura..."
Regina looked at the woman next to her, still half-asleep. Narda's was heavy-eyed and reddened by the liquor from the night before, and yet she still wore that annoying but irresistible smirk.
They both could not help but shyly smile around each other. There was an air of bashfulness and youthful awkwardness.
Narda still positioned her arm behind Regina, even though she felt the pins and needles on her bicep. The hours of being in that sleeping position had her shoulders all numbed out.
"Aray," Narda finally said, her features twisted as she shook her arm.
"Oh my God, I am so sorry, Narda!"
There was slight laughter until they both went quiet again.
There was the air of heavy silence in Regina's bedroom. The reality was settling in for both of them; they have crossed a different threshold the night before.
There was no turning back this time.
This was not a party dare. This was not one of their constant debates. This was new for them.
They were now seeing each other as a different Narda and Regina. A different type of Smugface and Kamahalan.
They did not just share their first genuine kiss but they also shared parts of each other they have never shared to anyone else.
That was heartfelt but also terrifying.
There was still uneasiness between Narda and Regina, a sense that they're both having to try not to be self-conscious, but Regina was willing to accept this as the side effect of the turbulent relationship they have had for a few weeks now.
It was like whiplash from pure hate to finally accepting that Narda meant the world to her.
"UGH! SHIT!"
A loud groan forced its way out of Regina's throat, and she clenched her eyes shut against the rays of the sun. She kept cussing underneath her breath and she whined loudly, complaining that her bones felt like jelly-ace.
She could feel Narda's teasing chuckle, while the petite woman stared at her.
"Ang big baby mo talaga. Kamahalan,weng weng lang yun. Akala mo galing torture chamber? Akala ko ba malakas ka?"
"So annoying. One, I do not know what was in that drink, lasang Tang na matamis pero effect is like, I drank a gallon of lambanog. Two--- you act like I never took care of you when you were drunk--- ang ungrateful mo, ah," Regina moaned weakly, snapping at Narda.
"Oo nga pala. Inalagaan mo ako. Doon ka nga nadevelop saakin,e. Nadala ka sa katawan ko... yung pinabra mo ako dito," Narda playfully covered her chest with her arms, feigning modesty like she was a shocked Maria Clara.
"Ew. Ang kapal!"
"Yii. Kapal kapal daw pero gusto ako kaholding hands kahit pasmado raw ako," Narda yelled, laughing in her shrill way again.
"God. So loud! Are you one of those people? Yung maingay sa umaga? Since nandito na tayo, rules ko dapat quiet pag mornings. Be an adult. Can we normalize silence in the morning? Kailangan ka ba lagi may kausap sa umaga? I hate those types!"
Regina rolled her eyes but she bit her lip, stifling a chuckle. In response, Narda playfully threw a pillow on Regina's face.
"Malakas, ah!"
"Sorry, sorry, Regina..."
Regina then got her revenge by smacking Narda roughly on her nose with the pillow.
In their usual sense of chaos, the two started wrestling with their arms and hands as they tried to grapple over the throw-pillow. Before they knew it--- hands were over mouths, knees bumped, legs tangled, and boisterous laughter echoed in that silent room.
They crashed on to the carpeted floor with Narda landing on the exhilarated Regina.
In the middle of their tussle, there was that sudden hum and warmth that always surrounded them. Before last night, they usually ignored this.
Before last night, they had to brush it off with insults or moments of jokes.
But this time? It was grueling to ignore that tension that always surrounded them.
And in an instant, light brown eyes met with dark, doe-like eyes. Their smiles felt warm as they felt their usual tension gush in.
Narda's fingers slowly combed the strands of Regina's blonde streaks. Her eyes studying the mesmerizing woman beneath her. Regina was still in the middle of her giggle-fit, until her smile faded at the sight of Narda's intense stare.
The dark haired girl's eyes bore into her, she had to inhale sharply as if bracing herself.
Slowly, Narda inched in, lowering herself hoping to kiss Regina passionately again like they did the night before.
But as their skin touched briskly, there was a sudden sound of a raging rumble.
"Narinig mo yun?" Narda asked.
There was the sound again.
Narda smiled widely and she had sputtered into a resounding crow-like laugh. She could not breathe. The piercing tone was coming out of her mouth.
"Tawang tawa?!" Regina blurted out.
Regina was extremely hungry and her hollow stomach made it known.
"Tangina, parang may acoustics tiyan mo--- re-re-remix," Narda chuckled.
"Anobaaaa! Super panira ka ng moment," Regina playfully pulled Narda's bangs in feigned annoyance.
"Tara, ready lang tayo saglit. Toothbrush ka lang diyan. Hilamos ka lang. Wisik wisik. Kain tayo, Kamahalan? Breakfast tayo? Ano gusto mo?"
"Tamad ako magdrive," Regina whined.
"Oh eh 'di... new experience... tricycle tayo. Lagi kang may new experience saakin. Service deluxe ka pa. Tara. Kain tayo. Patagalin pa natin oras natin together?"
"Katamad magcommute!"
"Ay sige, Kamahalan, uwi nalang ako," Narda shrugged, about to stand up.
"No! That is not what I meant," Regina exclaimed, dragging Narda closer to her.
"Donya Vanguardia. Eh hindi ka pwede magdrive. Wala akong kotse. Malalaman naman ng Daddy mo kung si Kuya Ali nagdrive saatin. Regina, dapat matuto ka nga macommute. Survival skills yan. Hindi yung parang bata na 'di pa rin marunong magbigay ng barya sa jeep. Bilis na! Mag-sex pa tayo!"
"Gross!" Regina was startled at the suggestion, sudden seriousness crawling on her offended expression.
"Malisyosa! Pwede 'wag ka muna judgmental, Kamahalan? Papakita ko muna sa'yo ano meaning ng Sex?"
Narda then stood up and in her petite figure, bent down, asking Regina to ride on her back.
"This is so incredibly dangerous! You are like 10 year old height, malaglag mo ako!"
"Grabe ito, maka ten years old? Strong 'to ano? Kakaposo yan sa Nueva Esperanza. Workout. Bilis. Piggy-back ride. Get on, Kamahalan. Magready na tayo," Narda said confidently, wiggling her hips to get Regina ready.
Regina sluggishly positioned herself on Narda's back and in one swift movement, Narda lifted the taller woman effortlessly.
"Ano? Ready ka na? Do you trust me?" Narda asked, tilting her head while she raised her eyebrows at Regina.
Regina enclosed her arms around Narda's neck, and she smiled widely, the same gummy one that Narda loved.
"Shit. Call me crazy but I do... I do trust you..."
"Ready ka na, Kamahalan? Mag-Darna na ako! Darna!"
Narda spun around while carrying Regina, the taller woman kept cussing throughout.
"Narda! Pag ako nasuka! You are going to drop me," Regina shrieked and giggled at the same time.
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The noise was extremely loud from Regina's room. Luna wondered where the commotion was coming from. She was still in her pajamas, and fuzzy slippers. She walked on the wooden floors, looking puzzled. She headed to her Ate's room, preparing to yell at Regina. She gently opened the white panel door, leaving it ajar.
There she saw her shrewish Ate Regina being carried by the Padua U outcast, Narda Custodio. The words of Carson echoed in her head:
Luna, tao ko yan si Custodio.
She remembered the times when Carson and Narda talked. She remembered how Carson talked about how he had a plan for her Ate.
She remembered how conveniently Narda suddenly fell in love with her sister.
Luna should feel worried. She should feel irate too-- because her sister was such a hypocrite.
She was not allowed to have suitors but here she was having Narda for a sleepover.
But Luna's usual streak of anger over her sister slowly faded, a small smile formed on her lips. She watched her sister laughing again. And it was not her usual laughter filled with sarcasm.
This was the same laughter she remembered when her Ate held her hand when they were kids.
Luna felt a stirring in her chest. She realized she missed how her sister was before.
Sana sincere si Narda. What have I done?
She looked at the two women with a faint smile, her eyes filled with sudden tenderness.
She felt such softness for her sister and she suddenly felt panic--- because this was her creation.
Luna slowly closed the door. Praying that she had not messed it up for her sister.
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Now it was Narda who constantly listened to the same song.
"Bangin" by Paul Pablo was on repeat, a playful smirk was always plastered on her face.
Hindi pa sanay
Matagal na ring hindi napangiti
Iniiwasan pa
Mga bagay na 'di pa maamin
She was huddled underneath the throw blanket that Regina gave her. She had to scream into a pillow not out of frustration ---but out of kilig.
She could not sleep but it was not because of exhaustion but a sudden surge of addicting affection.
She was lost in the hours of video calls, when they still constantly debated. The nonstop messages of never-ending and hilarious jabs at each other. The discussions as if a new discovery each time. The food trips full of boisterous laughter.
The brief glances in the hallways of Padua University. The sudden rush when they could sneak holding hands in class.
The built Spotify playlists for each other as songs kept being added as the days go by.
She realized this was the best part. When the mesmerizing Regina was all to herself. When the relationship was young and new. The world was just for the two of you.
They had not told anyone, they had not explained to anyone.
Regina once said, "The best part of us is it just us."
And for Narda, for the first time in her life, she was selfish. She knew it was wrong. She was not an evil person, she thought.
She knew she had responsibilities and consequences. But for the first time, she did not want to think so much. She did not want to solve every problem in front of her. She just wanted to be in the moment.
She did not think. Was she allowed to feel?
Was she allowed to disregard consequences?
She had no explanations this time, she dove in.
All in.
The moments replayed in her memories as a smile formed on her pink lips before she finally slept.
The moments kept playing like a vivid movie in her mind.
It brought her such comfort.
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That one hungover day after their first real kiss, she finally explained what "magsex" was. They were both exhausted from the hot commute and the smog surrounding them. But then their chuckles were resounding everywhere once they figured what this was all about.
SINANGAG EXPRESS was in bold letters in front of them. Regina crossed her arms and tried suppressing her laughter, realizing what it all meant.
"The best Tapsilog ito sa South. Wag ka na malisyosa," Narda said holding Regina's hand.
The taller woman kept shaking her head in embarrassed laughter, her fingers intertwining with Narda's. Her hands already so used to the other woman.
"So ready ka na magsex?" Regina winked.
When they sat down outside the restaurant to eat their bangsilog and tapsilog, Narda kept arranging her plate like a formula she had to piece together. She knew what mixture was the best for her tapsilog. The right amount of spicy vinegar, atsra, the biggest part of the sweetened beef, the runny egg yolk, the hint of pepper, and the fried garlic rice with the right burnt bits.
Narda was focusing, while she gathered all the morsels in a spoon. She then offered the huge spoonful to Regina.
"Bakit mo saakin binibigay yan? I am not a child --- hindi mo ako dapat subuan. And that is yours. Not mine," Regina was baffled, wrinkling her nose.
"Regina. Ginagawa ko rin ito kay Nanay. Sa mga kapatid ko. Pag importante saakin ang tao. You get the best bite out of my meal. Sige na," Narda murmured, looking wide-eyed as she balanced the spoon on her hand.
Regina demurely leaned in, holding on to her hair, and finally taking a timid bite.
"Ang hinhin ng kagat. Kagat pa!" Narda laughed.
Regina started to get the whole spoonful, then her eyes lit up with so much innocence. The mixture of flavors resting on her tongue like an explosion to her senses.
She felt her emotions swell, why was Narda like this?
She had never met anyone who gave so much even when she had so little.
She titled her head and just wondered how could she deserve a Narda Custodio?
"The best bite," Regina giggled.
Narda reached in with her hand and her thumb wiped off the slight yellow on Regina's lip, the remnants of the egg landing on her skin.
There was that moment of warmth again and it was so overwhelming, Regina had to exhale sharply.
She felt a bit dizzy.
But it was the good kind, like when you first got that first buzz from a very potent wine.
Her world continued to spin and stop at the same time.
Ako'y nahuhulog na
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Narda learned that though Regina had a horrendous temper, she was a softie around her. She was a paricularly patient driving instructor. There was one Tuesday that they got out of class early. Regina insisted that Narda should learn how to drive.
She took Narda by the creek, off the city.
It was not such a good idea.
Narda would always fall into a ditch with Regina's old Dodge car. The two of them had deafening screams every time Narda would go into a relentless stop and go with the vehicle.
They almost ran through a street post as Narda hit the brakes with all her force.
"Bakit tayo tirik nang tirik?!" Narda freaked out.
"NAKITA MO YUN?!" Regina exclaimed.
"Ang alin?"
"Yung white light tinatawag pangalan ko? My life flashed right before my eyes," Regina blurted out, rage coming out of her voice.
"Sorry po?"
"Oh my God! I think I saw the light talaga-- I think I saw Mama Mary na."
Regina was sarcastic but her typical temper was seething through. She clicked her tongue in exasperation.
She was already in her usual lecture mode like a lawyer with a case in court. She had already turned pink around her chest and her eyes kept darting at Narda full of indignation.
"Kamahalan, sorry na po. Nagiging pink ka na naman. Para kang si jiggly puff magalit," Narda pointed out, smiling at how reddened Regina was.
"Ugh! Why are you so unhinged? Why am I dating a bad driver?"
"Nakakadisappoint nga. Hirap pala magdrive?" Narda pouted, her forehead wrinkling, frustrated at herself.
Regina realized Narda was serious. Of course, Nueva Esperanza was always hard on herself, she thought.
The wavy-haired woman chortled, her nose flaring from her suppressed laughter.
"Finally! You are not good at something... Girl Genius!"
"Sobra ito! Kaya ko ito," Narda was extremely defensive, sullen while she held tightly on the steering wheel.
She had halted the car effectively, they were parked by the creek. The rain rushed into a quick drizzle and the same song had been playing on the radio.
"I HATE underachievers," Regina whispered in her mocking tone.
She then grabbed Narda's face, squishing the petite woman's cheeks.
"I also cannot date people na hindi pasado sa height requirement ng rollercoaster. Bad drivers who cannot drive stick shift. Girls who sound like UWAK when they laugh. Gives me corny nicknames. Tapos --- keeps debating about everything, so annoying. But somehow this one girl. She is still hot? God, my oh my--- my standards... what happened..."
Regina caught Narda's dark and curious eyes. Soon there was a sudden glint in the eyes of Regina. She then smiled widely, it was full of affection.
Her caramel-like eyes disappeared and her mouth in full display. Regina leaned in and cupped Narda's little face, kissing her lovingly. Like light feather touches on Narda's soft lips.
"Unfortunately? You break all my rules, Smugface," she giggled in between kisses.
Narda took off her seatbelt and she stared at Regina with a certain gravity. With her fingers, she twirled on Regina's blonde streaks and she pushed Regina's head gently, capturing her into a deeper kiss. It was longer this time, just like a few nights before.
They both had to gasp for air after the kiss.
"You break all my rules too..."
The heavy rain pelted on the windshield and it beads of water covered the glass pane, and like the rush of the roaring monsoon, they soon got lost into their kisses.
Kita sa 'yong mata
Pangungulila sa init ng pag-ibig
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"Kamahalan, ayaw na ayaw ko talaga Carbonara! As in masakit sa ulo sa pagkacreamy!" Narda protested, crossing her arms in her dorm room, still in her pambahay clothes.
Food was a huge part of their relationship. It was a way to partake their experiences with each other. It was not all about sinangag and street food. There were times Regina had to teach Narda what real Carbonara pasta was.
In her heels and Emerald pantsuit, Regina cooked for Narda because she wanted to see her world, too. The right type of eggs, the mixture of Pecorino Romano cheese, the grinded black pepper, and the salted guanciale. She was so patient when she tried cooking in Narda's old induction burner, trying to juggle all the ingredients.
When it was time for Narda to taste it, the creaminess was now scrumptious. The saltiness just right. Her stomach felt warm.
This was dangerous, she had fallen in love with one of her most hated pastas ever.
Mahuhulog na nang tuluyan
Sasaluhin mo ba?
Hindi ko na kasi mapigilan
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Most of their time was spent cramming.
Index cards were all over Narda's dorm room, papers were all over her bed, and Regina was always there in her decrepit dorm. Studying and eating.
"Nakakahiya yung dorm na ito talaga," Narda would reason, she had her walis, trying to clean up each time Regina was there. As if so ashamed of her life.
Regina would shrug and climb up to where Narda would sleep. She would plop on the measly bed like it was a luxurious King Bed. She would laugh each time.
Narda felt her heart move each time.
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Sometimes in Narda's dorm, they would have failed attempts of video mukbangs.
Even though, sometimes, Regina had such a spoiled brat and expensive taste. One time they had gone to Narda's dorm with boxes of Regina's favorite Cajun lobster.
Narda being the valiant woman that she was had to crack open the shrimps and lobsters for Regina, even if she had to use the dorm room walls and her plastic spoon.
They would always end up in chaos together.
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They both loved documenting every moment together. Narda had her reasons. It was as if these memories were like sand that could fall on her clutching hands.
She just knew she had to document it, she could never forget this.
Ako'y nahuhulog na, hindi ko na kasi mapigilan
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Ako'y nahuhulog sa bangin ng pag-ibig
After all her interactions wooing the shrew, Narda thought she had nothing new to learn about the enigma of Regina Vanguardia.
But in their short time together, she would always learn new discoveries about her.
She learned that Regina giggled into kisses. She would blush in both moments of affection and anger.
She loved nuzzling on Narda's neck because she loved the smell of aloe powder on her.
Regina's kisses were soft, balmy, and addictive.
Narda had memorized the taste of their intense kisses. Regina tasted of lipstick, tangy cherry, red wine, and spearmint.
She learned that Regina loved it when Narda's skinny fingers would comb her long, wavy locks. She learned it brought Regina great comfort when their fingers intertwined.
She learned that Regina had random tattoos on her skin, perfectly hidden from her father. She sometimes would see it when Regina would change into pajamas in front of her. Etched on her skin was a bass guitar on her hip, a snake on her left rib, and a rainbow on her ear.
Regina loved singing, she would sing in random moments even when she would berate at Narda.
She sang with all her emotion and would get lost into old classics.
She loved Etta James and Kitchie Nadal.
She played the bass as if it was an extension of her heart and she only performed for Narda.
She loved doing mundane things. Especially with Narda. May it just be reading next to her in the library or eating kwek-kwek by Mang Zaldy's or painting her room.
There was that one Friday after school, when Narda helped Regina in painting her bedroom. She added streaks of green to that dark room.
There were times Regina would be playful and dab paint on Narda's neck.
There were times when they would chase each other.
But it always ended the same way when she had interactions with the shrew. Regina would always embrace her from the back, her chin leaning on Narda's strong shoulder, enjoying the comfortable silence.
Narda learned Regina learned easily.
After their painting session, the beautiful brat made kimchi and spam fried rice from her leftovers. She brought in a huge bowl upstairs and she meticulously spooned morsels of spam and spicy gochujang together. She offered Narda a huge bite from the spoon.
"Ano yan? Susubuan mo ako?" Narda chuckled.
"Kasi Narda. An annoying girl once told me... pag importante ka saakin... you get the best bite out of my meal..."
Narda's pink lips sprawled into her smug smirk.
Everyday felt new when it was Regina Vanguardia.
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Regina often would sneak in with Narda in her mansion just to have her around.
At 11 PM if Rex was asleep. She would always bring Narda up her bedroom. Their cold hands clasped together, Regina would always have Narda on her bed as they both would look at the fairy lights that glowed in Vanguardia heiress' room.
They were both nervous around each other, unable to break the gauntlet and explore beyond kissing.
Narda would often avoid going further. Brushing it off with a joke or pretending to sleep.
Truth was, she felt guilty. There was a dread at the pit of her stomach. When they were in Regina's gray bed lost in their kisses, she felt that thud in her heart.
The dread was spreading through her chest. She would always say she just wanted to wait.
But the truth was she was so dreadfully scared.
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Ako'y nahuhulog na
They both laid on top of the silk sheets of the King Bed. Narda wore one of Regina's oversized band shirts and Regina was in her tank top, still warm from the blasted air-conditioning. They innocently laid next to each other, every time Narda would sneak in.
Usually lost in their own stories.
For Regina, this was her first real relationship. It was not as if she had not been with anyone before. She had actually been with a handful of people.
The notorious Regina Vanguardia. There were reasons why she was so strict with Luna.
She was the poster girl for bad decisions. She was no innocent virgin. She had been with men and women.
She told Narda that. Especially in her younger years, right after her mother left, she confessed.
Narda learned that Regina's relationships with these people were driven by expectations.
Regina somehow valued herself with what she could give in the transaction of a relationship.
She felt she had to go to bed with them because that was what was expected. She felt numb in each of these physical relationships. It all felt like a transaction. As if she had to find ways to feel again.
"Sana hindi ganun feeling mo saakin, Regina."
"Hindi ganun feeling ko sa'yo for some reason, smugface," Regina smiled, her eyes getting drowsy.
Regina held Narda by her waist and brought the smaller woman in closer, nuzzling on her neck as Narda slept on her side.
Her chest was close to Narda's back. Their hearts beating closely to each other as their bodies were cocooned in.
Most of the time, Regina would fall asleep quickly.
While Narda was mostly eaten up by her thoughts, she would drift in and out of sleep.
She always had the same dream, her hands clutching on to sand. Trying to save it from falling out of her palms.
And in this moment, she finally realized it.
She did not know how or when or find much logic to any of this.
But she had fallen helplessly in love with Regina Vanguardia. And each day she fell harder for her.
Her project. Her racket. Her job.
This was as ridiculous as the movies, she knew it.
The more she learned. The more she enjoyed these moments, the more she felt like the sand was spilling out of her clutching hands.
They never said "I love you" to each other even though it was a huge elephant in the room.
Maybe it was better that way, Narda thought.
Ako'y nahuhulog na sa bangin ng pag-ibig.
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The moments kept repeating in Narda's mind. Even their most random messages to each other.
Regina and Narda constantly exchanged recorded messages from their phones.
Usually it was filled with Regina's playful rants.
"Hello Smugface, good morning! Kain tayo iskrambol today, please? Anyway, I told you nga that episode of the GAP was super bad pero bakit ang addicting, ano? I think I kinda miss you."
Narda listened to the message with a sad smile. She started recording her reply on her phone.
And for Narda, she only wished she could tell the truth.
Each time she would start recording...
"Kamahalan, may kailangan ako sabihin sa'yo... malaki ang kasalanan ko... at takot na takot ako."
Narda would always delete it.
She ended up sending a joke recording instead.
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The next night, Ding was eating on the terrace.
It was his secret hideout spot with his best friend. But Narda had been out of it for a while now. As if she had suddenly just disappeared.
He was focused on eating his pancit bihon, suddenly, he heard footsteps echoing behind him.
He knew the dragging of those sneakers.
He did not even bother turning around.
Narda had a plastic bag with her, the noise of the bottles indicated she had Pale Pilsens. Ding predicted she was done with her isolation and escape phase, she had to face her problems.
They did not say a word to each other. Narda opened up the bottle with her keychain.
It was as if they knew each other so much, they just reacted to each other.
"Narda, alam ko magkaibigan tayo --- utol na nga kita, e... pero hindi ko ikukunsinti ang ginagawa mo kay Regina," Ding gulped the beer, his eyes looking blankly at the exclusive village overlooking the terrace.
"Alam ko."
Narda clenched her jaw, her beer was untouched as she sat there in deep thought. The sudden heaviness in her chest overwhelming her.
"Sinabi ko sa'yo diba? I told you so. Iba na pag damdamin ng babae pinaglalaruan mo," Ding exclaimed, there was disappointment in his ragged voice.
"Hindi ko siya pinaglalaruan, Ding."
"Eh ano? Noong una sinasakyan pa kita dito pero iba na? Pumupunta na yung tao sa dorm mo? May nangyari na ba? Ano na yan enemies with benefits? Kumikita ka pa?"
"Hindi ako ganun."
Narda's tone was defensive, she suddenly drank the beer with gusto as if finding courage to speak out.
Ding shook his head in dismay, finishing his beer. He started packing his Tupperware and he was getting ready to leave. As soon as he stood up, Narda had to talk.
"Ding... ano gagawin ko? Oo sa simula akala ko isa lang siya sa mga spoiled brats dito. Akala ko since nawalan ako ng trabaho dahil sa kanya... pwede ko siya pagkakitaan. Gantihan. Pero Ding, siguro sa una laro lang ito... pero totoo lahat ng pinapakita ko. Totoo ang naramramdaman ko. Matagal ng totoo ang mga nararamdaman ko."
Narda's voice faded, she started feeling her tears falling from her eyes. She briskly wiped her cheeks with her wrist as if too ashamed to show that she was vulnerable.
"Narda, totoo rin na binayaran ka. This was a job for you. You know how fucked up that is? She deserves to know the truth," Ding challenged, he lifted her chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes.
"Alam ko mali ako. Alam ko na pwede na mawala ito kapag nalaman niya ang totoo. Ding, what I feel for her is against reason. Buong buhay ko lagi ko nalang kargo lahat. Lagi ko iniisip lahat. Responsibilidad. Problema. Lahat kailangan ng rason. Lahat kailangan ng solusyon..."
"Hindi excuse yun, Narda."
Narda exhaled as she rested her head on her palms. Her voice shook and she was spilling her soul in front of her friend.
Narda was not the type to bare her emotions.
When she had problems, she knew the solutions like all her Math equations.
But Regina Vanguardia was a different story.
She knew the solution and it pained her to solve it.
"Pero kasi sa kanya? Parang I live in this moment. I feel. Ngayon lang ako nakaramdam ng ganito. Kay Sofia noon.... minahal ko kasi akala ko perpekto. Minahal ko dahil nasa pedestal. Pero si Regina? Walang pedestal. She is real. She is raw. Malayo sa perpekto pero gusto ko lagi siya masaya. Gusto ko pumasok sa mundo niya. Gusto ko pumasok din siya sa mundo ko. At hindi ko alam ano gagawin ko sa nararamdaman ko na ito. Alam ko na mali. Alam ko this is all temporary... and I know I will break her heart but God, this will break me too."
Narda punched the table next to her as she went into deep thought. Her knuckles aching as she had to halt herself from too much force. She was going to be a doctor one day, she thought, she could not ruin her hand.
"Mahal mo?" Ding asked, he sat by Narda again, the sadness seeping in his tone.
"What does it matter ... mawawala rin siya saakin," Narda's voice trailed off as she felt a strong force in her chest, a lingering pang. That twinge of sorrow.
"So what are you going to do?"
"Gaga ako, Ding, e. Pero hindi ako masamang tao. S asabihin ko ang lahat. Konting oras pa. Konting lakas lang ng loob. Sasabihin ko rin ang totoo. Mawawala rin siya saakin, alam ko yun. Pero konting oras lang. Kahit konti pa."
Narda fell silent again as she looked at the few visible stars in the Metro Manila night sky. She twisted her lips, controlling herself from breaking down.
Narda never broke down.
She knew that the money that Carson paid her would have the most dire consequence.
Losing Regina Vanguardia.
People often wished on stars.
Narda cursed at it. She cursed that she did not have the luxury to fuck up.
She cursed that her new love had to bear from the one she was paid to hate.
------------------------------
Regina was in her black sleeping gown, sitting by the side of their pool. She dipped her fair toes into the cold water, while she drank her red wine. She had a relaxed smile on her lips, the type that she could not wipe off.
She could not believe it, the whirlwind romance with Narda Custodio had taken over.
She looked at a new photo on her phone. It was of her and Narda, snuggled up in the blanket she gave her. Regina felt flush with a sudden warmth. She was inspired. She was distracted. This was not her. But maybe she should allow herself with just a bit of happiness?
"Lalim ng iniisip natin?" a sweet-toned voice greeted her.
Luna was already in her silk pajamas as she invited herself to sit down next to Regina. She did not think much, she grabbed the wine bottle for herself and shrugged. She drank straight from the Merlot bottle. She clenched her eyes shut, savoring the warmth and bitterness.
"Sorry, I cannot sleep," Luna sighed.
"Good evening to you too," Regina smirked, titling her head at her sister. She mused and exhaled, looking at Luna in bewilderment.
Luna just sat next to Regina in silence, and this felt like peace for her. The truth was part of her had felt guilty and somehow happy for her sister.
The two of them had a complex relationship. Growing up, Luna wanted nothing else but be like her sister. When Regina sang, she sang too. When she took ballet, she asked her mom if she could take the same classes too. When Regina dyed her hair, she wanted the exact same color.
When their mother left, something broke in her sister and she transformed from her best friend to her strict guardian that constantly suffocated her.
There were times she did not recognize her sister. But in the recent month, she saw the speckles of light in her sister's brown eyes. She saw that knowing smile on her lips. She saw her Ate Regina again.
"Does Narda make you happy?" Luna finally asked, she dipped her feet into the shallow waters too. She was absent-minded while she talked, barely giving Regina eye-contact.
"Why? Are you gonna ask if you can finally date that imbecile now kasi may girlfriend ako? Ano? Susumbong mo ako kay Dad?" Regina scoffed, still sipping her wine.
"No. Genuinely, Ate Regina. Does she make you happy? I know she has been sneaking in. Hindi naman ako tanga. The same way na alam ko you play the bass... kahit ayaw ni Daddy. You often see me as this petulant child but I am your sister. And yeah, in a weird way, mahal kita. Kaya gusto ko malaman kung pinapasaya ka ba ni Narda?"
Regina had to stop in her tracks and she looked at her little sister with gravity. Her gaze was warm. One that was filled with so much tenderness and earnestness.
Her hand stroked Luna's brown hair, ruffling the strands as if this was still her ten year old sister she had to take care of. She then sighed at the thoughts running in her head.
"She does. She makes me happy and truthfully, I am so scared. When I open my heart to people,ako ang laging talo but here I am diving head first into this mess----- ni hindi niya alam I will end up in Columbia U. This is a mess," Regina shook her head.
In her frustration, she took the bottle from Luna and started gulping the Merlot effortlessly straight from its source.
The heat of the wine soothing her throat and the alcohol numbing her from her rush of emotions.
"Then, I am glad. I really hope she is worth my sister's happiness," Luna curved her lips into a smile.
"So? What? You have blackmail material? Are you going to ask me if you can sneak in with that asshole? You do not understand why----"
But before Regina could say anything Luna shook her head. She lazily leaned onto her sister's shoulder and sat there in silence.
"Ate, I do not think he is anything like I thought he was... alam mo yun? I thought if I dated, I will have an ounce of teenage normalcy. Pero yung feeling ko parang hindi pa rin ako masaya? Hindi pala ganun kadali. Hindi ko alam ano gusto ko."
Regina gazed at her sister and she felt for her. Her eyes looked at Luna with such softness. She wished she could embrace her sister.
She wished she was a better Ate. She wished she could explain why it had to be that way. She wished she was not such a coward. She wished she could be vulnerable enough to show Luna love.
But she was raised as a transactional Vanguardia. She could not express emotions like that. They were not molded that way. She quickly coughed as if driving her potential tears away. She cleared her throat as she breathed loudly, forcing the sternness in her voice.
"Sa Saturday. You should go out. I saw your improved grades and a deal is a deal. I have been going out with Narda. Tama ka. So you can go out with friends. Group lang. It has to be a group. No solo dates. Curfew is still the same. You have to update me and Dad each time," Regina's tone was filled with nonchalance like she was giving a directive.
"Ate? Are you serious? May sakit ka? Magagalit si Daddy..."
"Ako ang bahala sa kanya, Luna."
Regina was leaving the pool before Luna could fully react. In true Vanguardia fashion, they suppressed their emotions. They were after all, built that way.
-------------------------------
The next day, Narda visited Atty. Sylvia Mariano's non-profit agency. She walked around in her yellow shirt and giant backpack. It was a small office that looked like it was built from the 60s. The ceiling fan blew hot air and it was packed with people even after 5 PM.
Narda watched from afar as Regina talked to the clients.
She was full of confidence, talking to them in her blazer. She strutted like she owned the room, her heels clicking when she went into deep thought.
She knew their cases by heart, she barely looked at enough of their case folders. She looked like she was born to be a lawyer like it was etched in her destiny.
She worked there because Narda knew Regina had passion for it. They were often women who wanted to leave their husbands or their abusive jobs, typically battered wives and laborers. Before Narda judged Regina as someone with no empathy.
She in fact had a lot of it, she just did not know how to fully show it.
Narda curved her lips into a smug smirk, proud of her girlfriend.
"Ikaw ba si Narda?" a beautiful morena woman in a black pantsuit instantly greeted her.
"Yes po?"
"Regina told me all about you. Lagi nalang siya Narda this... Narda likes this... Narda that. Finally, the girl behind Regina's smile..."
Narda had a whirl of emotions brewing in her as she heard those words. She felt her heart soar but there was still that dull thud.
Still being eaten by guilt.
"Ako nga pala si Atty. Sylvia Mariano I run this place," the woman said extending her hand, clasping on to Narda's.
"Narda Custodio po, ah, sundo po ni Regina..."
Regina finally caught her eye. Narda had to give her that same flicker in her eyes. That knowing look. She rolled her tongue in her mouth while she raises her eyebrows at Regina.
Regina could not help but smile, she was always weak around the smugface Narda.
Especially when she looked so good with just that certain glimmer in her dark eyes.
---------------------------------
Narda volunteered to help.
The thing was Regina exerted effort with people, at times she almost sounded scripted. Narda was a natural at it. She knew how to get their hearts, this did not surprise Regina.
Narda had been running around. Some women asked for her to take their blood pressure, since she was a future doctor. Then later on, she started playing with the children in the waiting area. By the time Regina caught up to her, Narda had a toy octopus on her head and a stethoscope around her neck.
"Medyo hot tignan si Dra. Custodio," Regina elbowed her.
"Attorney Vanguardia!" Narda smiled widely.
They sat on the bench, the octopus still on Narda's head. She had water prepared for Regina in a Yeti Rambler. She grabbed a mini towel to wipe Regina's sweat on her neck, Narda was full of concern.
Regina heartily drank, tired and parched from the entire day. Both of them were exhausted, unable to say much.
"Hindi mo sinabi na maganda pala boss mo dito," Narda said randomly, she was expressionless while she talked.
"Si Atty. Mariano? Yeah. She is beautiful," Regina said enthusiastically.
"Close kayo? Lagi kayo magkasama?"
Narda tightened her jaw, her eyes blank. She fidgeted on her seat and twisted her lips. She looked like an unsure child. This gave Regina amusement.
"Oh my God," Regina exclaimed as she raised her left eyebrow, her mouth went agape.
"Ano? Close nga kayo, 'di ba?"
"Are you... jealous?"
"Bakit naman ako magseselos... di noh, paki ko naman sa boss mo-- parang weird lang kasi na hindi mo sinabi na close kayo," Narda kept ranting.
"Wait. What?"
"Eh alam ko ganyan mga tipo mo, diba? Naging crush mo? Yiii, naging crush."
Narda kept talking and teasing but the bitterness in her voice was apparent.
Regina had to laugh loudly. She slowly inched herself closer to Narda, taking off the yellow octopus on her head.
Her hands gently held on to Narda's face and she squished her girlfriend's cheeks.
"One. She is very straight. Two---parang Ate ko na yun. Three--- yes, she is more my type but I am more into the one who breaks my rules. You have nothing to worry about, Smugface," Regina explained, she beamed from ear to ear.
Narda's furrowed eyebrows slowly faded and her child-like smile formed on her lips. Regina's palms were still squishing her cheeks and she playfully bit Regina's wrist. They both laughed at her silly jealous antics.
But then it had to stop.
"Regina, not a surprise to see you here," a voice suddenly boomed.
Narda slowly faced him, right in front of her was Rex Vanguardia, he had a slicked up hair and an all black Valentino suit.
He looked at Narda with a smile that was meant to intimidate.
"Andito pala friend mo---? Let me invite you both for dinner," Rex exclaimed. His bodyguards in short sleeved barongs roamed around him as he invited the two.
"No --- Dad, we are not hungry naman."
"Maria Regina... I insist."
Even with his cheerful tone, Rex Vanguardia was built to intimidate.
--------------------------
La Nacional was one of the Vanguardia's favorite family restaurants. It was a fusion Chinese-Spanish restaurant by their village, it looked like a mini library clouded with dark, velvet curtains and intricate Nara shelves everywhere.
It was dark inside, the air conditioning was at its full gust , and Narda had to hug herself in her arms. She shivered from the coldness --- of the restaurant and that dinner with Sir Rex.
Right in front of her was the lengua drenched with red wine sauce, the tripe with the blood sausage, and the black squid ink paella. The only thing familiar was the roasted duck.
"Thank you po talaga sa dinner, Sir Rex."
Narda clenched her jaw as she stared at the array of dishes in front of her. She had to remember the day when she first brought Regina to eat Manila street food.
The same type of laman loob was in front of her, just this time they had to pay thousands of pesos, and served with a bottle of Tempranillo.
She could barely eat.
She had gone through all of Rex's interview questions. Her scholarship. Her course. How long she has known Regina. How often do they hang out. Regina glared at her dad the entire time.
Narda noticed that Rex was protective of Regina. That was no secret. Narda was intelligent, she knew why Rex wanted this dinner. It was to pry on her.
He was a hard-hitting and expert businessman, nothing was going to go unnoticed with someone like Rex.
He had keen attention to detail and he knew his daughter was seeing Narda.
Narda's mind wandered while her nervousness kicked in. In the cliché movies, the poor girl like her would resent someone like Rex, Narda thought.
But for Narda, she envied Regina. She never really had a parent who cared to protect her like that.
"Saan ang probinsya mo ulit, Narda?" Rex asked.
"Sa Nueva Esperanza po, Sir Rex," Narda widened her eyes, snapping out of her orbiting thoughts.
"Tito Rex nalang, hija. Far from home. What does your father do?" Rex sipped his burgundy wine, while he kept studying Narda's every move. He was polite but his eyes kept boring on her, observing her.
"Si Nanay lang po ang kasama ko. Ano po --- may business po siya. Gotohan. Raised kami ng mga kapatid ko ng single mom po... "
"That must be hard. How was it growing up, hija? Nueva Esperanza is--- a very different life from Metro Manila."
Regina darted her serpentine eyes towards her father. She gulped the wine and her mouth twisted into a seething type of chagrin. She knew exactly what her father was doing.
"Dad, Narda is a breadwinner. She has been working since she was fifteen years old. Yung OJT niya? She was a researcher sa Fred Hutchinson, their only Filipino intern at that ... Narda has done a lot to help her mom. Narda is our top scholar in Padua U kaya she had a lot of competing internships --- why do you have this condescending tone while speaking to her?" she spoke with acerbity, her tongue rolling as she cut off her father.
"Maria Regina, come on, what condescending tone? I am just getting to know your friend," Rex chuckled while he shook his head.
"Regina, ok lang--- natural lang naman magtanong ang Daddy mo," Narda nodded as she reached out to tap Regina's hand with her fingers.
Rex knifed his callos as he ate the morsel, quickly observing how Narda's fingers crawled on to his daughter's hand.
"I'm glad Regina has a friend like you. It will keep her inspired for now kasi alam mo, mamimiss niyan Pilipinas. Mabuti she has friends before she leaves," Rex said nonchalantly.
"Before she leaves po?" Narda asked her tone going high pitched.
Regina clanked her fork on her plate in seething fury now, her knuckles had turned white as she gaped at her dad.
"Yes. My beautiful eldest daughter here is going to New York. She's going to Columbia University. Law School. Maria Regina, you did not even tell your friend?"
Narda curved her lips to a forced smile as she nodded timidly.
"I am happy for you, Regina. Exciting."
Her voice had gone soft and finally, Narda chugged the glass of bold Tempranillo. The acid resting on her tongue and the burn filling her throat.
She kept smiling throughout the dinner, the dread kept spreading again in her chest. She played the well-mannered and courteous friend for the Vanguardias but the dull ache surrounded her.
The restaurant had a string quartet playing right next to them, the violin strings were rapid and the cello filled the room. Narda recognized that it was an instrumental version of Taylor Swift's "Wildest Dreams" as the song kept going, the realization spread through her spine.
She felt like her hands were clutching onto the grains of sand again.
She was holding on to the impossible.
She was losing Regina.
All signs said so.
-------------------------------------------------------
The dinner was over and Narda bid her goodbye. She refused the ride from the Vanguardias, making an excuse that she had a ride.
But truth of the matter was she was going to get another jeep.
She dragged her feet in her tattered sneakers, the feeling of defeat engulfed her.
She walked with a blank stare as she headed to the station. The night was humid and the moonlight shone brightly in that particular place.
"NARDA!"
Narda had to clench her eyes shut, of course, the brat would follow her.
Regina looked at her with dismay and worry, her high heeled shoes creaked on the concrete street. Her brown eyes were filled with fire and her emotions were brimming on her beautiful face.
"I am so sorry about that interrogation. I am so sorry I did not tell you about New York. I am so sorry that you had to experience that," Regina was in a rapid beat, enunciating with fervor.
"Wala naman yun, Regina. Buti nga concerned daddy mo sa'yo. At wala naman siya ginawa? Normal lang naman yun sa mga ama. Buti nga may magulang ka na concerned sa'yo. Sige--- mauuna na ako."
Narda forced a smile but she talked almost robotic, without any stir of emotions. She was not angry. She did not have resentment, she only had acceptance.
"What the fuck, you're not even angry? My dad judged your character there. I lied. You are not even the least bit reacting to it. You are acting like nothing happened," Regina spat her words, her eyes welling with heavy sentiment.
Narda rested her crossed palms on her head as she exhaled. She looked at Regina with a defeated smile.
"Ano gusto mo gawin ko? Magalit? May rason naman Daddy mo. Iba plano niya sa'yo. Concerned lang din siya. Kailangan ka pumuntang New York. College romances tend to be like this," Narda sighed, she clenched her jaw unable to look at Regina.
"You're so fuckin good at this, Narda," Regina exhaled in exasperation.
"Good at what?"
"When emotions are here, when you have to face your own vulnerabilities.---wala ka na. Parang yung bigla ka nalang nawala noong dumating ex-girlfriend mo. Ganitong ganito. This is so YOU. YOU run away. Sabi mo I am the one who is hurt? Na hurt people hurt people? Ikaw --- takbo lang ginagawa mo. You accept. You react. You run. You already sound like you've given up," Regina's voice shook, suppressing her tears from falling.
"Regina, ano gusto mo gawin ko? Magalit sa'yo? Magalit sa Daddy mo? Magalit kasi nandito lang ako? Magalit kasi I do not have privilege, tapos isisiksik ko sarili ko sa mga mundo ng mga tao dito? Hindi ako umeeskapo. Kasi sa totoo lang punong puno rin ako. Pero ano magagawa ko? Sisigawan kita? Come up with a plan pag nasa New York ka na? Habang ang mga katulad ko --- ay wala naman sa mga long-term plans mo? Ano naman magagawa natin dito?"
Narda spoke softly like everything in her had been vanquished. She did not have any stirring rage, it was like she acquiesced to her fate.
Resigned to all of it.
It was like she had chosen to ride this out until the expiration date.
"What do I want? I want you to FIGHT for us. Because once I get in that car, I will do just that. Hindi yung react ka lang nang react. Takbo ka lang nang takbo. God, you are so intelligent but you're such an idiot sometimes. I LOVE YOU, Narda Custodio. Can't you see? I am breaking all my rules for you kasi MAHAL KITA. Now when will you stop running away from us?"
Regina's voice quivered, her piercing chocolate-brown eyes glistened in intensity and heated tears.
She boldly looked at Narda and her beautiful face glowed in fury and God, even love.
Narda saw that but she was left there, clenching her fists in silence.
Unable to say a word to Regina.
"Meet me at the Opera on Saturday, Narda. Magkakafund raising ang Vanguardia Foundation. "
"Regina ... hindi mo kasi alam..."
"They are performing Turandot and I am asking you to be my date. Kung hindi ka na takot. Kung hindi ka na puro react. If you want to stop running away, show up. If you do not show up--- I guess, you are right, this is just a stupid, college romance."
Regina shook her head, while she started walking away. Her heels thudded in the night, and she moved like she fought against the world on her shoulders.
Filled with confidence and fire in her sudden movements. Even though, she was breaking inside.
The violin strings echoed in the night air, the solemn version of the Taylor Swift played languidly.
Narda balled her fist as she released a quiet sob. Unable to even shed tears as if she had been too tired.
She stood still there in the middle of pedestrian rush hour on that street. The truth reflected in her rapid tears.
She could not even say "I love you" back.
-----------------------------
The next few days, Regina was right. Narda did not call. She did not text. She did not show up in their one class together. Narda always ran away when emotions overwhelmed her.
Because feelings were not something she drowned in, she had no time for that.
She looked outside the library window, the sun was setting. Her piercing brown eyes were turning glassy again.
---------------------------
Narda was in her little dorm in her shorts and sando, her hair was in disarray, and her face blank. She climbed up her little bed while she looked at her Sailor-Moon box.
"Narda, ano plano mo? Takbo na naman," Ding sat on the wooden floor, looking at her with dismay in his eyes.
"Ding, may expiration date naman talaga lahat, e. Baka nilalayo nalang talaga si Regina saakin--- maybe this is my fate," she said in an absent-minded manner, her tone void of emotions.
She plunked on her springy bed, huddling under the blankets Regina gave her. On her hand was the box of Sailor Moon band-aids. But there was a heavy clank when she lifted it.
Inside it was something that gleamed through. It was a mix of green and red streaks that reflected in her irises. Narda quickly shut her eyes and a teardrop slid on her cheek.
----------------------
The Hummer limousines were on display. The Moët & Chandon champagne were popping everywhere. The fountains did not flow with water but liquor. The hushes and the rumors within the upper class were abuzz. The night of the opera was filled with the Alta crowd.
It was another Vanguardia Foundation fundraiser event filled with men in their sleek tuxes and women in their most extravagant designer gowns.
Regina and her father, Rex already fought. He could not believe she allowed her little sister to hang out with her tropa. He could not believe Regina had gone lenient on Luna. He was disappointed that Regina was going against his mold and expectations.
He was disgruntled that Regina insisted that Narda Custodio would be her date. He already discouraged his daughter. Narda would never, he said. He kept telling her that Narda was smart and she knew her place in Regina's life.
But Regina strutted proudly while she waited by the entrance. She was in her black, silk Oscar dela Renta gown. The bow embellished tube dress was like painted on her curvaceous body. A feather shawl flowed on her milk-like shoulders and her smooth back. She looked like she came from the old Hollywood films as soon as she walked around with her scarlet lipstick on.
Men turned around and some even tried to introduce themselves. But Regina's piercing brown eyes focused on the street before the entrance.
She stood there and waited. For more than an hour. It was nearing 8 PM and the show was going to start.
And with that, she was fighting the warm tears that were already to the brim of her light brown eyes. She exhaled, fighting the tightness in her throat. She was not going to cry.
Why do I keep letting people in? Why do I allow them to take this much space in my heart?
The clock struck. She still waited. There was no Narda. She wondered if it was going to be ten minutes more. There was still no sign of her. Her blonde-streaked hair fluttered with the sudden wind. She could hear the booming orchestra from the theater and she felt her heart drop by the sound of the double bass.
Her father was right.
She exhaled in exasperation, full of bottled in pain. Regina turned around weakly, approaching the golden theater doors, resigned with the reality of her stupid, college romance.
"Miss! Miss! Hindi po kayo pwede pumasok!"
She overheard the security guard fighting with someone. She was curious to see what the commotion was about.
Until she saw that vision in white.
The white gown was simple but it clung to her body, accentuating familiar curves. The woman in white wobbled in her heels but she tried to find confidence. Her tanned skin glowed in the night.
Regina suddenly felt that rush in her heart.
"Regina! Paki-sabi nga kay Kuya Guard na kasama mo ako," Narda exclaimed.
And with one gaze, Narda gave Regina her signature smug smirk. Regina laughed as she held back her tears.
"She is with me. Her name is on the guest list. Narda Custodio, she is my date."
"Sorry... nanghiram pa ako ng damit, nagpamakeup pa ako sa parlor--- tapos traffic pa," Narda winked.
Narda soon held Regina's gloved hand.
"Kamahalan. Sorry na. Andito na ako. Hindi na tumatakbo."
She lifted their intertwined fingers and smiled.
"God, I hate late people!" Regina exclaimed, furrowing her eyebrows.
"Pero Kamahalan? I also break all your rules," Narda smirked confidently.
------------------------
Regina and Narda entered the theater holding their hands tightly. People looked as they entered. The murmurs and whispers were abuzz as they passed by row per row. They sat next to Rex in the velvet seats.
"Dad, this is Narda Custodio. Girlfriend ko," Regina smiled.
Rex's mouth went agape and his eyes widened, he felt like he needed to loosen his Gucci tie. Out of trained politeness he shook Narda's hand.
He could not find words for his daughter.
The orchestra blared some more as the lights dimmed and the people started clapping their hands. Rex smiled in a forced manner, he realized if this was a chess game, his daughter gave him the biggest checkmate.
Regina Vanguardia will always be his bull-headed and strong-willed daughter.
------------------------
In the middle of the show, Regina invited Narda to the theater gallery, which was the empty balcony. For Regina, this was the best seat in the house. She insisted they had to see everything. It was not a packed theater but it was colossal.
The classic song, Nessun Dorma was being performed by the tenor.
Narda suddenly wrapped her arms around Regina's waist and she rested her chin on her shoulder. She struggled with her petite frame but she was just so relieved to feel Regina's warmth again.
"Alam mo yung kantang ito? Sobrang baduy. So extra," Narda murmured against Regina's smooth shoulder.
"Ano?"
"So pag ganitong madrama sa opera ang tawag diyan ay Aria. Itong Aria na ito sa Turandot? Ay tungkol sa riddle. So etong si Calaf nainlove kay Princess Turandot. Yung Daddy ni Turandot ay super strict. Si Prinsesa naman sociopath. So sabi ng hari ... if talagang gusto mo anak ko, kailangan mo sagutin ang three riddles ko," Narda was enthralled while she explained.
"Damn, you know too much useless information."
"Makinig ka nga muna, Kamahalan? So ayun kailangan niya sagutin ang three riddles, kung hindi-- pupugutin ulo niya!"
"That's extreme!"
"But really, ang sinasabi lang ng song na ito ay ---- damn, she thick, she got ass, magiging akin siya at mananalo ako sa game show bukas," Narda shrugged.
"God, that Princess sure sounds difficult..."
"She is worth the difficulty,e," Narda smiled innocently while she spoke.
When Narda was happy, her whole face smiled. From her eyes that lit up to the way her cheeks lifted up.
Narda suddenly rummaged her purse. She shook the little box of Sailor Moon band-aids in front of Regina. Regina looked baffled.
Regina impatiently opened the box. Then she felt something heavy in it. There was a thud and she felt something cold on her palm.
She realized there was a silver necklace with a jade snake and a falling star.
"Matagal ko na actually gusto ibigay pero hindi lang tama timing. Sorry na hirap ako pasukin ang mundo mo. Pero ito na. Ikaw ang favorite mong ahas. Ako ang falling star na lagi kong sinusumpa pag nakikita ko. Just our two worlds... colliding... my Princess Turandot," Narda beamed.
Narda tiptoed and slowly clasped the silver necklace on Regina's pallid neck. It sat with Regina's own emeralds.
Regina swiftly faced her, her piercing eyes filled with so much ardor.
She was speechless but her eyes boldly told so many declarations of love.
The orchestra swelled into the harrowing love song. The theater had a thunderous applause. The tenor sang his love confession as the violin strings drowned into the melody.
Regina wasted no time and instantly cupped Narda's face, kissing her with gravity, and fervor.
Narda slowly got lost into the kiss and held Regina in her arms as she softly surrendered to the taller woman's warmth.
When the kiss ended, they both had to smile.
"I want you. I wish you were not so careful with me. Why are you so gentle with me?" Regina whispered.
Regina knew Narda was not like that. But she was human and the truth was, she never wanted her as much as she did right at that moment.
Narda did not say a word, she just held on to Regina's waist as they watched the show.
---------------------------
The night had ended. Regina was home and her father refused to talk to her after the fundraising event.
In her stiletto heels, she slowly ascended the stairs. Her stirring feelings overtaking her. Her room was cold and empty as she pushed the great panel door. The fairy lights surrounded her with a bit of warmth. Her fingers played with the chain of Narda's necklace. She looked at the mirror and her pristine eyes looked at her reflection. The woman that now faced her was one with so much fervor. Her eyes were no longer just glassy.
She heard the rain pelting outside, thudding on her bedroom window. She sighed, how could she miss Narda already?
--------------------
Narda was in a cheap taxi, the rain was building patterns on the window. Her mind was wandering again, she asked herself if she deserved to be that happy.
The driver was a middle-aged woman who berated Narda for commuting alone in such a night. The air-conditioner was barely working in that old Toyota. The radio blared an old 1990s love song that Narda had never heard of before.
And all I want from you is what you are
And even if you're right next to me
You're still too far away
"Ma'am... teka lang po," Narda suddenly exclaimed.
-----------------
Regina sat on her bed, still in her Oscar dela Renta gown, while she stared at the apple green wall in a part of her room.
The one Narda painted.
That night she did not know why she craved for Narda that much.
Her phone suddenly buzzed.
She suddenly peered out the window and there was Narda outside, in her white dress, soaked through the rain. Through the window, she could see how Narda intensely stared at her while she waited outside.
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As soon as they entered Regina's room, Narda slammed the door with her heels. She swiftly grabbed Regina's face and crashed her mouth roughly onto hers. The kiss was impassioned and filled with ferocity.
Their mouths soon engulfing. Their teeth had to clash. Their tongues tasting the after effects of the fundraiser champagne. Narda's hair now flowing to her shoulders as she got rid off her hair clip. Regina had to push Narda onto the wall, slamming each other roughly. They got more lost into the hungry kisses.
Narda had to lift her head, ending the kiss. Her dark doe-eyes looked at Regina with both vulnerability and sternness. She had to exhale as she looked at Regina's flushed and plump lips.
"Regina, hindi ko alam if tama ba na ganito ako kasaya? Pero I am sorry na ngayon ko lang sasabihin na mahal kita. Mahal na mahal kita, noon pa," Narda exhaled as if she had given a sigh of relief.
She leaned into kiss Regina again, filled with more passion as if longing to confess all her sorrows and love into one kiss.
Rush, rush
Hurry, hurry lover, come to me
I wanna see, I wanna see ya get free with me
Rush, rush
I can feel it, I can feel you all through me
She aggressively pushed Regina onto the vast king bed. While Regina was sitting down, Narda knelt down in front of her. She was out of breath while she effortlessly lifted Regina's dress. The fabric like a cape that she had to stir. She hiked up the skirt of the dress as it slowly unveiled Regina's smooth legs.
Narda was in a serious trance, languidly kissing the supple skin each time the fabric reveals more. Her mouth open each time she felt more of Regina on her.
Her kisses felt like molten heat on Regina's skin. Regina had to exhale loudly with just the little touches. Soon her panties were rolled down, Narda's fingers dancing around her skin felt like torture.
Right when Narda wanted a taste, she could not completely remove the dress. Narda had a hard time completely discarding it. The two had to awkwardly laugh, breaking a bit of the intensity.
Regina threw her gloves. She did a come hither movement with her fingers as she moved into the center of the bed, inviting Narda with her. The taller woman showed arrogance, with one click of her clasp, the dress slowly fell on to its different layers.
They hungrily kissed again, as Narda's rain-soaked dress was ripped by Regina. Her toned body was something she could not resist. She kissed through Narda's scars. Her lips getting lost on her breasts. She was eagerly trying to feel more of her girlfriend's goose-bumped skin on hers.
Hands tussled out of complicated dresses and soon they lay next to each other completely naked. It felt like electricity when their chests finally touched.
I don't know just how or why
But no one else has touched me
So deep, so deep, so deep inside
Narda's searing kisses explored the porcelain-like skin of Regina. Soon her tongue traced onto her girlfriend's body. Tracing over her tattoos, her soft breasts, exploring the peaks of her curves, and teasing through the inside of her thighs.
Her fingers dug through Regina's knees when her tongue finally found her lover's center. Her tongue grazed and darted. When Regina bucked, she hummed and savored.
And Narda watched Regina intently as the pleasure overcomes her girlfriend.
After relishing on Regina, her fingers joined in. Thrusted in, feeling more of Regina around her. The instant clench. The taste. The power. The love.
Overwhelming Narda's own senses.
Regina was beautiful as she threw her head back, whimpering audibly. She tugged on Narda's hair. Sweat trickled on her neck as she gasped for air, the climax making her shudder.
Narda desperately met her mouth as if unable to breathe if she could not kiss Regina again. A groan came out as their lips collided.
Soon, fingers explored each other, tongues dove in for an addiction, their mouths like mercenaries in the night, the low moans echoed in, euphoria took over, hours flowed, and sweat glistened in the moonlight.
Narda looked hypnotized when she aligned their bodies together, she ground desperately as she felt her skin against skin. Her fingers started wandering again. Her movements suddenly more frenetic when Regina had wrapped her leg around her waist, giving her more access.
Narda felt her own frantic build-up again.
"Narda,m--more," Regina whispered as she nipped onto her girlfriend's reddened ear lobe.
Narda's fingers found that already familiar spot as Regina's eyes fluttered shut. She increased her speed as she thrusted. Her soft lips and sharp teeth found a sensitive spot on Regina's throat.
Their movements had Regina moan so loudly. Regina felt like she was a bunch of tangled lights and she finally blew a fuse. Her words were incoherent as she came.
Narda had to cover Regina's mouth as she kept going to reach her own peak.
After a few more, particularly deep, and perfectly-aimed thrusts, a sharp cry, suddenly came out of Regina's mouth. She felt that release again. It was something in between a sob and Narda's name. She had to muffle her voice with her pillow.
Watching Regina come undone was like madness for Narda as she kept thrusting on Regina's skin, soon catching up with her own high.
Her hips had gone wobbly and relentless as she finally unraveled herself. She hissed as she kissed Regina. She felt the pulses all over her body when she came.
As they recovered from the extreme high, Narda pelted kisses all over Regina's shoulders and back. The shadows of the rain mixing in with her luminous skin.
Regina faintly smiled, a bit exhausted at what just transpired. She dragged Narda closer to her, feeling her girlfriend's skin on her back made her feel so much warmth and peace.
"Kaya ko kaya tahiin yung dress na yun?" Narda chuckled, her voice already hoarse with exhaustion.
They both laughed and held each other closer.
"Mahal na mahal kita, Regina," Narda whispered, scooping Regina in as the petite girl ended up as big spoon this time.
"I love you, Narda."
Soon, they drifted into sleep. The cold rain still pelted and the thunder boomed.
Rush... rush... oooh what you do to me.
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Carson drank whisky shots in a club. It was an exclusive party in a dimly lit room.
He danced with many women as he celebrated another win with the varsity team.
He sat down on the VIP couch as he casually snorted cocaine in front of him. He was then approached by his varsity mate.
"Kayo ba nung Luna Vanguardia?"
"Fuck no," Carson jeered.
"Pero chick mo? Dating?"
"You can say that," Carson mused, sniffing uncontrollably.
"Nakita ko sa story ng friend ko. Nag laser tag sila ng tropa nila kanina. Bakit kasama ni Luna si Luce?" the young man asked with an intrigued expression.
Carson grabbed the iPhone as he studied the group photo. He tightened his jaw as he took a whisky shot.
"Putangina," he blurted out.
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Regina was still naked and fast asleep on the king bed. The bed covers were in disarray. The sun was about to rise. Narda grabbed the comforter as she wrapped herself around it. She sat by the bathroom, far from Regina.
She hit record on her phone, "Kamahalan... I wish to tell you the truth... na oo, nagsimula ito na kasinungalingan pero totoo na lahat ng ito... mahal na mahal na kita."
She whispered, hoping she would not wake Regina.
The phone still kept recording.
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What is the future for the couple?
What will Carson do?
Will Narda finally tell the whole truth?
'till next chapter