Love of my life. I can sincerely say that he was, is, and will always be the love of my life.
I tried to replace him, but I couldn't. He once told me that if we will ever break up, i will search for him in every person that i'll date, and i'll never be truly happy again. I can say that he was right. I don't like to admit when someone is right because I'm the most stubborn person ever, and especially when men are right ( hehe), but this time i'll admit.
I tried to reach out and let him know that I miss him. I guess that's all i can do, I won't force myself on someone who seems like it doesn't feel the same. Even if it hurts,(listen to Jonah Kagen-broken) we have to move on, right? Because if we truly love someone, we have to let them go. (that's what they say, right?) And if they decide to come back, that means their heart was always in your hands.
I still think about him daily. I guess true love doesn't fade away that easily, I never felt what I feel now. This kind of sadness, guilt, regret, loneliness. Yeah, I blame myself for some things. I guess he got tired of my behaviour at some point, and I won't blame him. I tried to be better tho. I know he tried to be the best version of himself too, even if i hurt him many times and I didn't deserve him to stick around. I'm working on myself tho. I'm focusing on myself. I really think I'm on the right path now.
I miss you. I really do. I love you, I really do. And...I'll wait for you. I know we are meant to be together, I know we are soulmates because i felt that for more than 4 years. Good things take time. And you're worth the wait, because i know i don't want to share life with anyone else, just with you. (listen to Bruno Mars- Marry you) And you know it too, our love was biblical. (listen to Calum Scott- Biblical) Our song.
Even if no one liked him, my family, my friends, everyone told me that he is not good for me, I never listened. Because they never saw the side of him that I did. So yeah guys, don't ever listen to anyone, follow your heart. People ruin things. Don't let them.
If you ever decide to come back, or reach out, please do so. I promise that I'm not the same person, and we have a lot to catch up, I have so many things that I'm dying to tell you. (Also I still didn't watch the last episodes of Stranger Things, because I'm waiting for you <3)
And you guys will understand our story in the following. Just be patient. Interesting things are coming your way. Bare with me.
And one last time. I love you to the moon and never back. Also, this song makes me think of you: Miguel-sure thing.
With love,
Bumbi