I forget I have a brother.
Okay, I know I have a brother- I grew up with him. But after four years of having zero contact with him, I forget about him. I forget what he's like. I know he's my brother; his name is Zack. Do I remember his personality, or his voice, or honestly anything else? No.
I've mentioned this to my oldest brother, Grayson, so I couldn't understand why he would make me move in with the bastard who decided to ghost his own family.
"Cara, I understand it's going to be difficult living with him," Grayson mumbled, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. "I'm not asking you two to pretend like nothing ever happened and get along."
"Then why can't i just stay with you?" I asked, adjusting my pillow so I can lay my head against the window. "We've been living fine. just us. even without mom."
Grayson took care of me ever since my mom had left on a trip overseas for her business. He was only eighteen at the time, but he was more of a guardian than my mom ever was. It was just us two for an entire year, and it was perfect just like that. So I didn't know why I had to be separated from him.
"I know, it's just... I have a lot of work that's being sent to me from our parents," Grayson said. "I can't take care of you when I have too much going on, and it would be better for you to live with someone who will actually look after you."
I sunk my head into my pillow, trying not to make my disappointment clear. I've heard his explanation so many times, yet I ended up getting upset whenever he told me this will be better for me. But if there's anything I cared about, it was my brother. If it meant I wouldn't burden him by having him take care of me, I guess I can tolerate living elsewhere until everything gets better.
"Besides, I won't be too far away. A couple hour drive. That's not too bad, right?" His attempt at optimism was a failure. "If you need anything, you can always call me, Cara. Just because I'm busy doesn't mean I won't be there for you."
I really tried my hardest to look on the bright side, but it was hard leaving the town I grew up in. I was happy there. My mom owned a wealthy mansion which we lived in, I had so many friends there, and I was doing really well in school. This was my first time moving away from that.
"Alright, here we are." Grayson parked the car as I pulled my pillow down to look. It was a giant, white high-rise apartment. I've never lived in an apartment before. "Grab your stuff, I'll take your suitcases."
Leaving the car, I was met by a nice, cool breeze. I quickly wrapped my blanket around me then swung my backpack onto my shoulders. I grabbed my pillow and shut the door. To my left was Grayson easily taking the two suitcases from the trunk.
"Come on, I'll show you where you'll be staying."
When we reached the elevators, I was impressed with how many buttons they were able to fit. There were seventy stories, and Zack's room was on the 23rd floor. The elevator ride took longer than I expected. Maybe it would be faster to run up the stairs.
The apartment room wasn't too far from the elevators. It was the seventh door, coated with metallic gray paint. There was a small 7 written on the top left corner.
"Cara, remember the passcode, okay?" Grayson started entering the numbers into the pin-pad latched onto the door.
Zero, five, eight, one, four.
I mentally repeated the numbers in my head until he pushed the door open, revealing a small, but bright and warm living room furnished with homey decor. Stepping inside, a small kitchen was directly to the left. There wasn't a dining area, but there was an island in the kitchen to accommodate.
It was way smaller than anything I was used to, which was confusing because Zack had just as much money as we did. He moved away with my dad after all, and I was sure he sends money to Zack occasionally.
"I don't know why he chose such a small place to live in," Grayson grumbled, closing the door behind us. "He could buy the entire building if he wanted to."
Suddenly, the door next to the kitchen opened and a tall, built figure walked out, water dripping from his hair as he dried it with a towel. "Can't believe the first words I hear from you after four years is you judging the place I live."
I stood there, frozen in place as our eyes met each others. The last time I saw him, he was fourteen. His natural black hair was dyed a light shade of brown. He became a lot taller than I ever expected from him.
Grayson cleared his throat. "You grew. Been working out?" He walked over to Zack, reaching his hand out. They both firmly clasped their hands over each others, pulling them into a quick hug. Grayson clapped the back of his shoulder. "It's been a while."
Zack was almost as tall as him. "Yeah, it has. You've gotten bigger too."
Grayson shrugged. "I work out when I have the chance. You still box?" I stood by the door, waiting for them to end their conversation. I was the only one sulking in this awkward atmosphere, jealous at how fast they were getting along. What was I supposed to talk about with him?
"I box occasionally." Zack then shifted his focus from Grayson to me. "You look the same." His tone suddenly changed. It wasn't lively or relaxed like it was a second ago. It was tense- as if something suddenly annoyed him.
Maybe I was feeling bitter at how he cut us off without a word. "I'm surprised you remember."
"I wish I didn't have to," he spat right back at me. Immediately, Grayson landed a hard smack on the side of Zack's head. It caught both of us off guard.
Grayson's eyebrows furrowed together. "The hell's your problem?"
"It's been two minutes since we meet and you're going to hit me?" Zack scoffed in disbelief, rubbing the place he got hit while wincing. I didn't know what was going on. The sudden shift from how he acted towards Grayson then to me made me feel uneasy.
"I don't want any problems." Grayson yawned as he walked back over to me. "Can you show her around?"
Zack's eyes narrowed at me. "You've got eyes. You've got legs. Walk around and figure it out yourself."
"Hey, don't talk to her like that." Grayson's tone shifted in a split second as well. Everything went silent. My grip around my pillow tightened as I realized I didn't want to stay here anymore. What the hell was his problem?
Zack shut his eyes for a moment before letting out a sigh of annoyance. He pointed to the door next to me. "Bathroom." Then he pointed to the door ahead of that. "Your room." He then pointed behind him. "My room."
Ever second of it grew the resentment inside of me. He was annoyed with me for some reason, and I was getting equally as annoyed back.
He dropped his hands to his side. "You need me to point out the room you're standing in?"
Grayson grabbed the backpack off my shoulder. "Come on. Let's go into your room." He opened the door to my room, pulling in the suitcases. I followed him quickly. I didn't want to be near Zack anymore.
My room had nothing but a single bed against the left side of the wall. Grayson sighed. "I'll get you a desk. And a dresser or a bedside table. Just... let me know what you need."
I dropped my stuff onto the ground. "Grayson. Can I please go home with you?"
"Cara..." grayson sighed once more. "It'll be better once we decorate your room, okay? We can buy whatever you want. You even have your own bathroom connected-"
"That's not the reason," I said, swallowing the lump in my throat.
"Clearly, she doesn't want to stay with me," Zack called out from outside. "Since the feeling is mutual, please take her with you."
Grayson's jaw clenched as he stared at the ceiling, something he does when he needs to calm down. "Cara." His voice was angry but he attempted to sound as gentle as he could. "I'll talk to him, alright? Unpack your stuff." From one look at his face, I knew there would be no convincing him. Defeat washed over me as I dragged the suitcases over to me. I knew when not to push him any further.
He walked out of my room. I didn't see what was happening, but I heard Zack yell in protest as he got dragged out of the apartment. The door shut and silence overtook the tense atmosphere.
I blankly started unpacking my stuff, trying to suppress the feeling of being homesick. I had to bear it for Grayson. By the time I finished unloading one suitcase, my brothers walked back inside the apartment complex.
"Cara, come here for a sec," Grayson called.
I reluctantly got up, preparing myself for what's about to come. I walked out of my room to Grayson standing at the door with his arms crossed and Zack leaning against the island with a bored expression.
"Okay, listen. I'm not asking you guys to be the best of friends or whatever. I just need you to tolerate each other until things get figured out, alright?" Grayson started. "Cara, Zack promised he won't bother you at all. So both of you, please just try to get along at least a little."
I stared at the ground, my eyes trailing the pattern on the wood floor.
"I have to go back now, but..." Grayson said, but a second later, I felt a hand rest on top of my head. I looked up to see him standing over me, a sorry smile on his face. "You got it, cara. You'll be okay."
Shit. If he went any longer, I could have shed a tear. "Good luck with your work, Grayson."
He nodded, giving me a quick hug. "Call me if anything happens. I'm always here, alright?" Grayson pulled away and walked over to Zack who reluctantly gave another firm handshake.
Then Grayson left without looking back.
Before I could hide back in my room, Zack called my name. I turned around. He cocked his head at me. I stared at him. He then let out a sigh. "Alright. Let's set some ground rules."After what seemed like hours of endless babbling by him, he finally stopped.
"You got that?" Zack glared down at me, a sour expression on his face.
Yeah, yeah. Don't be loud. Don't eat his food. Don't bring friends over. Everything has to be clean. Wash your own dishes. Don't use the T.V. Don't come home late. Don't come home when his friends are over. Keep the lights off. This and that.
Some of them were understandable.
Some of them were him being petty.
"Okay, school shit." Zack opened the plastic trash bag that was hanging on one of the cabinets and pulled out a school uniform. He tossed it to me. "God, do you know how fucking troublesome it is to get this? I even got you two." Under the plastic wrap was a gray-colored uniform. It kind of sucked having to wear this- I was used to wearing whatever I want.
"Find your own ride in the morning," he said. "I'm not taking you to school. Imagine getting out of the car with you." He muttered to himself, "Fucking embarrassing." I didn't even try to stop myself from rolling my eyes at his bitchy attitude.
"Also, for fuck's sake do not pretend to know me." His voice became extremely serious. "In school, you are not my sister. If anyone finds out, I'll... I'll kill you. Got it?"
"Fine by me," I said, heading back into my room and closing the door.
Before I knew it, his hand was stopping the door from fully closing. "Just... stay out of my fucking life, okay? And I'll stay out of yours."
"I said, fine by me." I shut the door on him. I heard him let out a scoff, followed by the sound of him slamming his own door shut.
What happened to him? Zack was unrecognizable. Everything about him was so angry. Did I upset him or something? I didn't think he would have changed this much. or maybe he just grew up. Going from fourteen to eighteen is a big change after all. But jesus christ.
How can someone grow up to be that bitchy?
•••
"Feeling like a burden means that you're frequently afraid that you're inconveniencing, annoying, or frustrating other people. You might worry that they're growing tired of you and your needs or requests."
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I hope you guys enjoyed the start of the book and will stick along as it grows.
Thanks for reading guys!
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