TW : Self harm and Eating Disorder.
Sunlight streamed in through the white curtains in Steve Harrington's room. Charlie squinted his eyes and opened them slowly. Steve was lying on his chest with hakilf his weight resting on him. Charlie smiled and kissed the top of his head.
"Morning baby... We have to get up." He ran his hand up and down Steve's back. Steve only melted further to him.
Charlie tried to get out of bed but Steve held him tighter. His arm wrapped around Charlie's waist and and a leg thrown over his. He mumbled something and buried his face in Charlie's neck. Charlie laughed.
"We have work today, you can sleep in later." Charlie, with some effort, wiggled his way out of bed. Steve grumbled something and went back to sleep.
Charlie sighed. He started pulling on his jeans.
"Steve, love, I swear if you don't get up right now, you're going to be late and you are going to get fired."
Steve groaned and raised his head to look at his boyfriend with a scowl.
"I hate you." He muttered as he tried to shake off the sleepiness.
"That's not what you said last night." Charlie smirked and went around to open the curtains wide.
"You're really grumpy in the morning, you know?" Charlie walked back to the bed and sat on the edge.
"Guess... You're really rubbing off on me."
Steve said trying to lean in for a kiss.
"In more ways than one." Charlie said diverting his face and kissing Steve's forehead. Steve pouted.
"Come on, let's shower." Charlie said getting up.
"Together?" Steve asked, siddenly enthusiastic.
"Yes, Steve, together." Charlie rolled his eyes and walked into the bathroom. Steve hurriedly tumbled out of bed and followed him.
Charlie was making scrambled eggs while Steve made their coffee and toast. Charlie was wearing his white tank tucked into his blue jeans and Steve had to pull his eyes away forcefully.
"And done. Don't burn the toast Stevie." Charlie raised an eyebrow.
Steve looked away and gulped. He placed the toast in their plates and started pouring the coffee. Charlie smiled and came up behind Steve. He wrapped his arms around Steve's waist and placed a kiss on his shoulder. Steve smiled and sighed contently.
"We're going to be late." Steve said, wiggling out of Charlie's grasp with a sly smile.
"Riiiight." Charlie rolled his eyes and went back to the scrambled eggs.
They ate in silence for a few minutes. Then Charlie spoke suddenly remembering something.
"Oh... Isn't Dustin coming back from Summer camp today?"
"Oh yeah... I totally forgot." Steve said with his mouth full. He swallowed and took a sip of his coffee before continuing
"Should we like...go to his place."
"Not today. El and the rest are planning some surprise for him. I say we let them have the day."
Charlie drove Steve to the mall. He went to the pool for his shift. Heather was getting off in five minutes and he started to change. Someone cleared their throat behind him and Charlie turned around abruptly. He sighed, annoyed.
"Didn't mean to startle you." Billy said.
Charlie replied with a wave of dismissal with his hand.
"I... I wanted to talk to you." Billy stood nearer to the locker. Charlie looked up at him for second.
"About what?" He asked, pretending indifference.
"Everything."
Billy spoke softly. It reminded him of the time, they were together. A time when Billy wasn't cold to him.
"I can't right now." Charlie responded.
"Please Charlie, it won't take long."
Billy reached for Charlie's arm but stopped halfway. Charlie swallowed.
"Fine. Go ahead." Charlie crossed his arms ready to listen.
" I wanted to apologize, first. I'm sorry for everything, Charlie. For hurting you at the party, for hurting you again at the Byers."
Billy said looking straight into the Hopper's eyes.
Charlie shook his head with a sigh.
"Billy, I'm not the one you should apologize to. Max, Lucas and Steve, they are deserve an apology. As for me, I have long forgiven you for what you did to me."
"If you want me to, I will apologize to Sinclair and Harrington and Max."
"You should if you want to. Why the sudden change though?" Charlie raised a curious eyebrow.
"I know I'm a shitty person."
"That's an understatement." Charlie said. Billy chuckled.
"Okay, I'm a real asshole but I don't want to be anymore."
Charlie looked at him suspiciously.
"So what, you just...woke up one day and decided you wanted to be a better person. That doesn't set right with me."
"I understand. I just... I've had time to think and... I don't.... I can't have you hating me."
Charlie doesn't know how to respond to that. He stayed silent. So Billy continued.
"You are the only one who saw me for me, for who I am. You became my anchor, Charlie. And I know there's no going back now... But I don't want you to see me as your enemy."
Charlie breathed out deeply.
"You never were. I never thought of you as my enemy and I never will. But if you really want to be a better person, you should start be treating Max right."
Billy nodded.
"She's a good kid, Billy, she'll forgive you."
"Um hello? Sorry to bother but it's your shift Hopper!" Heather said from the door. Charlie sighed.
"Sorry, I'm coming."
He didn't say anything else and just left.
Through out the shift, Charlie's mind was consumed with the thoughts of Billy. His words resonated in his ears.
"I can't have you hating me."
The way those words were said. His voice when he said those words. Charlie was having a strong feeling of Deja Vu mixed with some kind of anxiety. He tried to convince himself that it was his mind messing with his. He had seen Billy vulnerable before, his mind was just recollecting those memories. But still, he felt that cold, unknown dread, the chill.
Charlie was in a hurry after his shift. He needed to see Steve. He needed Steve to hug him and tell him everything was okay. That he didn't have to be afraid. That they were safe. He got out of the shower and changed into his clothes.
"Got a minute?" Billy's voice came.
Charlie turned around. He was still sweating despite the cold shower.
"Yeah..." He answered almost mechanically.
"I'm going to apologize to Max. But Harrington... I don't if I should..."
"No! No you shouldn't." Charlie mediately cut him off.
"As much he deserves an apology, you shouldn't. He's still pretty angry at you and... It's just gonna make things worse."
"Okay.... And you?"
Billy asked uncertainly.
"I already told you... I forgive you."
"Still... Friends then?" Billy outstretched a hand and Charlie's heart sped up despite his will. He slowly connected his hand with the blondes.
"Yeah... Friends." Charlie agreed with a faint smile. Billy's thump traced Charlie's skin for a second or two, before slowly letting go.
"I should go." Charlie cleared his throat, physically shaking off the momories and walked out.
At Scoops Ahoy, Steve and Robin were in another argument. They were so busy bickering they didn't even notice Charlie as he walked in unceremoniously and tapped on the counter.
"Oh hey..." Steve said, his annoyed expression slipping into a find one. His face fell a little when he saw the Hopper's face.
"Can we talk for a minute." Charlie asked Steve without even glancing at Robin, afraid she might see somethings wrong with him.
Steve nodded and they both walked inside. Charlie leaned against the wall with a deep exhale.
"Something wrong?" Steve asked, his hands ame up to rest on Charlie's shoulder.
Charlie shook his head and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. He buried his head in Steve's neck and let his scent fill his senses. Steve ran his fingers through Charlie's wet hair and rubbed his back.
"I missed you." Charlie whispered. But stsve knew it was more than that.
"Tell me what happened?" He asked gently.
Charlie tightened his arms around him and spoke.
"I don't know... I'm just scared." He shuddered against Steve and the Harrington pressed him closer.
"It's okay, Lee. Everything is gonna be fine." Steve said, knowing exactly what Charlie needed to hear.
"I feel like something bad is going to happen... Like last year."
"Nothing is going to happen to you. We're okay, we're safe." Steve reassured. Charlie pulled back a little to look at his face. Steve managed a small smile.
"Promise?"
"I promise." Steve tenderly kissed his cheek.
"Let me get you an ice cream, the summer heat is getting to you." Steve pulled back.
Charlie sat on the chair, leaning back. Steve hesitated at the door looking back at his boyfriend. Charlie unbuttoned his shirt and puffed out his cheeks. He was sweating like crazy. Steve hadn't seen Charlie like this in a long time and he was worried.
Steve came with an ice cream which they shared. They talked about everything and nothing for almost half an hour. Until Robin burst in through the door.
Charlie jumped and cursed under his breath. He placed a hand over his heart, which was about to beat out of his chest any minute.
"...sorry..."Robin said meakly. She didn't expect that sort of reaction from Charlie. Steve placed a hand 9n Charlie's shoulder and squeezed.
"You Okay?"
"I'm fine. It's fine." Charlie answered mechanically. Steve didn't seem convinced.
"I think I'm going to go now. I'll see you later." Charlie said to Steve, not quite looking at him.
"Okay..." Steve replied, he knew it wasn't a good idea to ask Charlie to stay.
"Later Buckley." Charlie said said briefly before heading out.
Charlie got into his jeep and drove out into the streets. He wasn't sure if he should go home or go to Steve's place. Charlie didn't know what was happening to him and it only made things worse. He'd been fine. But then he just wasn't.
There it was again. That's feeling of not knowing but still fearing the unknown. He didn't bother going home and seeing El. He wanted to but he just couldn't. H E wanted to ring his father and but he didn't.
Charlie drove to the Harrington's. He had a spare key. He plopped down on their bed. It was hot like he was in an oven or something. Charlie rolled out of bed and opened the windows. He slid down the floor and lied there. He looked at his trembling hands, indicating his anxiety was kicking in.
He tried to arrange his thoughts.
Billy apologized. He seemed genuine, they were no hidden agendas at least none Charlie could see at the moment. Then why had it left him so disturbed?
But it wasn't the Billy, was it? He was already disturbed. The nightmare prior night, the power outage before at the mall and that constant nagging feeling in the back of his mind. It was already there.
"No! No no no! Stop!" Charlie abruptly sat up. He pressed his palms to his ears. He tried to convince himself he was getting better. He was better. He wasn't going down that rabbit hole again.
But no matter how much Charlie tried, he couldn't stop himself. He sat on the edge of the bed with a pocket knife in his hand. Tears trickled down his face as he made the cut. He let the blade sink into his skin and then dragged it down.
Charlie threw his head back, his eyes were tightly shut. He gritted his teeth as the pain grounded him. Blood tricked down and Charlie breathed out deeply. He couldn't bring himself to move. His shirt got stained with blood. Charlie tried to close the cut with his hand and the blood smeared further.
He stood up and walked into the bathroom. He got tissues to clean the blood and smeared antiseptic cream on the cut. He atinged like hell. He tossed the bloody shirt in the laundry. Suddenly he felt drained.
Charlie lied down again. He pulled the blanket upto his shoulders and clutched it. Sleep started to overtake him. But he still couldn't escape the feeling that something terrible was going to happen.
When Steve came home, the place was dead silent. He was almost convinced Charlie had gone back to his cabin. Until, of course, he found Charlie sound asleep on his bed. He sighed contently. Steve walked up to the bed sat down in the edge. He gently brushed Charlie's hair back.
Charlie snapped open his eyes and jumped up. He stopped himself, realizing it was Steve and slumped back.
"Sorry." He muttered.
"No I'm sorry. Didn't mean to startle you."
Steve bent down and kissed Charlie's forehead.
"Aren't you hungry? Come on I'll make something." Steve suggested, his thumb gracing Charlie's cheekbone.
"No... I... I just want to sleep." Charlie said hesitantly.
"Okay." Steve frowned, barely hidden concern on his face. He pulled the blanket tightly around Charlie and ran his fingers through his hair.
"Do you want me to cuddle you?" Steve asked.
"Yes, please."
Steve didn't need to hear anymore. He slipped into bed with Charlie. Charlie snuggled into Steve's warmth. First time all evening, he felt at home.