Songfic!!!! The song is Salish by McCafferty (big feels *sobbing*) I know the lyrics won't exactly match what's happening but when do they ever? Like the line "My mothers sick and dangerous, she's manic and broke my brother's bones again" it'll be about Garte abusing Zane instead of like Zianna abusing Garroth or Vylad if that makes sense. Also in this Gene is a junior in college and Zanes a senior in high school. THEY/THEM ZANEEEE. Also Gene's not the best partner and there is hints of Zanvis
TW: Abuse, Child Abuse, Arguing, Breakups, Alcohol, Drugs, Alcohol abuse, Blood, Drinking blood, Self harm
You drove off your college campus
Zane got a text from their boyfriend Gene during lunch.
Gene: meet me at the front gate in 10
Zane: aren't you supposed to be in school?
Gene: meh nobody will miss me for half a day
Zane: fine
So you could get high in your mother's Tesla
Gene was waiting in the black Tesla outside when Zane managed to sneak past security. He shared his car with his mom since he lives at home still.
"Hey baby, brought the good stuff," Gene greeted when Zane climbed in the passenger seat. He shook a plastic baggy of joints in front of their face.
Lemme ask Alexa how to fix my partner so their not disgusting
"I blame you for my addiction," Zane sighed as they took the baggy, pulling out a joint and lighter as Gene pulled into an empty parking lot of some restaurant.
"Yeah, but it's nice isn't it?" Gene says, taking a hit after Zane.
"As gross as it is, yeah, it's nice," Zane agreed.
So they never hurt me maybe you could love me
Zane flinched when Gene snatched the joint from them. Gene cackled at their reaction. Zane looked down in shame.
I was playing dress up, beautiful and flirty
Zane thought back to the night before last when they were hanging out with Travis, they were having a great time just goofing around. They went through Travis' older sister's closet since she wasn't home, trying on clothes as a joke.
Put my favorite dress on, pocket full of posies
Zane tried on a yellow sundress with pretty pink flowers along the hems and waistline.
"Dang, dude that actually looks really good on you!" Travis clapped.
"You think?" Zane chuckled.
"Yeah! You look gorgeous!" Travis exclaimed. Zane blushed, Gene had never said they looked good.
Ashes on her tombstone
They put out the end of the joint on Gene's tombstone-shaped ash tray. Gene already pulling out another from the bag.
Dancing in the basement drunk with all the lights off
They thought back to last night, at Gene's place. They were in Gene's room in the basement, drinking alcohol Gene had probably stolen from the corner store. Heavy metal music blasting from Gene's Bluetooth speaker.
"Dance with me," Gene demanded, grabbing Zanes arm.
"I... no thanks," Zane dismissed.
"What's wrong baby? Scared?" Gene taunted, yanking Zane up by the arm as they let out a yelp.
I hate this
They hate being with him. They despise Gene, but Gene wouldn't let them break up with him. They had tried. It didn't go well.
My dad's working at the grocery
Garte owned a lot of the town, one of the most powerful men in the state. He seemed so kind to everyone. Everyone but his family.
He was always pissed off
Everytime he comes home from work, if he even does, he's drunk and immediately yells at his wife. He'll beat on her and his two youngest sons, whilst comparing them to his golden child, who tries to pry him off of his brothers.
Never said he loved me unless I fucking earned that
They remember everytime they brought home a report card, a hug from mom and a slap and shouting from dad. Garroth always defended them, Garte would never hurt his golden son, always just huffing and storming off.
Zane remembers one time their dad said 'I love you,' they were 8 and had made the winning shot in a soccer game. They didnt even like soccer, only playing it to please their father.
Told me to learn patience
"Zuzu you must be patient with him, your father is a very busy man," Zianna would always say. Garroth would shake his head at her everytime.
My mother's sick and dangerous
"Zane, don't listen to mom, shes delusional and blind. Stay away from dad, ok? He's not right in the head, he's dangerous," Garroth had taught them since they were little.
Shes manic and broke my brother's bones again
"Mom!" They remembered Garroth screaming, running from beside his father.
"Yes, GarGar?" Zianna had replied.
"Dads gone mad! You have to come, please!" Garroth pleaded.
"What are you talking about?" Zianna had laughed.
"He slammed Zanes arm in the door really hard and won't let Zane back inside! It sounded like a bone cracked!" Garroth cried. Zianna quickly ran up to her husband, starting a screaming match. Garroth snuck outside and walked with Zane to the neighbors who took them to the hospital.
Could we go and see a movie?
"Gene, you wanna go see a movie?" Zane asked.
"Pfft with you? No," Gene snickered.
Made me play a chess match just to prove if I lose we won't go
"We could play a game? Maybe chess?" Zane suggested.
"What are you? A nerd? Don't say anything like that again," Gene shouted, gripped Zanes jaw tightly.
Felt bad but he never told me
Gene pulled Zane into a harsh kiss. It was painful, Gene biting into their lips until they bled.
I think I could've helped him I think he would've loved me more if I did
Gene had a problem. Like an actual problem. He loved the taste of blood, anyone's blood, but he said that Zanes was his favorite. That's why when he found them cutting in the bathroom he cheered them on before licking the wounds. Zane should have helped him get professional help, but they didn't.
And I was sick in the head, man but you were sick too
Zane knows they struggle with mental illness, depression, anxiety, some undiagnosed stuff. At least they weren't as bad as Gene. That's what they kept telling themself.
The only difference is I can't drown my problems in alcohol like you
Zane didn't drink. Not unless Gene forced them to, which he did a lot. Maybe that was the difference. Gene was worse because the alcohol worsened his mental state.
I'm at the bottom of that bottle and your brother is too
Everytime Gene finished a bottle he would call up Zane for sex. That or he would go beat on Dante if Zane didn't answer.
And you're the end of the joint that I smoke in my room
Whenever Gene and Zane get high at Zanes house, it always ends in fights. Fights between them, between Garte and Zane, Garroth and Garte, Zianna and Garte, it just never ended well.
And you're the things in my past that I want to forget
Zane had finally left him with help from Travis and Garroth. It had taken so long, but they were free. Zane just wanted to completely forget him now.
And the thoughts in my head that cause pain in my chest
Zane thinks about him a lot. In some sick, twisted way, they miss Gene. It hurts their heart, missing someone who treats them like that.
And I get sick when I think about them both in bed
Gene had almost immediately gone and started dating Sasha and Zenix. He was so sweet to them. Why didn't he treat Zane like that? They had heard he stopped drinking and smoking so much too. Zane wonders if they were the problem.
But it gets easier with time, and with love, said a friend
"Dude you'll get over him, it just takes time, and love," Travis said as the two lay on his bed together.
"I dont even think I know what love feels like anymore," Zane sighed. Images of their parents relationship flash through their head, surely that isn't love.
"Maybe I could show you what love feels like," Travis smiled, looking at Zane as blush dusted his face.
And I drown in a ship that sank
"Maybe you could," Zane blushed.
"We will get through everything together, I promise that, I will never be like Gene to you," Travis promised. Zane felt something, something they hadn't felt any time they were with Gene. They would go down with Travis.
From my own words
"I love you, Travis, more than I loved anyone ever before. I love you so much that it scares me," Zane blushes.
How do I become not who they say I am
"How do I become who I want to be?" Zane asks late one night, cuddling with Travis.
"What do you mean, darling?" Travis asked.
"How do I stop trying to be what people want? How do I stop trying to be another Garroth just to please my dad?" Zane explained.
"Well, you just gotta think, what do you want to be, and then strive to be that. I'll be with you every step of the way," Travis smiled.
There's a change here, in the air here
Gene never would've said anything like that to Zane. This was new, this was different. But it was a good different.
Can you hold me close?
"Can you hold me, please?" Zane asked, Travis complied, holding Zane tightly around the waist.
Will you hurt me too? Will you love me true?
"You wouldn't hurt me right? The way he did?" Zane whimpered.
"Of course not, darling, I love you, I truly love you," Travis said gently.
(The last part of the lyrics repeat two more time but idk what to do with that so ima just end it here lol)