I HAVE TO WORK TOMORROW MORNING BUT COULDN'T STOP WRITING OR THE IDEA WOULD BE GONE SO HERE YOU ARE, now I need to sleep. Seriously.
UNEDITED. probably will check later in the week. I wanted this to be a New Years gift to all of you, but I'm slow at writing and couldn't get it done before the clock hit 12:00, so yeah.
Love you all!
(Totally wasn't crying when writing this)
4.4k words
· · ─────── · · ─────── · ·
Flying.
There truly was nothing else that could compare to the feeling of flying, at least for Neteyam. Every time he flew, each time he went out to hunt with Sìlpey, his ikran, the thrill of it was unbelievable. There, in the clear skies, he felt free. He could be whoever he was, he could act silly, forget manners. He could forget the pressure to be perfect and just let himself be.
He could remember his Iknimaya ritual vividly, just as the joy of making his parents, especially his father, proud.
Sìlpey: Na'vi word for hope.
He knew since their first flight together that he could rely on Sìlpey no matter what. Their bond was welcoming and freeing. Just like the first rays of sunshine, refreshing in a way he could not explain.
It felt right. Sìlpey was his safe place.
His mother would often tell him stories about her first ikran, Seze, and Neteyam could see the nostalgic air that filled her eyes whenever she did so.
"Don't you miss her, mom?" Neteyam once asked, to which Neytiri just smiled at him.
"I may, but all energy is borrowed and there will come a time when we must give it back."
Neteyam felt his chest tighten at the thought of a time when he must part ways with Sìlpey.
Despite how much he loved flying, this journey had certainly been tedious and excruciating since it left a lot of time for his mind to wander in his troublesome thoughts and wistful wishes of coming back home. Of being in the forest, hunting from the sky and on the land.
His mind kept wandering places he didn't wish to recall. Thoughts about home, family, and friends.
Thoughts of running away.
Thoughts of his father being stripped away from his Olo'eyktan title, of him being stabbed in the chest for the completion of the ceremony.
His father's symbolic death felt more like a true death.
Thoughts of his mother's face when his father had told her they had to elope, to seek refugee far away from home.
Mother, who had fought so much yet couldn't be left with a moment of peace. It seemed that life would only permit rests in certain loops of time, for the storm must come raging in once again every once in a while.
He remembered the way Lo'ak had looked at him when their father announced the news.
Incredulous, furious, desperate.
Disappointed.
When those words came out of his father, Neteyam's world crumbled, leaving in him a feeling of sorrow and loss so great he was unsure how to react. However, as expected of him, the perfect son of Toruk Makto, per his parents' teachings and responsibilities he knew to bear, Neteyam complied. Neteyam agreed to his parent's wishes and orders without a single complaint or argument on his part.
He had a role to fulfill after all. An example to give.
He knew they had to do this, for the risks were too many to help it. He knew his father was trying to keep them safe.
But why did it feel so wrong?
Why couldn't he find peace in following such instructions, in going along with his father's plan? Who could completely be alright with leaving everything they knew, they are, and turning over to a new leaf? Start a new beginning?
And on a completely different environment: The reef.
He understood completely what his father thought. The sea clans were a whole other world aside from the forest, with thousands of islands and so much unknown territory it became the safest place to disappear without leaving a trace of anything behind.
It's just there were too many memories attached to the Omaticaya clan. With his forest, in which he did his first hunt, where his brother and sisters had been born. Where they had buried their ancestors under sacred grounds. Where his father would teach him by the lake how to hunt fish. Where Kiri and Lo'ak would fight and annoy his father until he had to shut them up. Where his mother would carefully teach him the ways of the hunt, the sacred places, and customs.
Where his mother had made the first bead for his birth.
Neteyam felt his chest heavy at such a thought.
Leaving behind his home and everything he ever knew, for instance, was one thing he never thought would be asked of him to do. Yet, what hurts the most was knowing his father was right, to a certain extent. They will not stop coming for them until they were dead—until his father was dead, he knew that much. Staying meant the loss of many lives in his clan, along with those of his brother and sisters.
Taking a quick glance over his father's ikran, Neteyam wondered if he'll ever get to see him fight along the great Toruk like the tales and myths told by the na'vi whispered. The tales of how he, a mighty warrior sent from the sky turned the tables around as he proudly united the na'vi clans along with Toruk and destroyed the enemies.
A part of him wished they had stayed instead, that they could've fought bravely. That his father would once again call for Toruk and they would end this horrible war.
A part of him wished foolishly, that he could ride Sìlpey by his side and aid him in war. To fight by his father's side. By the side of Toruk Makto, defending his home. He was a warrior— he was supposed to fight, not run away.
Neteyam was used to the ways of the forest, but now he couldn't go back.
No matter how much he missed it.
"Hey— look at that!" Lo'ak interrupted his brother's thoughts, pointing at the beginning of the Metkayina seawall terrace, decorated with varying shades of blues and greens. There were multiple pools of water, along with na'vi that immediately jumped underwater as the shadows of multiple ikrans approached their territory.
Oddly enough, not much talk had taken place during the journey, and for Lo'ak to be kept quiet this much meant it had affected him greatly. Neteyam had to snap out of it, for he wasn't the only one suffering. He had brothers and sisters to take care of and to look after.
"Yeah, pretty cool huh?" Neteyam smirked at his little brother. "Why the long face little brother, tired already?"
"As if!" Lo'ak grinned and immediately lifted a middle finger toward him, which made Neteyam chuckle in response.
He loved them, even if they got him in trouble all the time and were a damn headache, they always managed to lift him up.
· · ─────── · · ─────── · ·
The loud roaring of ikran's nearing the Metkayina village had everyone on edge. The children bathing in the water ran to the land, and those who were far in it swam to the village. The na'vi on the land neared the seashore, walking underneath large shadows of at least four to five ikrans.
Ao'nung was no exception, for when he saw the ikrans landing at the seashore he hurriedly made his way through the crowd— of course with Rotxo trailing behind him.
"Hey! What's going on?" Rotxo asked as he rushed behind his friend. "Did you hear anything from your parents?"
"I'm not sure. Not that I remember," Ao'nung frowned. Truly, he didn't hear his father nor his mother talk about a family from a foreign clan visiting them, but he was Tonowari's son, wasn't he?
Smirking, Ao'nung made his steps steadier, looking forwards to seeing which clan was the one who dared to stop in Metkayina grounds uninvited. There, by the seashore's end, he could see a family of ikrans and forest na'vi riders land on the sand. There were five— No, six members. What were foreigners doing on the Metkayina clan's grounds?
The ikran's landed on the shore and it was just then that Ao'nung managed to catch a glimpse of a young, dark blue-skinned rider with braids flowing along in the wind as he landed on the sand, dismounting his ikran with such elegance of a strong warrior.
Neteyam, tired as he was, dismounted Sìlpey and felt his feet land on the sand. Taking a quick glance beside him he saw his brother Lo'ak doing the same. His tail flickered nervously and it just took Neteyam to turn around for him to understand why the anxiety of his brother.
They certainly did not fit in here. Everyone was looking at them as strangers, as foreigners, invaders. Neteyam feeling the many eyes pinned on him and his family, stood properly on his ground as he made his way by his brother's side.
He was already used to being under the scrutinizing eye of everyone since being "Toruk Makto's eldest son" came with it. So, no matter if tired or anxious he had to be at peak behavior and manners, especially now that they had arrived at a foreign clan asking for Uturu.
Jake Sully walked first, opening his arms as a gesture to show no ill intentions. Neytiri walked with Tuk by her hand and Kiri behind her. Neteyam walked by the outer side of his brother, Lo'ak, just at the same time that the crowd parted and a young Metkayina na'vi stepped forwards.
The first thing Neteyam saw was a pair of light aqua eyes. His ears twitched in response. His tail flickered with something he couldn't quite pinpoint.
There was something magnetic in those eyes.
Ao'nung felt it too, as he couldn't stop but feel slightly mesmerized by those golden eyes with specks of green.
None of them spoke nor did they break eye contact. Even if they did want to break eye contact, they simply couldn't. It felt as if something else was pulling them to follow the eyes of the other and not even blink so that they wouldn't lose any moment.
Neteyam lifted two of his fingers by his forehead spreading them before gracefully pulling them back down, gesturing towards the na'vi who had captured his attention and dared not to throw it away. The other didn't reply, instead slowly walked toward him.
The sunlight reflected against his skin, bearing the colors of the crystal clear oceans. Skin marked with light aquatic shades of blue hues. He was tall— just smaller than him by a few centimeters, with eyes that seemed to reflect the colors of the shore.
Imposing, he must say.
Physique as he'd never seen before in any na'vi he'd met. Strong arms and muscular, big legs. Thick hands instead of lean ones. Braids that did half of his hair in an updo with the lower part of his short curly strands lose.
Wide chest and shoulders, with fishlike endings on his arms and what appeared to be fins decorating his elbows. A somewhat narrow waist proportional to his features and his tail was wide and strong, unlike the thin one he had. From his chest hung a sharp tooth in a beaded necklace.
Neteyam felt that necklace suited him, for he gave off the air of a sharp personality.
Kiri, with bright eyes and smart as she was —always observing— managed to catch and feel something as she side-eyed her brother and the na'vi boy. She rolled her eyes playfully, before turning her attention elsewhere.
Ao'nung was finally standing before the foreigner and in all honesty, forgot what he was about to do as soon as he caught a glimpse of those eyes. Ao'nung wavered for a second as something stirred inside of him, his ears twitching and his tail slightly flickering before returning the gesture of observing the foreigner carefully.
His skin was darker than the deepest parts of the sea he'd ever seen. Eyes a yellowish green so bright you could almost bet they illuminated the darkest of nights. Lean, but muscular. Tall, but smaller than him. A waist so tiny he could circle it with his hands.
On his throat rested an orangish-red beaded choker. His hair consisted of tiny braids and sporadic beads threaded within them. There was a band hugging his ribs, and a dusty lilac piece of fabric covering his lower part, where his narrow hips rested.
He didn't belong here, that much was certain. He wouldn't even make it as a swimmer.
What was he doing here?
The sea met the land for the first time and none could break away from the other's sight. Ao'nung's eyes followed the foreigner's golden ones as Neteyam's eyes trailed behind those aqua-blue ones, as its owner made his way around him.
For a moment, both could feel it.
There was a spark. The heat of a newborn star, of a new connection. It felt like a magnetic pull, guiding them towards each other, urging them not to dare to speak or break away. It was so small, so fast and tiny that it could almost be nonexistent.
But there it was. Something.
What lasted a mere moment for outsiders felt like ages for those two. They wouldn't spare a second to look away. It was entrancing, the way they were immediately drawn to one another without much sense or thought.
However, Ao'nung wouldn't comply with such an impulse; For when his eyes landed on the foreigner's tail, a snicker left his lips and the foreigner's tail flickered. Ao'nung's hands moved instinctively, with the need to touch such a delicate tail.
The foreigner's ears twitched.
"Look at that!" Rotxo snapped, pointing at the foreigner's tail and Ao'nung pulled his hand back. Neteyam turned to look at the other na'vi with curly hair.
"Why are these so tiny? These look just like a child's! How could they even swim with one of these?!" Rotxo kept on. Ao'nung sneered, and the crowd laughed making Neteyam snap out of his unexpected trance just in time to see his brother beside him entranced with another Metkayina na'vi.
She walked out of the water gracefully, and for Lo'ak's eyes, there was no one more extraordinarily beautiful than her.
Neteyam smiled. His brother had fallen.
Soon enough Tonowari, the Olo'eyktan of the Metkayina clan which Neteyam recognized from one of the many meetings of the clans he had to assist in order to learn how to be a proper leader for his people. Which, he realized just now, might never come, for his father was Olo'eyktan of the Omaticaya no more.
· · ─────── · · ─────── · ·
Ao'nung didn't know what he was expecting out of this morning, but being a babysitter to two useless na'vi of the forest who couldn't, for the sake of Eywa, hold their breaths for a minute certainly wasn't it.
'What's with them?' He gestured underwater.
'They don't know how to swim underwater,' Rotxo replied before Tsireya intervened, getting between them both and quickly gesturing with a slight frown on her forehead.
'Stop. They are learning.'
Ao'nung rolled his eyes.
They truly were like newborn babies.
Tsireya took the lead and swam upwards, Rotxo and Ao'nung following behind her. Ao'nung was equally annoyed and amused at the whole situation. As he reached the surface, he could see Neteyam, Lo'ak and Tuk gasping for air. Strangely enough, the first had a lazy smile on.
"Are you okay?" Tsireya gently asked.
"You're swimming too fast!" Tuk pouted. "Wait for us!"
"Just breathe—"
"You really don't know how to swim," Ao'nung's voice interrupted with a condescending tone. He smirked, briefly setting his eyes on Neteyam before an idea popped up in his mind. Oh, this would be so damn fun.
With a cocky grin, Ao'nung kept pressing.
"You might know how to jump from trees but—"
Ao'nung stopped abruptly.
Tsireya smacked the back of his head.
He turned to look at his sister, disbelief showing on his expression. Had his sister smacked him over foreign na'vi?! What about loyalty!
"Hey," Neteyam said cheekily. "It's just that we can't understand your sign language." He explained. Ao'nung listened carefully, studying him. Even now he had a certain charm about him, speaking with tiny smiles in between and gesturing a lot with his hands. His ears twitched from time to time and his golden eyes seemed to be even more vivid due to the blazing sun.
Lo'ak, whose eyes were the only thing over the surface, secretly observed Ao'nung. He was keen on following his older brother's eyes.
Lo'ak didn't like it.
"—We don't know what you're saying," Neteyam concluded, and Tsireya nodded.
Ao'nung smiled mockingly, Lo'ak frowned and Neteyam just smiled, oblivious.
"Uh, have you seen Kiri?" Rotxo snapped, making everyone turn at him. "Where's Kiri??" He insisted.
"Kiri?" Lo'ak finally got over the surface. Neteyam's smile faded quickly, and were a beautiful carefree smile was, a serious demeanor took over.
Ao'nung noticed.
Ao'nung noticed the way Neteyam quickly shifted from being another na'vi his age having fun and learning how to swim to the responsible and worried older brother, of what was exactly expected of the eldest son.
Ao'nung noticed how Neteyam quickly went underwater, despite barely holding his breath for a few minutes underwater to search for his sister. Lo'ak trailed behind as well.
He wondered how much pressure must be being the eldest son of Toruk Makto. A title that held tremendous weight for na'vi's, no matter the clan or the time. Perhaps that's the reason he had such charm and strong presence, giving the air of a leader you could trust and rely on.
He sighed, before going underwater, behind Neteyam.
If this na'vi kid got lost or drowned, his mother wouldn't let him hear the end of it.
It definitely didn't have to do with the strange pull he felt towards the forest na'vi.
· · ─────── · · ─────── · ·
Neteyam carried Tuk in his arms as she hid her head on his neck. It took some time to find Kiri, but once they did things continued rather smoothly. Ao'nung noticed him, and watching him tenderly and gently care for his little sister stirred something upon him he'd rather not think too much about, as he began the lesson.
Right now, at the center of the group was Ao'nung, son of Tonowari. As he spoke, Neteyam followed his every move. He spoke confidently, firmly. Neteyam knew he was proud and somewhat of a show-off for the way he stood and talked, but it suited him.
He studied his face as he called for the creatures. His eyes were strong and focused, his voice smooth as the water currents, soothing. His arms and back were wide; His hands and fingers thick and strong. His steps were steady as he turned away.
Soon enough some animals answered his calls, quickly surrounding him.
"These," He began, gesturing towards the creatures. "Are ilu's. If you want to stay here, you need to ride one of these."
His confidence attracted the attention of the whole group.
"Now, should we start?" Ao'nung finished and sure enough, his eyes landed on those of Neteyam's. As if a dare, Neteyam didn't look away.
Lo'ak noticed.
He still didn't like it, but as soon as Tsireya called for him he cared not, and quickly got away with her.
"Hey, would you mind caring for Tuk for a little while?" Neteyam asked to Kiri, to which she sighed and opened her arms. No need to ask for more, he gently carried Tuk into Kiri's arms, giving her a kiss on her forehead as he let go of her and smiled warmly at Kiri. "Thank you."
"No problem, now go," Kiri said without much emotion readable in her tone, but Neteyam knew she meant it with care.
Ao'nung observed the whole interaction with intrigue. The forest na'vi was warmer than he thought he'd be. Probably the nicest out of all the damn siblings.
"So you're ready or what?" Ao'nung asked, and Neteyam smiled widely.
"Damn right I am," He replied with high spirits, making Ao'nung chuckle but nonetheless he walked him over to the ilu, and he followed. There were so many mixed feelings overrunning Neteyam's mind right now but mostly excitement. It had been a while before he felt this excited about trying something new— something different.
Anxiety as well, for he didn't wish to disappoint— He was always expected to deliver perfection. Nearing one of the ilu's, she immediately jumped over the water playfully circling around Ao'nung and Neteyam.
They both smiled at her.
"She's beautiful," Neteyam confessed as the ilu nuzzled her face with his, and Ao'nung couldn't stop staring.
"Yeah," Ao'nung replied, slightly bewildered. "She is."
· · ─────── · · ─────── · ·
Ao'nung woke abruptly, gasping loudly for air as he tried to recover any sense of it all. He took a quick glance around, still confused and disoriented.
Teya—
He was with Teya just moments ago—
"Brother?" Tsireya gently asked, and Ao'nung stiffened, his eyes finally making something out of the blurred darkness he was in.
The sound of waves, the lights of the sea, the stars in the sky. The intricate Marui pod.
He was home. He never moved away.
He didn't meet Teya, didn't he?
"It's okay brother," Tsireya said gently, as she silently took a place beside him on his mat. Taking a hold of his head, she gently laid it on her shoulder, as her arms circled his brother's body. "It's alright. I am here."
"Tsi, I saw him." Ao'nung weakly replied. His mind was too clouded for him to understand what was going on. "I saw him— I met him again and I—"
"It is alright. Breathe, Nu. I am not going anywhere, and we can talk about this as soon as you feel calmer, alright?"
Nodding, Ao'nung relaxed in his sister's hold, trying to reminisce the breathing techniques for calming the spirit. He tried to take his mind away from that smile that plagued his mind by watching the tranquil sea by his sister's side, but it wasn't working.
What once gave him peace had become a memoir, a massive thread with memory beads of long days and nights laughing. Of days spent training.
Of nights spent connecting.
Of moments of comfortable silence and disruptive arguing.
Of loss and grief.
The sea was now many, many memory beads containing Teya.
· · ─────── · · ─────── · ·
Lo'ak wasn't able to sleep at all.
Tuk kept on crying, and his parents had fallen asleep comforting her.
Lo'ak couldn't feel anything else but a deep, vast ocean of loneliness and sorrow.
Of feeling lost and confused.
Of feeling alone.
Lo'ak couldn't stand it anymore, and he did the only reasonable thing to do in the middle of the night: He ran away.
He ran, smoothly and quickly. No one would notice anyway. The only one who had noticed was Neteyam, and he wasn't here anymore.
Neteyam, who would notice any slight discrepancy or shift in his mood. The brother he didn't appreciate as he should've.
Yeah, he would've noticed, if not because he made a slight noise, then it was because he as well was going somewhere else.
With someone else.
Yeah, Lo'ak had caught Neteyam going around in the middle of the night as well, but it wasn't his business— until he knew who he was spending his time with and couldn't help but feel a tinge of jealousy. Not that he would've admitted it out loud.
"This is exactly what I need," Lo'ak murmured as he rode his ilu far away to the limits. Far enough to meet Payakan, who was already waiting for him. Smiling, Lo'ak got off his ilu and pressed his forehead against Payakan's body.
"Hey, brother." He said weakly. "I'm not feeling well tonight. Would you mind if we just rest?"
'It's alright. You can get up.'
That was the only thing Lo'ak needed, and the last words he said for the night as he crawled up to lay over Payakan's head.
That night, Lo'ak cried.
Lo'ak screamed at the vastness of the ocean.
The same ocean that had carried away his brother.
The ocean under which his brother was buried.
Lo'ak cried, and Payakan silently cried with him as well.
The feelings of guilt and remorse.
Lo'ak cried about how his brother had come to save him once again, only to end up putting him in a tough spot once again.
Lo'ak mourned the times his brother had protected him even when his ideas were the worst out of the worst.
Lo'ak grieved that he will never have his brother come up and save him ever again.
· · ─────── · · ─────── · ·
Kiri was done trying to get a peaceful sleep for that night as she walked through the village, calling for her ilu to take her away to the spirit tree. If Lo'ak had gone away to vent, why couldn't she do the same?
She had lost her brother.
She didn't know what to do with such tremendous grief.
There, staring down at the spirit tree she hissed.
She's furious— why has the great-mother taken her brother away? He was always good!
Neteyam always did his best! He had a whole life ahead! He had so many dreams— and now it was taken away in mere seconds.
And oh, she was mad. She was so mad for the way she felt Eywa calling her back to the spot where her brother was buried.
Why was she being called here? to remember her brother's death? Moreover, when she arrived a certain spot, Eywa would stop. Kiri cried— This was too much to bear.
· · ─────── · · ─────── · ·
That night, three na'vi mourned the death of a loved one.
That night, despite their connections with Neteyam being different, despite their turmoils and sorrows differed in nature, one collective thought persisted in the three of them.
"Great Mother, just what is it that you wish to tell me?"
· · ─────── · · ─────── · ·
OKAY BEAR WITH ME! THINGS GET WORSE BEFORE THEY GET BETTER. HAVE PATIENCE AND STICK UP WITH ME FOR A FEW MORE CHAPTERS.
ALSO, HEAR ME OUT:
"Na'vi males are typical pair bonded with females, but male-male and female-female permanent bonds are not uncommon." ACCORDING TO PANDORAPELIA so it's canon.
Me, trying to make my theories make sense about the next Avatar movies and how Neteyam isn't really dead, holding onto my last strands of sanity as I buy tickets to rewatch Avatar 2 for a third time while rewatching Avatar 1 on my laptop so I can focus on the little details and prove them right:
Anyway, I love you all, happy new year! I hope you get whatever you wish for this year and that many blessings come to your life!