!! (gn! reader) !!
Request made by @TheMainManRO
(thank you for requesting, reader<3)
[tw]: mentions of abuse (physical and verbal), panic attacks, and cursing
(IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THESE TOPICS PLEASE DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER. THIS WAS A REQUEST.)
- message brought to you by your friendly neighborhood vani -
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You were the type of person that forgives easily. That was your disadvantage in everything.
No matter what anyone could say to you, or do to you, you would forgive and forget. Or, rather, forgive and never forget. That shit stays for you and beats you up from the inside.
But you also weren't the type to express your feelings freely and seek comfort. Hiding away in the sewers with the Hamato family was your form of comfort. You would never say it out loud, of course, but, nothing would bring joy to your heart like spending time with the brothers.
Why bother dumping your problems on someone else when you can just hide them away like nothing ever happened?
You brought your knees closer to your chest as the tears you tried so hard to keep in fell like a broken dam. A hand quickly came up to your mouth, attempting to block out any whimpers. Force of habit, you guessed.
Maybe your classmate was right—you are pretty stupid.
If it weren't for you getting all anxious in your group presentation, maybe your classmates would praise you. For doing most of the work in the project and getting it done on time, unlike your group mates. In your mind, you thought of this scenario as highly unlikely. All they cared about was earning a high mark in the assignment they didn't even participate in.
You had spent all-nighters with Leo most of the time, worrying that the presentation wouldn't be above and beyond. The two of you were always close to each other and he confessed that he would practically do anything for you. Terrible decision, really, but you could tell he genuinely meant it. You thanked the spirits he was there throughout it all. He would occasionally bring you a refill of coffee—just to your preference, and stay by your side the entire time.
And Leo knew exactly the time you would stress yourself out and reminded you to take breaks, often showering you with soft praises for your progress.
But at this moment, he was nowhere to be found. Leonardo was gone in your time of need.
No one had been home in the Lair, so you immediately went to Leo's bedroom, surrounding yourself with his calming fragrance and soft, oh-so-soft, blankets.
But that wasn't enough.
You felt selfish for wishing for him to be by your side when knowing damn well he's probably fed up with consoling you all the time.
You had a handful of his sheets clutched in your fists as the itchy feeling in your throat rose again.
Leonardo was already concerned enough about you with your parents. His brothers were starting to get anxious as well each time you came over seeking comfort in their home rather than your own.
But it was all pointless really.
It was stupid.
There was a hot flaming sensation that spread through your chest. There was panic in you all around, making your already fallen tears break through faster than before.
There was no reason for you to feel this way. A simple meaningless comment from your classmates (that you didn't even know well enough, mind you) shouldn't have this effect on you. Except, it did. It had.
It reminded you that there was always someone who had higher power than you just because they can kick you around like waste.
Maybe it had taken such an effect on you because you were already familiar with the feeling. But you didn't know what it had felt like coming from someone else.
What the hell were you doing here?
Then, as if he could hear you from miles away, Leo's voice was heard outside of his subway train room, "Honey, I'm home!"
You heard his childish snickers along with a few groans coming from his brothers.
Now, this should've shocked you enough to jump out of his bed and hide. Somewhere, anywhere, just hide.
But you didn't.
You sat there frozen in your spot as you frantically wiped the tears away, tasting your own saltiness.
Distracted by the fact that you felt like you were covering up a crime scene, you didn't notice Leonardo walk in, throwing his katanas in a small corner near the doorway.
"Oh. Hey, (Y/N). Did you call me? I swore I left my phone on...," he dug in his small pouch that was strapped against his waist. He opened his phone screen and checked his recent notifications, to his sweet surprise, he had left his phone on.
"Uh, no. No, I didn't. I was...looking for my hoodie from last week's dinner. Sorry I sorta let myself in." You slowly got up from his bed.
"You mean the one I gave you yesterday? The one you're wearing right now?" He smirked, eyeing you teasingly.
You looked down and you very much had the hoodie on. You wanted to play it off, maybe gaslight him in thinking he never gave it to you. But the dried tears started to come in again, sending you to the ground.
"Hey, hey, hey," Leo immediately rushed by your side, kneeling beside you and supporting your back. "I'm sorry. I'll play along if you want me to."
"It's not that," you said in between sobs, "God, I'm sorry, I didn't wanna—"
"Bother us? Never. There's a reason I keep my phone on during missions. But don't tell Raph that." He smiles. You didn't look up at him.
"Let's get you on the bed, yeah?" You nod and let yourself be guided by his arms. He sat next to you with a hand on your knee. "Is it your parents again? Wanna talk about it?"
You felt his grip tighten slightly. "No, it's, it's stupid."
"So it's your parents." It sounded like a question but came out more like an I told you so kind of comment.
You scoffed and created a small silence before speaking again, "They called me stupid. They dare call me stupid when I was the one to work on the entire thing." Leo perked up. He knew exactly who you were talking about. He made a scrunched-up face.
Those jerks.
"It wasn't my fault we got that grade, you know? If I had a bit of help, I'm positive we would've gotten better. But I tried. I gave the best that I could!" He let you rant on. Usually, he'd be the one telling you this, but he's proud you were the one defending yourself.
So all he could do was listen and rub your back while you cried.
"I made an effort of getting out of my house and work on it. I managed to get a few days away from that hell hole only to be called...stupid," you exhaled and slouched forward to bring your face into your palms. "They got mad at me, Leo."
"Your parents?"
You hummed. "I gave them the excuse that I was out late after school when in reality I was here with you guys. Remember the time we accidentally slept on the kitchen table?"
He nods. It was an accident. A sudden fear rose to Leo's chest. "(Y/N), what did they do to you?"
"Don't worry about it. Point is, I actually do feel stupid."
"(Y/N), what happened?" Leo asked again, this time more sternly.
You brought your face up to face him. And there it was, a bright red scratch right down your right cheek. It was thin but long.
"They didn't mean it. I mean, they apologized for it and I'm sure they didn't mean it!" You looked back down.
"Is that why you got upset when you got called stupid? Because your parents do the same?" Leo's voice was low. You nod. "Goddamnit."
"I told you not to worry about it. You guys have done so much for me already."
"And we can do more! (Y/N), we can get you outta there!" He rose to his feet rapidly. "April already offered her place for you!"
April had offered. Many times.
You kept silent.
Leo sighs again. "Why can't you see that they're hurting you? Trust me when I say I don't like seeing you like this."
"Leo, they apologized. Do you know what that means? It means there's still good in them! There's a reason why they did it! I most likely deserve it too. I should've known better and stayed on curfew."
Leo looks at you like he's stabbing daggers into you with his eyes. They were powerful enough to make you feel it.
"That's where I draw the line. You can't keep defending them if you're coming here all beat up and saying it's fine! I won't have it!"
He huffed. "(Y/N), you deserve a lot of things. But don't look me in the eyes and say you deserve the abuse because you don't. They're not good people. Period."
Your mouth hung open upon hearing his words. Leonardo's words were comforting usually—always soft-spoken and never raising his voice at you because you would just break down in front of him.
But you didn't break down.
It was more like he had built a new foundation for you.
Silence rang around the square room, not even talking was heard from outside. That's when you knew he had been yelling and so have you. "I hate it when you're always right." You mumbled softly, drying your tears.
"You can thank me properly later," he chuckled dryly before returning to his serious tone, "Sorry I yelled."
"Me too."
"I just wanted to make sure you knew that I would do anything for you. You call, I'll be there. Don't forget it, 'kay?" He held out the smaller finger at the end of his three-fingered palm toward you.
"Don't worry, Leo. I heard you loud and clear." You linked your finger to him, gripping it like he would fly away and never come back.
But he had already promised you he wouldn't.
-
I'm hoping to publish some of my work on AO3 and do some fics outside of the tmnt fandom (while of course still do fics for the fandom duh!) Would you support if so? requests are still open if anyone is interested!!
-vani
[Original Request Comment]
okay its 2:15 am and i got an angst idea.
So yn is having a breakdown from a trigger that reminded them of their abusive parents), leo overhears us and immediately concerned comes helps us get through it. We tell him everything BUT eventually we start defending our parents) and hes trying to snap us out of it and were just sobbing going "no there was good in X! they did it for a reason they cant be bad they're a good person!" you get the idea sorry if the idea is hard to understand my brain is completely fried today