three knocks were heard on the front door forcing me out of the chair i was currently in. i sighed and walked to the door opening it.
"are you okay?" i rolled my eyes.
"why are you just now asking this? if she wanted to kill me, i would of been dead by now." i closed the door in his face.
i was irritated, and my mood was low. it made me wonder if i was on my period so i went to check.
thankfully i wasn't. i'd cry if i was, i had the worse cramps on planet earth. pure torture, all because this bitch eve.
i glanced at my phone and it was one in the after noon.
i always woke up at five in the morning but today i woke up at 12pm. oddly late for me. the moment i woke up i was displeased.
with everything and everyone. and it was crazy but because yesterday i was just really out here living though.
it's crazy how fast your mental health could change. i was just not feeling good today, it reminded me of the many days of my past depression.
i didn't feel like doing anything but i had to because today was the day i had to give my tapes to my boss.
and about that.. there was too many inappropriate things said on there. i needed to edit them so i transferred them into my computer.
the only problem was that i couldn't send them to my boss so i'd have to drive out there to him, unless i got ezra to come.
but that meant he'd have to take four trips and i didn't want to do that to him.
three more knocks were heard on the frame of the door and i glanced up to be met with billie. i ignored her presence and began editing the tapes.
"what are you doing?" she walked into the office.
"what does it look like i'm doing?"
"the fuck is wrong with you?" she chuckled and pressed her eyebrows together.
"nothing." i stated simply. i felt like if no one, she would be the one that could relate to and comfort me about my mental health.
she was a killer and i knew that came with many arguments with herself. arguments and regret.
"mileena."
"what is it with you and this weird fascination you have with using my name?"
"fuck else should i call you? bitch, whore, slut?" i wouldn't protest those names but i also wouldn't tell her i was into that.
why was i this way? was it because i was hungry? bored? because i hadn't taken my pills?
i internally pouted at my self. i was a mess and couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. i hated it.
i wanted this feeling to go away.
walking past her, i went into my room in search of my pills. once i found them i threw my head back and swallowed.
a bit of instant relief washed over me.
"you take pills?" i turned around to see billie watching me. stalker.
"why were following me?" i took a sip of water. "sí, admito que te estuve observando ayer, pero no tienes el privilegio de seguirme y observarme."
translation: yes, i admit that i was watching you yesterday, but you don't have the privilege of following and watching me.
"what?" she questioned in confusion. if she wanted to understand maybe she should learn because i wasn't translating to her.
"nothing." i took one more sip before pushing past her.
"i don't give a fuck what kinda mood you're in." she grabbed my arm. "don't walk away from me."
i ignored her and continued walking, but her grip on my arm tightened stopping me. i glanced down at it, before looking up at her innocently.
"you're hurting me.. and i could of sworn you said you wouldn't."
the guards outside were useless and there was no doubt in my mind that they would react slow but i could care less.
i felt angry, irritated and depressed. the three worst of all. and if she killed me at least those feelings would disappear.
she let go of the tight grip on my arm, "i wouldn't be surprised if it was my neck instead." i remarked, attitude laced in my voice.
"you should know by now that i don't hesitate to kill. if i wanted to kill you, your guts would already be spilled on the floor." she chuckled as she walked closer.
"fix your attitude. i don't need any of this shit right now." she let go of my arm and sighed before walking away.
"you should be the last person to call someone out on their actions. where was this energy when you were killing people? hm?"
i waited as i stared at her back. "thought so."
"mileena, none of this shit was by choice." she turned around. "you don't understand the shit i've been through, the sacrifices i had to make. all over a stupid decision made by young oblivious me. you won't understand."
"make me understand."
"why are you not afraid of me?" she changed the subject as she walked closer.
"i am to an extent." i slowly backed away until my back hit the wall.
"you treat me as if i'm an average person. if any one were to speak to me in the way you just did, their head would be on a stake."
"so why isn't it?" i tilted my head and tensed as her body came closer.
"you're so clueless but you'll know everything soon. really soon." she said the last part a bit slower.
"make me understand, billie." her eyes bore into mine, reading me for any sign of fear or deception. she wanted to know if she could trust me.
her eyes moved down to my necklace and she took it in her hand. caressing the angel with her thumb.
"for an angel, you have a really bad temper." she dropped my necklace and rizzed me with her fingers as she walked away.
i could do nothing but follow without another word spoken. "sit down." she stated firmly as we entered her room.
"what are we doing?"
"you want answers right? i'll give them to you. and once i'm finished you can ask me anything, alright?"
"anything?"
"anything." she reassured. i wasn't sure what she was going to tell me but i was intrigued. i laid down in her bed putting the covers over me.
maybe her story would make me feel better though i felt like child getting read a bed time story to.
"start." and with that she complied.
october 31 2010
"trick or treat!" the small girl yelled joyfully. with bags full of candy they strutted to each house with smile on their face.
"come on, next house." billies mother urged. they listened running to the next house as fast as they could.
"i bet i can get more candy then you before the nights over." drew challenged billie.
it was never like billie to back out of a challenge. "you've already lost." she responded before jogging to the front steps of a house.
"treat or treat." she said innocently. "every candy you donate goes to the children's hospital. and you know, some of them don't have legs so they can't trick or treat." she whispered.
the man squatted in front of the little girl and gave her four handfuls of candy. "i hope this helps the leg less children." he chuckled before rising.
"how'd you do that?" drew asked as she watched billie walk over to her.
she sat her bags down, "i used my powers." she began shaking her jazz hands before mocking the sounds of a ghost.
"liar." drew hit billies arm.
"okay little ones, it's time to go back home. you two can barely carry the bags in your hand, let's go."
the two girls were disappointed. this was their favorite holiday and in their mind going home would mean it'd be over.
"mom, can we go to the park first? please?"
"no. it's getting dark and cold. now let's go." she turned around leading the way to their house.
the two girls followed behind her, one in the mix of planning something while the other one had sadness over her features.
"drew." she glanced at billie. "don't be sad. we can still go to the park." she stopped walking.
"but your mom said.."
"who cares what she said. we'll be quick. come on." she began walking towards the park awaiting for drew to follow.
"i don't know.." she looked towards billie mom, who was oblivious to the status of her child. her face dug inside her phone.
drew groaned in indecision, "ugh fine." she ran up to billie. "you owe me."
"ill pay you back with candy, now come on." billie grabbed drew's wrist with her free hand.
she was in the halloween spirit. she stared in awe at all the halloween costumes. some were scarier then others.
this was the one day of the year where you could be anything, anyone and she wasn't going to let that go to waste.
they stumbled upon the park, a smile crossing their face. it was indeed dark, the only light being from the moon.
"billie, come push me." she laughed in joy before running over to the swings, assisting drew in height.
"higher!" billie was pushing as hard as she could but even then she gave a little more upmth.
"feels like i'm flying."
"because you are." billie smiled as she watched her best friend in awe. oh how she'd remember this night forever.
present
"aww how heart warming." i poked my lips out. so adorable, i just didn't see this story going anywhere.
"so.. i have work to do. and i think i should go finish it." i rose before billie shot me glare. yes, it was intimidating and yes i laid back down.
"let me finish."
october 31 2010
"drew, you have to swing your legs in melody if you wanna keep going without people pushing you every two seconds." she directed, her hands on her hips
"like this?"
"no," billie laughed, and turned her head towards a light. a light that caught her attention, and she knew it wasn't there before.
her laughing dropped before turning towards it. "drew." she called in a daze. "do you see that?"
"see what?"
"the light."
"what are you talking about billie." drew giggled. billie kept quiet and slowly walked towards the light.
she stood before it and reached her hand inside it. she was astonished by it, asking her self how it was right there.
there was no flashlight or phone or projector. it was only the moon so where was the light coming from.
once she pulled her hand from the light it dispersed, and disappeared. she was more then confused.
"billie." drew placed her hand on her shoulder startling her. "what light were you talking about?"
billie shook her head, an awkward smile on her face as she looked at her best friend. "nevermind." she reassured.
she felt a bit different.
she couldn't figure out what it was. but she knew something changed. "are you okay?"
"mhm." she hummed snapping out of her thoughts. "i'm gonna use the slide i want you to watch me." she smiled, shaking off the eerie feeling.
she walked up the many stairs, waving at drew as she reached the top. "i'm taller then you." she teased.
"look who it is." billie turned around to be met with three girls. three girls she loathed. "the schools freak."
billie hadn't done one wrong thing to them but even so they'd bully her for things she couldn't control.
like the situation between her mother and father, or the situation between her legs.
"no wonder your daddy beats your mom. i would too if i had child as ugly as you." they laughed.
"how do you know about that?"
"the whole school knows. even the parents talk about you. chances are you might just end up in an orphanage."
billie glanced to the side, her face filled with disbelief. she hated her parents, she only asked for one thing.
and it was that they kept their problems inside the house.
"billie! are you okay?" drew screamed from the bottom.
"oh, i see you've collected a lot of candy. girls go take it. and shut her up." she replied referring to drew.
the small girl directed her eyes to billie. "no body cares about you. they only pity you. so how about you do us all a favor and kill yourself." she whispered to the point where only billie could here.
and billie knew she was right. not even her parents loved her. if she was sent to an orphanage she knew she'd get bullied all over again.
she began to hear quiet whispers and that's when she knew she was going insane. they gradually began getting louder forcing her to cover her ears.
"stop." she whispered
"a freak with a mental illness." just as she said those six words billies eyes began flickering and soon she was lost in an unfamiliar empty space.
"where is your mother, little girl." billie asked, her voice oddly calm contrary to merely a second ago. "she's dead, i presume."
"how'd you know?" she stuttered.
"i suppose she was never there to tell you bullying was bad hm? that it could get you killed?" billies eyes pierced into the girls.
"is that a threat?"
"no, silly." she chuckled lowering her head. "i'm just simply stating facts." she glanced up with the most sinister look on her face.
a look that made the girls eyes leak of terror. stretching her arm, billie pushed the girl off the playground.
she screamed as she fell while the other kids gasped. she would have to learn her lesson sooner or later.
so why not sooner.
billie walked down the stairs her hands behind her back. the girl was a heaving mess, her leg and ankle were broken. a horrible sight to see.
"billie what happened!"
"she tripped." billies eyes began to water. "go get help!" she screamed.
everyone left the park leaving billie and the girl alone. she held her head down, giggling at the girl before her.
"if only you weren't so fucking mean." she caressed the girls cheek. "mm, how about we play doctor."
the girl began trying to speak, but only broken grunts surfaced.
"no? you don't wanna play?" billie pouted her lips. "i understand." she nodded sadly. but that was short lived.
billie grabbed the girls leg. "is this where it hurts?" the tried her best to nod. billie grabbed her leg and snapped it out of the socket more then it already was forcing the young girl to scream.
and she wouldn't stop. blood began rushing out of her leg, something billie didn't miss. her finger found its way to the blood.
a trail leaking down as she brought the finger to her face, and in that moment billie, the true billie, left the empty space.
"what is this?" she panicked at the scene before her. her vision took sight of her finger and an enchantment washed over her
she brought her fingers to her lips, hesitantly opening her mouth. she closed her eyes, as the blood touched her tongue.
euphoria.
she moaned at the taste. she had no idea of what she had done, she could only think about the savoring taste on her tongue.
she brought her face down to the girls legs drinking every ounce of blood that oozed from her body.
she couldn't get enough.
the only evident sound was the slow beat of the girls heart. something billie could hear clearly.
her wide eyes stayed on the girls heart as she struggled to breathe. but billie thought it was useless
especially with the act she was about to commit. ripped the girls shirt, eating her way to the girls heart.
it was truly a bloody mess.
"billie!" she heard a distant voice call. "fuck." she whispered. she bit her self pulling flesh off she spit it.
she needed it to look like an animal attack. wiping the blood off her mouth with her sleeve, she began crying.
crying like there was no tomorrow. "help!" she screamed.
present
i sat against her bed frame with my mouth open. my position changed at least five times throughout the story.
she was a fucking canabalist! i wasnt sure if it was a word but i damn sure made it into one.
"canabalist!" i yelled. "i was okay with the pushing her of the playground part but girl you ate her..?"
if i was getting bullied and a bìtch said that to me i'd wanna kill her too. they were small too, so why the fuck was she even bullying in the first place.
i admit, she had it coming but then again billie ate her.
"so the light.. you have multiple personalities?" i had alot of questions and not enough time. she nodded.
"but i can control them. i can control who comes to light. i couldn't when i was younger. they overpowered me."
i nodded slowly trying to take in everything she told me. "are they like voices in your head?"
"yes. they're always screaming but when i'm around you it gets quiet."
"is that a good thing?" i had to ask because what if they were conspiring how to kill me.
"yes," she chuckled. "when i fell alseep yesterday i asked you was i different because that's the only time they can take the light without my permission."
"i didn't mean to fall alseep. i guess it's just, i'm comfortable around you." i didn't know how to feel. she was making me feel content after she just told me that gruesome story.
i hummed at her trying to gather all the possible questions i had. i knew i should of screamed and ran the other way like a normal person..
but i wasn't as surprised at it as i should of been. maybe something was truly wrong with me.
no something was truly wrong with her.
"so what i'm hearing is you have a blood kink?" maybe she was a vampire and just didn't know it.
it's not every day you meet a vampire.
she didn't answer, she just looked at me. that was definitely a yes.
"what does it taste like?" i brought my legs to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.
she bit her lip as she began to think, "i don't know how to describe it, but it tastes so fucking good." she let out a moan.
although i wanted to, i didn't react, instead i layered on another question, "how many other people have you eaten?" she sighed. i knew she didn't wanna answer my question
but she said i could ask anything.
"too many to count." she really be going on killing sprees huh? the first thing that came to mind was klaus.
"are you immortal? a vampire? you already look pale and your skin is cold. i won't tell anyone if you are." i stretched my legs.
"no." she pushed while shaking her head, "i'm not a vampire but i am a god."
"you are huh? prove it." i doubt she could but she kept implying this. there was so much flaw.
she had multiple personalities, voices in her head. she drunk blood and ate hearts? for what? oh i meant to ask her that.
"why do you kill and eat them? should i be worried?" i was too pretty to die, and yea let's not talk about the times i wished i was dead.
it was gibberish from depression.
"no, you're pure. i couldn't without your permission even if i tried. i only eat the one's drowning in sins."
i furrowed my eyebrows, "what does it mean to be pure?"
"you've been through so much pain and truma, much like me before i touched the light. you're fragile and by the pills you take i reckon they're to help you hm?" i nodded.
"and through it all you try to see the good in people. you're broken but you don't ever let anyone see that. you're a broken glass, one that gives pieces of her self to assist others instead of fixing yourself."
"you're pure mileena. you're like no other."
i glanced to the side in thought. she made it out to be that i was special, like it was a gift. it was far from that.
i was never in control. not even in control of my own life.
and though i made it out to be i was okay with life, i was okay with everything that happened to me.. i wasn't.
everyday i was on the edge of ending it and no one had a clue. if this is what it meant to be pure.. i wanted nothing to do with it.
it was miserable. a tear ran down my cheek snapping me out of my trance. i wiped the tear and glanced at billie.
"you okay?" i nodded before standing up. it had gotten late, and i didn't feel like driving to my boss.
he'd have to wait.
before i could leave the room billie pulled me back gently, "i didn't scare you away, did i?"
"no." i answered honestly. "i just need to call my boss and tell him i won't be able to make it tonight."
"you sure?"
"yes, billie. maybe it'll take me a minute to process everything but you didn't scare me away." i smiled.
a real fallen angel.
i thought to myself before walking away.
authors note: please comment & vote so it can reach a higher audience, thank you <3.