"She's gone?" Rick's voice cracked, as he ran a hand through his hair.
When Tyreese had made it indoors he was surprised to see he had successfully broke into the Anderson's house where Carl, Michonne, Deanna, Gabriel and the Anderson's had taken sanctuary in. Ron had stormed off as soon as the word 'Amelia' had left Tyreese's broken lips. Carl was deathly silent.
"I couldn't get to her..." Tyreese was ridden with guilt. "She saved me and I couldn't get to her."
Carl's eyes never left the floor as the tears welled up. He couldn't cry, now wasn't the time to. If he got himself killed for being emotional he knew Amelia would slaughter him from wherever she had made it to. But at the same time he didn't even feel as though he could function with the knowledge he had gained. She could be gone. He always thought she could beat anything because of how overly confident in herself she was. It was only the other night she had confided in him that she was scared for him and the others.
And now she was gone. Whether that was from existence completely or just for the time being he didn't know. Would she come back as a walker? His brain could only comprehend the words Tyreese had said.
'She couldn't of faught them off'.
He prayed she had managed to get away but from the mere description Tyreese had gave and just from looking outside he knew the odds were slim.
My foot smashed through the floor level window that allowed me to see the basement of the block of buildings near the pond. I remained laid on my stomach, hoping that no walkers saw me or heard the smash. Nothing. I spun around crouched down to look through the window. It was empty, but that didn't mean the rest of the building was. Ideally, I wanted to get near the jail cell, but I couldn't stay outside any longer so I had to settle with what I could get.
I swiped the blade of my knife through the pane to snap off any loose shards and slid through. I landed on the floor with a gentle thud and held my breath. It was still empty thankfully, and I couldn't hear anything upstairs but I stayed silent anyways. I crept over the smashed glass, trying my best to avoid the shards as I heard a quiet crunch from below me. I allowed myself to sit below the window, away from view and facing the stairs. I didn't have the energy to barricade the door, and frankly, I had the unsettling thought that if I was to barricade it, it could potentially stop someone else from escaping death.
I checked my gun; there were no bullets left. I sat it down beside me, listening to the scuffles of feet above me. The groans of the dead as they walked past the window, oblivious to my existence, was oddly soothing. I was safe for now. I just had to stay quiet.
As I sat there, my thoughts drifted to the boy in the sheriff's hat I had grown close to. Was he safe? I hoped so; I couldn't even bring myself to think of how I'd react if he wasn't. My thoughts were brought to each person I had met. Daryl, Abraham, Sasha and Glenn still hadn't returned, and now they wouldn't have anything to return to. Maggie, if not dead, would become a widow. Carl, if not dead, had the possibility of being an orphan. Judith could possibly be an only child plus an orphan. The list was endless with possibilities on things I felt sick thinking about.
Eugene would die a helpless nerd, and that fact would probably never change even if he did survive this. And as much as I disliked Gabriel, I hoped he made it through this. I still have a lot I would like to say to him. I doubted he'd step up after his whole drama about locking the doors. I wanted to pity him for how he survived the start of it all, locking out his friends to preserve himself out of fear. The other part of me dreaded to think that part of him was still alive and could cost someone else their lives.
The pain in my leg was becoming more evident the longer I sat in silence. I knew it was down to me falling from the house. I pulled my pant leg up to try and see, and cringed at the sight of my leg. A harsh bruise had risen from my ankle up my shin. It wasn't broken; I wouldn't of made it this far, even with the adrenaline.
I didn't know how much time had passed when it was silent outside. I hadn't fallen asleep, yet I hadn't exactly been fully aware of what was going on either. It was almost as if I had been in autopilot, aware but not really. It wasn't dark anymore, the light from outside spilled through the window and lit up what was once a dark basement.
I pulled myself to my feet and looked up out the window. There were no walkers roaming the streets. I wasn't tall enough to see much else, so I pushed some boxes to the bottom of the window and climbed them, ignoring the pain in my leg.
As I peeked over the ledge, I could see the walkers now, dead on the floor. Well, deader than they already were. I grabbed my knife and climbed through the window. It was a bit of a struggle since I had to pull myself up and through but I managed. I could see some Alexandrians dragging and carrying corpses away. None of them truly seemed like they were functioning; as if they were in autopilot too.
I limped around, until I saw the infirmary. Everyone that I knew was there. My family; some sat down, some leaning against the wall and some stood.
"Oh my god," Daryl breathed out in shock as he saw me, and ran to me.
I didn't expect him to hug me, but I didn't resist it anyway. I needed it.
"We thought ya were dead, we couldn't find ya anywhere," he said, pulling back to look at me.
Tyreese was next to wrap his arms around me, his shoulders shook and I realised he was nearly crying.
"How did you get away? I was so scared, I tried to get to you," he held my shoulders as he looked at me, scanning me over for blood that was my own.
"I broke into a basement, they didn't see me slip away."
He smiled in relief, hugging me again before I looked at everyone else. Maggie stood with Glenn and Enid, who gave me a small smile. I was surprised at this but smiled back weakly. The more I looked at everyone the more I noticed who wasn't there.
Carl.
As I pondered where he was, it started to piece together. Never before had we waited outside the infirmary, not even with my gunshot. It was a quick in and out. Everyone looked tired; as if they'd been here a lot longer than a quick in and out.
"Where's Carl?" I asked, looking at Daryl.
He didn't answer, I diverted my attention to Tyreese. He looked away from me and back at the infirmary. It was all it took for me to push past him and up the steps. No one stopped me, Maggie reached her hand to me but didn't attempt to make an actual restraint when my arm slipped out of her grasp.
I burst through the doors and my breathing stopped. Laid on the bed was Carl, a bandage wrapped his head holding a patch to his eye. Rick's eyes darted up at my unexpected arrival and stood up. His hand that was once rested in Carl's slipped away, reaching out to me.
"What happened?" My voice wavered, and Rick guided me to the chair he was once sat in.
"Ron lost his family. He got upset," Rick said and my blood boiled. "They're all gone."
I looked at him, "What, Ron too?"
He nodded. "We lost a lot of people."
I looked back at Carl and looked at his rising and falling chest to remind myself that he was still here.
"Who else?" I asked.
Rick sighed, and I didn't dare look at him incase he was already looking at me.
"Deanna."
My mind reeled with questions. What would happen now? We sat in silence, Rick dragging a chair to the other side of Carl. It didn't feel weird for me to hold Carl's hand. I had expected it to feel awkward after our kiss and then our period of not speaking but it came naturally. Would he even wake up?
"I was expecting to find you sometime soon," Rick said, his voice was broken, though his accent was not. "I just hoped it wouldn't be as a walker."
"Optimistic," I muttered, remembering small flashes of how I'd barely made it out. "I was expecting to be one," I added.
"You're tough," he approved. "Strong," he added.
"Carl is too," I whispered, watching as Rick's face almost crumpled in pain.
"You know, at the start of it all, Carl got shot trying to pet a deer. Man called Otis, hunting. Bullet went straight through the deer," Rick recalled, a distant look in his eyes. "Luckily, Otis knew a man called Hershel. He saved my boy," he sniffled.
"That's how you met Maggie and Beth, right?" I asked.
I'd only had a brief conversation about Hershel when I'd spoke to Maggie about Beth. More so apologised for how things went down and her telling me it wasn't my fault, and that if her father were here he'd scold me for just thinking so.
"Yeah," he said.
I could tell his mind was elsewhere, and so I stood. I hated how empty my hand felt without Carl's in it. I hated how far away he felt when he was just in front of me.
I stayed stood there for a moment, looking down at the boy. He looked peaceful. It was a simple gesture, a peck on his cheek that I hoped was gentle enough not to hurt him. Not that I thought he'd feel it anyway.
"You better wake up," I whispered in his ear, straightening up.
I avoided Rick's eyes as I passed him. I slapped his shoulder as I went past, not very gently might I add.
"So long, Rick."