Self-harm (noun);
"The practice of cutting or otherwise wounding oneself, usually when emotionally distressed."
That moment when everything doesn't seem right and you just feel so depressed. And that you can't help but do it anyway.
Why? That's the question. I can't seem to find the answers to it. Is it because it feels reassuring in some ways? I just can't help it. I have been repressing these urges for a few years and it's really hard.
It's like a bad habit that I can't curb. Why, just why.
I hate that I can't stop it. I hate that I can't control it. And I hate that I'm hurting those around me.
A friend recently told me that our bodies are just a tool but our souls are ours. She also told me that if I ever felt the urges, I could just write about the things that make me happy.
Things/People that make me happy:
Long and tight hugs.
A simple 'Hello'.
Seeing and making others smile.
Singing.
Mother Nature.
Those who stayed no matter what.
The list is still incomplete and I'm still figuring what makes me happy. Here's mine, what's yours?