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****
I felt powerful.
How many girls could say they've turned down the hottest guy in school? I had Seth half-naked and begging more...and I just left. Talk about willpower.
"Alexis!" He shouted at me from the other end of the hall. "Alexis!" He repeated. I could feel the strain in his voice—the disbelief, the hurt, but I continued walking.
I dodged him by turning down another hallway and paused to catch my breath. I can't believe I just did that. I can't believe I just did that!
"Am I interrupting something?" Mackenzie's voice cut my silent victory short. She was holding her books against her chest and sounded very irritated. "You totally ditched me back there, Lex."She smacked her bright pink lips at me and waiting impatiently for a response.
"Are you really that upset about me being partners with Seth?"
"I wasn't even talking about Seth. I was talking about the fact that first you weren't at breakfast and then you totally ditched our daily walk to second period together." She said, her blonde curls bouncing as she talked.
"Are you mad at me, Mac?" I didn't understand why she was reacting this way.
"I'm mad at how distant you've been lately. You've been ignoring Stella and I ever since break was cut short and now you're hanging around Seth again. I don't know whether to be mad or worried."
"I would never choose Seth over you two."
"Honestly, I don't know if I can even believe that anymore."You've got to be kidding me. With everything that's been going on lately, I hardly had time for pathetic girl drama like this.
"You were the one who made us sneak out of school for a boy. If anything, you're the one with an unhealthy relationship." I retaliated.
"That was your idea!" She threw up her hands. "At least Bryce cares about me. Seth only likes you when it's convenient for him."
I rolled my eyes at her. "Why are you acting so ridiculous? Are you jealous that I can actually get a guy who goes to this school?" My words stung more than I thought they would.
"Wow." She sighed.
"You know I didn't mean that."
"Do me a favor and just don't talk to me, because it's like I don't even know you anymore."
I didn't bother chasing after her. Mackenzie needed time to cool down and I did too. "Trouble in paradise?" Clyde chuckled. He had been making his way out of the bathroom. "Do you think this is a bad time to ask her to the Winter Formal?" He said, watching Mackenzie's figure angrily storm off down the hall.
"You're thinking of asking her?" I smiled.
"She kind of scares me, but I think she's really cool."
"Isn't that this weekend?" I asked. It used to be all that was on my mind, but I had completely forgotten about it.
"Yeah, which is why I'm not sure if I'll even ask. She probably has a date by now."
"She sort of has this thing going on with a boy from town."
"I heard about that." He nodded. "I was sort of hoping that things wouldn't work out between them."
"I can't believe you like Mackenzie!" I laughed.
"Jeez, you don't have to make fun of me." He chuckled.
"I've just never heard you talk about a girl in a romantic way before. It's really sweet."
"What about you? Have any plans for the Winter Formal yet?"
"I've been banned from the Winter Formal. Figaro's orders."
"That sucks big time."
"Why do you ask?"
He shrugged. "I figured Seth would've asked you by now."
"Seth doesn't like me like that."
"Are you kidding?" Clyde laughed. "You're all he ever talks about."
"Really?" I couldn't help but smile.
"I didn't think you would be this surprised. I mean, he purposefully blew Battle Royale for you."
"He did that in front of the entire school. I thought it was some sort of attention-seeking stunt."
"Seth might be a total asshole most of the time, but he does have feelings for you. He just really sucks at showing it."
"I wouldn't be talking." I teased. "If you like Mackenzie you should tell her."
"The difference between Seth and I is that he's Seth and I'm....me. Mackenzie's way out of my league."
"Don't talk about yourself like that. You're a great guy!" I shoved him playfully. "Seriously, Clyde," I looked him straight in the eye. "you're a teenage spy in training! Any girl would be lying if she said she never had that fantasy before." We both laughed at that.
"Have you ever considered taking your own advice?" He paused in his tracks. We were standing outside the Latin classroom only minutes before the bell would ring. "I get that feeling that you don't think your good enough. I think that's why you don't believe Seth could actually like you, because you think he must have some ulterior motive. Any guy would be lying if he said he never dreamt of hooking up with some super hot spy." He chuckled. "Don't sell yourself short." Clyde waved goodbye, and I pushed open the door to my Latin classroom.
****
It was dinner time. Mackenzie, Stella, and I were sitting at our usual table. Mackenzie wasn't talking to me and although Stella could sense that something was wrong she didn't push it. "So there I was, covered in lingerie with at least five hundred thousand dollars worth of diamonds when...." Stella's adventures from her short-lived winter vacation were cut short when Rooney walked over towards us. "Excuse me?" She asked. Rooney had this stupid grin across his face and a guitar draped along his body. He jumped up onto our table and strummed the strings of the guitar. A huge smile crept across my face and I clapped my hands together excitedly. Seemingly out of nowhere, Seth and Clyde appeared. The dining commons erupted into laughter as the two began to dance seductively around Stella—whose cheeks were stained bright red.
"I know this might not be the best time," Rooney sang, his voice surpringly not cringe-worthy. "but I spent a lot of time making up this rhyme," He continued. Mackenzie had pulled out her cellphone and began to video tape. Seth and Clyde unraveled their shirts and twirled them around above their heads. By now, the entire dinning commons was clapping along. "so do me a favor this one time and be my date to the Winter Formal" he sang, "I promise it'll be sublime." He hopped off the table and knelt down at Stella's feet. With one last strum of his guitar he asked, "Please do me the honor Stella, and I promise I won't bring my guitar with next time."
"Of course I'll go with you!" Stella laughed, throwing her arms around him. The dinning commons erupted with cheers of support.
"Would you believe me if I said he'd been practicing that for the past three hours?" Seth teased, giving Rooney a slap on the back. The three of them took a seat at our table, pulling up extra chairs so that they could fit.
"Do you have any plans for the formal yet, Mackenzie?" Clyde asked.
"Actually, Figaro just approved me bringing in Bryce as my date!" She nodded enthusiastically.
"That's great." Clyde nodded.
"It's too bad that you can't go, Lex." Seth sighed, snatching a fry from my plate.
"Do you have any plans yet?" I replied.
"For a matter of fact, I do." He smiled back, stealing another fry.
"Then how about you back off my fries?" I suggested, pulling my plate away from him.
"Who are you taking Seth?" Stella wondered.
"I haven't asked her yet." He explained.
"Can't you give us a hint?" Mackenzie begged.
"Sorry, but that information is highly classified." He said, leaning backwards in his seat nonchalantly.
"Do you have any idea what the evening activity is tonight? I heard Figaro was planning something big to make up for the shortened break." Rooney changed the subject.
"Speaking of break, how was the cabin?" Stella turned to me. "That must of been an interesting time."
"I guess you could say that." I murmured. I could feel Seth's eyes piercing into my skin as if warning me against saying anything.
"What happened to your arm?" Were the first words Mackenzie said to me all night. I quickly covered up my stitches with my sleeve.
"It's nothing." I assured her.
"I wouldn't call that nothing." She objected.
"I said it's nothing." I shot back a bit aggressively.
"Well this conversation just got extremely awkward." Rooney interrupted. "Did any of you hear about Fishman? He asked Veronica to the Formal during lunch."
I nearly spit out my Sprite. "He what?"
"I could barely believe it myself." He agreed.
"She moved on fast." Mackenzie muttered. "No offense." She nodded towards Seth.
"I think he's gotten pretty cute." Stella argued. "He looks like a new person without his glasses."
"He's always looked like that." I objected. "You've just never noticed him before."
"Does someone have a crush?" Mac chuckled. She was seriously starting to get on my nerves. I eyed the knife besides me but shook my head. I wasn't about to stab my best friend—especially not while I was eating.
"She's blushing." Seth observed.
"No, I'm not." I rolled my eyes, stuffing a slice of pizza into my mouth.
"Always wanting what she can't have." Mac joined in. I curled my fingers around the knife. Deep breaths, Alexis. Don't get yourself in any more trouble than you're already in.
"Attention students of Trinity Academy," Figaro's voice boomed over the intercom. For once, I was thankful to hear Figaro's voice. "I'd like to issue a warm welcome back after the unfortunate shortening of Winter Break." Again, I could feel Seth's eyes on me. "As a gift, tonight's evening activity will not be physically orientated."
"Oh thank god." Stella breathed.
"Instead, there will be an all-school bonfire hosted on the backfields. Underclassmen are allowed to stay until 10 pm and upperclassmen until midnight. It will begin at 8:00 so remember to dress appropriately." Her voice faded.
"By appropriately does that mean we don't have to wear our uniforms?" Mackenzie asked.
"So feel free to wear a new pair of shorts or even no pants at all." Rooney encouraged.
I threw a fry at him from across the table. "I think it's a great idea." I said in support. "We deserve a break."
"I agree." Seth nodded. "It's about time we stopped fighting with each other and spent more time being teenagers." He got up out of his seat and so did Clyde and Rooney. "See you tonight." He winked at me as the three of them made their way out of the dining commons.
Stella waited until the three of them were out of sight before she finally said anything. "What the hell is going on with you two? We've been back for barely two days and you're already fighting?" She paused when neither Mackenzie or I spoke up. "I'm going up to the room, but when I come back down I expect the two of you to have on your big girl pants and return to being best friends." She huffed, stealing one more fry before storming off.
"Are you going to tell me why you have those stitches or should just I stop wasting my time talking to you?"
"Don't your understand what 'personal space' means? I obviously don't want to talk about it."
"You've never hid anything from me before. Why are you being so secretive all the sudden? And what's with all those looks Seth was giving you? Are you screwing him or something?"
"Do you really have to do this right now? In front of all these people?" I raised my voice.
"Yes, actually, because I'm supposed to be your best friend and best friends don't keep secrets from each other." She stood up and slammed her fists down on the table. "Unless I'm not your best friend anymore."
"Will you stop being so dramatic? You make such a big deal out of nothing."
"Is our friendship not a big deal to you?"
"Of course it is!"
"So are you screwing Seth?"
"No, I am not screwing Seth!" I yelled a little too loudly.
"Then what's with the stitches?"
"Can't we discuss this later?" The truth was that I was only trying to protect Mac by keeping the truth from her. I'd rather have her mad at me, than risk her life by telling her the truth.
"Stop avoiding the question, Lex."
"I'm not avoiding the question, this conversation is over." I grabbed my tray and started to walk away.
"Keep avoiding your problems, Alexis! You won't be able to run away from them forever!" She called after me.
Watch me.
*******
The bonfire lit up the back fields of the school. The air was warm but with a slight wind that caused the flames to sway. Fold-up chairs had been set up around the fire but most students had resorted to laying on blankets in the grass. My eyes landed on Mackenzie and Stella. They were sitting with Rooney and Clyde laughing about something that caused Stella to snort. Teachers were handing out marshmallows for s'mores and soft music played over the outdoor speakers. I saw Ben and Veronica lying besides each other on a flannel blanket. Her head was resting on his chest and his was running his fingers through his hair. For some reason I felt a ping of jealously. I sat on one of the fold-up chairs so that I could enjoy the warmth of the fire away from everyone.
"Hey." Seth smiled weakly, taking the empty seat besides me. "I brought you this." He said, handing me a root beer.
"Thanks." I sighed, pulling the drink to my lips.
"It's nice, isn't it? To not have to worry about breaking a bone and instead just enjoy each other's company."
"I'm pretty sure Mac wants to break my bones, so we'll have to see about that one."
"Yeah, what's that all about anyways?"
"I could tell you, but I have a feeling that you don't really care." I said, taking a sip of the root beer. "What's the real reason you came over here, Seth? Because we both know it wasn't for some light-hearted fireside chat."
"Does there always have to be a reason? You always need an explanation for everything. All I'm asking is for one night," He held up a single finger. "where you don't accuse me of anything and we can just...talk." He breathed, taking a long swig of root beer. "Is that too much to ask for?"
I shook my head, suddenly feeling guilty for being so aggressive towards him. "We should talk about what happened today."
"You mean the most humiliating moment of my life?"
"It was a simulation." I rolled my eyes at him. "Get over it."
"I thought you said you wanted to talk about it." He countered, smiling slyly.
"Why do you always have to be such a smart ass?" I hit him lightly, my eyes catching on Veronica and Ben lying on the ground.
Seth caught my eye and explained, "Veronica's watching over Ben like I watch over you."
"So she's using him?" I said quietly, watching as Ben wrapped his arm around Veronica's shoulder.
"She's protecting him."
"Same thing." I muttered.
"Why do I get the feeling that your jealous?"
"I'm not jealous. I just feel...protective over Ben. I don't want Veronica to end up hurting him."
"You're always trying to look out for others, but never yourself." Seth pointed out.
"That's because I'm not worth protecting."
"I highly disagree with that statement." He replied, scooting closer towards me.
"You don't need to sugarcoat things. We both know that I'm not an 'ideal' girl. I'm damaged." I paused. "And who would want a damaged girl?" Suddenly I found myself wishing that this root beer was real beer. "When I look at you I'm only reminded of that."
"I don't understand." He crinkled his forehead, reaching his hand for mine.
"You only wanted me because I was 'easy'. Even though you were dating my sister you knew I wouldn't turn you down, because why would a damaged girl turn down the most perfect boy in school?"
"You think I'm perfect?" He chuckled.
I rolled my eyes at him. "Now that I know about the Interface, it's like I'm a ticking bomb. At any moment I could explode, and I'm going to take down everyone close to me when I do."
"It that why you keep pushing Mackenzie away? Pushing me away?"
"I can't...I just can't be responsible for hurting anyone."
Seth took both my hands in his. "Pushing me away from you isn't going to solve anything." He caressed my cheek lightly. "You are not responsible for a decision your parent's made for you. And you are not damaged...you are perfectly flawed. I wouldn't want you any other way."
"How am I supposed to believe you? How do I know that your aren't just following orders for Figaro's new mission."
"You don't." Seth shrugged, moving in closer towards me.
"I've never been good at trusting others." I admitted. "I trusted you and look where that got me. I can't hurt myself like that again."
"Don't we all deserve a second chance?" Seth looked up at me with wide eyes. "I can't fix the mistakes I've made, but I can become a better person than who I used to be. You just have to trust me. No more spying, no more seducing, lying, or cheating, just trust. Can you do that? Can you give me a second chance?"
I took one last look towards Veronica and Ben. Don't we all deserve a chance at happiness? Ben gave Veronica a second chance, and if he could do that then I could too. I closed the space between Seth and I molded my lips against his.
"Is that a yes?" He laughed, pulling away slightly to breathe.
"Yes."