LOVE + WAR
cxxxv || mother and father
When Regulus had returned to the Potter Manor after an hour of frantic searching, Maria had initially been relieved and then angry. Yet nothing had prepared her for the blood that smeared his hands, blood that was not his own. Her lips had parted in surprise and she had jumped to ask questions, only to see that he clearly didn't have it in him to answer her just yet.
Just as Regulus suspected, his pregnant girlfriend had softly took his bloodied hand in her clean one, smearing the drying crimson onto it. She'd cleaned his hands despite her own exhaustion, she'd held him as he cried and never once pried. She never once persisted that he answer the ultimate question of what happened? She knew it was bad from the moment she had seen his dishevelled eyes, she saw the battle in the storms of his eyes as though the god of thunder was on a rampage in his iris'.
To this day, Maria doesn't know exactly what happened that chilly January evening. She's sure she'll find out eventually, from Regulus or not. She's also sure that whatever it is could never come between the two. She knows it won't; nothing will. Not now. Not when they're so close to having everything they always wanted.
Over a month later, she wakes beside him, his forehead pressed against her shoulder blade as she lies awake, every position feeling overly uncomfortable. Her eyes flutter when she feels Regulus' lips, soft against the skin over her spine between her shoulder blades.
Twenty days ago, they had gotten a patronus from Stanley telling them that Alyssa had given birth to a baby boy. The pair had been to visit, Alyssa telling them that the tiny newborn boy's name is Dylan. Maria had actually shed a tear watching Stan being so fatherly, knowing he's come so far from the flippant boy who was afraid to admit his feelings to his best friend.
"You're so warm." Regulus mumbles as she turns onto her back to look at him. Her lips twitch into a small smile and she shakes her head, kissing his jaw before slowly sitting up and getting to her feet.
The purple tank top stretches over her stomach and the grey shorts hang onto her hips and Regulus grins tiredly as his eyes follow her to the bathroom.
Regulus thinks about the blood on his hands often. Not obsessively, just often. He reassured himself, telling himself that he deserved worse for the hell he put his love through. Yet there's always that one part of him, the part of him adopted from Maria over their years together, that regrets the act. Because he's no longer deemed as completely good in the eyes of Dumbledore and the ministry and the order. Perhaps this whole situation might make them think twice before they thrust children into a war that they're already losing.
"Reg!" Maria calls slowly and Regulus frowns slightly, getting up and hurrying to the doorway where Maria stands with her hands resting on the marble countertop. "Don't panic, but I'm pretty sure my water just broke."
"Wh—are you serious?" Regulus asks incredulously, quickly stepping into the bathroom and taking her hands in his. "You're sure?"
"Pretty sure." Maria mutters, suddenly feeling a sharp cramp in her stomach that goes away within seconds. "Yep, very sure."
"Uh—okay, come on." Regulus helps her to the bed and carefully sits her down, stepping back and raking his hands through his messy hair. "What do you need me to do? What can I do?" He asks frantically and she laughs at him slightly making him look at her like she's insane.
"Reg, labour can last days. Just call Lily and let her know." Maria says with a smile and Regulus nods quickly, wanting to do whatever he can to make the situation less stressful for her. "And don't worry."
"I always worry about you, my love." Regulus presses a soft kiss to her forehead and she smiles slightly, closing her eyes under his comforting lips.
[][][]
"I thought this was supposed to be a beautiful experience." Maria complains, now sat in a muggle hospital bed and playing noughts and crosses with Remus. The werewolf simply chuckles softly, drawing a line through the like of three crosses he'd plotted making her groan and throw her head back against her pillow exaggeratedly.
"Bloody hell, Mar, you're so dramatic." Sirius yawns tiredly as he slouches further into the chair he's sat in making Remus look at him incredulously.
"You try pushing a fucking baby out of you and then you can talk to me." Maria glares at him, drawing a new grid for her and Remus' game.
Regulus and Lily are currently retrieving coffee for the boys and Mary, walking through the dull muggle hospital with the scalding drinks in their hands. The red haired woman can see his frown, knowing there's a lot on his mind and she gently nudges his arm.
"What's the matter?" Lily asks him, her soft voice reaching his ears like relief from his tormenting thoughts. "You look like you've got a lot on your mind."
"It's just. . .I never had a good Dad. My Dad was cruel and selfish and abusive and. . ." Regulus pauses to exhale shakily. "I'm afraid of not being a good father."
Lily's face had softened, her green eyes sorrowful as they stand outside the door to the room, "you'll be a perfectly good father, Reg. And even if you don't know what that looks like. . .you have Maria. You and her will help each other learn, you always do." Lily smiles. "James was worried too, not for the same reasons but. . .he's the best father that a mother could wish for their child. And I know you will be too."
Regulus gives her a grateful smile, kissing her temple as a brother would his sister, and carefully opening the door. He sees Maria chewing the end of a pencil, her brown eyes flickering across the notepad that her and Remus have been playing on together to pass time.
"Finally." Mary groans, standing from her seat and practically running to grab the coffee from Regulus who shoots her a glare. "Thanks, Regulus." She smiles sweetly making him roll his eyes and hold his middle finger to her sarcastically.
"Where's Pete?" Maria enquires, a frown pulling on her face as worry floods through her.
"We don't know, we sent a patronus but—"
"I'm here! Sorry, Mum wouldn't stop talking my flaming ear off." Peter says quickly as he stumbles onto the room. "I did get you these." He reaches into his bag and pulls out a box of treacle fudge.
"Peter—you're my hero." Maria gasps as she takes the box and he leans down to hug her, pressing a brotherly kiss to her cheek.
Sirius drags a chair over for the blonde who takes a seat, guilt flooding through his body as he squeezes the Potter girl's hand softly.
"I'm not going on another coffee trip." Regulus says persistently as he sits on the opposite side of her bed and she rolls her eyes softly.
"Good, this coffee is terrible." Sirius grimaces as he takes another sip and Remus gives him a look.
"Jesus, don't drink it then you idiot." Remus takes the cup from Sirius' hand but the Black lets out an annoyed sound from the back of his throat, snatching it back. "You're bloody impossible."
Sirius grins at that. James shares a look with his sister who shrugs her shoulders softly.
Regulus feels Maria's hand tighten around his, her eyes closing as she exhales with a hand on her stomach. He moves his other hand up her arm, rubbing it assuringly as he chews on his bottom lip anxiously.
Soon enough, the midwife had come back and kicked everyone out of the room aside from Regulus and Lily, whom Maria had chosen to stay with her. It's dark now, the sun setting as the clock hits eight o'clock in the evening.
"You're doing so well, love." Regulus says comfortingly as Maria lets out an exhausted breath, her forehead coated with a thin layer of sweat as she squeezes his hand, her contractions closing in and becoming more and more frequent.
"You did this to me." Maria mumbles making Lily laugh from the other side of her and Regulus shoots the red head a joking glare. "Reg, it hurts."
"I know, baby, you're almost there." Regulus mutters, pressing a kiss to her hand that has been clutched in his for the past hour. On few occasions, he felt as though her grip was going to crush the bone in his hand, yet he never complained.
"I can't do it." Maria says hoarsely, tears in her eyes and Regulus moves some damp hair from her tired face.
"You can, Mar, if I can do it you bloody well can." Lily says, comfortingly rubbing her sister's shoulder. "Just think of it, holding them for the first time."
Maria whimpers, nodding and readjusting herself on the bed. Regulus holds her left hand in both of his, watching as one of the two midwives in the room tells Maria to start pushing. And she does, she musters up all her energy and gives it everything she has left.
After what feels like forever, Regulus hears the sound of a baby crying as Maria exhales in relief, her hand relaxing in his own as he jumps to his feet. But the sound of Maria's drained cries brings him back from the thought of their baby.
"It still hurts—Lily, it still hurts." Maria's vulnerable cries break their hearts into two and Regulus thought she was just sore at first but when the midwives ushered them out he new it was something bad.
"What is it?" James instantly stands up, seeing the worried expression on his wife's face as Regulus rakes his hands through his messy hair.
"I—she had the baby but. . ." Lily pauses, looking to Regulus who's running his hands over his face in dread. "Something's wrong, James."
James pulls Lily into a hug, his eyes wide at the thought of something bad happening to his sister because of the one thing she's always wished for.
"What do you mean?" Remus asks nervously, him and Sirius practically leaping from their seats at the statement as James slowly pulls away from the red head.
"They didn't tell us—I don't know." Lily speaks frantically, sad that she can't be of more help.
"Reg." Mary says carefully, softly wrapping her hand around his arm and he turns to her with tears welling in his grey eyes as she pulls him into a tight hug. "She'll be okay, I know she will."
Regulus just hopes she's right.
[][][]
After what seemed to be an eternity, the doctor had exited the room and gave them the okay to go inside. They agreed that Regulus should go in alone first, though Regulus hadn't been there when they made said decision because as soon as he'd heard the words from the doctor he'd rushed into the room.
Regulus sighs in relief, seeing Maria propped up on pillows, tears staining her face and a small smile gracing her chapped lips as she stares at the tiny baby wrapped tight in a white blanket that rests in her tired arms.
"Hi." Maria whispers hoarsely to him as he slowly approaches the bed, his gaze flitting between his love and the baby in her arms. He presses a kiss on her clammy forehead before sitting himself on the bed beside her legs, facing her. He stares in adoration at the baby in her arms, his lips parted slightly. "She's beautiful, isn't she?"
Regulus looks back up at Maria, "she?"
Maria hums in confirmation, "I feel like I never want to let go of her." She whispers, adjusting her soft hold on the sleeping child. "You want to take her? My arms feel like jelly."
Regulus laughs softly, a tear rolling down his cheek as he carefully takes the newborn into his arms, a small smile spreading across his lips. He can see Maria's eyes closing as she fights to stay awake and he smiles softly.
"You should rest." Regulus whispers, placing the hand that isn't holding the baby on her thigh and Maria gives him a smile. "You were so good." His hand rubs her thigh reassuringly as she settles back into the pillows and hums softly at his praise. "I'm so proud of you." He smiles what she finally shuts her eyes and he feels her slightly tense muscles relax beneath his hand, leaning over to kiss her head. "I love you."
"How bloody long—"
"Shut up, you blasted inbred." James hisses at Sirius who stares at the Potter man in disbelief for a moment before continuing into the room quietly.
"Oh wow." Mary breathes when she walks in after the two, seeing Regulus cradling the baby in his safe arms. "She's lovely."
"Wait until she starts talking." Sirius grins before glancing at the Potter woman who's sleeping, he can see the tear streams staining her drained face.
Sirius used to often think about his feelings for the girl, he used to dwell on the fact that he'd accepted she loved Regulus more than him. The funny part is that he was the one to encourage their relationship when he felt strongest for her. Honestly, Sirius doesn't know if he ever loved her romantically, but he sure knows she'll always be the girl that got him when he was kicked to the curb by his dreadful parents. And they'll always have that platonic bond, even after his confusing feelings for her when he was seventeen, he still knows that. And over the time that his feelings for her had slowly faded away, his love for his brother had grown.
Now he's sat at her bedside after she's just given birth to her and Regulus' daughter, and all he can think is how grateful the is that he made the decision to let her go. How glad he is that he'd encouraged the teenage romance between them that had blossomed into something indescribable, something that one cannot possibly put on paper.
"Maria and I spoke. . .unfortunately Mary you're her godmother." Regulus says with a grin and Mary had smiled happily all the while flipping him off. He chuckles quietly, turning to Remus. "And Remus, we'd really appreciate if you would be her godfather."
Remus' lips part begore a small smile spreads across his face and he nods quickly, "yes—I'd love that." He says softly, seeing Sirius grinning in his peripheral vision.
After around an hour, everyone had their hold of Nova and James is holding her in his arms as he grins. He cannot describe how excited he is to raise Harry and Nova as cousins, and when they're old enough he can talk them into wreaking havoc and causing mischief.
Regulus hears Maria stir in her sleep before watching as her tired eyes flutter open, glancing around before letting her head fall back onto the pillow softly.
"I need a drink."
[][][]
little wholesome chapter for u guys here :)
it's currently 5:24am, why is my sleep schedule so terrible 😃
finally time for some action, honestly i did that time skip because i was bored of maria not really being involved in the good shit
thank you for reading my loves, i will never know how this story has reached 1.5 million reads!! i love you guys sm, thank you for your comments because they seriously keep my motivation going😚😚
—grace xxx