Stubborn.
One word, two syllables, and something I constantly get nagged at for being.
My name is Marcie, I'm 17 years old, an only child, and I tend to be a little... closed-minded.
I refuse to try boba, much to my friend's annoyance, I always stay in on Friday nights, and I hate being told what to do.
Despite how it sounds, I'm not a brat, I've always been aware of how hard it is on my Mum, looking after me all on her own for 17 years, and I help her as best I can, but when she told me we were moving to a small town far away from the life I knew and loved, I wasn't exactly... ecstatic.
I grew up in New York. I was used to the loud noises and constant rush of the city. I had close friends who I was almost always hanging out with, I had a job at a cosy cafe, and I was getting decent grades at school. It's safe to say life was going well for me. It was too good to be true.
Previously, my life wasn't perfect. I had gotten bullied all through middle school, then went through a messy break-up last year that left me with BIG trust issues concerning love and relationships.
I became severely depressed and refused to leave my room for a month. Mum tried her best to get me out, but it was pointless. I had fallen into a pit of despair.
Eventually, and much to my luck, my friend intervened and practically shoved me out of the house, telling me I needed to get back on track with my life and stop letting some guy ruin my dreams.
They were right.
It was hard at first, but slowly I managed to start bringing my grades up again and got myself a job. I made myself abide by a set of rules so I would never fall into the pit of grief and depression as I had before again.
1 - No relationships til I graduate. They are only a cause of distraction and hurt
2- Get out of the house after school every day but Friday
3- Work hard and save up for your gap year
By following these rules, I managed to get my life back on track, and as far as saving up was concerned, I succeeded. After school Friday nights, I let myself take a break and have time for myself. I avoided relationships like the plague, which, lucky for me, was easy. Everything was going well, and then Mum dropped this bombshell on me.
It was a regular Saturday evening for me. I had just gotten home from a movie night at my best friend, Brie's, and had come home in a good mood after a decent day at school and an evening full of laughter with my friends. I was expecting to be studying til I was too exhausted to continue and then read til I fell asleep. Not exactly the most colourful routine, I know, but most Saturdays, I was out partying with my friends and often ended up with nothing better to do if I wasn't.
I had plans the next day to work from 7 til 4, then go clubbing with our fake IDs with my friends. As far as my Mum was concerned, I planned on telling her I was sleeping over at a friend's house.
That never ended up happening, as when I walked into the house that night, Mum was waiting for me in the living room with the news that was about to change my life.
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(Switching to present tense)
"Hey, Marce, is that you?" I hear my Mum calling out from the living room. Odd, I consider. Due to my Mum's job, she tends to sleep early as she has to wake up before the sun.
Mum works for the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation, but unfortunately, she's pretty low down on the food chain and has terrible hours, the one thing she complains about.
"Yeah, what are you doing up?" I ask as I take off my shoes and wander into the living room to find my Mum with a cup of tea in her hand, scrolling on her laptop. She looks up when she sees me and grins as though she has just won the lottery.
"Did you have a nice time at Brie's?" She asks, not answering my question.
"Yeah, I did. We watched a bunch of old movies. It was great," I say, waiting for my answer.
"Oh, that's nice, honey. I have some exciting news!" She exclaims, looking as though she's about to break into song and dance, "I'm not sure how you'll feel about this, but as you know, I hate my office hours, and I've been going on for the past few months about this promotion coming up which would give me more adjustable hours, and certainly better pay..." She mumbles the last part, and I wait for her to continue, nodding as she speaks.
"I got the promotion!" She practically squeals, embracing me in a tight hug. I beam and hug her back. This would be great! Now, Mum will be slightly less stressed, and I can see and talk to her more.
"That's great! Why weren't you sure if I'd like this? This is some of the best news I've heard in ages! I'm so happy for you!" getting mildly concerned now... I begin to wonder, what is she hiding from me?
"There is one minor downside to the promotion. While, yes, I would be starting at 9:00 am and finishing at 6, it would also involve moving," she mentions, apprehension tainting her voice.
I go pale. Fear knots my stomach. I gulp, my mouth suddenly dry. I try to convince myself that this might not end the world. Maybe we wouldn't be moving far. Perhaps I could stay at my current school. Surely we wouldn't be moving far, right?
"Moving where?" I ask, my voice croaky.
"I've been looking at it this evening. I've found us an adorable house, it would be much nicer than our current apartment, and the town itself seems nice..." She half answers, edging around the question.
"The town's name is North Valley. It's about a ten-hour drive from here." Concern laces her voice. She knows I'm not pleased about this. Finally, my life is going well, and then The Universe has to throw this massive boulder in my way.
"When are we leaving?" I question. Sort of in shock. How can my life flip like this all of a sudden?
"Monday, we'll have to spend all of tomorrow packing. I'm sorry it's such short notice. I knew you wouldn't like this, and I only found out for sure last week, and you've been out. I've been working... I didn't have the time or the courage to tell you. I'm so sorry." Mum rambles.
She looks so worried. I can't bear it. This will make Mum's life more manageable, and who knows, maybe living in a small town away from my best friends, school, job, life and everything I know and love won't be so awful after all.
Who am I even kidding?
"It's okay, don't worry, Mum, I'm sure a change of scene will be... nice? I'm so happy for you!" I start trying to fake enthusiasm and convince myself in the process.
Mum nods and kisses me on my forehead, then goes to bed, leaving her cold tea behind her. As soon as she leaves the room, I sigh and flop down to the nearest pillow, the thought that I will have to pack up my entire life and move within a day just hitting me.
I'm up half the night tossing and turning, with a bajillion thoughts racing through my head. When I eventually fall asleep, I have an anxiety-induced nightmare and wake up the following day in a cold sweat, sheets tangled around me.
I grumble as I get out of bed and stumble into our tiny kitchen to make some coffee. It's safe to say I am NOT a morning person.
I quietly sip on my coffee, leaning against the counter and trying to prepare myself for the nightmare of a day ahead of me. Mum left a note on my bed saying she was out getting boxes and sorting out the moving van. She asked me to start packing what I could into my bags or suitcases.
With my coffee finished, I shower and get myself ready, then start folding all my clothes, books and photos in some old boxes Mum probably forgot about at the back of my closet.
Unshed tears fill my throat as I stare down at an old photo of my friends and me in times square on New Year, it was so crowded, but I'll never forget how magical that night was.
I wrap all my fragile stuff in bubble wrap and seal up my last box with tape when I hear the door open, signalling Mum is back.
I wander into the kitchen to see Mum packing our ceramics and glasses in bubble wrap, then carefully placing them in boxes. She looks happy. I can't say the same.
"Would it be alright if I could head down to the cafe? I've finished packing and want to meet my friends there to say goodbye." I wonder
"Yes, that's fine, but be back in an hour or two, okay?"
"Alright, see ya," I call as I rush out the door.
I run down the stairs of our apartment building, then down the street to the cafe where I usually work or meet up with my friends.
As I walk through the door, I see the familiar and comforting sight of my friends sitting at one of the larger tables, sipping coffee and laughing. Pain stabs my chest at the thought of having to leave them. We've been through so much together. Especially Brie and me. She got me through my grief about Tom, my ex.
After two hours and too many tears and snot to handle later, I stroll down the street, the September wind making me shiver. It was barely Autumn, yet already it was freezing.
By the evening, we finish packing, the house now littered with cardboard boxes containing our lives from the last 17 years. It's weird how you can pack everything and leave everything you know behind you.
That night I try to sleep in an eerily empty room, shivering slightly, unsure if it's from anxiety or cold. I toss and turn with fear knotting my stomach. A new town means a new school and new friends, which won't be awful, I'm pretty social and confident, but now I'll have to find another job, and this move won't look great on my college applications.
I wake up with a pit of dread filling me. I sigh as I get ready and start loading boxes into the moving van. With a shove, I place the last box into the moving van and turn to my Mum. She looks giddy, so I try to put on a smile and at least be happy for her, a stranger could tell how excited she is just by glancing at her, and I don't want to ruin this for her with my bad mood.
I stare out the window and watch as cities, towns, fields and forests pass us. Snapping out of my 'main character' moment, I turn on the radio to try and lift my mood and start tapping my foot to a familiar song. Mum turns her head slightly and smiles at me.
Mum and I make small talk on and off for a bit, but eventually, I feel my eyes grow heavy, and before I know it, I've fallen asleep.
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I wake up with a jolt as I notice the car has stopped, I look out the window to see we're parked on a driveway, and there's a pile of boxes by a red front door. 'this must be the house,' I think to myself.
It's two stories with white panelling and a black roof. It's basic, but I can see an eery, dark forest surrounding the house, sending a chill up my spine just looking at it.
I jump out of the car and see Mum fumbling with the house keys to unlock the door. I grab my duffel bag and a box and bring them inside. I place them in the hallway, for now, then heave the others inside, trying my best not to break anything. Panting slightly with the effort, I begin to walk off to explore the house.
"There are two bedrooms, both with bathrooms attached. You can pick which one you want," I hear Mum call as I head off, clambering up the carpeted stairs. This place is huge in comparison to our previous, cramped apartment.
I head for the room with a view of the street in front of the house. It's nice. It has white walls and grey carpet, a window seat looking out the woods, and another to the street. I see a double bed in the middle of the room and a built-in wardrobe.
There's a door, which I assume leads to the bathroom. I run downstairs, itching to unpack and grab the boxes and my duffel bag containing my stuff, then haul them up the stairs into my chosen room.
It's late by the time I'm done, and despite my nap in the car, I'm exhausted. I put on my pyjamas and make my way to bed, but as I drift off to sleep, I hear a strange sound. I sit up, now alert and strain my ears to try and hear the noise. I listen carefully, and just as I'm about to dismiss it as my imagination and go back to my slumber, I catch it again, this time as clear as day.
A wolf's howl.
'Who knew there were wolves in the woods,' I think, closing my eyes and trying to ignore the anxiety building up inside of me surrounding my first day of school tomorrow...
A/N - I promise it'll get better, please trust the process 😭