Kevin, Alan, Julius, Aaron, Carlos, Xavier and I all sat around in a small living room painted the color of lush green grass. The floor was made of old polished wood that had lost its shine long ago. The chairs were antiques, beautiful floral cloth covering the padding, and the coffee table in the middle of the circle of chairs had elegant carvings around the sides.
I looked around the circle at the Rogues, fixing my gaze just above the skin beyond their right ears. There, a black tattoo bulged. Long stems threaded with thorns intertwined from the tip of the ear to the bottom. A single rose slept at the bottom, resting in the shadow of an ornate “R”. The stems twisted into the "R" and the thorns weaved in and out, in and out. The rose was supposed to represent the women, alone. The thorns were the Rogues, protecting the rose from harm. It was so beautiful, and the words that I tried to speak were lodged at the bottom of my throat.
“So, what can we help the little miss here with?” Kevin arched an eyebrow in my direction. Everyone followed his lead.
“Well, you heard about the revolution, right? The war women are planning?”
“Of course. What kind of Rogues would we be if we hadn’t known about it,” Julius decided to pipe up next to me.
“Well, I need a favor.” I paused and rubbed the back of my neck in guilt. “And it’s sort of huge…”
“What kind of favor?” Aaron peered at me from an odd angle, stretching his neck out to look over Carlos and Xavier.
Out of nowhere, Xavier stood from his chair and looked at a few of the Rogues. “Where’s the bathroom?”
“Go into the hallway. There are four doors. One leads to the kitchen, and that’s the first one; the second one leads to a little closet; the third to the stairs, and fourth one is the bathroom.” Carlos directed him to the bathroom.
“Pretty Boy here won’t get lost, right?” Alan whispered to me from my left. I elbowed him in the gut. “Ow!” Alan rubbed at his side.
“Yeah, we don’t want you loosing the only person crazy enough to be your boyfriend, now do we?” Kevin smiled.
“Oh, don’t you feel clever?” I flicked his temple. “He’s not my boyfriend. I want to get rid of him as fast as possible.” I scrunched my nose up and rolled my eyes. “Besides, I don’t want a boyfriend.
“Now, listen to me, and listen very, very closely. Alan, Kevin, you too. All of you, get closer.” I waited until they leaned their heads in closer towards mine. “Xavier thinks I’m trying to stop the war. Do not make him suspect otherwise. And do not mention I created the plan. Do you understand?”
Aaron whistled. “Poor kid.”
“Do you understand?” Everyone nodded. “Good.” I sat back in my chair and let the guys settle back into their original places.
Xavier came back just then, and I began to feel a small pinch in my stomach, as if I felt guilty about something. I glanced around the circle of guys and announced the favor I needed.
“I’m going to need you to get into the white house for me.”
Everyone’s jaw dropped, and I mean it literally dropped. Even Xavier’s.
“I mean, it’s nothing illegal, right?” I tried to make the situation sound a little better. But by the way the men looked at me, I knew I failed.
“You want us to break into the only place in the country with the best of the best security, and you say it’s ‘nothing illegal’?” Alan sat back in his chair and whistled like a bomb falling from the sky. “I don’t know Chrissy, sounds a little complicated.”
“And what do you want us to take, exactly?” Aaron looked at me as if expecting something terrible.
“No, don’t ‘take’ anything. Just copy down the cities with the biggest population census, excluding the facilities.”
Julius stood from his seat and looked at me bewildered. “You want us to break into their files system? Excuse my asking dearest Christalia, but what the hell is wrong with you?” Julius had been quiet up to this moment, so I had to give him some props for taking the information well. Part of it, anyway.
“It isn’t that hard. Reflect their laser wards, avoid any guards, and make sure to get into the information hall in between the guards’ shifts.” I flicked my eyes across the circle. “I have everything figured out. I need you guys. That’s the only reason I came here all the way from Mesa.”
Carlos sighed, then looked at me with pity. “I’m sorry Chrissy, really. But it’s too dangerous.”
“You only need to send one.” I tried not to whine, but the desperation got the better of me. They could be my friends, and they could be my only chance. But I still couldn’t show them just how weak I could be.
“Send one and they’re all endangered,” whispered Julius.
I stood from the chair and gave one last look at the Rogues. “Then I’ll go alone.” I stomped off towards the door, mumbling under my breath, “’Send one and they’re all endangered.’ My ass. Who needs them anyway?” I opened the door and walked out into the windy night since I knew no other place. I neared the cliff and sat with my legs crisscrossed, turning my head up to look at the stars. Out here in the middle of the ocean, there wasn’t enough light pollution to block out the constellation. They twinkled and sparkled like glitter, reminding me of old kids’ songs.
“Twinkle twinkle little star,” I rocked my head side to side along with the worn out melody. “How I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high-"
"Like a diamond in the sky.”
I turned around to look at the source of the voice.
“You know,” he continued. “There’s more to the song.”
“Thanks for the heads up, Xavier.”
He sat down next to me. “When the blazing sun is gone, when there's nothing he shines upon, then you show your little light-”
“Twinkle, twinkle, through the night.”
“So you know it.”
“I’ve studied old English literature.” I continued to stare out into the night, admiring the dance of the stars. “Why are you out here?”
“Incase you left.”
“Huh?” I turned towards him and only saw his profile. “Why would you think I’d leave?”
Xavier looked at me witch a devilish smile. He began mimicking me, and grinned between words. “I’ll go alone!”
I just rolled my eyes, not in the mood. “My voice isn’t that high.”
“Well, whatever. Just listen here, missy. I wasn’t about to stay out here with a bunch of guys I don’t know or trust.” He shrugged. “So I followed you.”
“So it’s a mutual feeling, huh.” I brought my knees up to my chin and wrapped my arms around them, linking one of my hands over a wrist. “I just thought they would help.”
“It is a pretty huge favor, though.”
“Which is why I’m going alone.”
“Where am I going to stay?”
“Here.”
“Excuse me? Did you miss the part where I said I didn’t trust these guys?”
“They’re Rogues. And if you think about it, so are you.”
“I am not.”
I sighed. “Xavier. You’re helping me. And I’m a woman. What does that make you? A Rogue. Just accept the fact.”
Xavier didn’t say anything for a while, just sat in silence with me. “So you’re really going alone.” It was another statement.
“Yup.”
“Well, if you get caught, don’t drag me into this.”
I was about to answer when Aaron called us in for hot cocoa. It was pretty good timing because for one, I was getting cold from the salty crisp wind; and two, I was about to punch Xavier for always thinking I was going to get caught.
“You’ve already been dragged into this,” I replied. I got up and dusted off the sandy dirt from the back of my pants and walked back into the lighthouse, my previous anger swept away by the constant wind and replaced with a final decision.
Back in the living room, clay mugs painted over with colorful vines and flowers of all sorts were placed on a serving tray in the center of the wooden table. I raised an eyebrow.
“Isn’t this a little… feminine?”
A few of the guys just shrugged. “Still mad, Chrissy?” Aaron looked at me with a small smile.
“No.” I grabbed a mug and leaned against he wall. The warmth of the cocoa instantly warmed my cheeks.
“Are you still going to D.C.?”
“Yeah.”
Aaron winced. “When?”
“I’m going to stay here a while. That was one heck of a ride for no reason, so I want to rest a little.” I yawned, then set down my empty mug back on the tray. “Where’s the bathroom? And my room. I want to take this duct tape off.”
“I’ll take you there.” Aaron set down his mug and took off towards the third door leading upstairs.
When we were halfway up the spiraling stairs, Aaron stopped. He waited until I caught up to him, then kept walking at a slower pace. Aaron cleared his throat.
“You remember the day we left? I wrote you a note?”
“Yeah.” I began to feel my guts twist.
“On one side I wrote where to find us. And on the other…”
“Aaron, I really don’t want to talk about this.”
“Just hear me out.” He paused, and audibly sucked in a breath. “I know you read the back. And I know you don’t want anything to do with guys.” He chuckled bitterly. “That’s actually the last thing you said to me.” He sighed again. “But Chrissy, you know we’re not like that. I’m not like that.”
“Aaron…” I stood still then pulled his arm.
“Just once,” Aaron stepped closer to me from the step above mine. “Just once, let me kiss you.” He put his hands around each side of my hip.
I caved into his desperate pleading and let him brush his lips across mine. My stomach heaved at the remembrance of the operation room.
Just shut off your brain. Let the sensations take over. Don’t think…
Aaron’s mouth rolled over mine, soft and sweet. His hands were delicate over my hips, and trailed up and down my sides. It wasn’t bad once I let go of the facility and the operation room, but it just didn’t feel right. As delicate as Aaron tried to be, as softly as he caressed me, his hands were too heavy on my body. I couldn‘t handle it, and a sudden image of Xavier’s face flashed across my eyes. I didn’t move, the pity stronger than the guilt. Aaron shook his head, his strawberry blonde hair drooping low with his green eyes. The bright jade seemed to darken to a gloomy emerald.
“Sorry,” he murmured, then kept going up the stairs. I felt bad, but didn’t say anything. We reached the stairs in silence, and he showed me to a small room. The room was a calm creamy color, the shade of a seashell. Three cots lined a wall, each covered with light blue sheets. “You’ll be sleeping in here with your little minion and Carlos.” His voice was dead and guilt stabbed at my heart. Aaron then showed me a door to the end of the winding hall. “This is the bathroom. Feel free to take as long as you want. There’s a spare towel in a cupboard in there, and an extra toothbrush.” Aaron turned to leave, but I grabbed his arm, with a small peck on the cheek and an innocent smile, I said, “I missed you.”
“I missed you too.” He gave me a smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He wiggled out of my hand and left me alone.
“Wait! I need clothes!”
Aaron turned back around at the sound of my voice. “What do you have?”
“A bra that I have pressed against-”
“Gah! I don’t need to know!” He covered his ears with his hands in a childish action that made me laugh.
There’s my Aaron, I thought to myself.
“-the duct tape. What do you think I was going to say?” Aaron opened his mouth to reply. “Never mind, don’t answer. I’m okay with a pair of sweats or something. And a t-shirt. I’m tired of jeans.”
“Sure, I’ll leave them on your cot.”
“Thanks. You can go now.” I smiled at Aaron and he returned it. He left, not once turning around. I closed the bathroom door and looked around. It was the same color as the bedroom, and the decorative towels were slightly tossed around on their rack. A three-door cupboard lined the top of a huge mirror, and I searched each one until I found a towel.. I stepped out of my men’s clothes, and glanced at the full length mirror stuck on the wall. My boxers were soggy and wrinkled, and the duct tape wrapped over my chest itched. My hair looked greasy with salt and grime, tossed around wildly at the top of my head from the wind. I had bags under my eyes that added a bruised quality to my face, dimming the greenish hazel of my eyes. Scars and cuts stung with salt and maimed my tan skin. I was the perfect image of a marred doll; tortured eyes and scathed petite body.
I have to plan my next steps very well, I can’t leave anything out. I have to know when the best day would be, and how to get into the Whitehouse in plain sight. I sighed and rubbed my hands through my hair, raking through the salt. Dressing as a guard is too obvious… and the tours aren’t anywhere near the file hall. I’d have to disable the cameras until I could get the information I need, but that would mean having some of the latest technology. Technology that, not to mention, I didn’t have any access to.
Aggravated, I growled low and cursed at a wall instead of punching it. I stepped out of my boxers and got into the shower. I set it to steaming, and let the hot water work its magic. The water trailed down my hair and fell down my body, the stress and grime falling with it. I melted in the water, letting the steam jets do their job. After a few minutes of standing in pure hot liquid, soapy water lathered my body, the fresh scent of mint enveloping me in a warm embrace. Clean fountains struck my body again, this time softer than the first. The soap dripped off my hair and down my lashes.
Either it was because of the serenity of the moment or just because I was only eighteen and needed to let go, but I let my walls fall for a minute, and with the hot water fell hot tears. It was a messy, silent sob. Not once did I open my mouth, but salty tears dripped through the small crack between my lips. I sniffled every five seconds, not caring if the Rogues downstairs heard or not. When the steam jets stopped, I snapped back into reality. I wiped away the tears and splashed my face with freezing cold water. I dried myself off and wrapped the towel around my body. The cold tiled floor of the bathroom sent tingles up my feet and rose goose bumps on my back.
When I stepped out of the shower stall I patted over to the last cot where a clean white t-shirt and a pair of long sweats. They looked so comforting, so welcoming. I pulled them on, shivering in the warmth of the clothing. I turned and examined a small wooden door just above the cot. When I swung it open, numbing fall wind whipped my face. It blew the droplets of water falling from my hair onto the cot.
Over the dark horizon, I could see a thin sliver of land, far into the distance. The inky water crashed the rocky shoreline below the cliff, and if I could look down closely enough, I could see the cracked yolky yellow of the round building. The wind whipped my hair around, water freezing to the tips. The wind felt good, and though I was inside I could feel a sense of freedom.
I closed my eyes and sat there, arms resting against the window pane. I froze like the water dripping from my hair and listened to the wind whistle it’s song full of promises and freedom. I sat there just feeling the cold air against my frozen cheeks until a light knock on the door interrupted my blank stare into the night.
I turned and shook off the night’s enchantment. Just as I did, Carlos and Xavier headed into the room. The pale look on Xavier’s face and Carlos’ hard blue eyes spoke millions.
“Go up to the bulb.” Carlos turned to Xavier now. “You too.”
Maybe the only reason I wasn’t worried was because I was too numb to feel anything. Or maybe I was already used to the adrenaline of fear. Whatever it was, in a matter of five minutes or less, I had already pulled down the hatch that lead to the huge light source and hid in the shadows. From beyond the glass, I could see two huge black and white boats with “Coast Guard” written on both of them. Police boats, go figure, I thought to myself.
Xavier was standing completely still next to me, his eyes and mouth set in a cold as stone stare. I had the sudden urge of grabbing a huge slab of stone and a chisel and just make a statue of him like the Greeks would do.
“Hide from a good place, not too close to the window so that you’re visible from outside, but not too far so that you can’t keep a close eye out, okay? I’ll let out a whistle from outside when the coast is clear.”
Carlos left with those words and disappeared down the hatch almost fifteen minutes before.
Now, I lay on my stomach just below the lens, hiding in its shadow. Xavier lay next to me, blurring the shape of my body with his own for more security. His body heat radiated off him and warmed my arm that was pressed to his own, cold as the water from outside.
“Why is it that whenever we need to hide, I’m stuck with you?”
“You’ve been stuck with me since almost six months ago.”
I rolled my eyes and whispered back, “Five months.”
“You seriously kept track?”
“Shh,” I hushed him, training my ears on a sudden creak from floorboards beneath us.
“What?”
“Shut up!” I hissed between clenched teeth and squeezed my eyes shut. I ran through my mother’s words once again in my head.
“Close your eyes and block out every other sound. Remember to clear your mind of any thoughts or fear. Don’t squeeze your eyes, sweetie. Yes, like that. You’re so smart, Christalia.”
I lightened the pressure on my closed eyes and listened in the distance. I pressed my ear to the floor and listened intently. The sounds were muffled from the distance, but I still heard snippets of sentences.
“… stolen boat earlier… tracked it here.”
“… boat? No…” It sounded like Kevin, or maybe Julius…
“… was abandoned? No reported… in years.”
People began walking underneath us, and the farther away they walked, the less I could hear. Xavier shifted next to me, pulling his arm free from under his chest. Floor groaned in protest, a loud morose wail as if in pain. The people beneath us stopped walking, an eerie quiet drowned out by the pounding of my heart.
Shit. Shit, Xavier. Shit.
My body chose this moment to tremble, but not in fear. The adrenaline rushed in my bloody, my heart hammering my chest. I glared at Xavier who was frozen still on his side, his body turned away from mine. His arm was half way out, half way under his chest. I didn’t dare move a muscle, and so I couldn’t hear as clearly what was happening downstairs. I forced my shallow breaths to even out, then focused my ears downstairs.
“… that?”
I could hear a light chuckle from a few of the boys. “… Abandoned? Because the… haunted ever since.” It was Aaron’s voice, I could tell very clearly.
The voices trailed outside, and died down with the crashing of the waves. The pounding in my heart calmed down, and I knew it was safe once again. Instantly, I slapped the back of Xavier’s head.
“Ow! What was that for?” He snapped his head towards my face, coming back from La-La Land.
Well, more like Oh-God-I’m-Going-To-Die Land.
“For being stupid!” My whispers were vicious, sounding a lot like a threatening King Cobra.
“Well I’m sorry that my arm was falling asleep!” His whispers were equally as venomous, and like that we went back and forth, yelling at each other in angry hisses.
A long, harmonious whistle carried in with the wind from the slightly propped open window. I sighed, a relieved smile spreading my lips. I got up, stretched, and walked over to the window. My arm was raised in mid wave when I looked out. There, instead of the well built Rogue from England, stood a man in a uniform. My heart leapt and took off at a frantic speed, trying to break its way out of my chest to escape. If only I could do that. Incredibly enough, from afar he looked a lot like Alan, but that observation didn’t help. At all. My arm was still almost up when I heard Xavier scramble to his feet.
I tackled him back to the ground just fast enough so that he didn’t come into the cop’s view. I lay breathing heavy on top of him, my arms pressing his shoulder blades flat against the floor.
“Ow! What the-” Xavier began squirming under my hands, and looked at me with a are-you-fucking-crazy face. I lightened the pressure on his shoulders and pressed a hand against his mouth.
“Stay… low…” I waited a moment when I heard a creak downstairs. “Got it?” Xavier nodded his head and I let go of his mouth and sat down next to him, my body tensed for action.
“Why?” We were back on whispering terms.
“The police. They didn’t go away. One must have seen the tattoo…” I began talking to myself more than to Xavier. “But how? Their hair is long enough to cover it…” I began scratching at the corner of my left eye again.
“Chrissy! Hey, earth to Chrissy!” Xavier snapped his fingers in front of my face. I glanced at him, irritated then remember the situation. “What are we going to do?”
“Go downstairs. Convince him that who he saw was you, not me. He only saw my shirt, so lets trade.” I began tugging up my shirt when I looked at Xavier’s bewildered look. “What?”
“There is absolutely no way in hell I’m doing that!”
“Do you want to keep living or do you want to die in an abandoned lighthouse shot down by a coast guard cop?”
“Have you thought that maybe he might just kill me outside when he sees me?”
“He won’t do that! Now take your shirt off!” I leaned over and tried to force his shirt up.
“No! I’m not going to cover for you again. I’m done with this.” He yanked my hand away.
“Can’t you wait to be done with this after we get off this stupid island?”
“No!”
“Why!”
“Because you can go out!”
“I don’t know if you have noticed or not, but I’m not wearing my wrap. Or duct tape.”
“Like that matters? It’s dark outside. He won’t be able to see his own hand.”
I gave him the stupidest look ever. “We’re in a lighthouse. Lighthouse. You know, keyword ‘light?’” Xavier looked ready to protest but I stopped him. “Look,” I gave him my best glare that I’ve been working on with the mirrors in the facility, following Organizer’s instructions. “You don’t do this, we die.”
“There’s a chance we’ll die anyways if I go outside.”
I sighed and dropped my hands on my thighs then after a moment reached over Xavier‘s head. I flipped up the hair covering his right ear. “No tattoo. As long as you don’t do or say anything stupid, you’re okay. Now give me your shirt.”
“If I die-”
“I’ll die too, so don’t try threatening me.”
“Well, what am I supposed to do?” He began to take off his shirt while talking. “What do you want me to say?”
“That they’re fakes.” Xavier gave a blank look. And I rolled my eyes. “The Rogues. Tell the police that they’re fakes. That the tattoo was just for play. I’ll hide somewhere.” I reached out a hand when Xavier gave me his graphic shirt. I tugged up my shirt. Xavier blushed for some reason, but my mind blocked out any thought other than a single word- survive. I gave him the t-shirt Aaron lent me and threw it at him.
Suddenly, a crashing sound emitted from downstairs and I pushed Xavier towards the hatch. I took off to look around the small room for a hiding place. The only place I found was a closet filled with cloths thrown around. I glanced up and smiled. Above the opening of the door, the ceiling of the closet was high up. Slowly, I climbed up, using every muscle in my body. I reached the top of closet sooner than I thought and bumped my head against the top. I suppressed a string of profanity that almost rolled out of my tongue. I kept my upper body steady with my forearms and elbows, and with my knees I kept my legs and hips in place.
A few minutes later, someone raced up through the hatch and barreled into the closet door. I began to pray, and gulped once trying to breathe around the huge lump in my throat.
It didn’t take long for someone to open the closet door, for them to glance up.
“Gotcha!” Huge arms wrapped around my waist and pulled my body down from the ceiling from which I clung on like a ladybug clung onto a leaf. “Nowhere to run,” he whispered against my ear, amused. “Nowhere to hide.”