August 07, 2021
Taehyung POV
Life has been moving fast lately with all the different projects we have scheduled. Between the releases of multiple songs and music videos I haven't had the chance to just sit and think. The word rest is no longer a word in my vocabulary and I have been running on empty for a while. Today is one of those rare days that we don't have anything scheduled. I don't know if its because it was meant to be that way or if Jin and Min had anything to do with it. We are set to meet at Jin's parents house for a family dinner. I can't say I am excited for what's to come but I was not allowed to get out of it. Jin made it clear that we all had to be there and I am not the type to disappoint my hyung.
Maybe this is why I am still sitting in my car contemplating if I should get out and join the others inside. The guys, their significant others and Jin's family are not the problem. I enjoy my time with all of them and they are amazing to be around. The problem is Hwa-Young and her family. I haven't met them before and I feel no interest in meeting them. I know they are wealthy and very important people but I don't have the patience to deal with new people at the moment. I haven't had the patience for anything lately. I know, I a am not blind to the way I have been acting lately. I know the guys know too. My usual short fuse is non existent since everything that happened with Lily. Dance practice and rehearsals have been a pain which were always something I enjoyed. Now I cant wait for it to be over so I can stop being the fake cheerful person I am not.
I know I have been horrible to the staff mostly with Hwa-Young but I just can't help it. I see her and I get upset again. I can't explain it. Everything about her annoys me. From her soft dimples, gentle features to the way her feet are so small she could wear children's shoes. The way she always smells expensive but it's not overwhelming. The way she always eats the same thing for lunch. How she walks around with her head buried in her tablet that has become her life line. The way she knows what I want before I can say it. The fact that she has multiple smiles and each one is prettier than the next. The smile she uses with the other staff is always warm and respectful. The one she saves for the other members is kind and understanding. The one she shares with the girls is carefree and can light up the darkest of rooms. Unfortunately I only get to see those smiles when other people are around. She does not have a smile for me and I think thats mainly my fault. It's already enough that every time she looks at me its feels like she can see my soul I think if she ever smiled at me the way she does with everyone else she might blind me or hypnotize me. She scares me. Maybe thats why I wont let myself think about the way she felt when she was on top of me.
I hear my phone ring at the right time stopping me from thinking further about how I want our encounter to repeat. I look at my screen and Lily's picture we took at Disney last year appears. Her smiling face, the princess castle in the background and her Little Mermaid themed Mini Ears take me back to that magical day. The thoughts of Hwa fade away as I wish I could go back to that day and do everything all over again. I answer her video chat even tho I don't want to look away from that picture.
"Hi Tae" her smiling face appears and I force myself to smile back.
"Hi" I say wondering the reason for her call this late in the day. Her usual call time is early in the morning in Korea and about the same time she is getting ready for bed.
"Why are you in your car? Where are you going?" she questions with a suspicious tone as I watch her look beyond me.
"I am outside of Jin's parents house" I answer.
"Why are you there?" Lily's tone has turned annoyed and lately this is the Lily that I have been dealing with. Ever since she broke up with me she has become this other person I didnt know existed. She is jealous and frustrated and that was something I had never expected from her.
"Jin's parents invited all of us to dinner and Jin promised that if we didnt go we would go 3 months without his cooking and you know me and my food" I say in a joking matter trying to ease up the tension in the car.
"When are you going home?" my words seem to fail when she continues her questioning.
"I shouldn't be too late. I will eat and head home" I try to control my tone not wanting to upset her further.
"Can I call you later once you are home?" Lily's demeanor changes and she seems to be back to the Lily I know.
"Yes I will call you on my way home. How was your day today?" I really look at the screen and her face fills most of it. She is more beautiful than ever but her personality has changed so much. Nothing like the girl I met two years ago. I know she must also feel miserable about our break up but she seems to be taking it out on me. I know this has to be the root of my attitude change and how horrible I have been behaving lately but I can't blame her and I can't be away from her either.
"Had a test today, I dont think I did well but only time will tell" her greens eyes are full of worry contradicting her statement.
"I am sure you did great" I say hoping my words will cheer her up but she only shrugs.
"I'll let you go so you can join the others" Lily gets closer to the screen. "You look very handsome" she almost whispers and I cant hide my pleased smile.
"I will call you soon" I say again reassuring her and myself that she will be in my thoughts all night. With that she hangs up the call and I look at the house again this time prepared to go inside and just get this over with so I can go back to my girl. Well not my girl but go back to who I really want to be with tonight.
One of the maids greets me after a few knocks and once the door is open I can tell why it took her longer than normal to answer. The full house is loud with the sounds of the others having their conversations. I am led to the living room which has become very familiar to me after sharing many dinners with the Kims.
"Taehyung welcome" Mrs. Kim is the first one to notice me in the room followed by Mr. Kim and eventually the others. After saying my hellos to the guys and hugging my sisters in laws I am introduced to whom I believe are Hwa's mom, step father and step brother. The Pak Family. Hwa's mom is nothing like I expected. What Jimin had described is this old sophisticated woman with a stick up her ass but in front of me is an older version of Hwa. She is almost as beautiful as her daughter but in a different way. Where Hwa has innocent eyes. This woman has judgement written all over her face. She is younger than I thought but her clothes and posture make her look 10 years older. Her husband is a typical business man with a forgettable face and personality. The step brother which I believe is named Dae-Seong is young like me and he seems to be pretty handsome. His eyes are intimidating and something behind them pisses me off. Maybe is the way he looks at my sisters in law or maybe he just rubs me the wrong way.
After I am introduced to everyone I notice we are missing the main reason we are all here. Hwa is nowhere to be found. I avoid the need to ask where she is even tho I want to know.
"Dinner will be ready as soon a Hwa join us" Mrs. Kim announces and just like that Hwa appears at the entrance with the same maid who opened the door for me.
"I am so sorry everyone" Hwa bows her apology to the room.
"Honey you are finally here" Mrs. Pak exclamation is louder than expected and we all watch her get up from her seat to meet her daughter with a short hug. "You better have an explanation for making all of us wait for you" the almost non-existent hug is over but I cant help to notice how one of Mrs. Pak hands rests on Hwa's arm. "I have to apologize for my absent minded and tardy daughter" she continues not letting Hwa say a word. "Please tell us what made you this late?" her question is directed at her daughter but she does not take her eyes away from the center of the room where everyone else is.
"The taxi hit a little traffic" Hwa's eyes are to the floor and I am pretty sure I am not the only one in the room that can feel her mom's disgust at her daughter's words.
"You took a taxi?" Mrs. Pak exclaims in pure indignation.
"Yes Mother I took a taxi" Hwa's quiet snark reply earns her a squeeze to the arm by her mother's hand and I think I am the only one that notices.
"Well Dae-Seong will take you home tonight, I cant have my daughter take another taxi at any hour of the night" Mrs. Pak pulls Hwa deeper into the room and now that they are closer I can see the imprint of Mrs. Pak hand on Hwa's arm.
"No need for apologies. I am just glad Hwa made it to us safely" Mrs. Kim words end the uncomfortable conversation.
The dinner is pretty much quiet which is very different from previous dinners we have had together and I cant help but think that I was not the only one to notice the way Hwa's mom treated her. The girls who are usually talking about the babies are as quiet as a mouse. There is no swapping stories between Ella and Ara about what cute things the kids did this morning. No words from Min and Sun about how they cant wait until they babysit again so they can take the kids to the park. The guys are quiet as well with no talk of work or the new hobbies they have been trying. Yoongi and Namjoon havent taken their phones out to show pictures of the babies. Jin, JK and Jimin havent talked about their video games. This is very unusual and I think Mrs. and Mr. Kim notice because they open a conversation with Mrs. and Mr. Pak.
"So Jong-Dae any idea on when your son is officially taking over the company? Your retirement date is soon approaching" Mr. Kim ask as we wait for the desert to be served.
"We have a date picked out but we are waiting on one of our mergers to complete before we make the date public" Mr. Pak answer with what I think is his fake political smile.
Mr. Kim visually surprised by the news asks. "I was not aware your company was in the middle of a merger"
Mrs. Pak who has been quiet since the incident speaks. "Honey sometimes you forget we are not in the office" She delicately pats her husband on the shoulder while looking at Hwa whom Jimin made to sit between the both of us. I know he wanted her to be as far as possible from Dae-Seong but I was not expecting him to sit her next to me. "We are hoping our lovely daughter will accept Dae-Seong's proposal" I dont know why her words fire up something inside of me but I am not the only one. I can hear Jimin scoff out loud and by looking at the others I know they feel the same way. Their faces turn from concern to anger in seconds. "Hwa-Young can be very independent and I know she has been avoiding the subject for some time now while she chases her silly dream of becoming a world renown painter but she will not find a more suitable groom." Mr. and Mrs. Kim seem to be speechless like the rest of us. For what feels like an eternity no one speaks or makes a sound. I think they are all processing how Hwa's mom just dismissed her daughter and her dreams. Now I understand when Jimin said that they treated her like property and not a human being. I on the other hand dont know how I feel. All I can concentrate on is the way Dae-Seong looks at Hwa like she is a piece of meat. There is this animalistic need to step in from of Hwa and growl at him. I know I havent been the perfect gentlemen towards her in any way but I cant stand someone else treating her like that.
"Mother this is not the time or place to talk about this" Hwa breaks the silence in the room. You can hear the defeat in her voice probably from all the times she had to stop this conversation before.
"Honey is about time we talk about this" Mrs. Pak frustration turns into sarcasm. "It's not my fault that you've been too busy and we havent seen you in over a month"
"Mom please" Hwa pleas do something to me. I can't stand hearing her like this anymore.
"Hwa-Young you should feel very grateful that Dae-Seong has offered to marry you." Mrs. Pak moves forward in her seat to be closer to Hwa and this time she speaks in a loud whisper. "This independent life was fun for a bit but it's time for you to finally settle down and Dae-Seong is the perfect guy for you"
Someone in the room clears their throat and my eyes wonder around to find who it was. I am hoping that at any moment one of the guys is going to jump up and say something but they are probably stunned by everything happening in front of us. They most likely do not want to get involve in family matters and show disrespect to Mr. and Mrs. Kim's home.
"Mother I think we should leave this topic for a later time" Dae-Seong breaks his silence and now that I hear his voice it's something else that pisses me off about him. "Hwa and I can talk about it tonight on our way to her house. This conversation should be between the both of us" his words infuriate me and the thought of Hwa being alone with him in his car turns my something vile in my stomach.
"I think I should say something" Jimin speaks but I impulsively interrupt him.
"Jimin I think I should be the one to tell them" I feel Hwa's eyes on me and something inside makes me continue. "The reason Hwa has not been able to give a response to the proposal is" I pause not knowing where I am going with this. I turn to Jimin for help but he looks at me with confusion. For a second I remember the conversation we had in the van where Jimin expressed his idea of having a fake relationship with Hwa. "we are dating" I blurt out the words not really believing that I am saying them. I look to my side and Hwa's mouth is opened in disbelieve and behind her Jimin's eyes are understanding and I know this is exactly what he was going to say before I interrupted him. He was going to tell them he was dating Hwa.
"This is so unexpected" Mrs. Pak can't hide her smile of approval. She thought that Dae-Seong was the best suited groom with him being the new CEO of a multi million company but that does not compare to a World Wide known idol who's net worth is ten times more than her husbands company. I move my eyes to Dae-Seong's angry face and I am pretty sure fumes are coming out of his ears and this makes me very happy inside. With this new found pleasure I look at my members and they are all confused. I know I will have to explain this to them later but right now I am enjoying my win over this jerk.
"That's great news my boy!" Mr. Kim exclaims and I meet his eyes with a smile.
"Yes this is so wonderful" Mrs Kim is next to speak and her words are sweet as always.
"How long has this been going on?" Mrs. Pak smile is bigger now and she moves her body to be closer to our side of the table as she directs the question to her daughter. I can't explain how but I can feel Hwa tense up without even looking at her.
"Just over a month" I answer worried that Hwa who has been quiet all this time will speak up and deny all my lies. "We were planning on waiting a few more months before making it official to our families" I move closer to Hwa and I grab her hand in mine. I ignore the shock of her touch and I try to concentrate on my lie. "but seeing that Dae-Seong" I look at the guy who is the cause of this outburst and tighten my hold on Hwa's hand. "Needed a response to his proposal it's only fair that he knows that Hwa is taken" I emphasize the last word and I meet his eyes. For a second the thought of grabbing Hwa and placing her in my lap crosses my mind. My pants become tighter as I imagine kissing and biting marking her mine in front of everyone.
Thankfully dessert ends soon after and I for some reason don't let go of Hwa's hand until its time for us to get up and move back to the living room. We get separated by the girls who take Hwa away before I can say anything to her. I don't even know if she is ok with everything that just happened. The guys who are still in shock approach me and ask if anything I said was truthful but before I can answer Jimin reminds them that this had been his idea and with that I don't have to explain anything else. I don't have to tell them that even though the "dating" part is a big lie I have been messing with Hwa for a while now. I don't have to say that sometimes I close my eyes when I in my bed and images of what we did together fill my head and I relieve myself remembering her wetness and smell.
As the night progresses the guys start to head out with their wives and before I know it the only ones left are both generations of the Kims and the Pak family. I should had left a long time ago like I promised Lily but the thought of leaving Hwa with her family after the mess I created does not sit well with me. I don't know what's wrong with me tonight but something inside just wants to protect her against everyone who dares to look at her. Maybe this is why as soon as the guys left I took a seat next to Hwa and again I am holding her hand in mine. I thought she would hesitate or refuse me at the beginning but she didn't flinch even though I felt the same jolt of electricity. Her parents have been so busy with the Kim's they havent had a chance to ask us anymore questions. Mr. Pak and Jin's dad have been talking about their company for almost a hour now not leaving any space for anyone else to speak out of respect of the elders. Jin and Min seem to be in their own little world whispering to each other and I can only imagine the main topic. Mrs. Pak and Mrs. Kim just listen to their husbands and haven't said a word in a long while.
"Well this was certainly a very happy and joyous dinner" Mr. Kim exclaims as he and Mr. Pak get up from their seats to bow. The rest of the room follows along knowing the visit is finally over. I decide to let go of Hwa's hand since having her this close has been an unexpected torture.
"Brother see you at practice tomorrow" Jin approaches with his hands extended ready for a hug which I take without hesitation. On the corner of my eye I watch Min get closer to Hwa and they also hug.
"Hyung I am surprised you have stayed quiet all this time" I laugh at my own comment followed by Jin's windshield wiper laugh.
"It's hard to say something when you kids are always giving me a heart attack with your announcements" his laugh is contagious and I don't know how anyone can resist it.
"I do forget you are getting older now" I whisper so the joke stays only between us and I am met with his iconic "Yah! This kid"
Distracted by my conversation with Jin I don't look behind me until I hear a male voice "Hwa are you ready to go?" I turn around to notice Dae-Seong who was on the other side of the room is now standing next to Hwa holding the back of her arm.
"Can't this guy take a hint" I say under my breath and I walk towards them and with each step I try to control my building rage. Once I am inches from Hwa I take her hand and link my fingers with hers. "No need I will take my girlfriend home" I pull on Hwa so she is closer to me than she is to Dae-Seong. I proceeded to stare him down. If he can't take the hint I will have to beat it into him. He watches me as I lower my eyes to where he is grabbing Hwa and I growl. I can't believe I actually growl. It's not loud enough that he hears me. I don't even think I heard myself correctly but just like that he let's go of her arm and takes a step back.
I pull on a quiet Hwa again and without letting go of her hand we both say goodbye to the parents. I can't wait to get out of this house every second spent here adds to my rage. I don't give enough time for Hwa to adjust to my speed and I practically drag her out of the house. I open my passenger door and lead her inside without saying a word. I know I look scary at the moment and the last thing I want is to take my rage out on her like I have done in the past. Not after tonight not after the way her parents treated her like she is nothing. Once I am in the driver seat I take a deep breath and start the car. I am thankful she is quiet and won't even look at me. I drive as fast as I legally can and try to breathe but it does not work. I can't really pin point why I am so mad but I can't stop it. I don't know if it's because I have officially linked my life with Hwa or the way I did it without hesitation. Is it because I was already predisposed with everything that has happened with Lily? Or is it because of the way Dae-Seong looked at Hwa?
Once we are out of the affluent neighborhood where Jin's parents live I pull the car to the side of the dark and isolated road. With my rush to get out of that house I had completely forgotten that I don't know where Hwa lives.
"Which way is your house?" I ask without taking my eyes off the road.
"You can drop me off at the next bus stop" Hwa's voice which I haven't heard in hours sounds disappointed. It forces me to look at her. I mean really look at her. Tonight I haven't left her side but I haven't really paid much attention to her. If I had I would have noticed how she looks defeated and just over it. I take more deep breaths and this time I make sure to regulate my voice. It's hard when your voice is as deep as mine but I still do my best.
"I am taking you home Hwa. I am not letting you go home by yourself. Please tell me where is your house?" She doesn't say anything but she moves her head in agreement. Once we are back on the road she instructs me on where to go and we make it to the familiar apartment complex in less than an hour. "Do you live with Hae?" I ask recognizing the place where I have been many times before.
"Yes" she says in the same small defeated tone.
"When did you start living together?" I ask trying to start a normal conversation hoping she will feel comfortable.
"This is my second week living here. I told the girls I was looking for an apartment and Ara had the idea and Hae loved it" looks like my strategy works because Hwa starts to find her voice.
"How are you liking it? You are probably not used to something like this" I say assuming the apartment does not compare to her mothers luxury home or her fathers home back in the States.
"I love it. Hae moved to a bigger place so I have my own room and after living in hostels and hotels it feels nice to have a place to call my own" she says and I watch her eyes as she stares at the building.
"I am sorry, I thought you lived with your parents" I say cursing at myself for assuming.
"I did live with my mom for 1 day and as you can probably tell by now. It was not that pleasant a hostel sounded like the better idea" she chuckles at her own words and I can't help but smile.
" I am sorry about tonight and what I said. I probably got us into a worse problem" I work hard on my apologetic tone wanting her to believe me. To my disappointment she turns to me and her face is emotionless. This is worse than before.
"No I should be the one to apologize. I am the one that put all of you in this situation by avoiding my parents." She lets out a long sigh and continues. "I will fix this as quickly as possible. You won't have to pretend for long. I will tell my mom that due to our busy schedule we have decided to end things" her words who are hypothetical hurt and I am not prepared for that.
"I don't think we should end it that soon" by her facial expression my words catch her by surprise. "If we end it now best case scenario she thinks you are lying but worse case scenario she will force you to marry your step brother." The fire in side of me lights up again with the thought of her marrying that man.
"That won't happen" she says matter of fact and the blank expression turns into determination.
"How do you know it won't happen?" I ask wondering if she has a different plan. She takes a deep breath and I watch as her chest moves up and down. This is the reason I don't look at her because everything she does intrigues me and puts me on a trance.
"I have been talking to my dad and I am planning to go back to the States" it takes me a second to process her words. Hwa would he leaving for ever and out of my life just like she entered. The thought bothers me more than I expected. Tonight is just filled with different unknown feelings. I turn my body to align with hers. I stare at her face and imagine how it will be when she is not here and I can't really picture it. Would I miss her?
The rage from before combined with a new found emotion takes over my whole body and as my eyes move down her face and to her lips. My whole being cries out for her touch. I can't control it anymore. Without giving her any warning I take her face in my hands and kiss her as hard and fast as possible. In this moment I want to take all of her. I want her scent to become my scent. I want her soft skin rubbing against mine and her hair caressing my naked chest. Feeling the need to be closer and closer I grab her hips and lift her up to place her on my lap. She does not refuse me nor holds back. She straddles me without any guidance taken from me. She feels as needy as I do and it makes it even hotter. I move my mouth to her neck wanting to breathe her in. I wouldn't admit this out loud but her smell makes me feel at home. I don't
know how or why. All I know is that I want this moment to last an eternity and now knowing that she could possibly leave the country has me wanting more of her.
In the back of my dazed brain I can hear a faint sound that will not stop. It takes me a second to realize that the sound is my ringtone. Before I can react Hwa pulls away and it seems she has already heard it. "You should answer it could be one of the guys" her after kiss glow blinds me for a second but the non stop ringtone makes it hard to fully enjoy it. To my disappointment Hwa proceeds to move off my lap and I check my phone to find Lilys picture on the screen. I let my head fall back on the head rest. I had completely forgotten about Lily and how late it was.
"Shit" is all I can say and I slide on my screen to answer the call. "Hello" is my next word as I close my eyes and run my hand through my make out hair.
"Why haven't you called yet? Are you already home?" Lily's questions are filled desperation. The sound of her voice hurts me.
"I am sorry. I was going to shower first and then call you" I say avoiding to look at the girl next to me.
"Does that mean you are home?" Lily asks needing for me to confirm my location.
"Yes I am already home" I answer and regret it as the words come out but not because I am lying to Lily but because the next thing I hear is the door of my car closing. Hwa probably guessed who was on the other line and I don't blame her but with that door closing something tugged at my heart.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these pictures and they were found on Pinterest. All rights are to their original owners.