Upon arriving on the top floor, it was thankfully quiet and deserted in the hall as Tifa and Dutch stopped at the door and she breathed out a sigh, sliding the key into the lock, Dutch leaned against the wall
"You seemed tense there, my dear" he noted, Tifa turned the door knob and opened it revealing a semi dark room
"I-Dutch...Why did you do that? I could have paid"
"Now what kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't assist my lady?"
H-his lady...?
Tifa shifted her eyes to him as she frowned her brows briefly, realizing what he said was not from her imagination
Why...would he say something like that?
Regardless, Tifa felt her cheeks warm up "W-well...Thank you but...Dutch...you weren't required to do anything"
"I'm aware, but In this case, I felt like it, I suppose" he answered simply
"Mhm, and I guess you didn't want to be at camp either" She wondered as Dutch tilted his head slightly
"Not when I saw you leave"
Tifa fingers fidgeted with the knob and Dutch noticed and he drifted his hand over to hers "Tell me what's wrong, Tifa" he pleaded, seeing she was not being as distant to him as she was outside, his fingers touched her hand gently and Tifa moved it into his palm as she sighed, looking down
"it's...just all thats happening, it's getting too much but...I'm sorry, if I seemed rude to you or tense, earlier...I didn't mean anything. I also didn't like the look that clerk gave you" she said in a softer tone, just in case some nosey individual was around then she moved a bit behind the door to let Dutch into the room, when he passed, she closed the door and locked it
Dutch nodded to what she said as he hung his hat on a wall hook as well as his gun belt, he was relieved she didn't say anything he feared she would say and took off his rings and slid them in his pocket. Tifa watched him as he did so, he stepped over to the big window near the bed, seeing the fog start to build up in the city streets with his back to her, he soon spoke
"And the other part...why were you pushing me away?"
Once again he caught her hesitating
"....like I said I have a lot on my mind"
"and since when did that stop you?" He questioned and Tifa looked down
since I realized my feelings may start to interfere....
"...."
"do you not want to confide in me anymore, Tifa"
Tifa felt a swelling pain in her heart emotionally "it has nothing to do with confiding in you" she whispered
"Then is it our situation with the Pinkertons...or the O'Driscolls"
Tifa had to use that excuse to get away from the subject of her being in love with him...even though she went over it numerous times in her head, she knew she would burst into tears
"Yes...Dutch, this is getting dangerous...and now that we're in Saint Denis...I just-"
"It's no big manner, my dear, the situation we pulled was on the outskirts, in Rhodes, here, we are just two individuals"
Tifa took off her black overcoat leaving just her white blouse and hung it on a hook next to his hat and belt, Dutch was eyeing her reflection in the window as she did that and blinked back to the street below as it started to rain outside
"I'm....just trying to be cautious, Dutch, sometimes it doesn't matter, people recognize faces and are so nosey that news spreads faster than wild fire--" she sighed as she went close to him "The law would know where we are soon enough..." Dutch turned around to face her as she reached out to him, he grazed her hand and held it
"I understand what you are saying but we will deal with it when it happens but for now at least, It will be fine, Tifa...now about what you were trying to say outside.."
Tifa looked down and felt her tears build up, as thunder rumbled softly outside. the way he was so calm about these looming threats surprised her and not in a good way
"it-it doesn't matter...what else I was gonna say" she said in a discouraging tone, Dutch's eyes narrowed to her and caught her gaze
"If you willingly came out to this god forsaken place to escape for the night, I think it does matter"
Tifa felt Dutch's fingers begin to gently trace up her arms
"Why else would you leave camp?" He soothingly said almost making her go weak at the knees
Ever so clever, this man...He was not wrong
Tifa just didn't think he would care this much
Tifa closed her eyes as Dutch's hands made it to her shoulders and gave it a rub, she never did mind him touching her, it felt...nice, dare she say: good? He had done subtle touches before, which she always liked but she just enjoyed it more this time, maybe because they were alone?
No one to interrupt them
Taking in a small breath, Tifa reopened her eyes and shyly looked in Dutch's deep brown ones "Dutch...whatever you were gonna say...about us...I don't believe it...I can't"
Dutch removed his hands and gave her a serious look
"Why is that? Is there something wrong with thinking this way, Tifa?"
"....." Tifa felt her eyes sting with tears and found the words to speak after that hesitation, which Dutch caught immediately
"No...N-nothings wrong with it..I-It's just..." she started as she turned her back to him, taking a few steps away, toward the other window seeing the droplets of rain slide down outside and lightning flashed
Come on...Calm down
You went over this already...
But...I
I can't help the way I feel about him
Damn it!!
Tifa made a crying expression and tears snuck down her cheeks and landed on the floor, feeling her heart sting from the words she was about to say, she wiped them away, placed her hands together and leaned them to her chest "—You can't say those things to me, Dutch you-you're with Molly"
She stiffened when she heard his footsteps come closer behind her and felt both of his warm hands go on her cool skin and started to rub her arms up and down gently
"Would you change your mind if I said I never cared for her?" he whispered in her ear, sending shivers down her back, feeling his warm breath close to her skin "What I want: is you and I can't hide it any longer Tifa, if you will have me...I want us to be together"
She shook her head slightly, trying her absolute best to keep her feelings at bay "Dutch...please" Tifa begged him softly, tightening her hands as her heart continued to ache from within, but Dutch wasn't going to let up
"Listen, I know you feel the same as I, even if we continue to pretend at camp...you can't deny it. even in Valentine, you said you wanted me"
Tifa was shocked, she couldn't recall saying that to him "W-when did I-I don't remember that..."
Dutch had a look of disappointment in his eyes, as the troubled brunette turned to face him and their eyes met though he couldn't exactly blame her cause she was under the influence of liquor
"No, I suppose not....But allow me to enlighten you: You were very drunk that night when you went with Arthur and Lenny, and I happened to arrive in time to catch you from falling into the mud"
"What...were you doing there, Dutch?" She asked softly
"Same reason as I came tonight: I was worried about you"
Her cheeks fell hot at those words, but she hoped to god she did not say anything stupid to him
"Oh...then...I guess I drank too much and fainted?"
Dutch nodded a bit, quickly glancing at the wall then back to her
"More or less"
Tifa swallowed nervously "Is that...why I awoke in your tent that following morning?"
Once again, Dutch nodded to her but fully this time "Correct, but you were very forward...I'll say"
Tifa became flustered "Dutch...wh-what did I say to you? Please don't lie to me"
"Wouldn't dream of it, my dear" Dutch said as he took her hands into his own and looked in her eyes when she looked from their hands touching "In short, you said for me to kiss you...you did not care about our age difference and if I didn't see there was something between us, I'd be lying to myself" he said in a low serious voice
Yep...she did say something stupid!
Tifa couldn't believe it. what she said was something she hid deep down, she felt very embarrassed and groaned softly "I'm such a god damn fool" she mumbled
"Then I would call myself one as well, cause even if you were drunk saying those words...I believed what you said"
Tifa felt her cheeks warm up as he continued
"As for myself, well I realized the one I wanted was right under my nose the whole time...a long time ago now"
Tifa looked surprised but saw genuine honesty within those brown orbs and vulnerability?
Dutch Van Der Linde
The man who was so sure of everything, who always had words to say in any situation
Was she looking at the same man?
"Truth is, I can't stop thinking about you" his voice shuddered, making her blush yet again
"Dutch...All of this, what you feel...it's just for...Me?" Tifa asked hesitantly, it was more in reassurance. She flinched slightly, not expecting to feel Dutch caress her cheek with the back of his knuckles, as he leaned his forehead against hers
"Yes Tifa, it's always been you...the one I am deeply in love with"
That did it...
Tifa felt her heart ache once again but at those words and braced herself to let her buried feelings come out finally, this time not under liquors influence
"Dutch..." Tifa whispered looking at Dutch's handsome face, his warm brown eyes stared into hers as he muttered three words "I love you"
Still so shocked she heard it so openly Tifa timidly spoke up while blushing profusely
"I-I um...just—thought...what I felt for you was just deep admiration...but in my heart, it wasn't just that.." she whispered with more tears threatening to fall
"And what was it, Tifa?" Dutch asked teasing in a gentle way, making Tifa lean her forehead against his with her trembling fingers going up to gently touching his stubble
"Me being in love...I feel the same way about you, Dutch..." she said meekly, moving her head away from his and their eyes met again "Regardless of all the things you have done prior..., I love you too...so much" she said with more confidence in her voice this time and a warm smile appeared under his mustache
All those memories Tifa had of him and the gang were already so great but fear loomed over her head as her feelings grew for Dutch these past long months. Her tears flowed fast down her cheeks and he wiped them away gently, though on the inside he felt relief she did not reject his feelings
"Tifa...At first,...my only desire was to protect you at all costs...but in time,...I wanted more" Dutch whispered and Tifa meekly smiled, she really hated appearing weak in front of him, now that she did not deny what her heart wanted. Ever since she first laid eyes on Dutch in blackwater, joining in his gang of misfits, slowly falling in love with him and no matter the danger she wouldn't give any of it up for the world
Dutch's eyes met hers, and right away Tifa could see he looked so tired, lost and yet hope still glistened within, even if it was only a tiny glimmer of it. So easily Dutch could open up to her and share what he was thinking when he could, at camp and she appreciated that
"Dutch...You need to know...I believe in some form what you want to achieve and I won't regret it..." she said "the pressures you're under; the Pinkerton's, O'driscolls...they are my problem too, you're not alone in any of this, Dutch...don't ever feel like you are" Tifa said in a soft voice, Dutch closed his eyes and spoke
"Thank you" he said as his lips kissed her forehead, making Tifa blush "with you by my side,..I know...and I am evermore grateful to you and your light"
...His light
"Of course" she whispered smiling at him gently
"But there's no denying, I am a fool, Tifa" he said standing up, with his back to her, he ran his hand through his black hair "I feel that way all the time these days"
Tifa's smile disappeared she stood up too and approached him, one of their hands soon touched and she used her free hand to rub his back gently, hoping it would give him some form of comfort
"...the world you knew is changing, and at a rapid pace sadly, Dutch" She said, referring to the "wild times"
"I'd be more of a fool to keep denying that simple fact, more than you can imagine, I need to stop, I know it, but if I do, it would be too late to lead a happy life and the law would catch up when my guard is down" he turned to face her
"How do you know that, Dutch?" Tifa whispered to him as their eyes met and Dutch's free shaky hand went up and caressed her cheek gently
"When you've been running from them as long as I have...you just know these things...but despite it...Now...I want that happy life with you, Tifa...that thought of stopping for good, it doesn't seem so farfetched anymore, those thoughts infest my mind with ecstasy...having a second chance...but then they pull me back to the point where I feel like I'm breaking; shadowing that future I desire with you"
Tifa leaned her head against his chest and they embraced. It felt like he was reading one of his books...she feared Dutch would die for what he strived for. The amount of stress he was constantly under had to be beyond exhausting for him and damaging to his mental health not to mention his paranoia of those losing confidence in his gang...Tifa let out a soft sigh, accepting his death her own self would be too much, the very thought of it made her sick
"it's okay to have those happy thoughts...and it's never too late to start over, Dutch" she whispered, Dutch rubbed her hand as she continued "right now, if you wanted: we can disappear...Together...I feel we can accomplish it if we take a chance...it can be —Our dream"
"Yes...but we need more money for that..." he answered Tifa shook her head "we can make money the right way...over time" then he looked at her, feeling her to be his one ray of hope for that life, he would desperately cling on to even in his darkest hour
"one day.......we shall see our dream realized"
Tifa felt his strong arms sneak around her waist, pulling her up against his body, then that same fear plagued her thoughts once again...she felt a lump form in her throat
What if something did happen while their guard was down...?
Any moment could be their last...
The law...
Just one bullet could end Dutch...end their dream, permanently
...
No...I can't think that way...
"Tifa...?" Dutch called noticing her grip on him was tightened and shaky, she looked at him again, with worry etched on her face
"Dutch...I-I'm afraid to lose—"
She didn't finish because a warm pair of lips captured hers in a gentle kiss, her eyes widened but then closed them and kissed him back, the touch of his hands and arms that were now encircled around her back was so mesmerizing, her hand rested on his chest as they synced their lips in another kiss once more and Dutch pulled away, leaning his forehead against hers
"—you..." she whispered
"Tifa...You won't lose me" he assured her
Tifa deeply hoped he would keep his word...but something still was on her mind
"I...-"
Dutch moved away to look at her, with a troubled expression on her face
"What is it?" He asked gently brushing away a bit of her long hair that slid in front of her chest and moved it to her back with his hand brushing her shoulder
"....What about Molly?"
Dutch's hand jolted to a stop as he moved his hand out of her soft hair and shook his head, having an unfazed expression
"Why on earth are you wondering about her?"
Tifa looked at him "Aren't you? Dutch, more than anything I want to be with you but...with her around...it's just...not right"
"Tifa, if having what I want is wrong,...I don't care"
Tifa blushed but looked down as he continued
"Listen, I chose you and I stand by that choice. Miss O'Shea has no say in anything concerning you and me, try as she may to think otherwise" he said as his hand cupped her chin and brought it up so her teary eyes were looking at him "as I said earlier, I do not care for her, trust me"
Tifa hesitantly nodded to him, as tears came down her cheeks and Dutch wiped them away gently
"Let your heart...come to me as mine will to you...together. As one" Dutch said as Tifa felt the thumping of his heart beat wildly just as hers was, while her other fingers touched the gold chains on his vest
Now thinking back, Tifa had no idea why she cared about being fair to Molly when the Irish woman just saw her as a thorn in her side she wished her morals didn't hold her back when she started to feel something more for Dutch, she was not denying her feelings but didn't want to act on them....til now. What would she have to lose by trying with him? Tifa nodded again but to herself and felt more confident in what was about to happen
"Alright, Dutch..." she whispered as Dutch's hand traveled up to his chest to grasp her hand gently, their fingers interlaced slowly "...my heart..my body...it's yours. Show me how much you love me"
Those very words sparked something in Dutch's eyes
"With pleasure"
and without another word, he slid his fingers behind her neck, into her dark brown hair and pressed his lips on hers tenderly and she kissed him back with no hesitation this time, though her cheeks warmed up so much as his soft mustache tickled her upper lip
Dutch couldn't contain the emotions he was feeling toward this woman as they continued to kiss each other passionately, his hands trailed Tifa's arms as she laced them around his neck, while he deepened their kiss, his hands slid down her body, to her slender waist gripping it as his tongue invaded her mouth, her tongue played around with his and soon Dutch lead her down to the bed with his arm holding her back and guided her to lay on the green velvet blanket, soon they parted Tifa's eyes fluttered open, a little dazed by that intense kiss with him and saw Dutch look at her, she thought she did something wrong
"What?" She asked shyly, immediately becoming nervous "You okay?"
"Of course, It's just...I've never felt this fiercely about anyone before..." he confessed feeling his face warm up suddenly
"Me neither.." Tifa whispered shyly as she calmed herself, he continued "Not even for...Annabelle...You are truly something special, like I always assumed, hah...what are you doing to me, my Tifa?"
It was rhetorical of course, he knew what she was doing to him and he had no intention of letting her go
Once again...Tifa was at a loss for words, it was always Dutch that made her draw a blank
"Dutch..."
she shivered slightly, feeling his warm hands wander up her waist, his eyes seductively stared at her body making her start to blush and loving his tender touches as she always did, the way he caressed her body definitely shown he knew how to make a woman feel good due to his past experiences, though Tifa was certain he was doing things differently with her
"Tifa...I...want to be saved, by you" he confessed, with his fingers pulling down her strap to her corset as he continued "My new dream...is to spend the rest of my days with you"
Tifa could hear the sincerity in his voice and was throughly enjoying his lips pepper kiss her skin she moved to his touch slowly as her fingers laced through his slick black curls and gripping it gently as he nipped her neck and sucked on it, soon swelling it with his love marks on her delicate creamy skin
"Mm...m-me too...Trust me to always be by your side" she whispered as he went to kiss her lips once more and Tifa kissed him back, moaning softly as he lowered down, his hands on the curves of her body was something she only dared to day dream about, imagining this very thing was nothing to actually experiencing it and boy, did it feel so good
== ya'll know what's next 😏