as the dark night settled upon us. the trucks disbursed leaving slowly out of the driveway.
"it's time for me to go." the young man stated a towel wrapped around him and his wet clothes.
i smiled and gave him a warming hug. i didn't care that he was wet. i just wanted him in my embrace.
and not even in a sexual way.
it had been a while since i had physical contact outside of the night at the club. i just couldn't bring myself to do it. not after all i went through.
every touch layered upon me frightened me. i could never escape the events of that night.
it forever scarred me and continued to. i asked myself countless times what i had done for me to deserve that.
i asked god for an answer but he looked away. ignoring me. and though he did i never lost faith.
i'd cry myself to sleep, holding my self, telling myself that i'd be okay when i knew i wouldn't be. no one could comfort me, no one could convince me to forget.
not even my own mother.
and as hard as that was for her.. and me. it didn't feel right talking to her about what happened.
saying it out loud would only make it true and i didn't wanna believe that. i wanted it all to be a dream but the moment my eyes open i was forced into reality. it was real.
i sighed into the hug before pulling away. "what's your name?" i whispered softly.
"ezra. ezra mosheyev." from his accent and the sound of his last name i immediately knew he was russian.
he smiled and walked to his truck. with him leaving, it left eight people. the six guards, posted to watch us. and billie and i.
the actual residents in the house. i watched him leave, convincing myself that i wasn't stalling.
stalling so that i could delay the moment i'd have to come face to face with her. he waved once more before leaving forcing a small smile.
and then he was gone. the moment hadn't lasted long before i had to meet her, see her.
i couldn't understand why i was so nervous. i had never been this way in all my years of living. i could feel my insides twist as i walked into the house.
i closed the door behind me before going to find billie.
i searched the never ending house only to come at a lost. she was no where to be found but i continued until i stumbled upon a door.
i opened it, the door creaking loud with each move it made. it was pitch black but i swear i could see a black figure.
there were nail marks indented into the wooden stairs forcing my heart to skip a beat.
but once a light flickered on, a silent tear ran down my cheek in pure horror. billie stood at the bottom of the stair's, soaked in blood.
as if she was baptized in it.
the dim light that only put enough light on her body began flickering on and off. the darkness engulfing her everytime it fully went off.
a pile of bodies surrounded her feet as she smiled in ecstasy.
her eyes met mine and that's when i froze. my heart beating at an animalistic pace as my feet stayed cemented to the floor, shock dwelling over my features.
i wanted to run but my body was betraying me. it was under the command of another.
my sight began to blur from the tears welling into my eyes. my mind was scattered with thoughts all until i heard a distant voice call my name. "mileena." the voice spoke lowly.
"mileena." i was snapped out of my trance. the door to the basement was closed. i leaned against it staring into incessant space.
"are you okay?" i directed my sight to the person in front of me. billie.
a billie that was covered in not one ounce of blood.
"are you okay?" she whispered once more, placing her hand on the side of my neck. i nodded still in a daze.
i wanted to hold back my tears but i couldn't. a silent tear running down my hot cheek at the realization that i was most likely mentally insane.
like mother like daughter.
i pushed billies hand away, but she gently grabbed my arm, holding me back. "hey, what's wrong?" she walked up to me, brushing my tears away with her thumb.
i was tense at her touch.
i couldn't understand why she was treating me like this. not when her reputation told me otherwise.
it told me that she was dangerous so why was she cradling me, caring? i remained quiet. my breath moving at an unsteady speed.
"look at me, mileena." she grabbed me gently. "breathe in, breath out." she demonstrated. "come on, you can do it." her tongue ran over her lips.
a part of me was mentally pleased at the sight of her but another part of me was frightened at the sight of her.
she seemed different. much more different then the woman i interviewed at the asylum. maybe it was the brick walls making her tense.
i could understand how she was feeling. free, untouched. i had felt that many times throughout my life.
times i had escaped my immense depression.
"in and out, angel." her voice was calming. it was rough and hoarse but made me feel relaxed.
the only time i had heard this was from a app. and even then it didn't help. but she did, she was.
my shoulders were slumped, breaking my tensed posture. my breath slowed as i followed her words. "good girl." she whispered.
i opened my eyes to see a focused billie. her eyes gazing into mine. blue on green. ocean against forest.
as she gazed, it felt as if she was reading me. reading the story in my eyes. the story each different color of green told.
and i didn't like it. i didn't like when people tried to read me. tried to understand me.
i was broken. that was it.
my childhood was taken from me. and it wasn't fair. sent to therapists left and right by my mother who said she'd never make me go again.
she was the one who needed it. she was the one who needed help.
she promised after the first session i would never have to go again. i didn't need it. i was good at keeping things in.
my therapist said it wasn't good, that one day all the things i held in would implode and possibly destroy me but i ignored her.
id destroy those around me before i destroyed myself. i loved me entirely too much. and i would never listen to a hypocrite.
she had problems of her own. anyone could see it, she was as clear as glass. i wasn't about to let her tell me what was morally right or wrong.
i wanted to be in control for once but i wasn't. never could be.
i ripped my eyes from billie. loathing what she might have discovered about me. my vision took sight to the camera above us and i swiftly moved from her grasp.
hope casting over me. hope that the footage didn't go directly to my boss. i wasn't sure how it worked but i was hoping that the universe was on my side.
"do you wanna tell me what happened?" she asked calmly, following me.
"no." i stated simply.
it was late and i hadn't eaten all day. i wasn't gonna sit around and talk about my problems with her like this was group therapy, especially when she was murderer.
she had enough of her own.
the cabinets were filled with food and a smile slowly spread across my face, washing away the sadness, and terror i felt.
food fixed everything. i was in awe at all the choices.
"are you going to cook something?" billie asked, leaning over the island counter.
why would i be in the kitchen if i wasn't?
i nodded and continued my search through spice village. i knew what i wanted to make i just needed spices.
"make something vegan." she authorized.
"i'm sorry are you the one making the food or me? if you want something vegan make it yourself."
i furrowed my eyebrows. i was not her maid. maybe she was used to people doing what she wanted but i wasn't one of those people.
at least not yet.
she walked around the island, remaining quiet as she walked up to me. "who are you talking to?" she pressed her front against my back.
i could faintly hear her mumble something.
"you." i responded, my heart not beating as fast as it usually would.
"if i want something i get it. i have a feeling you'll learn that the hard way." she whispered against my ear.
i pushed her away from me and she began laughing. there was still cameras, and she was acting like we were alone.
to the person watching the cameras it'd look like billie was pressing herself against me.. which she was but not in the way you would think.
if she was a normal client it could be understandable. the inappropriate actions.. but she wasn't normal.
she was far from it actually.
she was a cold blooded killer. she had yet to tell me the reason she killed all those innocent people but i knew it was because she liked the adrenaline.
the adrenaline made her feel powerful. maybe that's why she implies herself as a god.
i turned around to billie leaning against the counter with a box of cereal in her hand. a smirk on her lips as she popped individual pieces in her mouth.
"i could have you sent back to the asylum with a click of a button. you'll be the one to learn the hard way." i rolled my eyes.
i could hear her chuckle softly. it made my ears tingle, the sound of it was so pleasing. even if she did it in a condescending way.
"it's cute you think that." she popped another cereal in her mouth, amused at the girl in front of her.
"you're distracting me. get out of the kitchen." i began to pull out ingredients for what i was about to make.
"come on baby, you don't like my company?" she pouted sarcastically.
"baby?" i questioned, turning around with a curious look in my eyes.
"mhm.. is there something wrong?" she lowered her head, glancing up at me with hooded eyes.
she tilted her head, waiting for my response. the look in her eyes told me something, something unsettling.
i turned around, ignoring her. i turned on the stove and began preparing the meal.
"answer me. mileena." i ignored her once more. yes, she was capable of killing me, and hurting me something she said she'd never do
but why would she kill me for ignoring a simple question.
i heard her softly laughing before walking away. i knew i'd regret something, i just didn't know what or when.
the cops outside couldn't stop anything if she decided to hurt me. all it would take is a stab to the neck, stomach, leg.
and i'd be helpless.
the simple meal was almost finished. i drained the noodles and added toppings. green onions, toasted sesame seeds, and parsley.
i stepped back and admired the presentation. only before furrowing my eyebrows.
what the fuck was wrong with me? how had i made that mistake? how had i even known the ingredients?
i made a vegan dish and turned around only to be met with billie.
"where the fuck did you come from?" i held onto my chest. my heart slamming against my ribcage.
why was she always so quiet with her movement.
"heaven." she whispered low to the point where i could almost here nothing, directing her vision away from me.
"what?" i questioned making sure i heard what i heard.
"nothing." she responded before taking the plate i had made. she sat down at the table analyzing it.
"billie.. that wasn't for you."
"oh but it was." she rose the fork to her mouth putting a mouth full. she moaned at the taste, making my body tingle.
"presentation, 10. execution, 10. taste, 100. fuck you're such a good chief." she took another bite. i smiled at her compliment.
but quickly stopped once i remembered she took my plate. i crossed my arms, my face emotionless.
i was starving.
"what's wrong?" she looked at me. i arched my brow. she was sitting there eating the food i made and she was asking what was wrong.
i only made enough for one person.
"come here." she ordered, but i stayed still. she stood twirling the noodles around the fork. the closer she came to me, the more i tensed.
"i'm not gonna hurt you." she whispered. with the close radius between us, she brought her mouth to my ear. "but when i tell you to do something, do it." she kissed my ear.
forcing my eyes to flutter shut. "open your mouth." i listened to her warning, opening my mouth in a daze.
she slipped the fork in my mouth and i hummed at how good it was. i really was a good cook, no one could argue.
"good, isn't it." i nodded, my doe eyes looking up at her. she put another spoon full in my mouth, slowly pulling the fork out this time.
fascinated by it, by me, i suppose.
she bit her lip as she watched me and i couldn't help but stare. i was admiring her, how perfect this human being was.. on the outside.
she took her thumb, and wiped the access sauce off my face. i couldn't fathom the sudden temptation coursing through my veins forcing me to take her thumb and put it in my mouth.
sucking the sauce off her finger seductively. she moaned softly as she watched me, sticking her thumb farther in my mouth.
control. she wanted control of every situation.
truthfully, if we're expressing our feelings, i was attracted to her. as much as i knew how wrong it was, i had an attraction towards her.
one that i couldn't let shed, though i had already shown her that i had interest.
if she was a bad person, why would she act like this around me? was it manipulation?
i slowly took her finger out my mouth and glanced towards the camera. she followed my line of vision.
"they can't see us." she stated simply. before glancing back at me. i didn't even have to ask, i knew she was telling the truth.
there was no reason to lie.
it meant that i'd have to be careful around her. i had no idea what she was capable of. i was living with a stranger.
a very attractive stranger.
one i couldn't let inside my head. not yet. but i had to get inside hers, i knew she was intrigued by me and i'd use it in my favor.
i knew how'd i get information out of her. it'd take a bit of acting but maybe, just maybe it wouldn't be an act.
maybe it would be verdadera. i smiled in thought before leaving her in the kitchen without another word said.
she was flustered but i was only returning the favor. much like how she left me after the kiss.
a breathing mess.
she liked when people listened to what she wanted. she wanted me to be submissive. so i'd play the part.
oh but i was so much more then that.
she'll see.