We drive through Clue, toward the cabin holiday park next to Koff Falls. As I'm in the back seat and my parents drive, I look out the window at the landscape flying by.
"Oh, look at that huge historic mansion!" I yell out, pointing toward the sign out front, The Red Wing Historic Mansion – PERMANENTLY CLOSED.
"I see it," my friend Pam also spots it, turning back to see it through the back window, "That's the place I was telling you about, they found a bunch of bones – dead women. A serial killer lived there. He still hasn't been caught."
"Are you serious? That's so creepy," I murmur, feeling cold as we drive by.
"Luckily we won't be anywhere near that haunted mansion," Pam shrugs.
I nod and pick up a wet rag to wipe over my forehead because it's sweltering in the car. Our air conditioning broke, and my window is broken on this side, I can't put it down, "I can't wait to go swimming..." I sigh, "...are we there yet?"
"10 minutes away," my dad calls back.
"Keep yourselves well behaved, girls," my mum adds, while applying extra makeup, "This is a job opportunity for me, remember that, I need to make a good impression."
"Mum, come on, we're 19, not 6. Of course we'll be well-behaved," but I laugh manically.
"No flirting with any boys either," my father jokes around, smirking at us from the rear view. He was always stirring up drama. I kick the back of his chair half-heartedly.
"Don't embarrass me in front of Pam –"
"Then don't act like a kid," he laughs back.
"Can you two, stop, please, I am so nervous and trying to focus," my mum quietens us all down. My dad puts on the radio, and it's back in range, not fuzzy anymore.
We're not far out from Koff's Holiday Park.
We were going to stay for the week and my mum was hopefully going to get the job at the reception desk – since we were moving to Clue soon. My dad had already found a job as a teacher at the local high school.
Pam and I were close since forever and this was like a bit of a last thing that we'd do together, before we inevitably became distant.
As for me?
I didn't work and I never finished school. I'd spent the last two years, being a homebody.
I had severe anxiety – random attacks that would render me incapable of leaving the house for weeks at a time. But luckily, I could anticipate them. It's because I'd have this weird reoccurring dream. It was always the same. In the dream I would wake up, a cold kiss on my lips, smoke filling my nose, trapped in a burning house – as this strange ghost of a man made sure I burned. The entire time, I could feel it. I could feel myself dying.
I'd wake up mentally fucked up. Every. Time.
Because it felt so real.
No one really knew what to tell me, because the way I freaked out didn't follow any particular pattern besides that one dream. And I could also go weeks at a time, totally outgoing, carefree, happy, not afraid.
It's like I had two personalities.
Although I didn't admit that to anyone.
One girl was the dead one, the burned one.
The other was just me. Alive. Happy.
I don't know what it all meant... all I knew is it rendered me incapable of living a full life without interruption.
I just hope I can move past it one day.
Moving to a small quiet country town was one of my parent's attempts to help me. They uprooted their whole life to try and fix me... I was grateful... and guilty. But the decision had been made, and I hoped moving to Clue would end up working out for all of us.
****
8pm
Pam and I have already gone swimming, and now we watch a movie in the cabin while my dad cooks us a barbeque outside on the veranda.
The door unlocks and I turn with a grin, to see my mum has returned from her day with the holiday park employees.
A whole interview in the morning turned into an immediate placement – and she now enters the cabin with a victorious smile.
She gives me the thumbs up, and I also notice there is someone behind her.
I only glance at the guy, rather I'm focusing on my mum speaking to me instead.
"I got the job, I wanted to introduce my family to my boss – Mr. Fontaine, he runs the park. Where's your dad?"
"Outside," I explain, pointing, while slowly standing up and flattening out of my yellow dress, while Pam stays on the couch and pauses the movie.
"Honey!" My mum calls out to my dad, and he immediately puts down the tongs and turns off the barbeque to come inside, already anticipating that it's good news.
I was going to walk around the couch but I've happened to look at Mr. Fontaine.
He is watching me, and he is frozen.
My mum's boss honestly seems as rattled by me, as I am by him.
Mr. Fontaine looks... super familiar...
I feel my heartbeat start to race illogically, as I look over his grey suit, and his slicked black hair and those blue eyes, resting on my face. He's young looking. Although not too young. Maybe his late twenties or early thirties.
"Mr. Fontaine, this is my husband, Ian," my mum introduces them, then waves over to me and my friend, "And my daughter, Alix – and her friend, Pamela."
"Hiya," Pam waves briefly, her arm over the couch as she watches the interaction, calmly.
My dad shakes Mr. Fontaine's hand. It goes well.
"She starts tomorrow," Mr. Fontaine tells my dad professionally, "Marcella is exactly what we needed. She did great."
"Alix," my mum whispers at me, "Come here. Say hello."
Mr. Fontaine's eyes immediately float back to me again.
I hesitate and then I move around the couch and I approach, focusing on approaching my mum's side.
I stand with her, as I face Mr. Fontaine awkwardly.
I nod and meet his eye, slowly reaching out my hand, "Nice to meet you. Cool," I don't know why I add that part on, but he smoothly grasps my hand.
As our palms and fingers slide across one another, then lock together, I feel goose bumps immediately raise along my whole arm, and a coolness floats through my blood... a strange chill bolting down to my fingertips. A sucking feeling?
I quickly jerk my hand back, as my spine shivers.
"Are you a photographer, Alix?" Mr. Fontaine asks me, raising a brow, ignoring my wince.
"How do you know that?" I ask, rather mortified.
"I saw this camera," Mr. Fontaine motions to my camera next to my phone which I left on a small table close by.
"Oh. Yeah. I do," I answer.
"She loves photographing nature," my mum speaks for me.
"Always wandering off without telling anyone," my dad also says, snitching on me.
"There's plenty of hiking trails with beautiful views, you'll like it here," Mr. Fontaine tells me, but thankfully he doesn't focus on me any longer, he focuses on my mother, "See you tomorrow, it was nice to meet all of you. If you need any help settling into Clue – or finding any services, I have recommendations I can give you," Mr. Fontaine nods to my father, "In small towns, we look after one another."
Mr. Fontaine looks ready to go, when my mother perks up.
Oh, no.
I can feel it coming. I see the look on her face as she glances at me quickly, then looking to her new boss.
I stiffen.
"Maybe you can find my daughter a job," my mother blurts out, "Or if you know of any available positions... let Alix know. And I'll make sure she shows."
Mr. Fontaine looks to the door and hesitates, mouth open as he thinks.
"Actually, I might have something," Mr. Fontaine murmurs, "We have a couple coming through for wedding photos tomorrow, but our usual photographer fell ill today, and I've been searching for a last-minute replacement. It's just a one day thing, but it could lead to more work... down the track..." oh... that didn't sound too bad, actually.
It kind of sounded cool, too.
Um.
Everyone looks at me for my answer.
"I'll do it," I nod, speaking quietly, "I think I can. Just, wedding photos? I think... yeah."
"I'll pass you off as professional, so you can, there's no room for doubting yourself, darling, just come well-dressed if you can," Mr. Fontaine corrects me, and his expression is stern and authoritative, but at least he is straight to the point. My mother nudges me with her elbow, super happy she just scored me a job. My father is suitably impressed I even said yes.
"O-Okay?" I reluctantly agree.
"Come to me tomorrow at 9am, I'll show you the photo shoot locations, and introduce you to the couple – and if you don't feel comfortable alone with them, I'll stay to chat, taking the pressure off you," Mr. Fontaine is awfully generous saying that and I blush a little uncontrollably with how forthright he is about it.
"We really appreciate this," my father is blown away, "Thank you."
"Thank you," my mother also adds.
"See you tomorrow," Mr. Fontaine drawls, turns and leaves.
As the door swings shut, my parents embrace on the good news.
Pam is congratulating me, but I'm slightly overwhelmed and distracted.
I look to the second window, that he is going to walk past as he walks off the veranda.
Mr. Fontaine comes into view, and he is looking back for me. I immediately look away before our eyes can meet. I had seen enough.
The darkness outside obscured his features, putting silver into his hair, while his face shone in the moonlight, and just like that, I know why I remember him.
The man in my dreams.
The man who kissed me.
The man who let me burn to the ground.
Over and over again.
Scared and disturbed – I am also completely rattled in a third way. My stomach is full of butterflies. Nerves?
"We watching the rest of this movie or not?" Pam calls out, throwing a piece of popcorn at me.
I return to her quickly, trying to distract myself.
"Yes," I say simply, sitting down and gulping.
"You look like you've seen a ghost," Pam makes fun of me, looking at me before she resumes the movie, "...are you okay...?"
"Just thinking," I respond quickly, grabbing a handful of popcorn and shoving it into my mouth.
Pam shrugs and presses play.
I think of his handshake.
So cold. My arm, the thrill down my arm...
It was unnatural.
There was something wrong with him.
But what?