CW- retelling of some of Regulus's worst memories, including death, child death, mentions of torture
Legilimency was a skill that James had only ever tried once, and it was easy enough to say that it was a massive failure. The only thing to come from the failed experience was that James received a gushing nosebleed and Sirius forgot who James was entirely for a full twelve hours.
That's why the feeling was so foreign to him, being in someone else's memories.
He was in what he could only assume to be Sirius's bedroom in Grimmauld Place, although he had never seen it himself. The room was dark, seeming to match the décor of the rest of the house, but with Gryffindor banners and bikini-clad women posters adhered to the walls permanently.
James could remember the way Sirius winced as he used his left arm for a month after telling them about the permanent sticking charms.
Sat sprawled across the bed were two people that James knew well, albeit they were much older in the present time. Sirius had his back against the headboard, one knee propped up and book open on top of it. Leaned against the footboard, gangly legs taking up the rest of the bed, was Regulus.
The sight alone was odd for James to see, given that the two had been mortal enemies for almost the entire time he had known them. But here, as proper children, they seemed to be the best of mates.
Sirius paused in reading and looked up at Reg, who had closed his eyes. Giving him a bit of a kick, Sirius blurted out, "Oi, don't fall asleep in my bed again, you wanker. Go get in your own!"
A bleary eyed Regulus sneered back at Sirius, looking almost like the version James remembered.
"I haven't been sleeping well, Sirius. Just this once, can't you-" His sentence trailed off as he shook his head. "Never mind."
"You haven't been sleeping?" Sirius asked, a bit quieter than before.
"Not since what Mother did to you last week. I'd never seen- I mean I didn't think they'd do that. It was horrible. Didn't it hurt terribly?"
"It stung a bit in the beginning. I have a feeling that won't be the last time, Reg. No need to lose sleep over it. What's a little torture now and then anyway, yeah?"
Sirius was joking, trying to appease his younger brother, but James could see how Sirius's face hardened on the words.
"Don't be making any plans to make this a nightly thing," Sirius warned as he snapped the book close. "And if you kick me in the face in the middle of the night, you'll be out in the snow."
Regulus scoffed and aimed a halfhearted kick at Sirius's side as the scene in front of James dissolved, leaving him momentarily back in the darkness.
He was prepare to be yanked from the book, but instead a second scene formed. This was, without a doubt, the foyer of Grimmauld Place, and it held Orion, Walburga, and Sirius. They were all three yelling at one another as the scene solidified.
"You're a disgrace! And no son of mine!" Walburga was roaring, towering over Sirius as he stood there with a blank look on his face. "You either do as we command, or you leave!"
"The choice is a bit obvious, then, innit?" Sirius cheekily replied, smirking up at the reddening face of his mother.
"Insolence! You're a traitorous scourge that is rotting our family tree! No more, Sirius! I won't allow it!"
That's when the curses started, and James made himself look away.
He had remembered that night, the wards around Potter Manor signaling that they had an unannounced guest. Sirius had collapsed on their doorstep, surrounded by a puddle of blood and his own sick by the time that James had made it to the door.
It was because he looked away that he noticed Regulus, standing just off in the distance and clenching his jaw so tightly that James was sure that he was breaking his teeth. He was swallowing often, looking as though he would sick up at any moment. And when Walburga stormed from the room, James watched as the clouds in Regulus's eyes cleared, followed by a singular tear as he turned and marched up the stairs.
The scene dissolved then, depositing James out of the book and back in front of the table once more. James took a deep breath to calm himself before he began to slowly reach for the second one.
Euphemia sat quietly the entire time that Regulus destroyed the bedroom. The only movement she did was to repair some items within the room once Regulus seemed to be growing short of things to smash. By the end of it, his arms were covered in nicks and cuts, as well as the cut that sat over his right eyebrow.
She knew he was finished when his shoulders slumped, his wand falling from his hand and rolling slowly across the wooden floor.
"I'll heal you now, Regulus. Come here."
It took a moment for Regulus to make himself move, but he finally did so and stood in front of Effie, deeply ashamed.
"I'm sorry," was what he settled upon, muttering it out as she began to heal him.
"Whatever for?"
Regulus lifted his head to look at her, dropping the manners and giving her a look that said, You can't be serious.
"Do you feel better?"
"No."
"Stop being petulant, Regulus. It's beneath you."
He would have almost thought she was chiding him in the way she spoke, if it weren't for the way she took his hand in hers and wiggled it about between them. When she realized Regulus was remaining silent, she spoke.
"I think James likes you, too, you know."
"Effie," Regulus began, which greatly pleased Euphemia at the use of the nickname, "Your son lives and breathes for Lily Evans."
"James just thinks he lives and breathes for her. He's always been a romantic, that boy. Just like his father."
Monty was growing scarcer around the manor as the war ramped up, and Regulus found himself curious about the man. It seemed that Euphemia already knew such as she pulled him back to sitting on the bed next to her, launching into a story.
"Monty didn't love me at first, you know. Was actually greatly against the idea altogether."
"What? Why? But you-"
"Are quite flattered by that thought, thank you," she laughed. "I wasn't the same person that I am now, Regulus. Monty and I's marriage was one purely for convenience at first."
"Would you-" Regulus shifted uncomfortably at the thought of asking, but trudged on. "Tell me about it? You two?"
Effie smiled at the long ago memories, and agreed.
"Fleamont Potter fell in love in his fifth year at Hogwarts, long before I knew anything of him. The rumors flew around the castle, of course, but who would ever believe that those two would ever-"
She sighed, seeming to pull herself back in for a moment.
"It wasn't until our seventh year that Monty and I became friends. We were in Hogsmeade, and I was waiting for Abraxas Malfoy," she shuttered, watching as Reg's eyes widen.
"He passed a few nights ago, I heard," Regulus volunteered carefully.
"So I've heard," she hummed, raising an eyebrow in his direction before continuing.
"I was betrothed to him first, that old codger. As you can imagine, the Nott family was pickier than the rest of the Sacred 28. But as I was sitting there in that tiny little booth, Fleamont Potter and Alphard Black slid right in across from me and handed me a butterbeer."
"Uncle Alphard?" Regulus asked. "With Monty?"
Regulus leaned his back against the headboard as he kicked his shoes off, tucking his legs beneath him. He could still feel the burning magic of another deep within his chest, and he knew that James was still there.
"Attached at the hip, those two were. When James came back from Hogwarts and told me of him making friends with Sirius Black, it was as if we all traveled back in time- no pun intended, Dear."
Regulus smiled slightly at her attempt of keeping the conversation light, and she continued.
"Monty and Alphard weren't like Sirius and James, though. Nowhere near similar."
Regulus knew the stories of Alphard Black. Arguably, the lush stories that the families talked about at the balls and galas over the years made him just want to meet Uncle Alphard even more. But as the years stretched on, he never showed.
"Fleamont asked me over that butterbeer if he could marry me."
Reg's jaw snapped open, "Just like that?"
"Just like that."
"He and....Uncle Alphard..."
"Loved each other very much. More than I could even imagine at the time. It was like they knew one another more intimately than any other person ever could know another human. Monty would move, and Alphard would move with him. Neither of their families would allow it, though, as you could imagine."
"So you agreed to be betrothed to him. Why would you do that for him?"
"What would you do for love, Regulus?" She paused. "I benefited, too, of course. I got to leave Nott Manor and the Nott family name behind. I was a Potter, and things improved for me substantially."
"And Uncle Alphard?" Regulus asked. "Fleamont?"
"It was a year after we left Hogwarts," Effie sighed. "Alphard disappeared one day and never returned. When Monty found out where he was living, he went to visit him. He came back and asked that we never mention Alphard Black ever again. To this day, I do not know what they said to one another."
"And that was it?"
"We had James a few years later. Alphard passed when you lot were in school, and as far as I know, the two never spoke again."
Regulus was stunned into silence, hearing the story of Fleamont and Alphard. Regulus would be the first to admit that he knew very little when it concerned matters of the heart, but he couldn't imagine walking away from someone after all that time.
"What I'm trying to impart on you, Regulus, is that we don't always know the future, even if we're from it. The ways of the heart are unpredictable, uncertain, and most of all, wild. What a heart wants cannot be stopped without a great deal of pain involved. People heal, over time, and they learn how to move past it, but it's not the same. Once you've experienced that type of love, you are changed forever, even if you weren't meant to be with them forever. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Regulus mutely nodded, "You have a grandson, you know. Harry. Born in 1980."
Euphemia's eyes widened just slightly, and Regulus could see the adoration that had already built in them. She then seemed to still, calculating.
"When did I die, Dear?"
He didn't want to tell her. He didn't want to have to tell her that she never met Harry, or that she never got to see the end of the war. He didn't want to tell her that she had less than six months of her life left, not then. Not ever. But he owed her that.
"In April of 1979," Regulus whispered. "Five-and-a-half months from now."
Euphemia's spine straightened as she blinked quickly, absorbing the information. "Oh."
"I think I can stop it," Regulus blurted, his mind spinning. "I've been thinking about it for a while, although I wasn't sure that you would allow me to help you-"
"How?"
"Oh, well I have this-"
"No, Regulus," she interrupted. "How do I die?"
"You and Monty contract DragonPox. The cure doesn't work on you two."
"Which is why you always bring me tea to bed," she nodded, patting his leg. "You're checking on me."
"Of course I am," Regulus replied. "You can't die. You can't. I-"
He wasn't sure what he had planned to say next, but the wisp of a smile on Effie's face stopped him from continuing.
"Careful, Regulus. If someone else hears that, they might think you care about me."
The second book in front of James was blood red, tattered and soot-covered as though someone had been attempting to purge it from the library completely.
He had an idea of what lay inside of this one, and it wasn't anything pleasant. But he cracked the book open nevertheless, letting the memories overtake him just as he did with the first.
These were memories of the war. Of the Death Eaters. Of Voldemort.
Every bad thing that Regulus had done under the guise of working for his master was laid out in simple memories, all for James to see. Regulus, whether he knew it or not, was laying his soul bare for James to look at, and that included even the nastier memories.
James saw the memory of the orphanage. Of the vampires that ripped those little children to shreds as Regulus stood and watched. He saw the memory of each muggle he had killed, or tortured, or harmed in some way that the Dark Lord had called for.
Regulus was not the good guy; he was not the hero. He was never meant to look like one, either.
Regulus Black was just a broken wizard, trying too late to right the wrongs that he would carry around forever in that little charred book within his mind.
Regulus's memories showed the hesitance in his actions, James noted. There had been so many times that he could see Regulus twitching to leave, to do something to stop what was in action in front of him. But each time he noticed it, he also noticed that Reg's eyes thundered over and his body stilled, cementing himself in as a villain.
Because Regulus always had a choice; he just wasn't brave enough to make the right one on his own.
James found himself sick to his stomach as the red book showed him the final memory; the memory of Regulus standing outside of a massive cave near the sea.
He had watched Regulus writhe and scream in pain as he drank the potion down, yelling out people's names that he had seen in the past memories. Every person that Regulus had watched die, whether it be from his hand or another, tumbled out of his mouth with pleas of forgiveness to release his soul. And as he began to cry for Sirius, James found himself closing his eyes and refusing to watch anymore.
The book deposited him back into the room once again, and James found himself nauseous. That was not the Regulus he knew at all inside of those pages. He felt too real, too human. A swell of emotions was taking James over as he reached for the final book, processing the fact that maybe he was wrong about Regulus after all.
The last book, smaller than the other two considerably, was bound in royal purple velvet. It was embossed with silver trimmings when James picked it up, but it did not open automatically as the other two. This one, instead, was waiting for James to choose. It was up to him if he wanted to know what lay between the pages.
With a breath to steady himself and his Gryffindor nerves, James flipped to the front page, the memory overtaking him.
It was him.
The day that Regulus had shown up at the Manor after time traveling was the memory that was playing, but this time it was altered slightly.
James watched as his memory self reached for Regulus's wand, remembering the warm feeling that took them both over in that moment. This time, though, a golden light encompassed them both, coming from a link deep within both of their magical cores.
The memory blurred, and it showed them in Sirius's flat.
"Please," Regulus scoffed. "Marriage is archaic compared to being bonded. It can happen accidentally sometimes. Your magic is just so attuned to each other that it clicks into place. An accidental bond that was, well, meant to be."
"How romantic, little Reggie. Have a bond of your own that you're hiding?" James teased, attempting to lighten the mood in the room.
James's stomach lurched, his own words coming back to him as the memory blurred once more.
"There is a possibility that the magic takes too well. They'll be bonded forever, and their magic will no longer be able to bond with anyone else until one of them is dead."
And suddenly, everything clicked into place. James thought that if Lily had been there, she would have surely told him how thick he had been the past month.
The odd feelings that he had been having towards Regulus, the way that he caught Regulus looking at him some days, it all was perfectly clear as the purple book snapped shut.
James drug in a deep breath that filled his lungs completely as his eyes snapped open, the pain flooding back into the entire left side of his body.
Regulus felt it the moment that James's magic pulled from his chest, no longer lingering. The first emotion to fill him was panic, not knowing where it had went. There were only two possible reasons for his magic to fade, and Regulus pleaded for it to be the latter of the two.
"He's awake."
Euphemia lowered the spells just in time for Regulus to open the door and walk down the hall, seeming to just know where he was. Two doors down on the right, Regulus opened the door as James gasped, the stitches on his left shoulder pulling uncomfortably with his movement.
As Regulus froze in his tracks once again, Effie maneuvered around him, grabbing potions and bandages and asking James how he felt. It seemed that his voice continued to fail him as he grunted and nodded instead, his left arm still remaining immobile.
Once he was stabilized and in the most comfortable position possible, Euphemia kissed him on the top of the head before moving back towards the door where Regulus still remained.
"He's weak," she began to explain. "But he's going to be fine. He made it back in time that we were able to save his arm. He's going to be fine, Regulus."
She laid her hand on Regulus's shoulder, causing him to look up at her. He could see the relief for her son so plainly on her face and it became hard to swallow, keeping his emotions at bay without his occlumency. He gently raised his own hand to put it on top of hers, and she nodded.
"Alphard and Monty," was all she said as she closed the door behind him, and he could feel her magic cloaking the room and giving them privacy.
James's throat was scratchy as he spoke softly, Reg barely being able to hear him.
"Come to finish the job, Reggie? I hate to disappoint, but I'm still going to put up a fight with one functional arm."
The words served their purpose in snapping Regulus out of whatever fear he had as he scowled in James's direction, "Shut up, Potter."
He finally close the distance between them, sitting gingerly on the edge of the bed at James's feet. James's eyes were drooping, but he seemed to be fully alert.
"You know."
"I think so. Wouldn't mind if you explained it, though."
Regulus clasped his hands tightly together in his lap, the anxiety eating at him as he began to explain.
"You and I are fate bound, Potter. When I traveled back in time, it sealed us as the prophecy owners and bound us together for eternity."
"I see," James blinked. "And when we complete the prophecy and the war is over?"
"The bond changes into something else."
"Something else?"
Regulus finally met James's eyes, "Whatever we want it to be. Familial, romantic, or nothing at all."
"Nothing at all is an option?"
Regulus's heart sank momentarily before he remembered who he was talking to. James Potter sat in front of him, discussing their future together. He tried not to show his feelings as he said, "Yes, Potter. Nothing at all is an option. We stay away from one another once the prophecy is fulfilled, the bond will be broken permanently and you will be able to bond to whomever you see fit."
"But not you?"
"What?"
"You said I could bond to whomever. But not you?"
Regulus was careful with his next words, glancing down at his hands in his lap.
"I don't think it would be very fair for someone to become bonded to me forever."
The two lapsed into silence, the energy of the room shifting as Regulus realized that he was foolish to allow Effie to fill his head with romantic notions of the past. Fleamont and Alphard may have loved one another, but that meant nothing for he and James.
"I saw your memories," James blurted out. "The bond showed me."
"I know," Reg regretfully stated, "I felt it."
"Reg, I- the pain- how do you-"
"Don't worry about me, Potter. You're the one that lost an arm."
"That I did, and I got it back, Mate."
"There's one more thing."
"Can't get much worse, Reggie; Go on."
"The bond, while it's a fate bond," Regulus began, trying to think the best way to break the news to him. "Our lives are tied. If one of us dies, so does the other."
"Oh."
Regulus didn't realize he was doing it, but he moved his body closer up the bed to rest next to James's ribs. "Don't worry. I won't risk your life like that. You don't deserve what's happened to you."
"You almost died today."
"So did you?" Regulus said, confused.
"You didn't tell anyone and you would've just dropped dead!" James exclaimed. "Why in Merlin's name didn't you tell anyone?"
"It's not their business," Reg simply stated, licking his lips. "And I didn't think you'd want other people to know that you were fated to a Death Eater."
"You're not a Death Eater," James stated, similar to what Effie had already told Regulus. "Not anymore."
Regulus watched as the exhaustion weighed on James, fighting to keep his eyes awake, and summoned every once of Gryffindor courage that he had gathered over the weeks.
"Can I touch you, James?"
"Oh, well, I-yes. Yes, you can."
Regulus lifted a hand carefully to the right side of James's face, his hand just barely making contact with him. The magic crackled just as before, a mixture of golds and purples sparking from between their skin.
"I just need to know. Just once," Regulus whispered as he closed the distance between the two, James staring directly into his eyes.
They were crystalline silver, not a storm cloud one to be found as his lids fluttered close.
There was an internal struggle within Regulus that caused him to draw to a close, a mere inches away from James's lips.
He couldn't do that, he thought to himself. He couldn't do that to James.
But it seemed that it didn't matter to James, who closed the distance completely between them as he placed his lips directly onto Regulus's.
The magnetism that they had been feeling was nothing compared to the energy that now crackled within the room, enough to blow the lightbulb in the muggle lamp sitting next to the bed. James gasped at the feeling, opening his mouth and allowing Regulus to slip his tongue into his mouth as he reveled in the kiss.
It ended just as quickly as it started, Regulus wrenching himself away from the side of the bed and taking several steps backwards.
James stared at Regulus, eyes blown wide and chest heaving, and had no words.
"I'm sorry," Regulus shook his head, regretting what he had done immediately, and stormed from the room.
A/N- I love the idea of Monty and Alphard and just had to incorporate it. I hope that doesn't dash anyone's view of Effie or her marriage, her husband still very much loves her.
I also have zero clue how I am supposed to kill Effie Potter. I love her and I am attached.
Let me know what you think, as always.
-A