(TW: mention of miscarriage)
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~~Part 1: Quality Bonding~~
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"Hey bestieee~!" You shouted, causing the already cranky feline to fumble the bottle of Jameson in his hand and let it fall onto its side; spilling some of the contents onto the bar counter.
"ShiiiiiIIIIT." He groaned. "Can't you go distract somebody else?"
"Could, but I'd rather not." You shrugged, walking over to the cozy little bar and sitting across from him. "Still mad about earlier?"
"Yes."
"Would it make it better if I told you I was sorry?" You asked, batting your lashes at the cat.
"No." He grumbled, cleaning up the mess you caused him to make before pouring himself a few shots.
"Hmm. Then it seems we've reached an impasse." You teased. Husk paused his pouring and glared at you, prompting a snicker to escape your throat.
"I'm sorry for pissing you off." You said genuinely. Still unable to wipe the gentle smile from your face. "Really. I thought it'd be funny, and it was, not gonna lie. But that wasn't nice of me and I'm sorry to upset you so much."
His expression softened, finishing pouring a fourth shot glass of the amber liquid. You extended your hand out to him, offering a handshake. "Truce?" You asked.
He raised a brow as he looked down at your hand, then panned his gaze back up at you. Sighing heavily he extended his hand as well and firmly shook yours.
"I'm gonna get you back one day." He huffed, before nudging two of the shot glasses towards you and keeping the other two to himself.
"That's fair." You chuckled, letting go of his hand and picking up one of the shots. Admiring the color of the bitter liquid as it swirled around in the small thin glass.
"What's with the gloves?" He asked, throwing one of his shots back and swallowing it with one big gulp.
"Bit of a germaphobe." You lied. Taking a quiet breath before drinking your first shot as well.
I'm not gonna get trashed, you thought to yourself. The bitter fluid burning your throat and warming your stomach. Trying not to grimace as you waited for the awful yet familiar taste to dissipate.
I'm not gonna fall back into bad habits. Just a little fun. Just to let loose.
"Uh huh. Sure." He scoffed.
You gave him a side-eye glare, not particularly fond of his disbelief. Then again, you weren't surprised. Lack of trust seemed to be a very prominent quality in a lot of sinners. Yourself included.
"I don't like being touched. Alright?" You admitted.
"Bad experience or just personal space?" He asked drinking his second shot before refilling both the glasses. Refilling your first one as well.
"Both." You answered. Wrapping your fingers daintily around the other glass. "Can I tell you something? And... not hear it back to me from somebody else later?"
"Are you asking if I can keep a secret?" He asked. "Yeah. I don't give enough of a shit to gossip with anyone else."
You nodded with a gentle sigh. "I... see things. When people touch me. In my head."
"That's called having a thought, Y/n."
You tried like hell to just glare at him and not break deadpan, but you couldn't stifle the smirk.
"Not exactly." You said. "More like visions. Very vivid ones. Almost like I get a glimpse of that person's psyche."
"How do you mean?" He wondered.
"Like... I don't know how to explain it. From what I can tell so far if I come to contact with somebody, skin to skin, it's like I'm seeing other peoples memories. Sometimes even through their eyes. And... whatever they're feeling or thinking about, I feel it too..."
"Care to demonstrate?" He asked, holding out his open palm.
"Do I want to?" You asked, hesitantly removing the glove from your right hand. Pulling on each finger before sliding the comfortable silk off your skin. He shrugged.
"You're not gonna see anything horrific. Maybe nudity, I was pretty fond of hookers in my twenties. Don't let Angel know that."
"Nice. I won't." You teased playfully. "Alright, then..."
Taking a quiet deep breath and mentally preparing yourself, you merely placed your fingers daintily against his open palm. The initial wave was a feeling of apprehension, which was to be expected, but an almost hollow feeling that seemed to overpower any other mood. It felt heavy, but somehow numb all at the same time. A hint of curiosity and adoration sprinkled on top, you wondered if that's just his general feeling toward you.
Visions clouded your mind, along with sounds too. Sounding distant, far away, but you swear you could hear them.
"You were right about the prostitutes." You started with a soft chuckle. Husk smirked a little and looked off to the side, keeping his hand out and letting you continue.
"I'm seeing a lot of slot machines, palm trees and huge crowds of people." You went on, staring off to the side but not really seeing anything in front of you as the memories kept reeling like a roll of film on a projector.
"I lived in Vegas for a while." He explained.
"Seems like you had fun," you smiled gently. "It looks like you met a woman there, kinda short, redhead-"
"That was my late wife." He sighed. "Her name was Janet."
"She's so cute." You said softly. He smiled at your statement and nodded. You felt your expression change a little, feeling a more dismal mood coming on. Husk seemed to notice this too, and figured what it was already.
"What else do you see?" He asked. Not realizing he was holding his breath.
"I see a nursery..." you answered. "blue and white walls, a bassinet with a crib mobile... Janet crying in a rocking chair, but... there's no baby... There's only grief..."
"We were going to name him Thadius." He said wistfully. "Janet really wanted a baby. We tried for years. One day I came home and she came running up to me, said it finally happened. I was gonna be a Dad."
"What happened?" You asked softly, withdrawing your hand from and pulling the glove back on. The visions and emotions receding, leaving you as quickly as they came.
"He didn't make it." He sighed. "Thought she went into labor thirteen days early, so we rushed to the hospital. They did an emergency c-section because the umbilical cord was coming out before the actual baby... They brought her into surgery, I sat in the waiting room anxious to meet my boy... only to find out Thadius was stillborn."
"... I'm so sorry, Husk..." you said. Blinking away a tear before he could notice it. You resonated with his pain, more than you cared to admit... It hit really close to home. "No parent should know the pain of losing their child. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I can tell you really loved him."
He nodded. "I did. I still do. He's probably an angel now. With his momma... That's what I like to think, anyway."
"I like to think that too." You nodded with a meek smile. You felt a little bad, trudging up something that you knew was very difficult to live through. Not wanting to dwell on it you tried to steer the subject. "Vegas, though. What was that like?"
"Loved it." He answered rather quickly, and with more of an upbeat tone. "Lived there for 8 years, saw Elvis live three times."
"Oh that had to be wild," you smiled, drinking the contents of your second shot and grasping your third as you set the now empty glass down. "I grew up listening to him. My grandmother was an Elvis fanatic, I even performed to some of his music in some of our shows."
"Good woman, raised you right." He said. "I'll tell you what," he continued, pressing his index finger on the counter top to emphasize his point. "I could have been a professional Elvis impersonator when I was young. Had the hair and everything."
"Can you give me your best Elvis impression right now?" You asked curiously.
"No." He said. His face dropping a little.
"Whyyy?" You whined. "You can't just say that and then not show me. Come on!"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I haven't done it in years, and... You're gonna laugh at me."
"I'm not gonna laugh at you," you urged him. "Okay I might laugh, but, not from a place of judgement. Come on, please? Pretty please? For me?"
He heaved a heavy sigh, looking at you as he let his voice fall into a deep, southern drawl. "Hey there, pretty momma." He said flaring his one nostril; the signature expression of the artist in question.
"Eeeeeee!!" You squealed, kicking your legs a little. Both of you laughing in amusement. "I love it!!!"
"Thank you, thank you very much." He said, impersonating the musician once more as he smiled a little. Happy that he made you laugh.
"Had to take a shower and yes it took an hour 'cause I really had to cry about my day!" Angel Dust's sing-songy voice burst through the airwaves as he entered the room with a grandiose sense of self. You grinned at the sight, relieved to see him in better spirits. Your heart still gently aching at the bruise on his cheek. You could tell he tried covering it with makeup, but makeup couldn't hide the swelling.
You pushed out the barstool next to you, offering him a spot at the bar. "Hey, look who's here to join the party!" You hummed.
"Angel, you hit on me one time and I'm shoving this entire bottle down your throat." Husk warned the spider as Angel sat down beside you. Nudging his stool closer to yours.
"Ooo, don't stop at just the bottle~." Angel cooed.
You damn near choked on your own breath at his rebuttal. "Husk you set yourself up for that one, sorry." You snickered.
"Got any grey goose?" Angel asked, leaning forward and squinting as he read all the bottles on the shelf behind Husk.
"Blegh." You grimaced, looking over at the spider. "You can drink just straight vodka?"
"Yeah cause I ain't a lil' bitch." He retorted.
"Kindly piss off." You teased. "I'm not the one drinking rubbing alcohol's angry cousin like some sort of psychopath."
"Awh you're breaking my heart." He smirked. "Whatcha drinkin' anyway?"
"Whiskey."
"Flavored?" He asked.
"No." Husk answered, pulling out two more shot glasses and filling them. Sliding them over for Angel before just setting the bottle down between the three of you for whoever wanted it next. "You get what you get and don't throw a fit." The cat huffed.
"Fine. Whatever."
~~Part 2: Tangled Up~~
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~~~~~~flashback~~~~~~
"I walk in the bar and the fella's all cheer,
They order me up a whiskey and beer.
You ask me why I'm writing this poem,
Some call it a tavern but I call it home...."
Another night of partying before another jump to the next town. Daredevils, clowns, roustabouts and tumblers; even a few of the other gymnasts were all gathered underground the beige tent. It was getting very late, and most -if not all of you- were at the mercy of your poisons by now. Drunken or stoned, some crossfaded and feeling both, it was nothing but laughs all around as you stayed up partying with them. Playing games and cracking jokes, you lived for these kind of nights. It was a nice break from the every day grind, even if it meant being exhausted come morning.
You and Johnny were seated on a picnic table, sharing a bottle of cheap wine. Guzzling it like it was water as you passed it back and forth to each other. His arms hugged your waist while you sat on his lap, not a care in the world.
Both of you swayed as he hugged you close, laying his head against your chest while you both sang old folk songs with the rest of the folks here. Raising your bottles above your heads as everyone belted out the words.
"Fuck you, I'm drunk
Fuck you, I'm drunk
Pour my beer down the sink I've got more in the trunk
Fuck you, I'm drunk
Fuck you, I'm drunk
And I'm going to be drunk till the next time I'm drunk!"
By now it was pretty obvious to just about everyone that you two were romantically involved. Miraculously, your secret was kept safe from your folks. No one here at this little party agreed with that foolish social hierarchy either, so when they saw how happy you were whenever you were with him, they didn't want to ruin it. They felt a little bad that you couldn't be completely honest about it, no one wanted to say anything to your folks on account of not wanting to lose their job. On many accounts they had lied on yours and Johnny's behalf just to keep you both out of trouble.
In your mind-altered haze your laughing smile soon changed to a look of panic when you saw your father come into the tent. He hadn't seen you yet, but you weren't going to wait around and say hi to him. You'd never hear the end of it if he caught you here.
"Shit." You muttered, getting off of your boyfriends lap and ducking down to the ground. "Ringmaster, dead ahead."
"Go." Johnny urged you quietly, keeping an eye out for you. "Sneak out through the back. I'll try and meet back up with you later."
"You sure?"
"Of course I'm sure! Now go, before he sees you in here."
You nodded. And without a moment to lose you stayed ducked down, crouching behind tables and other people as you slunk your way to the back wall of tent. Looking over your shoulder to confirm you hadn't been spotted, you lifted up the bottom of the tent where it wasn't fixed to the ground and slid underneath. Crawling through the dirt and grass as you came out on the other side. The crisp night air greeting your skin, a nice change from how hot it was inside the tent.
You looked around at your surroundings to see not another soul in sight, and sighed a breath of relief.
Figuring you had some time before you wanted to hit the hay for the night you decided to mosey up to the nearby corner store and get yourself a pack of smokes and a couple of snacks for later. You'd need them tomorrow anyway, it was a long few hours from here to the next stop and you didn't want to go without.
Screwing the cap back onto your soda you took one more look up at the stars as you made your way back to your trailer for the night. It was always so beautiful, a sight you'd never get tired of. Like a blanket of navy blue that somebody poked holes in, letting little flecks of white shine through. Marveling at how some of them seemed to twinkle.
Smiling softly to yourself you looked over at the beige tent across the field where you once had been. Party still must've been going, as it didn't seem to quiet down at all from that direction. Rowdy adults shouting and laughing drunkenly, even breaking a few bottles or two just because they could. You hoped your companion was having fun too. Reaching up for the handle on the door, you let yourself into the caravan.
Sighing a little as the door shut harshly behind you, you locked it and walked over to your messy and unmade bed. Plopping down on the edge of the mattress while you emptied the contents of your drawstring bag in front of you. Chips, pretzels, a candy bar, juice and cigarettes scattered out on the small wooden table before you; along with whatever cash and small trinkets you had stolen that day.
"Boo!"
"Jesus!!" You squeaked, practically jumping right out of your own skin as you turned and faced whomever had snuck into your small home. There was your lover, bundled up in your sheets with a big cheesy grin on his face. He must've been hiding underneath the mountain of blankets when you came in here.
"Johnny!!" You whisper yelled. "What the hell are you doing??"
"I told you I'd see you again later." He said with a playful grin. Shirking the sheets off of him and crawling over to you.
"Yeah, you're a man of your word, but my folks are gonna kill us both if they find out you're in here!"
"They're not gonna catch us." He whispered, leaning in closer and crawling over top of you.
"How do you know?"
"Because we're gonna turn the lights down," he said lowly, dipping his head down as he began kissing your neck. "we're gonna keep the curtains drawn... and we're gonna be quiet."
'Is he getting at what I think he's getting at?' You wondered. Feeling your heart double in speed. You sighed instinctively at the sensation of his lips against your skin, bringing a hand up and raking your fingers through his hair. 'Am I really about to do this? Is this happening?'
"I've been wanting this for a really long time..." he confessed breathily.
"I know..."
"Unless... you don't want to?" He asked, pulling away and cupping your cheek. Sensing your apprehension. "I don't want to make you do something you're not comfortable with. We can just cuddle, instead. Or I can leave if you're really that scared, I'd understand."
"No I want to, I really want to. I'm just nervous." You admitted. "I've... never done this before..."
"Its okay," he said. Gently laying you down, holding you close. "We'll take it easy, I'll be gentle."
You nodded. A look of some uncertainty still on your face, that did not go unnoticed. He was quick to reassure you as his lips pressed against your cheek, trailing lower down as he went. "It's alright baby girl, it's just me. It's just us. Okay? I'll take care of you."
"Will you still love me in the morning?" You asked, looking up at the ceiling. Finding comfort in his next words as you let your eyes flutter shut; and let him continue.
"I'll love you to the moon and back, Y/n..."
~~~~~~flashback over~~~~~~
~~Part 3: A Little Too Much~~
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"Shit, girl. You can really hold your liquor." Husk said.
"Yeahhh, I didn't exactly give it a lot of time for my tolerance to get lower." You shrugged.
"That being said, I'm cutting you off." Angel added, sliding the bottle away from you.
"That's fine." You chuckled, smiling a bit defeatedly. "Probably a good idea. Anyways, Husk, what's your favorite pick-up line?"
"I don't have one, they're corny as shit."
"That's the point!" Angel urged, raising the bottle in his hand and bringing it to his lips; just drinking straight from it instead of pouring another shot. You three had been there for a few hours just jabber-jawing and drinking. You may or may not have went back on the whole 'I'm not gonna get trashed' thing. Much to your own dismay. But at the moment, you were too elated to really care. That was hungover-you's problem to deal with later.
"Hey- hey smiles!" Angel called over.
You furrowed a brow and looked over, seeing the stag perk up at the sound of his nickname as he walked along. He turned his head to face your little trio at the bar. "Yes, Angel?"
"What's your favorite pick-up line?" The spider asked. "Come over have a drink with us."
Alastor chuckled and fixed his hair a little before moseying over and sat down on the other side of you. You didn't really try to hide your air of indifference as he sat down, reaching over and grabbing the bottle from Angel and prying it out of his loose grip. Taking a hefty swig for yourself and set the bottle back down.
"I believe I heard it once about forty years ago," Al started, looking up in thought as if the line was on the ceiling for him to read. "Something along the premise of 'if you were a fruit, you'd be a fineapple."
"Pffffffft-" you snickered, the other two letting out drunken laughs themselves.
"You gotta hear the one Y/n told us-" Angel slurred. "I can't wait to use that shit."
"You have a favorite?" Al hummed.
"Yeahhhh it's stupid." You shrugged. Feeling a bit quiet as the alcohol was hitting you harder now, internally realizing that you fucked up.
"That's the point!" Alastor chirped. "Some of them are even as funny as dad jokes-"
"Don't start!" Husk and Angel yelled in unison.
*hiccup* you squeaked.
"I think someone outta get her to bed." Husk sighed.
"Nooo I'm having fun! I'm fine."
"You heard the fellow," Al sighed, getting up from his seat and picking you up bridal style. "Off to bed with you. I've got her, boys."
"You be fuckin' careful with her!" Angel said with a glare. "If you leave even a scratch on her-"
"I won't harm a hair on her precious little head!" He called out over his shoulder, already walking away from them while you slunk into his arms.
"Put me downnn you're gonna drop me!" You whined. "Get your grubby man-hands off of me, I don't want your cooties."
"I don't have cooties, don't act like such a child." He huffed.
"I'll act however I wanna act, you're not my dad."
Alastor was kind enough to carry you up to your room, opening the door and setting you down onto your bed. You sat up, hunched forward a little bit. A somewhat distraught look on your face that did not go unnoticed by the deer.
"Something the matter, my dear? Feeling ill?"
You shook your head. "Sorry for being a drag. Thank you for *hiccup* bringing me up here..."
"No worries, love." He said, happy to take the praise. He smiled and summoned a glass of water for you within his hand and set it down on the nightstand for when you wanted it.
"You never did tell me that pick-up line." He said.
"Cause it's corny." You slurred.
"So are my favorite jokes, like I said. But that doesn't stop me." He said with a shrug. "Go on. Try me."
You blinked and met his relentless gaze. He smiled expectantly back at you, waiting patiently as you cleared your throat.
"Alright." You hummed. "I uhm... I think you dropped something on the way up here."
"What's that?" He mused, playing along.
"Your standards." You purred. "Wanna come back here tonight?"
The sound you heard from him was that of a record scratch as his eyes widened slightly, and that all familiar blush returning to his cheeks. His reaction wasn't so much from the line, but more so how you said it to him. To his ears it was... dare he say, inviting.
"Hypothetically, what if I took you up on such an offer?" He asked. Now curious to see if you'd lean into your comment or recoil from the flirtation.
"Honey, you wish." You said with a smirk. "You can't look me in the eyes for longer than a second before you get all bashful. It's so adorable. You're adorable."
He grit his teeth. Not wanting to verbally acknowledge your point, loathing that you weren't exactly wrong. He hated that you had this affect on him.
What you did next, you'd later be thankful not to remember. What compelled you to, you didn't know. Perhaps just the impulsive thought brought on by alcohol.
You leaned in, and laid a kiss upon his jaw.
You barely realize it then, but as your lips grazed his skin you noticed how you didn't... See anything. Not a glimpse of his memories, from life or death.
Strange.
You'd find out later in the future you simply were too intoxicated to feel anything other than buzzed.
Alastor froze, his grip on you tightening a little as his face blushed a deeper shade of red. Hyper aware of the spot on his skin you had just traced upon, the spot feeling cold in the absence of your lips. By now he was fed up with you making him flustered, and had half a mind to show you what it felt like. He chuckled wickedly at the thought. He wanted to get even and make you understand what it felt like, thinking about how adorable a sight that must be to see you suddenly go all quiet. But as he leaned in to return the favor, however, his conscience tugged at him. Weakly, but enough to prompt him to stop.
"Darling," he sighed. "You're drunk."
You giggled drunkenly and rest your forehead against his shoulder while he held you up. "You were gonna make a move!" You teased. "You liiike meeeee~."
"Not while you're incapable of making rational decisions." He huffed. "I don't think you're going to remember this little incident, anyway. I won't take advantage."
"I might not remember *hiccup* but you will." You chuckled.
How right you were.