You were packing when Farah found you. Rushed and slapdash, and a half frenzied haze, you moved too fast, too jerkily.
It was moments like this Farah wish she were born with any other element. She could calm you down, hell she could make you forget. But the right thing to do was to talk you through it, walk you through it. She took your hand. "I didn't mean to."
The echoing of your exact thoughts made you freeze. You turned to her. "Neither did I." Your face crumbled and you braced yourself on the bed. One hand covered your face and your neck was bent so you face the ground. A warm hand landed on your shoulder and, despite your self-esteem telling you you didn't deserve it, you didn't make her let go, if you even could. "I hurt her," you wept.
Farah moved in behind you, but didn't push for more contact. "You couldn't help it. You lost control."
You shook your head.
Farah tilted her head sympathetically in return. "It was an accident."
You didn't move and Farah didn't expect you to. The two of you just stood there in comfortable silence. Until the headmistress' phone rang. The brunette jump before talking taking out the device. It was Headmaster Silva. She tossed you a regretful glance, rubbing your shoulder in an attempt at comfort, then retreated from your room.
Alone at last you waited until you heard her concerned voice retreat to sink into the bed. From there, it was only too easy to descend in the tears. You miss the kids, you missed the idyllic island, you missed tripping over Frankenstein dolls wandering, and ducking bees at a moment's notice. You missed Alma. You missed her insane hair, her determined and vexed attempts to discover your peculiarity, her personal care, and how much she cared.
It shattered your heart how alone you felt. And it was all your fault.
*~*
It was the final weekend before the majority of the student population would show up. Some of them already had. Heads of their year and the overachiever showed early. You weren't sure of the advantage, but you yet to leave your room since the incident, afraid you'd hurt somebody.
Farah had utmost faith in you and she insisted you'd be fine with the general population. You severely doubted that. She hosted your personal lessons, which you were starting to believe we're a waste of time, and you're sweet. They were halfway just the two of you hanging out, especially when Farah started bringing alcohol.
You were hesitant to answer the knock at your door but only a few even knew where your room was, let alone that you were here. You kept your foot farthest you wanted the door to open to, but cracked it all the same. It was fair, of course. You weren't sure how you knew but you could always tell when Farrah was around you hadn't told her, but you started feeling many things in regards to her. The kind, cautious look on her face did nothing to help those feelings. Her smile was crooked and her uncertainty. "Good evening, dear," she greeted, still unsure of how to interact with you after having the impulse to kiss you. She still wanted to, but she understood you had your own problems. "May I come in?"
You wanted to be alone alone, but you had that the past few days. You looked back into the suite and found an undisturbed from your refusal to leave your bed. You hummed then moved your foot, holding the door open As you stood behind it.
Farah stepped in and you spotted the peculiar bottle she held. It had a very thin neck, though a wide base. The brunette presented it to you when she was fully inside and the door was shut. "Brought a gift," she explained hopefully. "Have you ever tried bourbon?"
You were very confused as to the point of the beverage, but you sought out the glassware cabinet all the same. You place two glasses on the counter and finally answered, "I've never had any alcohol." You didn't know how to explain you've been 4 years younger mere weeks before you met so, unless she knew by her own means, she didn't know a thing about the loop. You thought she was a good person, but you still didn't tell her a thing. You weren't even sure she was Peculiar, if it differed from being fae.
Farah grimaced, but tried to cover it with an eager smile. "Is there a reason you haven't?" You shook your head; her smile brightened into genuinity. "Then you're in for a treat."
"Or a mind-melting migraine," you muttered back sarcastically.
Farah grinned out the side of her mouth. The visual gave you butterflies. "And you said you have no experience."
You finally met her eyes, after your humiliating breakdown, and laughed at the quick. Farah reveled in the sight. She hadn't realized how much she missed the sight of your ordinary eyes. How the stress lines which weighed down your face vanished if she said just the right thing or if you could get out of your head long enough. Cue the bourbon. Oh ... the headmistress recognized the emotion coursing through her veins. The familiar stirrings of an overpowering emotion. She could still nip it in the butt! She saw your lips cradle the glass rim and molten lava overtook her insides. She was in trouble. Cue a rather large, eye-bulge earning gulp. She sighed through her teeth and smiled to assure you she was fine. She'd been drinking much, much, much longer than you, she discovered.
You had yet to amuse Farah with a cough and it was very disappointing. The woman had to coax you into drinking, something she never thought would have to do with someone so young. The 1st glass was nursed as you acclimated to the feel. The next was drained a touch faster. Your tongue was loosened by the 5th and you laughed easily. You layed your head back and propped up your feet. Once glass number 6 came and went, Farah instructed you to stand and you joined elbows. "Never sit still the entire time you drink."
The halls were comfortably warm, but it felt boiling to you. You pulled at your collar, but Farah insisted outside was cooler. It was, slightly, but it chilled you quickly so you thought the temperature difference was greater than it was. Your cheeks were flushed, but that was far from due to the weather.
Farah leaned down to position her face right alongside yours. "You run away often."
You frowned over at her. "No-"
Farah smiled, likely expecting the denial. "Listen to me." She rubbed your arm. "You ran from the woman in your memory. It was to protect her, I know, but I think she could have helped you. You ran for me when I was trying to. You leave campus quite frequently. And I'd like to point out that everything you've run from has been good for you." She stopped walking so you were forced to as well. One of her slender fingers rose to touch your cheek. You leaned away instinctively. She smiled bemusedly and persisted. "What other good things have you run from?" she traced her finger down your face, compassionate brown eyes boring into your soul.
You pulled your head from her reach, your body following. You wanted a distance. You remembered how close you and Alma had been before you narrowly tore her apart. "I ran away from my parents!" you added pointedly.
Farah nodded, taking it with grace. "And I understand they were quite terrible."
You frowned quickly. How did she know that?! You accidentally lost your balance but you caught yourself.
Farah laughed then continued walking, leading you onward. "When you registered at Alfea, I received all of your records. Did you know you went missing 4 years ago?"
You stared at her, unsure of what to say. "Yes, I did," was your only response. You walked in time with her in silence. You frowned in confusion as you two approached a circle of stones. As you neared the structure, you noticed the nauseating aura it gave off then stopped in your tracks.
Farah stopped just as abruptly and she smiled faintly. "I'd like us to go there."
You stared uncertainly. "What's wrong with it?"
You were too absorbed in the magic to notice the strange pride overcoming brown eyes. The headmistress stepped closer to you, low inhibitions doing nothing to talk her out of holding the small of your back. "Nothing. It just magnifies your fairy magic."
Your eyes grew 3 sizes and flashed a red-violet. It wasn't the first time Farah had seen proof of your element, but she was enthused by the color change all the same. The glassiness from the alcohol seemed to turn up the allure. You couldn't seem to fix your gaze to anything, but Farah could see and understand the terror mounting within it. You moved to step back, but your drunken coordination had your ankles locked.
You were falling back unknowingly, too worried about the potential power-up to even notice. But Farah did. Her hand shot out to fist your shirt as your descent began. Having drank much more than you, Farah's balance was no better off. She not only failed to halt your fall, but she toppled over right alongside you. Well, more technically, atop you.
Your back hit the cold dewy grass and Farah only just braced her hands just above your breasts. "Down works," you mumbled, laying your head back. You looked up at the spinning stars.
Brown hair tickled your neck and face as Farah laid her forehead between her hands. "Listen." She raised her head again, sitting up to straddle you. You flushed very red, very fast. You stammered, but she covered your mouth with a finger. "You run from your feelings."
You didn't say anything, but you didn't have to.
Farah tilted her head, the compassion in her eyes heart-breakingly familiar. "You're running from others' feelings too."
Now, it was your turn to tilt your head. Your confusion matched her compassion.
"Feelings, thoughts, dreams. I don't know what aspect of the Mind you possess, but I know that is your element. And I have no idea what you did to hurt that woman, but it was not Fairy Magic, which is all the Stone Circle magnifie- What's wrong?" she asked, cutting her teacher-self off when she noticed the tears-welling up in your normally hued eyes.
Tears spilled out the corner of your eyes. "There's more than one thing wrong with me?"
Beautiful brown eyes widened and the woman leaned over you. Her loose locks fell down her shoulders and caged your vision with just her face. "Nothing is wrong with you!" she insisted. Her hands took your face and a drunken smile lit up her lovely features.
But you still frowned all the same. "I-"
Farah's voice threatened to crack under the force of her emotions. "I give you my word, that was no reflection on your heart, intentions, emotions.... It wasn't your fault." She took your shoulders as if to make you see the truth she saw, but she ended up pulling you up to sit while she still straddled you.
You shook your head, even as Farah's hands made you nod. You dissolved into tears again, though it hit different in a strong and comforting hold. You wept while your head moved left and right insistently.
Farah didn't waste a moment bringing you into her arms. "It's not your fault."
Your hands found her abdomen to push her off you. You wanted to be alone again. You didn't want anyone to see you when you were like this.
Farah held on for dear life. "You run from comfort as well."
You released a shrill chirp then brought your hands to your head. You fisted your hair and tugged without restraint.
Alarmed, Farah grabbed your hands from you and held you again, your weapons pinned between you both. She ducked her head to position her mouth in your hair, by your ear. She whispered, "I'm going to help you" but she soon heard your own voice.
Under your breath, on an eternal repeat, you whimpered, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry." Every ounce of your body language screamed at Farah to stop; stop trying, stop helping, stop being so close to you. "I'm sorry. Please, stop, sorry, sorry, sorry, so- stop. Please. I'm sorry. Stop, please."