When graduation day finally arrived, I was a mess. I had already done my hair once, and was in the middle of washing it again when it was time to leave. I clothes-pinned a white dish towel around the neck of my navy and white polka dress and tried to fix my runny makeup. I wanted to look like me, the girl I was everyday in jeans and t-shirts, but I felt too overdone. I had the door open to the bathroom and looked in the mirror as Mom walked by the door again.
"You should have taken off your dress. And we're running late, Cricket. We have to go." A few minutes later she yelled, "Now."
I kicked the door shut with my foot and yelled, "Can it, Mom! I will be ready in a second."
"Fine. I'll be on the porch."
I finished drying my hair and grabbed the makeup bag. I would finish it in the car. I picked up my cap and gown, and the box of gifts for all my friends. Of course, they were mugs with coasters left over from the Christmas sale. The ladies of the shop worked so hard on them and were so proud; I didn't want to show that I was a little embarrassed. But all of my gifts to my friends my entire life had been handmade aprons, headbands, book covers, and whatnot, and these would be no different.
I opened the screen door with my hip. Mom was on the porch.
"I'm ready." She quietly got up and walked to the car and opened the passenger door and then went to the driver's side. "What? Are you not talking to me?"
"You told me to can it," she replied.
"Ha. Ha. Can we really not do this today?" I pleaded with a double eye roll; I got in the car with a huge sigh.
She closed her door and said, "You might want to watch your butt."
"Excuse me?" I said through a furrowed brow as I pulled down the mirror on the visor.
"You might want to WATCH your butt!" She said louder.
"I can hear you. I just don't know what you are talking about." She reached down beside me and pulled a small, wrapped box and an envelope from under my dress, which, I guess, was technically under my butt.
"Oh. Sorry. Stressed." I smiled.
"Honey, there is nothing to stress about. It's just graduation. Now open your gift."
I untied the royal and light blue ribbons and unwrapped the silver paper carefully. She never spared a single detail.
I opened the box and inside found a Pierre Cardin watch with a black leather strap adorned with diamond studs. It was so elegant and, I felt so grown up.
I held it close to my chest and screamed, "No you didn't!"
"Did," she giggled back.
"Can I wear it today?"
"Absolutely!" I put the watch on and forgot all about the stress and tension between us. "Thanks, Mom. You are the best."
"I bet you thought you would get a quilt today!"
"Yep. That is pretty much what I expected," I said.
"Not today. Today is about things that you will need and use and keep for many years."
"Alright. Now you are just getting sappy. I have got to get on my makeup and you have got to drive. Let me do my mascara before we get on the bumpy road."
In a baby voice she said, "The bumpy road. Oh, my girl is all grown up."
I reached across and hugged her, "Mom, I know this is a really big day for us, but we really need to get a move on. No more tears. No more outbursts." I said as I contorted my mouth to apply the mascara, "Promise?"
She hesitated then said, "Just open the envelope."
I hadn't even noticed the envelope. I shoved the mascara wand back into the tube and tore into the paper. I nearly fainted.
"What?" I asked as I held two tickets to Acapulco in my hand.
"I promised you a trip."
"You're going to leave the store? To go on vacation?"
"It will survive one week without me."
"Amazing! Oh my gosh, Mom, when do we leave?" I was scanning the tickets.
Mom grabbed the tickets out of my hand and put them in her purse. "We're late. Now let's make like Bud and drive fast!"
At school, it was chaos. Teachers were trying to line everyone up in alphabetical order and were giving each a slip of paper to give to the first person on the stage that shook our hands so they could say our names and where we were going after graduation. I decided not to be a major rule-breaker and walk with Tyler. Tyler would be announced a few minutes before me.
I looked for Tyler. He was in line and looked so handsome. His was zipping up his gown and I could see the collar of a blue shirt underneath that made his eyes stand out. I walked up behind him and stood on my tips toes.
"It is bad luck to see each other before the ceremony," I said.
He turned around.
"I have been looking for you. What took you so long?" His faced looked serious.
"Major hair disaster."
He kissed my forehead and squeezed my arms, "Cricket, I don't . . ."
"Miss Middlebrooks," Mrs. Shannon interrupted. "You will be graduating with the M's my dear."
"See you after you are official," I joked to Tyler. He did not smile. "Are you okay?"
Mrs. Shannon interrupted, "Move it young lady!" She gave me a slip of paper and pointed toward the back of the line. I looked at my slip of paper. Christine Reese Middlebrooks will be attending the University of Texas. I folded my paper and put it in my pocket.
I looked up to see Tyler and gave him one last smile. He looked very distracted. I could see he wanted to tell me something, but then Mrs. Shannon tapped him on the shoulder and he had to turn around and catch up with the rest of the procession.
I took in a deep breath and looked at my fellow classmates, then realized this was the last time I would see many of them. It was time to focus on them and not worry about Tyler. I would see him after the ceremony to find out what was wrong.
I followed the person ahead of me. As I entered my row, I looked at all the people seated before me. I had known all of them for years. I wondered where would they go and what would become of them. I was lost in my thoughts when the ceremony began and missed the first few minutes.
The valedictorian and salutatorian speeches were the usual sharing of advice and hope for changing the world. I knew my world would change a lot in the coming year when Tyler and I would both be at UT, and at some point we would share with the world that we were engaged. My life seemed like it was finally beginning.
It came time for receiving our diplomas and the principal began announcing names.
"Jimmy Sue Atkins will be attending Baylor University."
"Shep Baker will be attending The University of Texas."
"Tyler Bowan will joining the Air Force and attending boot camp this summer."
I felt a cry escape from deep inside me. What?How could Tyler not tell me that? A cheer erupted from the crowd, pleased to hear the news that someone would be representing Marble Falls in the Air Force.
I looked across the stage at Tyler shaking hands with the teachers. He was not looking for me. He was not trying to tell me they made a mistake. He was looking at his parents who were cheering the loudest. I felt like the world was moving in slow motion, crashing into pieces.
My row stood up and I followed in a daze. They must have announced my name, and people must have clapped, but I walked across the stage lost in a daze. I held on to my diploma, shook a clammy hand and walked forward. Mrs. Shannon now stood on stage and hugged me and said, "Switch your tassel, you are a graduate now."
My eyes filled with tears. "It's alright, Dear. I will miss you, too."
The tears flowed more. I could not see the steps clearly as I reached the end of the platform. I did not look for Tyler. Instead, I looked for Mom but couldn't find her. I saw Pa sitting alone. He waved and gave a big shout. My thoughts went to Mom, Where was she?Where did she go?
I sat back in my seat and waited the century it seemed to take for the ceremony to finish. Tyler would not turn around. He kept his head down. I thought about excusing myself and going to the bathroom, but that would bring attention to me, so I didn't.
The ceremony ended. We took off our tassels, and then threw our caps in the air. I tossed my cap and made my way through the crowd to find Tyler. My mind was racing. Was this true? Did he change his mind about the engagement and me? What was going on?
I found my way to about three people away from him. Several girls crowded around to hug him. I was almost to him when someone reached out and grabbed my hand.
It was my dad and he had tears in his eyes. He gave me a big hug and whispered in my ear, "I am so proud of you. I know I haven't been around a lot. I want to change that."
I smiled at him stunned and still looking for Tyler.
"Oh Honey, I am so happy for you." Mom had me in a bear hug with both of my arms pinned to my side. Then she held my wrists with her hands and rotated me away from dad and shoved me into Nana's arms and another bear hug. Nana handed me off to Pa and he put his arm around my shoulder and started to walk me away from Tyler.
Pa grasped for words, "We are so proud of you! UT, that is so great! I don't think I realized that was your final choice."
"You knew I was going there. You helped me with the financial aid papers," I said.
He looked at Nana and said with a breaking voice, "I don't know what to say. Bea, I'm no good at this."
Nana moved in at lightning speed and held onto my forearm and started walking. Mom got on the other side of me and they shuttled me to the parking lot.
I tried to move my arm to get Nana to let go of me. "Nana, I need to see Tyler first."
Her grip tightened.
"Did you hear what they said about him?"
I looked straight into her eyes and finally noticed how very blood shot they were. She had been crying hard and her nose was red as well. "Mom, what's going on? Why won't Nana let go of my arm?"
The way she looked at Nana was the same look Pa had just seconds before. Nana pulled me toward the car.
"I put my heels into the ground and tried to break away. I looked over my shoulder and couldn't find Tyler anywhere.
My eyes widened and filled with tears as I tried to break free.
Bud's car was out front by the curb and he was walking towards us. "Ready to Go?" He said to mom as he took over her grip.
"We're ready Cricket, please get in the car."
"What? Where are we going?" I asked as I tried to not get into the car. "I need to see Tyler! Would you let go of me Bud?" My head kept thinking of his last words, "I don't..." What was he trying to say? I don't want to see you? I don't want to marry you?
"We need to go," Mom said as she stood behind me and pushed. My knees buckled and in one big swoop I was in the car with Mom by my side. The car peeled out of the parking lot and we were off.
I put my head back against the seat and looked at the ceiling and said through my teeth, "Just what is going on?"
Mom was patting my knee and lying through her teeth, "Our tickets to Acapulco are for today! We are leaving in just a few hours."
I rubbed my face and smoothed my hair back. I nervously scratched the back of my head. I was struggling to find words. I started banging my head on the back of the seat and finally yelled, "Are you kidnapping me! On my graduation day! Did you know about Tyler? Bud, turn the car around and go back! I need to talk to Tyler. I have to talk to him. Bud, stop this car right now." I was gasping for breath and was hyperventilating. I turned and looked out the window and refused to speak to her the rest of the trip.
When we arrived at the airport, I sat with my arms crossed. "You can't make me go."
"We are going. I have already spent the money."
Bud pulled out two suitcases from his trunk. It was all planned. I decided not to fight and to start thinking of a plan. I had to call him. To talk to him.
"Alright. You are all set," Bud said after checking our bags at the curb.
I snipped, "You'd better answer all my questions on the plane."
Mom's face was drained of color, "Ok. On the plane. I promise. Now, do I need to take Bud as a bodyguard to the gate?"
"Where am I going to run to?"
At the gate, I looked through the carry-on Mom and Nana had packed. They really must have taken time to plan and pack for me. Inside the bag were many of my favorite outfits, snacks and even my journal. But I couldn't find any money.
While we were waiting to board, I was trying to sort out my plan. Finally, I asked Mom, "Can the prisoner go to the bathroom?"
"Do I need to watch you?"
"No. I just want to pee before we get on the plane."
"Cricket, come on. Don't talk that way. Just go to the bathroom. I'll be watching the door."
I walked to the door and saw her watching me. I walked into the bathroom, paused and walked out. I was right. She had stopped watching for a minute to give me time to pee. I went to the payphone and placed a collect call to Tyler's home. The phone rang. My heart was racing and I could not breathe. His step-father answered and accepted the call
"Mr. Bowan, its Cricket. Can I please talk to Tyler?"
"Oh, hi Cricket. No, I'm sorry, he is not here right now." He was over articulating his words. Tyler's Mom got on the phone.
"Well, hello Miss Middlebrooks. Or should I say the future Mrs. Bowan." She knew about the engagement. Which confirmed mom knew too. All my words left me. Through tears I begged, "Could I please..."
"No. You can't anything. We've decided Tyler is not thinking clearly. If he thinks he is man enough to propose then he is man enough to join the service. He needs to learn what it really means to be a man."
"What? Please can I talk to him?"
His step-father had the phone again, "No can do. Good-bye Cricket."
"But Mr. Bowan. I need to talk to him. When did this happen?"
"The recruiter has been here and it's a done deal."
"No," I yelled into the phone, Mom heard me and saw me. She was at the phone in an instant.
"What are you doing?"
"I had to call, Mom." I turned toward her and looked in her eyes, "How long have you known?"
"Honey. This is bigger than you are. Our plane is boarding. Come on, we can talk on the plane."
It was making sense. They found out. The parents found out. His parents forced him. They told Mom. She designed this trip to make it easier. But it is not easier. I will not accept this. Never.
As we walked down the jet way, I asked again, "When did you find out?"
"Thursday."
"When did you purchase the plane tickets?"
"Friday."
"Why?"
"Don't you see Cricket? You are making the same mistakes I did. You are too young to be engaged. The service is going to change him. You need to just end this now."
"And you think a little trip away is going to end our relationship?" I asked as I shoved my bag into the overhead compartment.
"I think it will make it easier. You sit on the inside, I'll take the aisle."
"I am not you. I am not going to make your same mistakes."
She sat beside me and put her hand on mine, "You already are."
Slamming the window cover shut and my head back against the seat I crossed my arms and shut my eyes, "I'll never forgive you for what you have done." The tears flowed down my cheeks.
"I hope one day you can."
We arrived in Mexico and I went straight to our room where I stayed the entire trip. I refused to go to the beach or pool. I wanted to be left alone to cry, write and sometimes scream. At night I would take a long baths to avoid her, I could hear her on the phone. Mostly she talked to Bud but one night I heard her talking to someone else.
"What should I do? I know it was a sudden decision. What else could I do? You don't understand." She hung up the phone.
I walked out of the bathroom with my hair in a towel drying my face with the end.
"Who was that?"
Mom looked away, "I was talking to Bud."
"No you weren't. I've heard you talk to him while we've been here. That wasn't him. Who was it?"
"It was Aunt Julia."
My heart sank. I had suddenly realized she was not at graduation. She wouldn't have let this happen. She would have stopped this insane plan. I sat on the edge of the bed and stared at my hands as tears flooded into my eyes. After a few moments, I looked up at Mom and said, "She wouldn't have let you go through with this. Why wasn't she at my graduation?"
Mom sat in silence for quite awhile. "I told her the wrong time for your graduation."
I raised my hand to my forehead, "It just gets better and better doesn't it? Is this what you wanted? Are you happy?"
"No. I'm not happy. I thought I was doing the right thing."
"Well, you thought wrong." I got up, went into the bathroom and slammed the door shut.
When we returned I was numb and empty. I walked blankly through the little red house feeling lost. I went to my room, lay down on my bed and tried to cry but I didn't have any more tears left. All that I had was anger. I hit the pillow with my fist, then grabbed it and threw it across the room. I slammed my head onto the bed and heard the sound of crunching paper. It was an envelope.
I opened it to find a letter and a key.