─── chapter one.
❛ DEATH OF A STAR ❜
THERE WAS A BUZZ IN HER EARS, like a pesky fly doing circles over her head. deok-ja felt the bitterness of her dry mouth, unfed stomach feeling empty as she walked through the halls of jaewon high.
she wanted to go home. school was refutable to deok-ja, something useless she'd discard the second she was out the grounds and away from the proclaimed "helpfulness" of education.
her fingers itched to punch, to break something — anything — to get the building dread in her stomach to disappear.
"you're glaring at the floor again." the quiet murmur of deok-su's voice did little to ease her.
"it's ugly." was her short response, the scowl never leaving her face.
deok-su let out a short breath, choosing not to respond to his sister's stupid remarks. they walked in a not-so-silent silence, that annoying ring in deok-ja's ear nagging her in the farthest corner of her brain.
"promise me you won't cause any trouble." deok-su said softly as the two reached a rugged looking door marked 'architecture department'.
deok-ja only hummed, not bothering to answer his request.
"deok-ja." his stern voice interrupted her walk. "promise me."
"yeah, yeah. i promise. get off my back." she replied without turning back, rolling her eyes at him and sliding the door open.
"have a good day." deok-su called after her, all too aware he wasn't going to get a response back.
sighing once more, the boy watched the door for a couple more seconds before walking off.
with a shake of his head, deok-su ignored the shouts of protest coming from the classroom behind him.
she never keeps her promises.
IT WAS ANNOYING, the yells and blabbering of the stony faced baboons before deok-ja, watching her in shock.
looking down at her uniform (an annoyingly short skirt and dress shirt) deok-ja glanced at their grey coveralls and tank tops with envy.
"a girl!" one of them yelled.
"call vasco! it's a girl!"
deok-ja took in the atmosphere, the stench of men's deodorant and the overall mess, and grimaced.
i'm going to kill someone, she groaned inwardly, ignoring the shouts of glee at her arrival.
"a what?" a voice directly behind deok-ja startled her, making her turn in a flash.
before her was someone who didn't look like he belonged in high school. he was tall — well built — with a multitude of tattoos adorning his toned arms. on his face was a small amount of stubble.
"oh." was his soft response as their eyes met. "a girl."
with a long, drawn out sigh, deok-ja looked away irritably. as she mentioned previously, she just wanted to go home.
"vasco, move out of the — " another boy, this time smaller and more intellectual looking stepped inside the classroom, and his jaw fell to the floor.
a girl! in their department!
"hi." he said stupidly. "i'm jace park. and you are?"
"done with this bullshit." she finished for him, giving them all a chilling glare.
"your name... girl." the taller tattooed guy tried again.
she studied him for a moment, eyes narrowed dangerously. "kil deok-ja."
"have more respect, that's our leader you're speaking to!" a short boy called, arms crossed. deok-ja raised an eyebrow at him, as though challenging him.
"you're all fucking disgusting." deok-ja snarled distastefully, flicking off a candy wrapper from a desk near the corner and sitting down.
"hey —!" some made to protest, but the big eared boy shut them up.
"she's not wrong, guys. you made us look bad." he muttered under his breath to the others.
"apologize!" the same short boy said angrily, slamming his foot down.
"what a child." deok-ja scoffed, hanging her backpack on the hook before standing back up.
"kil deok-ja!" the same guy from before called loudly, his eyes bright. "join burn knuckles!"
"vasco!"
"you're crazy!"
"but boss!" the boy replied incredulously. "she can't join!"
"why not?" 'vasco' asked genuinely.
"b-because!" he spluttered, eyes darting around for an excuse. "she needs to prove herself! she has to arm wrestle all of us and earn her place like everyone else did!"
"oh." vasco blinked. "you're right."
"and she won't want to do that —"
"shit, now you're talking." the scowl on her form grew to more of a crazed look. "bring it."
and at the sudden fire to her, the rest of burn knuckles felt themselves get pumped up for an inauguration.
deok-ja learned swiftly that there was a hierarchy in the group, and who was stronger than who. it was no surprise when the first person she would face was that annoying boy that was complaining about her.
he wasn't scrawny, but he wasn't strong either. his grip felt like nothing against her rough, calloused hands. in fact, they were almost smooth.
deok-ja didn't need much force to slam his hand down, despite the obvious (and ineffective) effort he was putting against her.
"cry about it," was her sneering response when he made to complain on his loss, looking between the others for support. "who's next?"
it was a strange thing to burn knuckles — the prospect of losing, much less to someone smaller than them. but they knew as soon as they made contact with deok-ja's calloused and scarred fingers that she was no ordinary person.
even in her stare, cold as ice, they dared not look her in the eye after their loss. not out of shame, but fear of her overwhelming presence.
only vasco, their leader, was able to look at the girl on equal footing. heavy hands met in the middle, two pairs of eyes contrast to the other connected.
kil deok-ja wasn't unfamiliar with losing. she'd lost plenty, whether it was fights or other things, she wasn't immune to it.
"are you a bad person?" vasco looked at her with searching eyes, as though trying to figure her out.
his hand felt like sandpaper scratching on jagged rocks — the true mark of a fighter. deok-ja refused to give in, holding her grip as though her life depended on it.
his eyes were onyx, deep as the ocean floor. they shone with that youthfulness deok-ja's eyes lacked.
"yeah, i am." she responded truthfully, feeling the weight of their combined strength in her elbow and wrist. the desk they were laid out before felt as though it would snap in half.
"i'm a fucking horrible person." deok-ja grinned, slamming his hand onto the desk.
the room went silent.
with a swiftness so quick nobody even noticed, she slipped out of her chair and made to walk out of the classroom.
"— wait!" a voice called, so she turned.
"w-welcome to burn knuckles!" the boy with big ears said loudly, shoving a mass of grey into deok-ja's hands.
with a slightly less daunting look, deok-ja observed the awkward boy before her.
"thanks." was her simple response, turning on her heel and disappearing into the bathrooms to change (and to text her brother about what a bullshit first day this had been).
TRANSFERRING SCHOOLS IN THE SECOND SEMESTER, apparently, was a big thing. deok-su disliked the stares and the whispers that appeared in his wake.
kil deok-su had never really been considered attractive by many people. his eyes were too mean — not expressive enough, like his sister's — and his words too harsh. his face wasn't half bad, neither was his height, but he was so terrifyingly silent hardly anybody cared or knew him.
it was a relief that most of the attention of his new peers was taken by the other transfer student walking a few feet behind him. now he was what people considered attractive.
with a well proportioned body, angelic facial features, and soft hair, there was nobody who didn't stop to awe at his beauty.
but that's where the line was drawn for deok-su. he didn't dare approach him, much less anybody else. his bubble was for him and deok-ja only, and it had been that way since what felt like forever ago.
attention had always irked him. that was one thing that set the two apart. deok-su despised being the center of attention, an object for people to gawk at. while deok-ja sneered down at people — and more often than not spat rude words — at those watching her, deep down she didn't hate being viewed as strong.
for deok-su it was different. he didn't want to be strong, he didn't want the burden nor the title. his fists haunted him in a way that was so addicting he couldn't ever stop if he started. he was weak at heart — unlike his sister who'd toughened herself up after years of incessant sweat and work — and there was always something holding him back.
it was the fear, not of losing, but of annihilating everything in his path. attention was the root of this problem, and he'd be better off without it.
that was why he couldn't ever get close to anyone but who he had already. it was a vow, a rule he must follow if he wished to stay as deok-su.
those days were over. while deok-ja might still be stuck in the past, he had long moved on. the only issue was, the past held onto him tighter than he liked.
"QUIET!" deok-su wished the teacher could've said it more quietly, praying he'd just get this over before he accidentally broke his fingers from fiddling with them in anxiety.
"we have two new transfer students."
deep breaths, deok-su reminded himself, letting his shoulders relax. the boy beside him looked like a bundle of nerves, and deok-su almost felt bad for him.
it was convenient that deok-su always had an eerily calm expression on his face, devoid of any trace of nervousness. it was a good thing, he thought as he breathed out. nobody would ever want to befriend someone who looked like he just came back from a decade long war.
"come on in!"
their introduction was swift, but it sent anxiety like a bucket of cold water down deok-su. his heart involuntarily raced at the prospect of addressing the entire class (he may have been a good fighter, but public speaking was not his strong suit).
yet another small pang of relief echoed through deok-su as the other transfer student took the lead, eliciting excited murmurs from a multitude of the girls.
"i'm daniel park, nice to meet you." the boy smiled nervously, and it was as though the class had been hit by a blinding ray of light.
but just as that ray arrived, it was gone when deok-su stepped up, aura emanating such gloominess it may as well have felt as though somebody died.
"i'm kil deok-su. nice to meet you." and with a small dip of his head, deok-su retreated to the nearest empty seat beside a dark haired boy. daniel park, the other transfer, stole his ideal seat beside a quiet yellow haired kid.
adjusting his glasses with trembling fingers, deok-su did his best to ignore the murmurs and quiet chuckles about his depressing introduction.
it's just words. no need to get angry or upset, he told himself, placing a firm hand on his bouncing leg in order to calm the jitter of nerves in his body.
it was during these times when deok-su wished he possessed deok-ja's inability to care about trivial things such as introductions. it was in her nature to be unbothered when she couldn't care less.
unfortunately for deok-su, his mind was always working. whether or not he should say hi to the boy beside him, whether said boy would punch him if he did, wether he would be able to dodge without attracting any stares — that type of thinking ahead.
the gears were constantly turning, calculating every possible occurrence that might happen in that short second span. this may or may not lead to spacing out, and deok-su was prone to that often.
so with the last of his remaining courage, he swiftly turned to face his seat mate, gave him the nicest strained smile he could manage, and murmured a quiet "hi."
the boy only stared at him in response, eyes narrowed and piercing. only after a few dread inducing seconds did he finally speak.
"hey." was his response. quick and short.
concluding that his greeting was the end of their conversation, deok-su lowered his eyes to the floor and brought his head down to rest between his arms.
i hope deok-ja's doing better than i am, his only thoughts as he let his focus wander past the classroom to his short-tempered sister.
LUNCH ARRIVED SLOWER THAN EITHER SIBLING AWAITED, their eyes constantly trained on the clocks above their classrooms (deok-ja's classroom clock was heavily graffitied and barely worked).
it seemed to deok-ja that days had passed since she last smelled the fresh air of outside. the architecture room smelled like men's body spray and sweat (as she'd previously mentioned), and she was glad the new grey coveralls she'd changed into were clean.
sporting the burn knuckles insignia as deok-ja walked around campus to find the cafeteria earned her a lot of awed stares. they sort of pissed her off, since people rarely minded their own business and loved sticking their noses into the business of others.
all she really wanted was to eat her lunch in peace with deok-su (who, hopefully, was still sane) and go home.
however, the architecture department had different plans.
"as a member of burn knuckles, you can't eat alone!" vasco protested, his warm hand laid gently against her shoulder, his lips pulled into a small frown.
"for the last time, i'm not eating alone!" deok-ja snarled, and as those words left her mouth the entirety of the cafeteria went silent.
"what the fuck is everybody staring at, huh?" she glared at the eyes looking in her direction, prying vasco's grip off her shoulder.
this fucking sucked.
their eyes followed her as she picked up a tray and filled it with every possible food option there was. at that point, it looked like a meal for three than for one.
deok-ja was grateful when she spotted her brother's familiar glasses and averted eyes, as though praying she wouldn't sit with him and attract attention to his lonely table. but it's a sibling's job to make their other siblings suffer, so of course deok-ja took a seat in front of him without much thought.
vasco, to her surprise, placed his tray beside her and sat down with that look a kid would give his brand new puppy.
and then the rest of the burn knuckles followed, placing their trays and sitting themselves on the table.
great, thought deok-su as he swallowed harshly, feeling dozens of eyes burning holes into his back. more attention.
"i thought i told you all to get lost." deok-ja muttered angrily at the grey-clothed mass.
"burn knuckles stay together." was vasco's simple response before he began eating.
"deok-ja, you joined a gang?!" deok-su whispered in shock, his glasses sliding a few centimeters down his nose.
"it's not a gang, stupid. it's the name of the architecture department's crew." she rolled her eyes in response.
"oh. that's okay, then." deok-su blanched, shrugging. "what did you do to get that?"
he gestured at her grey coveralls.
"i arm wrestled."
of course. of course! what else other than senseless violence did deok-su expect from his sister?
"of course you did." he sighed quietly, not bothering to scold her for something she didn't feel sorry about.
"how was the fashion department? you make any clothes for yourself or something?" deok-ja snickered at the expression of mild annoyance on her brother's face.
"i wish." deok-su mumbled in reply. "i had to introduce myself and now i sit next to some dumbass who puts all his efforts into looking cool."
"poor little deok-su." deok-ja sneered mockingly, gesturing to the crowd currently sitting at their table with her eyes. "it must be so difficult being you."
"i'm allowed to complain too, you know." deok-su rolled his eyes.
deok-ja's grin went softer as she gazed at her brother, obviously knowing he wasn't really upset by her words.
"did you at least make one friend?" she asked hopefully, praying her brother had finally gotten over his 'nobody-but-us' mindset.
as though taunting her, deok-su raised an eyebrow in response. "did you?"
with a scowl, deok-ja ignored the sudden attention from the burly guys at their table and focused her glare onto her plate.
after a short silence, she finally replied with a quiet "no", making vasco sadly frown.
deok-su smiled at her response, all too aware of the looks the rest of their table was shooting her.
"whatever," deok-ja exhaled loudly, shoving rice into her mouth. "let's just get this day over with already."
with a shake of his head, deok-su complied to his sister's annoyed response.
THE FINAL BELL WAS LIKE A SAVING GRACE TO DEOK-SU. as soon as it rang, he was finally rid of the ceaseless murmurs and annoyingly cruel smiles and laughs.
with one hand on his backpack strap and the other holding his phone, he anxiously waited for deok-ja outside her rowdy department.
the yells were so loud he was afraid they'd missed the bell, meaning he'd have to wait longer. sometimes it was annoying being the patient sibling.
the door to the architecture department slid open, and all of a sudden dozens of heavily tattooed students were pooling out, their expressions fierce. the one at the very front paused and he pointed at deok-su.
suddenly his blood ran cold as all eyes were on him.
"you're... tigress's brother!" he smiled, his face muscles looking strangely unnatural at the prospect.
"oh, yeah." was deok-su's blunt response, voice monotone in order to hide the rising wave of awkwardness in him. "wait, tigress?"
"me, you idiot." deok-ja nudged his side, emerging from the crowd of grey uniforms. "and i told you not to call me that kung-fu panda shit."
with an annoyed expression, deok-ja gestured for deok-su to follow, her steps ringing clear through the hallways.
"bye! see you at school tommorow!" burn knuckles waved enthusiastically, making deok-su wonder why they were still so nice to his sister after she brutally killed off any friendship advances with her harsh words.
eyes rolling in annoyance, deok-ja ignored their goodbyes.
"so irritating." she muttered under her breath as deok-su came into earshot.
in between the crowds rushing out of class and loud laughter, the kil siblings said nothing to one another as they walked home. silence followed them all the way up to their house, and neither bothered to break it.
the quiet was something both needed.
deok-su's keys jingled against the lock, and it took a good shove for the door to finally open.
"hungry?" he asked as he tossed the keys on the kitchen counter and his backpack on the floor near the door, slipping his shoes off and putting some slippers on his feet.
deok-su scoured their almost bare pantry before turning to look at his sister, who was really always hungry. "spicy or regular noodles?"
"regular. we're almost out of milk." deok-ja responded with her head in the fridge, checking their food for the week.
deok-su couldn't handle spicy food well, and deok-ja was sure he'd end up drinking the entire carton of milk in his haste to rid his tongue of the spice.
"im going out to buy some stuff. need anything?" deok-ja asked as she walked out of her room, wearing pajama pants and a hoodie, her hair hidden underneath a beanie and her hood.
"hm... milk, eggs, and some glue and tape for my glasses." deok-su hummed as he adjusted the lenses on his face.
"be back in 15." was her response as she slipped on her shoes and closed the door after her.
with her babies (her wireless headphones) over her ears, she blasted music all the way to the convenience store, hands stuffed into the pockets of her pants.
deok-ja lowered the headphones to rest against her neck as she entered the store, paying no mind to the pushover at the counter. it was clearly his first week on the job, judging by the timid expression on his face.
the jingle of the door rang through through the empty store, making the boy's head perk up only to cower once more at deok-ja's fierce glare.
grabbing a basket by the front, she placed milk and eggs from the fridge and a few packs of instant noodles and bowls for later. all her and deok-su lived off was noodles at this point.
throwing in two packs of bubblegum and some super glue to the basket, deok-ja paused at the snack isle.
she didn't miss the jingle of the door and the voices of what were clearly teenagers demanding cigarettes.
"give me 4 packs of marlboro lights." the tallest sneered down at the cashier.
"can i see your id, please?"
"..."
"this doesn't look like you..."
"i've put on some weight, okay? just give me the damn smokes!"
"i'm sorry, i can't..."
with a roll of her eyes, deok-ja snatched a large pack of chips and walked to the counter, placing her basket on the surface.
"hey lady, wait your turn!" one of the thugs asked, and deok-ja felt her jaw clench as she swiveled to face them.
"who the fuck you calling 'lady', huh?" she snarled at them.
"we were here first!" another piped up.
"minors can't buy cigarettes, idiots." deok-ja fired back, pushing the basket to the part timer, who hastily began scanning the items.
"w-we're not minors!"
"save it for someone who actually gives a shit." she said as she handed the cashier a few bills.
"hey, stop messing around — let's just go somewhere else!" another voice called from the door.
deok-ja raised her head to the entrance, only to find a surprised glance settled on her figure.
"you... you're that chick that just joined burn knuckles, aren't you?" the boy said with interest in his face.
the other goons muttered to themselves as deok-ja grabbed the bag from the cashier and placed her headphones back on, not even bothering to answer the boy's question.
"find something better to do with your time, assholes." she called after them, sidestepping the incredulous looking kid and leaving the others in surprise.
"shit, it's been 15 minutes." deok-ja clicked her tongue in annoyance, remembering her words to her brother earlier about only needing 15 minutes to return. "my noodles are going to get soggy."
curse those brainless bastards who wasted her time.
WITH BEADS OF SWEAT FORMING ON HER FACE, deok-ja hurled open the door and discarded her shoes at the entrance, eager to finally eat (again).
"i got some more noodles to last the week so —" she addressed the room, eyes on the floor as she rummaged through the plastic bag in her hands only to raise her head and be greeted with an unwelcome face.
"hey," gun raised a hand to wave good-naturedly at deok-ja from his criss-cross position on the floor.
across from him was a stony faced deok-su, his unblinking gaze staring endlessly into his half eaten bowl of noodles. in front of gun was another bowl (more importantly, it was deok-ja's bowl) only it was empty. the noodle pot was empty as well.
with anger blazing into deok-ja, she placed the bag on the floor and shrugged off her hoodie.
"get up." she called to the taller teen through gritted teeth.
"oh? i came in peace, but if you want to fight..." gun removed his fancy blazer and tossed his glasses onto the table. "last time didn't end so well for you, yet you're challenging me again. how brave."
"oh yeah? what about that souvenir i left on you?" deok-ja snarled.
"both of you, quit it." deok-su spoke up, and suddenly he was standing between them.
"you want a rematch too?" gun snorted, adjusting his sleeves.
"goo might've completed it, but don't forget who gave you that scar in the first place." deok-su muttered darkly, flicking his finger against the bridge of gun's nose.
with a loud exhale, gun rolled his eyes. "you're both no fun."
"go fuck yourself. and next time you eat my food i'll shove a 20 foot pole down your throat and make it come out of your ass." deok-ja glared at the dark haired boy.
"i knew i should've brought goo." he muttered under his breath, facing both kils. "fine, i'll go. my offer still stands though."
"like hell we'll accept it." deok-ja sneered, slamming the door shut after him.
with a forlorn look towards her eaten bowl of noodles, deok-ja sighed loudly and snatched her hoodie from the floor and her gum from the discarded bag.
"i'm going to sleep. this whole day was a fucking headache." she said to deok-su, patting him on the shoulder as she passed.
he cracked a humorless smile.
# LOVE, RAY !
deok-ja hates men (not including deok-su) and deok-su is just shy
i'm so excited for these two twins bc i have big things planned (also bc i couldn't find that much good lookism x oc books that were long so i'm gonna try to make one — key word try lmao)