Sunlight softly crashed through my eyelids, taking me from my dreams and forcing me into the day. Though I felt well-rested - even better than back in Apicya - I still stifled a yawn as my arm stretched outwards, extending my entire body, up until my little toes.
And as they stretched, they had all the room in the bed to do so. My eyes flickered open, only to stare at an empty mountain of pillows. I patted the mattress, but when my hand met with the cold linen, my earlier yawn turned into a sigh.
While I was grateful Jerr had let me sleep to get some much-needed rest, my morning would have started better with two.
Then again, if Jerr had still been here, we probably wouldn't have gotten out of bed.
I threw the blankets off of me, letting my warmth vanish into nothingness, too.
But when I walked into the hallway to get some clothes from my room, I wasn't met with the liveliness I had expected for a morning. I passed three wolves on my way to my room, but I normally would have seen that amount of my fellow pack members in my small hallway alone.
It wasn't until I reached the dining room for breakfast - to find it mostly empty - that my eyes fluttered toward the windows.
Fuck, I thought to myself as I looked at the Sun, which already stood quite high in the sky. I had slept through breakfast with Lotta.
I hasted toward her room, but after three feeble knocks, I cut my losses. I made my way back to the dining room, my shoulders slumping, but my stomach grumbling in empty agony.
And without Lotta's company, the oats tasted even blander than usual.
As soon as I had fueled my body, I practically sprinted outside, hoping to find Lotta. I hoped she wasn't angry with me - but my heart felt jittery and my hands were sweaty when I tried looking for her.
The pack was still very much alive. Antsy people crowded the streets and the Manor's gardens. It seemed there were more than yesterday, but if Beckett was rallying forces, Aven was, too. I figured more pack members from all over the lands would join us here in Rahas.
Would the humans fight, too? They knew about our secret, but would that be enough to prepare them for the foes they would meet on the battlefield?
Would the people in Fire Moon fight-
Oh, by the Moons. I couldn't finish my thought when my heart suddenly fell in my chest.
Benjamin was still in Spitta. I assumed that was where Aven's army would be going, since Beckett had settled his central pack life there, and Aven would want to go directly after Beckett.
And Aven was going to wipe them all out - he had clarified his stance. He wanted none of Fire Moon spared.
Humans would perish in this war, too. Defenseless humans, Benjamin.
When my heart found its place back in my chest, it was broken into a thousand pieces. How could I have forgotten about him?
I needed to find Aven. I needed to save Benjamin, I needed to get him out. He had saved me countless times, but now, I needed to save him.
My legs wanted to get moving - but I didn't know where to. My vision was blurred with moving figures, men and women alike, fading into each other into a mass of hair, clothes, and limbs.
Yesterday, Jerr had known Aven would be here, near the Manor. I needed to begin my search here, though I'd scour the entire city if I had to.
I began running towards the garden - the main part of the army was gathered there, setting up extra tents for new soldiers that arrived.
My path was blocked by passersby, but I shoved them aside, ignoring their curses after I did so. The sun could burn me at their command, but I would still try to look for my Alpha, to get his aid.
The more the masses condensed, the harder it became to reach the gardens at a steady pace. I had to halt a few times, trying not to get run over by passing carts or horses.
When I would find Aven, what would I even say? What could I say to convince him to help Benjamin, to help me? His dislike of me was clear as day, he wouldn't risk anything to help me. But still, I had to try.
Jerr! Jerr would help me. And Aven would listen to Jerr. At least, I hoped so.
I kept pushing through people, the Sun mockingly burning on my skin, tempting me into believing she had granted the wishes of the people I'd shoved aside.
Until my eyes finally landed on the chilling, night-black head of hair that walked at the edges of the garden, just exiting a tent.
Before I knew what I was doing, I had caught up with him. "Aven!"
He turned around, his deadly stare intensely zoned in on me. "What?"
I gulped before I dared speak again, a feeble attempt to get my hands to stop shaking. "I need-" By the Moons, now that he was standing here before me, I was at an absolute loss for words. How could I tell him what I needed to do?
"You need what?" he asked, his voice cold and sharp, but his face didn't flinch.
"Are we going to Spitta?" I blurted out.
He raised his brow, though he seemed unimpressed by my blunt question. "Yes," he answered, his tone still as biting as before.
I caught myself fidgeting with my hands, forcing them still against my hips as soon as I realized. But even the breath I exhaled was a bit shakier than I wanted - he would never take me seriously. "There are humans there," I began.
"Make your point, young wolf," he interrupted. "Do not waste my time."
"Yes, Aven," I said apologetically, though that didn't seem to evoke any other emotion out of him than sheer boredom. "When I lived in Spitta, there were a few humans who helped me. I wouldn't be alive today if it wasn't for them. They're innocent in all of this - if anything they hate Beckett just as much as-"
"Get to your point faster," he urged, and that boredom seemed to cave for the smallest hint of frustration, that was lighting a growl in his throat.
"I have to warn them."
His eyebrows shot up again as he stepped toward me. Every step closer to me made me want to cave, to crawl into a little ball and stay that way until my Alpha allowed me to breathe again. But I owed it to Benjamin to fight for him, so I stayed upright, and straightened myself even more.
Aven stopped when he was within reaching distance - I could almost feel his breath colliding on my cheeks. From up close, his silver eyes were striking and deadly.
"What now?" he asked, almost mockingly.
"I have to save them, they're innocent."
"Let me get this straight," he began, taking one step closer to me. "You want me to risk whatever time I have to catch them by surprise, just so you can warn some humans that the big bad wolves are coming?"
"Yes," I answered, feeling my heart pounding in my chest.
"No."
"Aven, please," I breathed. "They can't die!"
"A lot of innocent people die in wars, Sari," he said, his silver gaze fuming with an emotion I couldn't quite place. "You want me to risk possibly even more lives - the lives of my people, just so you can get your humans out in time?"
"They wouldn't alert Beckett's pack," I argued.
"They wouldn't need to," he countered. "Beckett's wolves could smell you out and realize we were there. And even if they wouldn't, don't you think they would find it oddly suspicious that all the humans would suddenly vanish from the town?"
Aven broke our stare - one that I hadn't realized until now that I had held, before he turned around and started walking away.
No!
"What if I don't get them all out? But just the ones that helped me?" Even if my heart would break at the sight of all the corpses I wouldn't have gotten out - people I could have saved - I needed to get Benjamin and his family out. I owed them my life, and I was prepared to give it, now that I was talking back to Aven this much.
He turned around and his eyes found mine again. His power crashed over me, making every bone in my body scream, begging me to submit. But I wouldn't falter.
"And how exactly do you think that would work, huh? You think they won't take it upon themselves to save their kin?"
"No," I bit back, not giving Aven the chance to turn around again and dismiss me. "I will wait until the very last moment to warn them. Benjamin has... He has kids. He won't risk their safety if there's not enough time left."
Aven stayed quiet for a moment. "And where would they go? I will not offer them refuge."
"Are you planning on wiping the town itself from the maps?" I asked, immediately regretting my tone when I saw fury flicker in his silver stare.
"If I have to, yes," he said, his voice growing more and more frustrated.
"I'm sure they can find shelter in nearby towns or villages until they can return to Spitta," I said. As far as I knew, Benjamin had always saved up most of his income from the Dancing Wolf, so they wouldn't be left without anything.
The Alpha deigned to speak again for an instant, my insides burning in anticipation.
"What happens if you warn Beckett yourself?"
By the Moons. "I would never do that, Aven. I don't know what more you want of me, I have done everything you asked to prove my loyalty. I want to see that sunburned Alpha dead more than anyone."
"Hmm," he breathed before silence consumed us again. But it wasn't a silence that invited me to speak, so I kept quiet until he opened his mouth again. "You do still realize we will go to war in Spitta?"
"Yes," I answered, trying to hide my offense.
"Do you also realize that you will see monsters far worse than I?"
"I have already seen those."
Aven stayed quiet again, his eyes squinting a little in contemplation. Finally, he spoke again. "I am sending out a group of scouts. You can join them, on the condition you do not get in their way and you do not go into that town until the very last moment. Understood?"
I could go? "Yes, of course, thank you," I said, a breath escaping that I hadn't realized I was holding. "When do I leave?"
"Now. I was just headed to them when you stopped me," he said, still visibly sour from my interruption.
"Now?"
"Yes, now," he answered, turning back around and forcing me after him.
"But I thought we weren't leaving for another two days."
He let out an irritated sigh, giving me a glance from the corner of his eyes that made me want to shrink into a hole somewhere. "It is not unusual for scouts to leave earlier, you know. To scout."
"Right," I muttered.
I followed him all the way to the back of the city, where we walked behind the gates. Some small flocks of people were arriving in Rahas, making their way to wherever they could be useful. Aven didn't really give them any other acknowledgement than a subtle nod when we passed them, his pace even more hasted now that we had passed the walls.
Until we eventually met with a smaller group of six men. One of them, I recognized from my training sessions with Feytan. He was often training in the mornings too, but he had never bothered to pay any attention to me. I supposed I could feel rather grateful for that, because I could have also been paired with the wolf whose house I had egged.
"This is Sari," Aven said, flicking his head towards me.
"We know," one of them answered, seeming unbothered by my presence.
"She will join you on your way to Spitta. She has some business to attend to, but she has assured me she will not bother you, so your plans don't change. She will stay with you until right before we attack."
"Yes, Aven," another one commented.
"Is everything ready?"
"Yes," the one I recognized said. "We're all packed and ready to go."
"Is everything we discussed yesterday still clear?"
"Yes," they confirmed.
"Good," Aven stated, his earlier frustration subtly fading away. "Then you are set to leave."
"Yes, Aven," they answered, before they headed into the woods, and came back out as wolves, each holding a closed bag in their mouths.
"Sari, you will put your clothes into one of their bags, and rotate carrying it."
"Yes, Aven," I said, ignoring my wilding heart.
"Are you sure you want to go, Sari?" he asked. "You will die on that battlefield."
But so would Benjamin. So would his family. "Then tell Jerr and Lotta I said goodbye." My heart broke as the words passed over my lips, but I needed to do this. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't - in a way, I'd die all the same.
Aven nodded his head, and I could've sworn I saw a shimmer of recognition across his face. Perhaps it could have even been respect, but his face soon turned stoic again.
After Aven pointed his chin towards the woods, I disappeared behind a large tree I spotted, and began undressing myself. As soon as I shifted, I joined the group of wolves again and handed my clothes to Aven, who shoved them in one of the bags.
As we were readying ourselves to leave, Aven called out one last thing to the wolves before we disappeared into the forest. And his words chilled me to my core.
"If she tries to enter the town before she's allowed, you kill her on the spot."