(Bit of bad language, but not much. You've been warned...)
Eva's POV
He was there. He was actually there. I couldn't believe he had found me and by the looks of his face and the shock, disbelief then happiness that crossed it told me he couldn't either. For a second we just stood there with neither of us moving, but then he put the tray down and spontaneously ran to me and lifted me into his arms in a crushing hug. I didn't mind, not at all. I hugged him back with just as much force, finally accepting how much I had missed him, being in my prison. He was warm in my arms and they delighted in being full again, as did my heart. Images of Rob ran through my head whipping round and round in circles so fast that I had no other thoughts left. I felt his firm torso and having it pressed against me made me feel both vulnerable and safe at the same time.
When we had eventually let go of each other I could see how confused he was. He needed an explanation and as much as it was going to hurt seeing his rejection I knew that I was the one he needed to find it out from, but first I would allow myself a small time of being purely happy about his presence. He held me at arms length and looked me up and down.
"Have you lost weight Poppy? Why are they feeding you this shit?" I also looked at my body analytically. I was noticeably thinner, bordering on unhealthily so. The truth was that recently I had simply lost the motivation to eat. Aunt, however, was overjoyed at my current figure as apparently skeletal was in fashion at court this season. She took it as encouragement, thinking I was purposely dieting to please the Prince.
Rob was angry. He didn't need to say anything else; I could tell by the way he dropped his hands but had them clenched in fists at his sides. I reached forward to stroke his cheek in an attempt to calm him down. It worked, I think, as he released his hands and ran them through his shortened hair. His new hair made him seem older, more handsome, but for some reason I couldn't help miss the way his fringe used to flop into his eyes. It had given him such a boyish charm.
"Don't worry, Rob. I'm f-fine," I started but my voice broke on fine. I just wasn't and seeing Rob reminded me of how I used to be. I had changed in just weeks of slight isolation. I guess the truth of what my future was going to hold had finally sunk in and I had simply resigned myself to it and given up all hope of future happiness.
"No, no you're fucking not, Poppy. You're not, so don't fucking lie to me. Why the hell have you been locked in here? Why aren't I 'sposed to talk to you?" I had thought Rob was angry, but he was furious. I took a cautious step back. His face was red and his nostrils flared. He was glaring at me, but I didn't understand why. I hadn't asked to be sent here. In fact I had asked, pleaded, to be let out again.
When Rob noticed me move away a worried look flashed over his eyes. He reached his hand out trying to capture mine and halt my retreat, but I pulled mine away before he could. I didn't miss the hurt etched all over his expression.
"I'm sorry Poppy. I didn't mean...I'm not angry at you, I'm just mad at whoever did this," he mumbled some profanities that I had never heard before. "I just don't understand whatever the hell is happening here," He gestured to the room. This time when he hesitantly reached for my hand I clutched his tightly, lightly tracing over his knuckles with my thumb. He stepped forward so now all that was in the small gap between us was our entwined fingers.
"I've just missed you so much. I thought you didn't want to see me anymore..." Rob whispered, but I quickly interrupted him.
"How could you think that Rob? Doesn't this," I raised our hands still lovingly connected, "mean anything to you?" I saw his relieved gaze, which was directly at my eyes shift a little lower until he was looking at my lips. I licked them and bit down on my lower one slightly. His gaze did weird things to me. My insides were churning in a completely pleasant way.
"Maybe you should remind me?" He asked even quieter and then pulled me so our chests were pressed against each other. Our hands had dropped from their embrace, but only so mine could reach around his neck and his could cradle my waist.
"Maybe I should..." I trailed off. We were so close that my lips brushed against his when I murmured my words. His eyes were closed as if in concentration, a little frown marked between his brows. With a groan he finally lent down a little further so we were actually kissing.
The sparks were flying through my blood stream so fast, but I had just enough awareness to notice the door was unlocked and slightly open. I shoved Rob slightly away from me and I didn't need to look at his face to know he would be wondering why I had interrupted the kiss. Instead I walked past him and towards the door and closed it softly after peering down the empty-thank the stars- corridor.
"Can I have the key?" To my delight he didn't hesitate in offering it to me, even though he was still a little upset I had halted his romantic advances. I knew he must have been expressly told to not let me anywhere near the key in case I tried to escape so the way he passed it over without even a slight question made me feel trusted.
I carefully locked the door from the inside. There was no bolt on this side for obvious reasons, but the door would now no longer open on immediate pressure.
When I turned my back to the door I noticed Rob looking at me with smug and lazy smirk plastered all over his face. I realised what my actions implied and I blushed profusely. He chuckled to himself, amused before coming closer to me. He kept walking forward so I began to walk back until my back was against the cool wall and he was leaning against it with one hand, looking down at me and penning me in.
"Don't worry, angel. I don't expect anything from you. Just this is fine," He leaned down for another stolen kiss, but I pushed him away again. This time I kept pushing him until he reached the bed. I shoved him little harder and he playfully fell onto the bed but clung onto my shoulders so I fell on top of him. He began to laugh again, but I silenced him by taking his lips in a passionate kiss. The way our bodies were positioned was incredibly intimate as I was literally directly on top of him. There was no point of our selves where we weren't touching each other. With a slight growl he rolled us both over so now he was on top of me and was grinning down at me with a lustful glint in his eyes. I let him kiss me again, hard. His lips were becoming more demanding and I felt his tongue at the entrance of my mouth, as if it was asking for entrance.
I turned my head to the side instead of allowing it in. Rob didn't falter and began placing feather light kisses around my jaw and neck.
"Rob, we can't do this right now. I need to talk to you first," I wiggled under him, but that only caused hm to moan slightly. I could feel exactly what I was doing to him. I'd never even kissed anyone before Rob, yet being like this with him didn't scare me at all. I tried a different tactic while he still continued to suck at my throat which was rather distracting.
"If you still want to to do this after what I have to say, then we can," I said. I had to tell him now. I had to tell him before we took things too far. My conscience wouldn't be able to take the strain of constantly lying to Rob anymore. If he still wanted to kiss Eva then I was telling him the truth when I said he could. I just didn't think that was very likely.
"For real?" He asked popping his head up. With the hopeful look in his eyes and his ruffled up hair he looked like an excited puppy. I nodded and he rolled off me again. I sat up and crossed my legs, so I was sat near his head.
"I want you to know how s-sorry I am, Rob. I never meant for this to happen. I just....I just wanted to be somebody else, anybody else for a little while," I started but Rob broke in.
"I like how you are, Poppy," He said earnestly, but that was the problem. He may like Poppy, but I wasn't Poppy no matter how much wished my lie was true.
"The thing is Rob, Poppy isn't...isn't who I am," He must have thought I wasn't being literal as he sat up and asked in a joking voice,
"So, mystery girl, if you're not Poppy, who are you?" I knew he was just fooling around and wasn't expecting my serious response.
"I'm Eva, Evangeline Moorley. Niece of King Geoffrey of the Realm and lady of this house," He was about to laugh at my joke but stopped when he saw how serious I was being.
"What the hell?"
"Poppy isn't real. I made her up so you wouldn't run away from me or bow down and act all weird with me like everyone else in this whole stinking world does," He had stood up and was pacing. He was angry again, very angry, but this time it was directed at me. I could tell he didn't fully believe me yet.
"If you're really Lady Evangeline," he said in a mocking tone, "then why the hell are you locked away in the servants' quarters?" He was searching for a reason that would mean my words weren't so devastatingly true.
"I broke Aunt's rules," I said simply, knowing that although Rob may hate me now he would still feel guilty if he knew he was the reason behind my punishment. I couldn't bring myself to tell him about my planned betrothal to the Prince right now. That would make It too final for me. Rob clutched at his head in anger breathing loudly through his clenched teeth. He felt betrayed, I knew that.
The thing he did next was the worst thing imaginable. I was stood with tears already thick in my throat and he was facing me. He slowly sank to his knees in front of me, as was customary for servants to do in my presence. His head was bowed, not meeting my desperate eyes.
"Rob!" I shrieked. No movement.
"Rob!" still nothing.
"Rob, look at me," He immediately looked up. His eyes were void of all expression. He was looking at me as the servants looked at Aunt, never quite making eye contact as that was seen as rude. I knew I had only known Rob for a little while, but he was still the only person who had ever treated me as a girl. To him I hadn't been a burden or a means to move higher in the social standings. To him I hadn't been a high and mighty stuck up spoiled daughter of a whore. To him I was just a girl and he was just a boy. It had been that simple to him. To me he was also a boy, but a boy who held my heart so tightly that the mere thought of him made it twinge as if he had squeezed it. He was my only escape from all the pressures I had on me. That is why it hurt so much when he looked at me exactly like everyone else did. Like everything I thought we had meant nothing and I was just that girl who we worked for and secretly loathed. He didn't even seem to hate me anymore. Now I understood what the books meant when they said hate wasn't the opposite of love, apathy was.
And that is exactly how Rob looked at me
"What are you doing?" I was sobbing now, the tears streaming down my face. My voice had taken on a desperate tone that I couldn't calm down. He didn't even blink. I shook his shoulders and at least this made him make eye contact. All the affection and kindness I had seen previously was gone.
"Please Rob, please Rob, please, please, please," The tears were falling uncontrollably and after more attempts to get Rob to speak I turned around and flung myself on the bed, face down. Without noticing it Rob had got up and was leaning over me.
"I thought you were like me Pop-Eva. I thought we had something special, but that was all built on lies. All that time spent waiting for you in the meadow when you were probably laughing at how stupid I was," His venomous words just made me cry harder.
"I waited for you!" He shouted louder.
"Every single day I went there, just in case you decided to turn up and grace me with your presence. I didn't even care when you didn't! Do you know how stupid that is? Do you? I do now. I was a stupid lovesick fool," I couldn't even bring myself to look at him when he questioned me. I hated myself for not being able to answer in a way that would make everything alright again.
I sat up again and opened my mouth struggling to bring the right words to my tongue. All this resulted in was me looking like a goldfish. I felt like a goldfish; a goldfish on land. No air could make it through my sobbing throat.
"Do you want to know what the worst part is?" He asked in a hushed tone. His voice seemed endlessly sad. I looked down at my lap, not sure how to respond.
"I thought...I thought I loved you!' My heart just about stopped.
"But you wouldn't even know what that meant. You're just like all of the rest of them, just like all the other fucking snobby pricks here! How could you play me along like that? How could you just fool around with my feelings? Well this is what you get, mi'lady, for being a liar. You get my hate. May that keep your cold heart warm, or better yet may that burn you and leave its mark," I couldn't bear to hear any more of this. My heart was in pieces and breathing just made a stabbing pain in my stomach from lack of oxygen.
"Go," I mumbled barely audibly.
"What's that, oh great one?" His mocking tone reached me and I just broke.
"Go, just go! Leave me alone and go!" I screamed at his face. I registered a change in his expression before I flung myself back down again crying so hard my head hurt from the sound and my shoulders shook violently with every gasped breath I took.
"Lock me in and go," I couldn't scream anymore. I threw the key I had still clutched in my hand in his direction.
I heard him walk slowly away and the lock clunk as he must have turned the key. I didn't do anything. I just laid there. Rob had just managed something not even Aunt had achieved. Rob had broken me. The tears wouldn't even come anymore. After he left there was just nothing. Nothing until my nothingness turned to blackness and I slipped into an exhausted state of unconsciousness.
Author's Note
I'm sorry! This made my heart hurt just writing it, but I can understand where Rob is coming from. Why can't Eva just tell him she loves him and make him realise just how much he means to her? Hope you enjoyed the drama. No more Poppy (for some reason that makes me sad).
Until next time, please Vote, comment and just have a nice life really.
Gabi <3