?????: oh uh, hey paisonos, it's a me Mario, now you may be wondering, what am I doing on your TV, well here's a question to ask you, what are you a cop?
Mario: nah I'm just joking, I'm here to talk all stuff about Funkin Battle and where the contestants are now, let's start with the first two, Dorkly Sonic and Dorkly Tails, after both season one and season two, Dorkly Sonic stayed pretty much the same but Dorkly Tails changed pretty much becoming a investor with a few hundred thousand dollars.
(*meanwhile with those two*)
Dorkly Tails: rents due loser, let's go, pay up.
Dorkly Sonic: Ugh, I'm a little short this month, you know you can cover for me right?
Dorkly Tails: Dude, for starters, you're completely broke, every season that we joined, you've lost early.
Dorkly Sonic: well it's cause of your jackass.
Dorkly Tails: hey, at least I'm not the one who spent my money on coke and Dreamcast stocks.
(*back to mario*)
Mario: next, the two me clones, Speedrunner me and GB made a duo called the Speedy Gameboys.
(*meanwhile with those two*)
GB: yo speedrunner mario, got a order for you.
Speedrunner Mario: what is it?
GB: they want a gameboy color with Mario Land one and two.
(*speedrunner Mario grabs the stuff and packages it up*)
GB: wow man, that was fast.
Speedrunner Mario: hey, I do everything fast.
(*back with Mario again*)
Mario: now, to dish some drama out, this is between one contestant, Sky, we have a anonymous interviewer who has to dish some dirt about sky, let's put them on the audio.
(*mario turns on the audio*)
??????????: hello?
Mario: hello there, are you the anonymous interviewer?
??????????: yep, that's me.
Mario: alright so, what dirt do you need to dish about sky.
??????????: well, she's too insane for starters, she's a fangirl, she's also a demon, she tried to kill me once, and, she tried to also steal my boyfrie...
?????????: Bapboop skdoo bap beepo skdabeep bap skdoo boop bappity skebap, beeeep beepbop beep beepaa beep bap boop baaaap be bopo skebap be skdoo bappity bapboop?
Mario: wait a minute, girlfriend!
Girlfriend: fuck, I've been caught, yeah, I had some dirt to dish about sky cause of how far she's been making it in the last two seasons.
Boyfriend: Beeeep beepbop baaaap bep beep bappity' beepaa baaaap be bopo bapboop boop beepaa beep beepo be bappity bapboop beeeep skdoo beepaa beepbop skbep bip baaaap bapboop skdoo bap beepo skdabeep bap skdoo boop bappity skebap?
Girlfriend: cause she tried to steal you from me, we're together and I don't want that bitch to take you away.
Mario: well, I'm gonna go now, bye you two.
Boyfriend: Bop baaaap boop!
Girlfriend: bye!
(*the audio hangs up*)
Mario: well, that was surprising, hearing girlfriends voice dishing dirt about sky, anyways, speaking of sky, let's talk about her little sister, ski, ski has been doing alright and taken on the sport of skiing.
(*meanwhile with ski*)
(*ski was skiing in a race*)
Sky: yeah, go ski, you can win this sis!
(*a blue ball person bumps ski spinning her*)
??????: out of the way you blue haired chibi freak, this race is mine!
Ski: oh no it ain't!
(*ski speeds up to them again*)
The skiing sport announcer: AND THE WINNER IS...
(*both cross the finish line with a camera taking a photo where ski was farther than the person*)
The skiing sport announcer: SKI!
Sky: yeah ski, you did it!
Ski: yay, I won the race!
(*back with Mario*)
Mario: the next one we need to talk about is the mercenaries and robot themselves, scout, sniper, and Robo engineer, scout has taken a job as a baseball player with sniper taking a job as a assassin and robo engineer just being his normal self.
(*meanwhile with scout and sniper*)
???????: come on maggot scout, hit the ball for your mercenary team!
Scout: I'm gonna send this ball out of the park with the force of nature!
(*the pitcher throws the ball and scout swings at it sending it far*)
???: run son run!
(*scout starts running across the bases*)
The baseball sport announcer: AND SCOUT SCORES A POINT FOR HIS TEAM!
?????: very good scout, you made team proud!
Scout: thanks heavy.
(*after all of where the contestants are now*)
Mario: well, that's it for where they are now, however, it's not over yet.
(*a limousine reaches the red carpet*)
(*the contestants of Funkin battle step out with their fans cheering*)
Scout: hello everyone!
Sky: man, it's good to be back with this group.
Dorkly Sonic: yep, now it's time for us to get in.
(*they walk to the entrance where a bodyguard was at*)
Bodyguard: name?
Scout: I'm scout, and the rest and me are from the show Funkin battle.
(*the bodyguard grabs the list*)
Bodyguard: you guys are not on the list.
Bob: wait what?
Sniper: this has to be some sort of mistake, Java told us that we were on the list.
(*java appears*)
Java: yeah, I did, how come they ARENT on the list.
(*another limousine drives by and out steps girlfriend, boyfriend, the blue ball person, a orange haired person wielding a UZI, a cup guy, a yellow hedgehog, a black haired fabulous person, and a tall skinny cat*)
(*they walk up to the bodyguard but the blue ball person bumps into Bob knocking him down*)
Bob: hey, watch where you're going jackass!
Bodyguard: name?
?????? ?????: Liquid Chris and this is my group.
(*the bodyguard checks the list*)
Bodyguard: let me guess, Liquid Chris, Alien Cat, Fleetway Super Sonic, Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Cuphead, and Pico are this group?
That group: yep!
Bodyguard: come on in then.
Sky: what, how is that fair, Java signed us up and we're not on the list but they are!
Girlfriend: we're just better than you sky.
Sky: how about you shut your fucking mouth you bitch!
Girlfriend: make me!
(*it looks like girlfriend and sky we're gonna fight*)
Boyfriend: Be bip bapboop skdoo bap beepo skdabeep bap skdoo boop bappity skebap, bep beep beepo brep skebap be beeeep bappity, baaaap be bopo skebap be bappity' beepaa bappity boop boop skebap beepaa be skdabeep skdoo bapboop beepbop beepaa beeeep skdoo beepaa beepbop skbep bip baaaap.
Ski: yeah, you guys don't need to fight.
Girlfriend and Sky: oh we definitely need to!
Skeebo: how about you ladies stop fighting and get inside of the building already!
Girlfriend: fine, this isn't over yet sky.
(*that group enters the building and the bodyguard blocks the door from the Funkin battle group*)
Scout: well, how are we supposed to get inside of the building?
Java: well, we can't, unless we can actually prove that we were on the list, we can't get in.
(*Scout gets an idea*)
(*Scout walks up to the bodyguard*)
Bodyguard: listen buddy, you and your group aren't on the list, so scram!
Scout: do you know who we are?!
Bodyguard: no?
Scout: we're the contestants from Funkin battle, and here's proof!
(*scout shows his phone that has the Funkin battle wiki on it*)
Bodyguard: oh my god, my mistake then, go on it.
(*the bodyguard moves out of the way*)
Scout: see that guys?
Dorkly Sonic: wow, that was pretty smart.
(*Sky sees a expensive bus moving*)
Sky: guys, get that bus!
(*everyone runs at the bus and everyone grabs onto it and the bus drives off*)
Scout: well, we're on the back of the bus now.
Ski: wait, wheres java!
Sky: oh no, he was forgotten, we can't go back for him.
Sniper: Sky is right, we're already far away from him.
Dorkly Sonic: well, we need to get inside somehow.
(*scout gets another idea*)
Scout: I know!
(*Scout grabs his metal bat and hits the back window breaking it*)
Sky: nice job scout.
(*the Funkin battle cast climb inside*)
Liquid Chris: what the fuck, how did you guys get in here!
Scout: that isn't important.
Sky: we're stopping this bus immediately!
(*Sky runs to the drivers seat but Girlfriend blocks her*)
Girlfriend: if you want to stop this bus, you are gonna have to go through me first!
Sky: ok then, bring it!
(*Sky and Girlfriend start fighting*)
(*Pico sees a cliff coming closer*)
Pico: uh, guys.
(*Sky and girlfriend continue to fight*)
Pico: guys.
(*they still continued to fight*)
Pico: GUYS!
Girlfriend and Sky: what!
Pico: look!
(*girlfriend and sky look at the window and see the cliff*)
(*everyone screams as the bus falls down the cliff*)
(*a few hours later*)
(*everyone wakes up with Sky and girlfriend laying down on boyfriends lap*)
(*Girlfriend pushes sky off boyfriends lap*)
Girlfriend: get off of my boyfriends lap you whore!
Sky: oh, you wanna go again!?
Girlfriend: I wouldn't mind to!
Carol: ok, that's enough you two, you don't need to continue fighting, listen, we all need to find a way to get saved from the bottom of this cliff.
Liquid Chris: well, I'll go search for a rescue team.
Skid and Pump: we will also join.
Huggy Wuggy and Mommy Long Legs: same here!
Robo Engineer: I'll also go, I don't want to die here.
Dorkly Sonic: you know what, as long as it gives me a break from orange fuck over here, I'll take it.
Yuri: I-I'll go, I don't want to die in this cliff!
GB: I'll go.
Liquid Chris: ok, we will be back guys!
(*Liquid Chris, Skid, GB, Pump, Yuri, Huggy Wuggy, Mommy Long Legs, Robo Engineer, Springtrap, and Dorkly Sonic walk away*)
(*30 minutes later*)
(*a helicopter is heard*)
GB: hey, do you guys hear that?
(*everyone looks up and sees a helicopter*)
Boyfriend: Beep beepbop boop beepo skdoo bep be de beepaa boop bap, beeeep boop' bap boop skbep beep bepo boop skebap!
Sky: quick, everyone in the bus!
(*everyone left gets in the bus and the bus gets grabbed by the helicopters magnet attachment*)
(*when the helicopter got to the film lot*)
(*everyone exits the bus*)
Girlfriend: thank god we were saved!
MC: yeah, thank god.
(*the pilots get out and it was java and whitty*)
Carol: Whitty!
(*carol hugs whitty*)
Whitty: hey carol.
Java: ok guys, meet me in the crafts and services tent for a important announcement.
(*after everyone got sat down in the crafts and services tent*)
Java: well, since most of everyone is here, I came to tell you all that you twenty four will be participating in Season three of Funkin battle!
(*everyone cheers*)
(*meanwhile at the studio*)
(*the rescue group reaches the station*)
Dorkly Sonic: hey, you, we're stuck in a cliff side, we need help out!
Mario: sorry guys, but you're too late, you failed to join season three and they were already saved.
Dorkly Sonic: thank fucking god tails is in it, now I can finally have a break from his jackass.
(*back at the film lot*)
Java: so, I hope you all enjoy this.
Girlfriend: oh trust me, we will.
Java: love your attitude girlfriend, we will see you all in season three of Funkin battle viewers, hope you enjoy and catch this soon to watch season three of.....FUNKIN.....BATTLE!!!