When it came to Mildred, things were much plainer. At the very least, she was fortunate to be a mere observer when it came to Rosemary's issues, even if she was able to imagine how tragic it must have been for the family. However, to her, life had become nothing more than a string of days that were all pitiful excuses for idyll, saddling her with the ennui that always tended to come in the existence of a meek housewife as far as she was concerned. She rarely went out, she cleaned the house until every last speck of dust was gone, she made the meals with the utmost love and care she could muster, and she took care of her children, the latter of which was her favourite duty by far. Even though Stephen had been forgetting to pay them any attention on quite a lot of occasions as of late, she would never do that, for they were so precious and lovely to her. Speaking of Stephen, the thought of him sometimes haunted her mind, for there was a lot that she wished to say to him, but never could.
She was afraid to step out of her lane, but she was also afraid that her husband could be lost to debauchery forevermore, and one can only imagine what it is like to be a woman torn by those two fears. She barely spoke to him when he came home from the tavern, which he often did at two in the morning and sometimes even at the crack of dawn, and she was fortunate that he never inquired her much about her visible concern either. She was pretty certain that it was solely due to the strong influence alcohol had on him, but at least she never had to tell him anything, which she counted would last until she was prepared to do so. She presumed that there were many things that he, too, was afraid to tell her, but he was a man, and it was what mattered the most in this situation.
That did not matter during the first morning of February 1891, though. A new month had begun with golden rays of the sun that shone brightly even amidst the ongoing winter. The coldness of nature feared its warmth, even if slightly so, allowing the burdened flowers that grew amongst the tall grass, as well as the burdened black branches of dead trees, to be relieved for a short amount of time. The winter breeze did not chill her much, even though her skin was sensitive to low temperatures. The pale blue sky welcomed the pale sun with open arms, uniting with it into a true picture of gentleness and serenity. The larks sang outside with utter merriment in their voices. She and her children had woken up early, truly mirthful to be alive on such a pleasant day. To them, the following hours seemed like an eternity that they could spend doing anything that suited their moods, having no obligation in sight. Taking the jump rope, they swiftly ran outside, meeting each other under a birch tree that was full of dead leaves.
Mildred held the jump rope as her children enthusiastically counted to a hundred in perfect harmony, jumping with great mastery and grace. She had always been proud of their flexibility. For what seemed to be somewhere around half an hour, they jumped without a single thought that held no joy in it, but then, Andrew remembered something, and he felt the great need to announce it. He said the following words:
"Mother, where has Father gone? Neither I nor my sister has seen him last night, so we thought that you might know something of it."
Mildred's right hand shook with great terror, tangling the legs of her children together and causing them to fall to the ground, fortunately hurting them only momentarily. Her heart beating like a drum, she instantly rushed to nurse her children and give them both a thousand kisses on the forehead, sobbing with great might.
"I give you the most profound of apologies. I am such a terrible mother, really, I am! How could have I made a mistake of this gravity?! My mind is but a mess, and I am reeling from it at every waking moment. I was afraid, but I could not... I could not answer your question... I am sorry."
"I do not understand the issue," Emma said in her sweet little voice, the sound of which made her mother cry tears of happiness, which once again became those of bitterness as horrible memories returned to her like the waves of a vast and terrifying sea. The roll of the dice. The stench of alcohol. The denial of any problems whatsoever. The promises her husband wanted to keep, but never could, for his vices were stronger than his desire to do good. The kisses of another woman on his cheeks, his neck, his- No, no, that last one was not true! It never could be, right?!
She released a sharp breath as she turned her back to her children. "My dears, you are free to go to the local park and play for the next hour or two, where many people must surely be. I have to go and perform a task I have forgotten about, which is quite important and which I must perform right now, so do not ask anything and simply do whatever you want. I must go, but stay safe for my sake. Do you promise?"
"Promise," they said in unison, not thinking anything at all as they ran in the direction of the park, which they had become very familiar with. She was now free to go to the river that was fifteen minutes from her house and cleanse her head for a little. Then, she would certainly be prepared for whatever life had to throw at her that day. She had to be.
For the first five minutes, she knelt at the end of the bridge that led directly towards the river, crushing her palms and weeping to her heart's content. On her right hand, as always, was a rosary that clearly displayed her love for Jesus and all that he stood for, serving as a reminder that she had come there to say her prayer for him, but for a while, she could not bring herself to speak due to the sheer sorrow that she felt. Soon, she became sick of it, and, taking a deep breath, she said this:
"My Lord and protector, I make my prayer to You today. I am not the kind of person who is obsessed with the concept of prayers, never having wanted much for myself, but unfortunately, there comes a time in every person's life that they are consumed with want out of urgency. I have always tried my best to be a loving wife and mother, surviving the harshest times of my life because I knew that You watch over us all at all times and that You have the ability to determine who is good and who is evil and treat them accordingly.
However, I must also admit that I was a believer in the idea that wealth improves everything, for nothing can be hidden from You. From a certain perspective, it can sound a bit corrupt, and from a certain perspective, money is indeed corrupt. I regret to have rejoiced when I heard that gambling had made my husband rich, for I now know that gambling is one of the worst vices imaginable, being easily connected with all sorts of other vices that suck at a man's soul until he is unrecognisable to everyone, even those who love him the most. He has been dragged knee-deep into debauchery, condemning us all irrevocably, but as long as there is still even a little bit of time left, I believe in You to return every member of this family to kindness, gratitude and joy, even myself, for I have not been the best person I could have been lately.
After all, You must know that we have served You well, and surely You would never leave people like us to be miserable forevermore. I think that contentment is not much to ask for, but our fate is in Your hands. I know that You will make the choice that is the most right, even if it does not seem like it at the moment. Remember that we will always love and worship You."
After that, she began crying again, not being quite sure that there is a God, or if God even is as great as people say, having known people who have suffered great injustice and died from it, shaming herself for these unholy thoughts a moment later. It made her cry even harder, although she knew that crying was weak, for she knew that she could not help it. She was tired of being a martyr. Fortunately, her misery did not last much longer. She saw that Harold had arrived, and, immensely glad to see a confidante walking in the same area that she did, she jumped from the ground and rushed to embrace him immediately.
"Harold, I am so glad to see you," she said, proud of herself for not crying anymore.
"Is everything fine, Mildred?" he said with an awkward inflection in his voice while gazing at her bloodshot eyes.
She laughed uncomfortably. "It is fine, my friend, everything is fine. Why would it not be?"
He sighed. "Mildred, I must confess that you are a dreadful liar. You look appalling, and I have heard your tearful prayer to God a minute ago, which I would have expected from anyone who is facing the problems that you are facing. Do not ever feel that you are alone in fighting your burdens, for there are many people who love and support you, and with that in mind, be sure that everything will be over soon enough. In fact, I will tell your husband everything the next time I see him, and I am sure he will understand. I am heading to the tavern, so I am certain that you will not have to wait very long."
"Thank you," she said, turning away from him. "I must go and pick up my children from the park now, for I cannot let anything happen to them. Good luck with your mission. I am sure that everything will be great. Farewell until the next time."
"Farewell," he whispered serenely, heading to his intended destination.
Harold saw Stephen the moment he stepped into the tavern. Luckily, Stephen was alone, very sober, and also very happy to see him, so he sat beside him without hesitation.
"What is it, my friend?" Stephen chirped, looking away from his empty glass of wine. "I presume that you have some good news to tell me, right?"
Harold shook his head. "The news is not that good, but they are important, so I must tell you everything. I just saw your wife crying and praying to God near a river, being quite concerned for your well-being and wishing that everything would return to what it once was, which I am sure you must also want on some level. Would that not be great? To release yourself from your addiction and all your vices and live a life of comfortable wealth that will never be lost to the uncertain tides of gambling? So, what do you say?"
Stephen smiled brightly. "That sounds great, my friend. In fact, I have attempted this multiple times, although it always lasted a couple of days at best. I shall try harder this time around and see how it goes, I guess."
And try he did. On that fateful day, he told his wife everything, which she was immensely mirthful about. His children hugged him excitedly, blessed with the belief that he would never do unpleasant things again. He did not even hesitate to go to Caroline and say that she was ruining him and that their love had to end if he wanted to be a fortunate man. She was heartbroken, but she understood. At least she had the beautiful memory of their two-month love and the joy of knowing that this was for the best. However, falling asleep, Stephen began to feel that his story was still not over yet.