By the time Rosalie finally ascended the steps of the Institute, she was exhausted. The sky overhead had begun to lighten as the sun rose higher and higher behind the gathered clouds. The sight was not nearly as beautiful as she would have liked; the clouds above were of the darkest gray, no doubt signifying a day of rain. Deep in her bones, Rosalie could feel the urge to sleep pulling at her; almost begging her to finally rest. But how could she sleep with a mind teeming with thoughts? Everything that had transpired tonight roiled endlessly in her head. The drug den, the sight of Will passed out in that dingy bunk, not to mention kissing Will. But for some odd reason he refused to elaborate on, he needed that kiss. And she could never refuse him, she merely wasn't capable of it. Even if her brain screamed at her that it was wrong... that he would never love her... Rosalie couldn't find it in herself to refuse him. Was it the fact that she cared for him? Perhaps it was. But perhaps not in the way she had initially believed. In the beginning, it was a mere infatuation with her idealized hero. It wasn't all that long ago that he had saved not only Tessa's life, but Rosalie's as well. But she had mostly moved past that infatuation. Now she cared in the sense that Will Herondale was her friend. Was Will a good friend? Not always. But that didn't matter because Rosalie could see the man beneath the mask he put on. And that man was good. And because of that, she could live with his sudden cruelty. Or maybe she cared not just because he was a friend; maybe she cared because she loved him... in love with a man she could never have.
As the doors to the Institute opened, welcoming everyone home, Jem stormed past; his eyebrows angled downward and his lips drawn into a frown. Tessa shot her sister an apologetic look as she hurried after him. "You have quite a bit of apologizing to do from the look of things." Rosalie said, not unkindly, as she spared Will a glance over her shoulder.
"Thank you for pointing out the obvious, Rose." he grumbled, coming to a stop at her side.
The pair lingered in front of the large doors, staring after Jem and Tessa. "Have the drugs worn off?" she asked, keeping her tone indifferent.
Will considered for a moment, curling and uncurling his fingers before nodding. "I feel a bit hazy, but other than that... the yin fen has taken its course."
Rosalie couldn't help the way her heart contracted at the word. Yin fen. The very thing that was slowly killing her dear friend. She knew why Will had taken it, but it still didn't lessen the pain. "Did you even think about how this would impact him before you did it?"
The muscles in his jaw feathered as he shook his head. "I didn't think about anyone in that moment." he admitted. "I didn't want to think at all."
The sun was rising higher into the sky as Rosalie turned herself to face him, drawing her arms tightly around her thin frame. "I don't believe that." her gray-blue eyes steeling over. "Jem is your parabatai, you think of him always-"
"What would you like me to say, Rose?" Will threw up his hands. "Would it make you feel better if I told you that I did think about Jem before I did that? Would that make it any easier knowing I did it anyway?" the oceans within his eyes raged as he rounded on her.
"Of course not!" she said, frowning. "But at least it is the truth. You gain nothing by lying to him. You have already hurt him deeply, do you truly believe lying will make matters any better?"
"I would never lie to him, I just fail to see how you need the truth." he gave a dismissive shrug which made Rosalie's blood boil.
"I beg your pardon?!" she exclaimed, the disbelief clear in her voice. "I deserve the truth because I had to help drag you out of that infernal drug den! I deserve the truth because tonight allowed you to once again manipulate my feelings for your own selfish-"
"I never asked for you to come!" he bellowed, the sound echoing in the entryway of the Institute. "I would have come back when I was ready!"
"Or you could have died!" Rosalie said, her voice rising to match his own. "Do you know what that would have done to Jem? To Charlotte and Henry? Or are you so blinded by your own selfishness that you simply don't care?" she said nothing of what that possibility would have done to her. If Will had died in that awful place, it would have broken her. It may have even killed her.
Something flickered within that raging ocean, some emotion that Rosalie could never seem to place. She doubted there was anyone else on the planet as hard to read as Will. "I knew what I was doing." was all he said.
Rosalie's entire body tensed, a wave of fury washing over her. But she eased her face into a neutral expression and willed her body to relax. A screaming match would accomplish nothing. And if she had learned anything here, it was that yelling at Will did little to show him his wrongdoings. There was nothing within this world that could make him see the hurt he has caused. Not just to her, but to everyone. "I hope that's true." was all she said before walking through the doors. Will did not call her name or try to chase after her as she walked upstairs. And she was glad of it.
Just as she had predicted, it was raining when Rosalie awoke. It pattered noisily against her window, earning a loud groan as she buried her face into the pillows. Sleep still beckoned to her, but there was no time left for sleeping. Rosalie had skipped breakfast to give herself another half an hour of what her body so desperately craved. Although skipping a meal would certainly come back to bite her. Training with Gabriel on an empty stomach was not an ideal situation; combine that with her lack of sleep... today would be a recipe for disaster.
As she readied herself for an undoubtedly rough day of training, Rosalie couldn't help but examine the dark rings lining her eyes. There would be no hiding her poor nights sleep. It was written all over her face. Before changing into her training gear, she quickly tied her hair back in a neat bun.
Everyone was already hard at work by the time Rosalie entered the training room. It appeared to be another day of throwing knives. But the target was smaller today. Rosalie paused for a moment to watch Tessa aim her blade for the small black circle that had been painted on the wall. Her sister drew her arm back after sighting where she wished the blade to go. When she released it, the blade twirled beautifully through the air but missed the mark by a considerable distance. Gabriel passed another blade over and gave corrections before stepping back. He looked more annoyed than usual, Rosalie noted. A swift glance around the room explained everything. Will was seated on a wooden bench on the far side of the room; his legs splayed out before him, an apple in his hand. He shot her a half-smirk, which she elected to ignore and strode toward Gabriel and Tessa. "What is he doing here?" she asked quietly.
"I have asked the same question a million times already." Gabriel muttered, sending a brutal glare in Will's direction. A question burned in the back of Rosalie's mind, one she had never been able to get an answer to- and not for a lack of asking. What happened between Gabriel and Will? Why did they hate each other so deeply? Gabriel turned to Tessa, handing her another knife. "Can't you just ask him to leave?"
Blade seemingly forgotten, Tessa turned toward him. "Why would I ask my friend to leave?" she questioned with raised brows. "He has every right to be here."
Rosalie considered objecting to that, but decided against it. There were a million other places he could have gone, but Will chose to come to the training room. He knew the Lightwood's would be here today. "It's best to just ignore him." she said. "Sooner or later, he will grow tired of it and leave."
"Or," Gabriel countered with another hateful look in Will's direction. "He will antagonize a reaction out of us. That's what he does best."
Tessa blew out a frustrated breath and seized the knife from Gabriel's hand. She sighted along the blade for a moment before drawing her arm back and throwing it. It landed directly beside the previous blade- still off its mark.
Gabriel shook his head and moved to stand behind Tessa. "You're still weighting the point to much." he explained. Very lightly, he took ahold of her arm and guided her through the correct motions. "I still think your sister should ask him to leave." Gabriel sighed as he took a step back.
Mid-throw, Tessa whirled on him. "Why would I do that for you?" she asked with raised brows. "I do not even like you." with that, she returned to what she had previously been doing.
Gabriel spluttered, clearly surprised. "What do you mean you don't like me?" he asked, absentmindedly handing Tessa another knife.
"Well," she began as she took it from his extended hand. "It seems as if you do not like me- or anyone other than my sister for that matter." she explained while sighting along the line of the blade. It embedded itself nicely within the black circle.
Gabriel paused, his hand halfway around another knife. "It's just him that I don't like." he didn't have to look in Will's direction for anyone to know who he was referring to.
Will, who had overheard the conversation being had, decided now was the perfect time to join in. "Is it because I'm better-looking than you?"
Gideon at last looked over, his face trained into neutrality. "That's enough out of both of you." he said coolly. "You can save your petty squabbling for another time."
"Petty?" Gabriel asked, dumbfounded. "He broke my arm!"
The faintest of smiles ghosted along Will's lips. "Are you still holding onto that?"
Rosalie could have sworn Gabriel's eye twitched as Will took a bite from his apple, the sound echoing throughout the room. He reached for another knife but found none left. Annoyance, as well as something unreadable flickered across his features. "When we run the Institute, this room will be far better stocked." he said, ensuring Will would overhear.
"And you wonder why I dislike you." Tessa seethed, anger contorting her features.
Gabriel didn't turn as he said, "I don't see what concern it is to you, little warlock. The Institute isn't your home." everything in the training room had stopped; Gideon and Sophie were watching the events unfolding before them, both wide-eyed. "Besides, you would be much better off if we ran the Institute. Your talents could be put to work and you would be rich. You could live wherever you liked. Charlotte would undoubtedly be moved to the York Institute-"
Will sat up to say something, but Rosalie beat him to it. "How dare you!" she growled. Gabriel, to his credit, had the good sense to take a step back. "How dare you speak to my sister like that! And how dare you insinuate that this Institute is being run improperly! Charlotte has done an amazing job with this place, she welcomed us in with open arms when she could have easily tossed us out on the street!" she took a step forward, closing the distance he had created and pushed angrily at his chest. "Don't you ever, ever talk down to Tessa like that, Gabriel Lightwood. And don't you dare walk in here as if you own the place!" She shoved him harder, but Gabriel remained steady. He didn't try to stop her as she continued pounding against him. The thing that hurt the most wasn't the fact that he had been so rude. It was the fact he had said this place wasn't their home. That's what the Institute had started to feel like. Home.
"You know," Will hummed, unable to conceal the smug look on his face, "I had something to say, but that little display has left me speechless."
Gabriel ignored him, his gaze focused solely on the dark-haired girl glaring up at him. She had stopped hitting him, but the anger in her eyes felt like a blow to the gut. "I'm sorry." he said simply. "But Charlotte deserves to have the Institute taken from her. Aloysius Starkweather has no family to run the York Institute when he is gone-"
In the blink of an eye, Will had tossed his apple into the air and aimed a dagger closely behind it. The two objects sailed through the air, narrowly missing Gabriel's head as they embedded into the wall. Will's eyes had darkened, the oceans once again storming, but he made no effort to move. "Say that again," he paused, surely for dramatic effect. "And I will darken your daylights for you."
Rosalie didn't dare ask what precisely that meant. Especially not when Gabriel started toward Will. Luckily Gideon stepped in. But she had heard enough. Turning on her heels, she stormed out of the room. Rosalie took extra care in allowing the door to slam shut behind her.
In her heated mood, Rosalie didn't care that it was raining. She only cared about fresh air. She gulped it down, almost hungrily, as the rain soaked through her clothes. Her now unbound hair clung to her skin. Surely Gabriel didn't mean the awful things he had said. If he truly believed that Benedict Lightwood was the right choice to run the Institute... well, then that made him a fool. Charlotte was perfectly suited to be in charge, there was absolutely no one better for the job. That much Rosalie was certain of. The rest of the Shadowhunters would see it too. All they needed was a lead on Mortmain and then no one would dare contest Charlotte's position again. At least she hoped they wouldn't. But she knew enough about Gabriel's father to know that he wouldn't go down without a fight. His sights were set. For whatever reason, he wanted Charlotte gone. Perhaps it was nothing more than a move for power. Benedict Lightwood was a snake from what she could gather. If he saw the slightest hint of weakness within the Institute, he would find a way to slither his way in: consequences be damned.
"Rosalie!" she turned and instantly scowled as Gabriel came running down the steps of the Institute.
"What could you possibly want?" she asked, frowning. "Have you come to spew more of your father's hateful jargon?"
"What? No!" a glimmer of hurt shone in his green eyes. "I'm sorry, Rosalie." he said, sounding more sincere than the first time. "I never meant to hurt you- by the Angel, that's the last thing I wanted to do!"
"You may not see this place as being home for Tessa and I, but it is." Rosalie forced herself to meet his gaze. He needed to see the pain on her face. Gabriel needed to see that his words had genuinely hurt her. "You know what life has been like for us here. It has been nothing but hell. My sister is being hunted like an animal! And no one else seems to care but the people living here!"
"Rosalie-"
"No." she cut him off. "You have said plenty, now it's my turn. If your father had control of this Institute when we were found... he would have tossed us onto the streets. And then where would we be? Mortmain would have captured my sister by now... and for all I know, I probably would be dead! So how can you possibly think Charlotte deserves to lose all this?"
"The Fairchild's aren't as wholesome as you think." Gabriel said, running a broad hand through his wet hair.
"Your father is no saint either, Gabriel." he winced at her tone, but she ignored it. "Can you honestly tell me that your father would have let us stay if he had been here instead of Charlotte?"
Gabriel sighed and shook his head. "He wouldn't have let you through the front doors."
"That is just one of many reasons why Charlotte deserves this job. She is so dedicated to everything that she does here. I'm sorry, but your father is blinded by his desires. He cares very little for people like Tessa and I. He cares very little for mundanes and warlocks who need help."
"But you're not a mundane. We both know that."
"That is entirely beside the point, Gabriel! There was no way of knowing that when Charlotte allowed us to stay. All we knew at that point was that Tessa's life was in danger."
Gabriel blew out a long, thoughtful breath. It was clear that he could see her point, he just didn't know what to do about it. Conflicting emotions swirled in his eyes and across his face. But at least he finally seemed to understand. "I know everything you've said makes sense, but I cannot ignore the history between my family and hers." he shook his head. "I can't just turn a blind eye to my father's wishes-"
"And why not, hm?" Rosalie folded her arms tightly across her chest. "You are an adult, are you not? You are entitled to make your own decisions. Who says you must blindly follow your father's wishes?"
Gabriel opened his mouth and abruptly closed it again. He didn't know what to say. Once again, she was right. They both knew it.
"I thought so." she murmured before walking inside, every inch of her body soaked to the bone.
Peeling her sopping wet training gear from her body had been an immense struggle. It was almost as if the clothes had been molded to her like a second skin. But that wasn't even the worst part about it. The coldness seeping into her was unbearable. A steaming hot bath was certainly in order. Rosalie could think of no better way to combat the icy feeling spreading through her veins. Once the bathing room had been filled with steam and the water filling the tub was piping hot, she finally allowed herself to climb in. The scalding water burned but it was a welcomed feeling. Slowly, she could feel herself warming up. As Rosalie lounged in the tub, she couldn't help but dwell on memories of living at her aunt's house. More specifically, she thought about how nice it was to no longer be there. Sharing only one bathroom between four people hadn't been ideal. More often than not, the hot water ran out which meant there was constant bickering over who bathed first. That never happened here. Everyone had their own private bathing room and the hot water seemed to never run out. How that was possible, Rosalie hadn't the slightest idea; but she certainly enjoyed it.
It was only when her skin had turned clammy and the water had gone cold that Rosalie left the tub and dressed herself. The dress she had chosen for herself was simple yet elegant. It was a lovely shade of lilac and had dozens of small flowers embroidered into the skirt. As the door to the bathing room opened, the few remaining tendrils of steam rushed into the bedroom and quickly dissipated. The bedroom felt dreadfully cold after spending so much time in the warm bathing room. So cold, in fact, that shivers ran along Rosalie's spine and her skin prickled. Seeking a warmer place, she made her way toward the library. Her fingertips dragged against the wall as she walked, like a child with the insatiable need to touch everything they passed.
The inside of the library was nicely heated, thanks to the fire that never seemed to go out. It wasn't magic that kept the fire burning, but Sophie. That girl worked so dutifully to keep the Institute running in perfect order and it showed. Nothing was ever amiss here. Everything was constantly in perfect order. It was nice to never have to worry about such things. Although it was sad to think about. All Sophie really had in this world was her work. Although perhaps that was changing. Whether the young girl would admit it or not, it was clear there was something special between her and Gideon Lightwood. Surely even a blind man would be able to sense it.
With every step toward the endless rows of books, the skirts of Rosalie's dress rustled beneath her. If she was going to spend her time in the library, the least she could do to pass the time was read a book. Perhaps she would read Pride and Prejudice. She had always meant to, there was just never enough time. But now... now there was nothing but time. At least for today. Today there was time to sit back and do nothing but read.
Just as Rosalie had found what she was searching for, the doors to the library creaked open and Tessa slipped inside. The door snicked shut behind her and the two sisters locked eyes. Tessa offered up a smile as she came to join Rosalie among the collection of books. "I was wondering where you had disappeared to." she said softly, her eyes roaming around for a book. "I checked your room."
"Is everything alright?" Rosalie questioned, her eyebrows furrowing with concern.
Tessa nodded. "I just wanted to check on you," she admitted. "Things with Gabriel got rather... heated today."
A scoff was Rosalie's response as she spun easily on the balls of her feet and took a seat in a nearby armchair. "That, my dear Tessa, is the understatement of the century." she flipped the book open before continuing. "But I should be the one checking on you. Everything he said was toward you. He treated you terribly today- and that vile nickname he came up with-"
"I have much thicker skin than you give me credit for, Rose." Tessa murmured as she came to take a seat beside her older sister. She placed the book she had selected neatly in her lap but did not open it. Rosalie couldn't even pretend that she was reading the book she had opened. She just stared down at the title page. "Everything Gabriel said was to get a rise out of us, especially Will. He knew all the right things to say to get under our skin."
"Indeed he did." Rosalie snorted in disdain. It was aggravating to think just how easily he had managed to get under her skin. She should have known better than to lose her temper so easily. But to blatantly insult Tessa was something she could not let stand. Not to mention how hurt she had felt in that moment. "And I made it all too easy for him."
Tessa, nose tucked away in her book, shook her head slowly. "Will was no better." she said evenly. "Calming him down after you stormed off was no easy feat."
"Mm, I can only imagine." a faint smile traced Rosalie's lips. "He is more hotheaded than myself, and you know how difficult it can be to calm me down."
"I would much rather deal with you." Tessa laughed softly. "Although that could be due to my many years of experience."
Rosalie's nose crinkled and she stuck her tongue out at her sister. "Oh bite me, Tessie."
Another laugh sounded from Tessa, this one much louder than its predecessor. It was nice to have some alone time, Rosalie realized. They rarely had any time to themselves nowadays. There was always something getting in the way. Whether it be training or chasing down potential leads on where Mortmain was hiding. But that could all change in the blink of an eye. Something deep in Rosalie's bones told her that they were close to finding something. Or perhaps that was wishful thinking. Was it wrong to hold out hope when all hope seemed lost? Finding Mortmain was like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Except instead of a haystack it was just a pile of more needles. Slamming the book shut, Rosalie forced the thought from her mind. For now, she just wanted to be with her sister. There were so many things they needed to catch up on. The thing that she was most curious about was Jem. Much like Sophie and Gideon, it was clear there was something between her sister and Jem Carstairs. It was just a matter of what.