"Chicken fillet, no rice for me please."
Mom will surely prepares me food once I get home so I need to eat less now. While Justin ordered beef steak because he said he got hungry of their short practice.
Napili naming kumain dito sa bagong bukas na asian fusion restaurant malapit sa campus. As far as I can remember halos wala pa itong one year since it operates so we think maybe we should try and see if it's worth coming back for.
The ambiance is so nice because inside this all glass restaurant, they used plants to decorate the place. You can also see the sky at the ceiling because even the roof is made out of glass. This type of place can be a place to held an event such as nuptials.
"Did you sleep well last night?"
He asked as he place the table napkin on his lap.
"Yeah, I fell asleep the moment I lay down. It's just that, this morning. My head hurts so bad. I also made us lemon honey for hangover because I assume you felt the same. Pero nabigay ko na sa girls kanina."
It's true. Hindi ko na naantay si Justin to give the lemon honey. Pinaghatian na namin ng girls because we needed it the most. Mukhang okay naman si Justin so I felt relieved.
"It's okay. I don't think I need it anyway." He looked at me. "You drank a lot last night. You shouldn't drink like that when I'm not around or without the girls. I don't want you to be in trouble. Just drink what you can take."
Tumango ako sa sinabi niya. He's right, I should be more careful.
"Yeah, I will. Masyado lang akong nag-enjoy last night. Ngayon lang kasi ako pinayagan ni mom to hang out with you guys lalo na't may alcohol presence. You know their very strict sometimes."
"I can't blame them. We're still young at 18. Either that, we should be responsible young adult. No excuses."
This might look like he's giving me sermon but since I like him, I think this more like of a concern. Pinipigilan ko ang aking ngiti sa bawat salitang binibigkas niya. Sa bawat pag-aalala niya sa akin, mas nabubuhay lamang ang pag-asa ko para sa aming dalawa.
Hindi naman siguro siya ganito magiging sobrang concern kung kaibigan niya lang ako diba? Pilit kong kinukumbinsi ang sarili ko.
We ate our dinner when the food is served. Mabilis lang kaming natapos and Justin paid for the bill. He always insisted to pay as usual and never let me have the bill jacket at first hand.
Tinanong niya ako kung saan ko pa gustong pumunta pero wala akong masabi kaya siya nalang ang nagpasya. He take me to a coffee shop nearby to relax a bit before we go home. Dito rin kami madalas pumunta kapag nag-aaral kami for exam since ito malapit sa kung saan kami nakatira.
We ordered iced coffee and sit outside as we watch the sun sets.
Our relationship might look boring but trust me it is not. Justin and I just like to sit together have some coffee and be quiet. We just love the presence of each other even if we don't talk that much. Kami ang nagsisilbing pahinga ng isa't isa sa maingay at magulong araw sa campus o sa bahay.
He will rather be with me on this situation than listening to his dad's rants about him. Justin might look like he's a perfect guy but he is not. Ayaw niya sa bahay madalas dahil mom niya lang ang nagbibigay sa kanya ng katahimikan doon.
He's dad loves to rant him about the things he should do in this early age and keep on comparing him to his older brother. He's doing his best and I can see that but his dad keeps on demanding for more.
Kahit siguro ako ang nasa sitwasyon niya maririndi rin ako. So, everytime Justin wants to meet, I am willing to left everything for him.
Tahimik lamang siyang nahigop sa kanyang inumin ng napagdesisyunan kong basagin ang katahimikan.
"Justin, about the engagement..." I started. He looked at me and waiting for me to speak. It's like this is also the thing he wants to talk about but too afraid to start with.
"My parents are asking if we already talk about it. I lied and told them that we haven't. But I'm afraid that they will keep on asking me since two weeks nalang debut ko na. What do you think?"
I honestly need his opinion about this. Kahit pa sinabi ko na sa kanya na ako na ang bahala kung paano ito hindi matutuloy, kailangan ko pa rin ng suporta niya. We should work this thing together.
Bumaling siya sa ibang bagay at tila nag-isip.
Ilang minuto din iyon at hinintay ko lamang siya. This thing is a very serious topic to decide with because it is what our future holds, not our parent's.
"I don't like engagement because it's with you. You're perfect, Ven." He begin. Unang mga salita pa lamang pero parang unti unti nang kumikirot ang puso ko.
"But we're too young for this. They should at least wait for us to be ready. We haven't in a relationship with yet." I can feel his frustration. "I already knew that this is my dad's idea."
I disagree with him.
Ngunit hindi ko iyon masabi. Alam kong hindi lang naman dad niya ang nagpipilit nito kung hindi ang dad ko rin. Of all people, si dad ang unang nakaalam na may gusto ako kay Justin ever since. And I gave him that idea before, noong mga panahon na immature pa ako at sarili ko lang ang iniisip ko.
I gave dad the idea of marrying Justin and he include their business on that. He sees it as a win-win situation. If Justin and I got engage and soon be married, dad will satisfy because I get what I want and he get what he wants for their business expansion using Conjuanco's Group.
Kung mayroon mang tunay na nagagamit dito, si Justin iyon. At ngayong nangyayari na ang lahat ayon sa mga ginusto ko noon, nahihirapan tuloy si Justin ngayon. I should be the one who deserve to be blame. But Justin is too nice to do that. He can't blame me for anything I've done.
"I honestly don't know what to do. But who cares anyways, we only have two weeks remaining. All we can do now is to agree whatever they have decided."
He said as if it was so easy for him. Kahit ang totoo ay ayaw niya talaga itong matuloy. And I understand him. He's also 18 and barely an adult. He doesn't explore his life yet and now his parents are forcing him to do something he wasn't ready.
Pero sa totoo lang, I can feel one something that holds him up to agree with the engagement. Kasi kung ako naman ang tatanungin. Hindi lang ako sang-ayon dahil hindi pa siya ready. And even if I am not also ready, if it will be Justin...for sure magiging ready ako.
Maybe, just maybe...
He can't settle to this kind of set-up because he likes someone else.
Something suddenly hurts inside me.
Tumingin ako kay Justin na tulala sa kung saan.
I can't imagine if this thought of mine is true. What if he really likes someone else kaya hindi siya makapagsettle sa aming dalawa. Justin, at the end of the day, is a guy. This is beyond of all the phase he can develop feelings with opposite sex.
Hindi ko nga lang alam kung sino ang babaeng iyon kung sakali. Dahil iyon lang din naman ang posibleng rason kaya ayaw niya. Dahil kung gusto niya ako, papayag siya. It's that simple.
"Justin..."
He glanced at me. The sunset's orange light reflected to his face. Lumitaw lalo ang tunay na kulay ng kanyang mga mata. Those eyes that looks like they always speaks. Kahit sa titig lang sana mabasa ko ang sagot na hinahanap ko.
"D-Do you..." Split second I began to feel the regret of asking. But it is too late now to hold back anymore. I need to know. "Do you like someone else?..."
Kung anong tahimik ng paligid ay ganoon naman kaingay ang tibok ng puso ko habang hinihintay ang magiging reaksyon niya.
Blanko lamang siyang tumitig sa akin. Kahit sa mga mata niya, wala akong mabasa. He will keep that straight face maybe until he found the right words to say.
Is he mad? Am I now an entitled girl-friend who pass beyond my boundaries? Did I offend him?
"Ven..—"
He was about to say something when his phone rings. Tumingin muna siya sa akin bago sagutin iyon. Tumango naman ako sa kanya bilang pahintulot na pwede niya iyong sagutin.
Tumayo siya at naglakad palayo. Tumi-tingin tingin pa siya sa akin ng sagutin niya iyon.
I wonder who's the caller.
Inubos ko na lamang ang inumin ko at itinapon muna sa trash bin atsaka bumalik sa aking kinauupuan. May ilang minuto na si Justin sa kausap niya at hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin siya tapos.
Sa inip ko, I began to notice my surroundings. And at the parking lot. I saw a familiar vehicle.
I've been with my friends so many times to the point we already know who's car are owned by any of us. At isa pa, boys lang naman madalas ang may dalang sasakyan kaya hindi mahirap saulihin ang mga iyon.
I am very sure this is Gio's.
I stand and prepare myself to greet him. But as soon as the passenger seat's opens. A girl came out. I am expecting it's Gia since I know those two has a lot to talk about. But it wasn't.
Gio is really with somebody else.
Inalalayan ni Gio ang babae sa pagbaba at binitbit ang bag nito. The girl isn't familiar but I can also see that her uniform is from our school, just a different course. Hotel and management if I'm right.
Sabay silang naglakad papunta dito sa coffee shop at inalis ni Gio ang suot niyang shades ng makita niya ako. Kita ko ang pagkabigla sa reaksyon niya. He knows I'll have a lot of questions for him.
"V-Ven...you're here..." bati niya na tila balewala lang ang lahat.
"Hi..." I'm thinking what to say since the girl he's with is kinda shy if I must say. She doesn't do eye contact with me.
Pinagmasdan ko siya.
She's as tall as me. Brown haired and has a fair complexion. Hindi nga lang kasing puti ko pero masasabi kong maputi rin siya.
She's pretty.
I can't say that much but she look likes someone Gio would date.
Bigla ko tuloy naalala siya Gia. This must be the girl she's talking about. Kahit na wala pa naman akong patunay.
"Oh, let me introduce you to my..." tumingin si Gio sa akin. "date."
Date?
I can't believe this guy. Mukhang reasonable naman pala ang pag-iyak ni Gia. He kissed her last night then hanging out with somebody else the next day. Hindi ko alam kung ipapakita ko ba ang galit ko rito kay Gio o hindi dahil nakakabastos naman iyon sa kasama niya.
Gusto ko siyang tanungin kung nasisiraan na ba talaga siya ng bait.
Sinasadya niya ba ito dahil lang Gia ignore his feelings?
"Ven, this is..." Gio said but was interrupted by somebody.
"Selena..."
Napalingon ako ng marinig ko ang boses ni Justin.
Nagkatinginan silang tatlo. Selena and Gio is looking at Justin. While Justin is looking at both of them. Palipat lipat ang tingin ni Justin sa kanilang dalawa.
Para nilang hinuhusgahan ang isa't isa sa malalim nilang mga titig. Pinagmasdan ko lang silang tatlo but at last, my eyes stayed at Selena.
There's something I already starting to not like about her. It is a strange feeling I felt when meeting new people. Pero pagdating dito kay Selena may kakaiba.
I felt something different I don't even know how to put into words.
Lumipat ang tingin ko kay Justin.
Suddenly, I felt a bolt of pain in my heart when I saw him intensely stare at her. He looks at her as if he knew her for so long.
My question for Justin a while ago came back to mind.
'Did he like someone else? That's why he can't settle?'
Patuloy lang akong tumingin sa kanilang dalawa.
Who knew this would be the beginning of everything?