It wasn't hard getting used to that place. She lived there once and it was enough to call it home back then. But it was different now when she felt like a stranger, although Sunghoon's room was quite her safe place.
No one bothered her, besides him of course. He checked up on her every minute and made sure she didn't kill herself yet. He couldn't read her like an open book, and he certainly didn't know what to expect.
Sunghoon knew very well how much Y/N was in pain, he also knew that she would have preferred to keep it hidden as she always does. That's why it was surprising to see her cry and cling to him the way she did. It must have been too much to take.
What bothered him and made his heart ache was the fact that after hugging him and crying her heart out, she went back to being her usual self. As if nothing was wrong. She didn't cry again nor showed any sign of weakness.
She just sat there on his bed or stood next to the window, staring at the sky. One would say she was kidnapped, but she was well aware that she stepped into Sunghoon's place because it was the only place she could stay and give herself some time to think.
Two days had passed and her wound was healing faster than they thought. She was strong, after all.
"Y/N?" The voice from outside the room interrupted her thoughts as she turned around and made her way to the door, resting her hand on the doorknob as she thought if talking to the person outside was a good idea. Sunghoon was the only one she tolerated there and the one standing outside was definitely not him.
The door opened though, and her sight was met by the black-haired guy that she managed to threaten twice. He didn't seem scared of her, but his eyes gave away a feeling of mistrust.
She stood there, staring at him with emotionless eyes as he cleared his throat. "Someone is here for you."
His words made her frown. No one knew where she was and Sunghoon wouldn't let anyone she knows step inside his place to meet her- Unless he did.
Her breath stuck and her eyes glistened as she stared at Sunoo standing in front of her. "Who...?"
"Haru." It only took him one word to make her run past him and towards the main room, right where Haru was waiting for her. A lump formed in her throat as she tried to stop herself from crying, but the moment his eyes met hers, everything slowed down around her and the only thing she could hear was her sobbing.
"Y/N..."
He slowly approached her before wrapping his arms around her, holding her so close he felt her whole body shake. He knew how much pain she was in because Mr. Kang wasn't someone that would walk out of her life without her breaking down.
He was all she had for all these years, and now she was alone. Everyone in her life either abandoned her or hurt her, and the wounds left were so damn painful.
She wanted to undo everything and erase all her past but now that everything fell down like a house of cards, would she even be able to change it?
"It's okay-" Haru tried comforting her but she tightened her grip around him and cried harder, oblivious to Sunghoon who stood at the door and watched her in someone else's arms. It broke him, how she could break down in Haru's arms without hesitating one second.
Yet, with him, it took her a while. A long time indeed.
"Nothing is okay!" She sobbed, her head aching. "He's gone! Do you understand? He's just... he's not h-here anymore!"
"I almost lost you."
Everyone watched the two of them without uttering a single word. The intimacy, the pain, and the tension that were present in that room were suffocating. None of them could complain or dare to interrupt either Y/N who was in Haru's arms or Sunghoon who just stared at them with a heavy heart.
His hands formed into tight fists as he blinked away the frustration and the sadness he felt. It wasn't time to be full of emotions.
If it meant Y/N would be okay, he'd throw himself from a cliff or into a pit of fire. It didn't matter as long as he'd see her smile, even for one second.
"What happens now?" She pulled away and let Haru wipe her tears as she looked at him with desperate eyes. "They didn't kill me... but now I'll have to live with the guilt of not being able to save him for the rest of my l-life. I don't want to live like this... I don't want to-"
Y/N froze when her eyes darted to Haru's bandages. She seemed to forget that he was hurt for a while, and when it hit her, a wave of guilt rushed in again. He saved her and yet...
Her hand hesitantly reached for his bandages, tracing them with the tip of her fingers as she let out a shaky breath. "I'm here, Y/N... I'll always be here for you."
"I'm sorry." She sobbed out, carefully resting her head on his chest. His warmth comforted her and his scent filled her nose as she closed her eyes and breathed slowly, trying to calm herself down.
Anger makes you stupid, and stupid gets you killed. That's what Y/N had always believed since she stepped into the world of dark lies, betrayals, and blood. But ever since Haru and Sunghoon walked into her life again, she had lost herself.
The thought of him made her open her eyes and look around only to find him staring at her with soft, bitter eyes.
She knew he wasn't okay although he smiled a little to show her he was fine... as long as she was okay.
Her heart suddenly felt so heavy as she pulled away from Haru and looked back at all of them. They had sympathy written all over their faces even though they were looking down. Somehow, even though it was frustrating that she didn't believe Sunghoon and hurt enough, they couldn't face her.
"Mr. Kang's corpse is... safe," Haru said and her breath stuck. It wasn't supposed for his corpse only to be safe, he was supposed to be safe. If she was a few minutes early, she could have kept him safe.
"I should hold his funeral." She breathed but Haru shook his head and sighed a little, making her frown as her swollen eyes filled with confusion. "I will. You can't tell me otherwise, Haru, please don't."
"Y/N, you know if you're out there, they'll find you-" He started but Sunghoon's voice interrupted him as he stepped closer to Y/N.
"We'll hold the damn funeral, and no one will touch a single hair of hers. I won't let anything-" He stopped abruptly, looking at Y/N as the room fell silent. "We won't let anything happen to her."
Her eyes glistened but she slowly and hesitantly nodded, blinking away the tears. "Tomorrow it is." And with that, she left the main room and walked back to his room. She had to take a few minutes to think about everything over and over.
Her heart ached and guilt ate her alive. It was too much that it made her head spin. Why was the world so cruel to her? To them?
She just wanted to destroy them all. Ujin, Mark, and Kwan had to taste the feeling of betrayal and heartbreak they made her feel.
But it also reminded her that she did the same to Sunghoon and that he never once hesitated on saving her.
The place fell into silence after Haur's departure and Y/N stayed in the room as she watched the stars from the window.
She hated them. They reminded her of her life; a sea of darkness with flickers of happiness. If there was any at all. So, instead of staring at them, she lay down on the bed and put her hand under the pillow, taking out a bracelet that held all the answers to her questions that she refused to hear for all this time.
And only one person could answer them.
Stepping out of the room, she silently walked through the place, trying to find him. And before she knew it, there he was, standing on the balcony with a cigarette between his lips.
"I didn't know you smoke." She muttered, and at her words, Sunghoon turned around. His eyes were emotionless and cold, yet they held so much pain and sadness.
"I need to kill myself a little, you know?"
She leaned against the wall and looked down. "Then... I might need to smoke too." She could see him glance at her from the corner of her eyes as he put away the cigarette and frowned.
"What do you want to kill?"
"The part of me that didn't believe you." It wasn't long before he understood what she meant when she held up the bracelet to show him. "I found it in Ujin's drawer."
It seemed that Sunghoon's world slowed down around him right then as his breath hitched. His hands slowly reached for the bracelet and before Y/N knew it, he pulled out the same one from his pocket.
It turned out he was keeping it safe all this time. And there she was thinking that he abandoned it long ago.
"That was..." He muttered, his fingers running through his hair. "I never- I didn't kill him."
"I know." It took two words to stop Sunghoon from fighting himself and for Y/N to let out a sigh of relief. But in their eyes, it was different. They were broken. "I'm sorry."
"Strawberry." Sunghoon calling her by the nickname he gave her some time ago was delicate and soft, and so full of emotions that unbroke the broken. His hand cupped her cheek and she let out a sob before she broke down crying in his arms, clinging to him as if he was going to disappear from her world.
"I'm sorry... I'm s-so-" His lips crashed into hers and her words remained unspoken as she put her hand against his chest and kissed him back, the taste of salty tears mixed with the taste of his lips that she's been craving for all this time.
That night, Sunghoon knew that he never hated Y/N, rather, he hated how much he loved her. And Y/N realized that no matter what her mind said about him, all the love in her heart belonged to no other than the man she waited for to get her out of the dark place that consumed all of her.
That night, the two of them stepped out of their comfort zone. He forgave her and she slept in his arms.