I awoke the next morning to footsteps running to my room. "Angie! Angie!" I groaned and sat up slowly. Morning light shone through my bedroom window. I was home.
I blinked, "Wow, I must of had too much cold turkey last night. What a dream."
Charlie came running into my room. "Angie, get up, come on!" He pattered over and grabbed my arm, "Come look at all the neat toys!"
I flopped back down and pretended to be asleep, fake snoring loudly. "Angie!! Get up, get up!" He tugged on my arm harder, trying to pull me out of bed.
"Okay, okay, I'm up!" I chuckled and finally got up from my bed. Once up, Charlie took off running, me in tow. Something caught my eye though, so I stopped abruptly.
"Uh, hold on Charlie. Go get Dad, I'll be down in a moment." I smiled nicely at him. "I just have to go to the bathroom, really, just give me a second." I lied. Charlie frowned but ran off. I could hear him shouting at my dad to get up as well.
Once he left my room, I walked slowly up to my dresser. My snow globe was there, and next to it was the vase of flowers I had seen the night before. Hands shaking, I hesitated for a moment before reaching up to read the card.
"Good Luck" It had read like before. "No, no, no, no." I shook my head. "No way. Not happening." I sat back down on my bed, placing my head in my hands. "It was a dream. It was a dream." I kept whispering to myself, but the flowers were right there. Besides, I didn't know anybody else whose name started with a B.
I ran downstairs to see Charlie started on his presents, and Dad flopped on the couch, looking distressed. One look at eachother and we knew. His eyes widened briefly before he slowly started to shake his head.
"Are you okay, Dad?" Charlie asked him, wandering over with another present in hand.
I sat down on the couch next to Dad.
"Are you guys having heart attacks? I know CPR." Charlie crouched down to look closer at us, mainly at Dad.
"No- I just," Dad chuckled "S.C?"
"Yeah, "Santa Claus." I looked at Dad, addressing him as so.
He glared at me.
"Hey! Same initials as your name, Dad." Charlie leaned over and pointed to Dad's pocket where the letters were embroidered. "Scott Calvin."
Dad looked between the two of us, "What?" He squinted his eyes.
Suddenly the doorbell rang. Charlie ran off to answer the door, and Dad turned to me.
"We aren't going to tell anyone about this. It was a dream, nothing more, nothing less." He whispered quickly to me. "Right? Right."
I nodded quickly.
"Oh, Charlie! Merry Christmas, honey!" Laura's voice could be heard from the front door. "Did you have a good time?"
"Yeah! The best time!" Charlie ran off into the dining room.
She stepped inside and caught a glance at my frazzled face, but I immediately put on a smile. "Did you guys stay up late playing games?" She chuckled.
"Something like that..." I coughed, then immediately put on a sweet face again.
Dad went over to greet her.
"Nice P.J's, Scott, very festive." she said with an amused grin. "Where did you get them?"
"I... I don't know." Dad responded, shrugging with his arms. He didn't have time or the energy to think of an actual answer or excuse.
"Judy gave them to you!" Charlie was running around the living room gathering all his toys together.
"Judy. Really." Laura smiled and nodded, assuming that Judy was a new girlfriend or something.
"Who?" Dad looked at Charlie with a strange face.
"Up at the North Pole!"
"Ah, one of Santa's little helpers." Laura raised her eyebrows.
"Last night, Dad, Angie and I went with the flying reindeer all the way to the North Pole, Mom. It was really neat! Dad was Santa and Larry showed me the workshop, you know, where they make all the toys?!"
"Gee, thanks for keeping his feet on the ground." Laura gave a tight-lipped smile.
"You bet," Dad nodded with the same expression.
"Wow Charlie, you must of had a really fun dream last night," I tried to cut in, looking between Laura and Dad. "Right Charlie, just a fun dream! Dad was reading him Christmas stories before bed."
Dad gave a slight look of relief before Charlie cut back in.
"No, no that was before! It wasn't a dream!" Charlie protested. "Remember, you got to go and deliver presents, then we flew all the way in the sky to the North Pole. Bernard took you downstairs because he needed to talk to you?" He was trying to give a quick recap of the night, and I felt awful trying to make everyone think he was being too excitable.
"Honey, you go wait in the car for a minute, I'll be right there." Laura patted Charlie's shoulder and opened the door for him.
Charlie gave me a hug, and Dad kissed the top of his head.
"Bye, Dad. Bye, Angie! Thanks for a great night at the North Pole." He beamed at us as he skipped out the front door.
Dad and Laura awkwardly chuckled standing there. I quickly made my way to the kitchen, so as to not obviously be eavesdropping and staring, but still, give me an opportunity to hear.
"So... what have you been telling him?" Laura said.
I poured myself a coffee, purposefully mixing in the creamer with the spoon loudly hitting the sides of the cups so they wouldn't think I was listening.
"Nothing... I just... I had this really strange dream and I must have told him all about it."
I rolled my eyes. He should have continued with Charlie being the one who had the dream, it would have been easier to explain, but it was too late now.
"Wait-" I heard Dad run out the front door. Laura followed him to the car, and I stood in the archway.
"Some waitress gave you pajamas??"
Gosh, he was just digging himself into a deeper hole.
"What's this all about?" Neal raised an eyebrow, this being the first he's heard of all of this.
"Dad took Angie and me to the North Pole, and Larry showed me the workshop." Charlie explained to him.
"The North Pole?" Neal gave the same annoyed thin-lipped smile.
"Yeah! Dad's the new Santa. The regular Santa fell off the roof and Dad put on the suit."
Dad was leaning on the open door of the car facing Laura and Neal and gave them a little wave with a forced smile.
"Charlie, we'll discuss this at home." Neal ignored looking at my dad and ushered Laura into the car.
"It was a dream! Stuff like that doesn't happen! It was a dream! Come on!" Dad yelled at their car as it drove off. "I don't even wear pajamas! Normally I sleep naked! Butt naked! Ha!" Dad turned, "Morning Mrs. McGloin. Mary Catherine."
Mrs. McGloin hurried her daughter along. "Eyes front, Mary Catherine!"
"Really, Dad?" I crossed my arms when he came back inside. "All the frantic yelling doesn't make you look any better."
"Whatever-" He shoed me away.
January 1995
A couple of weeks passed, and things began to feel a little normal again. Dad would leave almost all day for work, I would go to my part-time job, attend my choir practice after, then come home a couple of hours before he did to go sit in my room working on college applications. Mid January I would turn 20, not that we ever really celebrated. Most likely, Dad would burn my birthday spaghetti and we would end up at Dennys again.
Neither Dad nor I would approach the topic of Santa at home, other than the days when Charlie would come over and start talking about the whole ordeal all over again. Or the time Dad came home humiliated, because Charlie told his whole class that he was Santa Claus, much to Dad, Laura, and Neal's dismay.
Any time the topic was brought up, we would quickly change it to something else. It made me feel bad every time Charlie would act all confused about us not remembering anything, but I didn't want to get involved in Dad's relationship. Dad and I tried so many times to talk to Charlie about the Santa Claus thing. The countless walks and talks, but Charlie was headstrong. It was a month past Christmas now, and he was still going on about the North Pole. Laura and Neal only got more worried.
In addition, I noticed some strange things were starting to happen. I swear all my clothes were getting too big, but I didn't feel like I had lost any weight. I had to buy all new shoes, because overnight, all my shoes grew two sizes too big, and I looked like Bigfoot trying to wear them. Another thing I noticed is that random things kept happening to me. I would pour myself a cup of water, take a sip, then suddenly I'd have a cup of hot chocolate in my hands. I bought a burger from Mcdonald's for it to magically turn into a piece of Christmas fruitcake, topped with a bow. Unfortunately for me, I hated fruit cake.
I was standing in my room, looking in my mirror. I had spent all morning trying to find something that fit me, but everything just looked awful now. I had to tighten one of Charlie's belts around my waist to keep my pants from falling down, and all the shoulders of my shirts started to fall all the way over the side, causing them to bunch up all strangely.
"I see your transformation has begun." I heard a voice say from behind me.
With a startling turn, I swiftly pivoted and there he was, leaning against the wall behind me. I just stared, wide-eyed at the short curly haired elf in my room.
"Great, now I'm hallucinating." I said as a greeting to the figure behind me.
"I thought it was about time I'd evaluate you, to see if we can begin training." Bernard had his arms crossed tightly. Even with his straight face, I could tell the current state of myself slightly amused him. "You'll have elf tailored clothing once you arrive at the pole, but for now, you might find some better selections in the children's section."
"You know, it's considered rude to sneak in my room- How did you get in here??" I looked around, but I never heard my door open, and the window has been broken since I was a kid.
Bernard rolled his eyes. "Magic. Is that so surprising?" He asked. "Don't tell me you haven't had any more magic slip ups."
I looked at him with an annoyed expression. I crossed my arms to copy him. "Yeah, if you mean burgers turning into fruitcake and what not, plenty."
"That's all?" He seemed surprised.
"What, did you set fire to your house when you learned how to be an elf?" I raised an eyebrow. He was being so judgy again for no reason.
"...yes..." Bernard muttered, clearing his throat. His eyebrows suddenly knit together. "How did you know that? About me?" He clarified, but not one second later he slapped his hand to his forehead. "Curtis."
"It's not a bad thing for me to know though, isn't it?" I questioned. "Isn't it a big deal around there? So everyone would know?"
"It happened so long ago, that many have grown accustomed to it." He shrugged. "More know me as the current Arch Elf rather than the chosen elf from the fifth century."
"And somehow youre not considered old?" My jaw dropped. Hearing 1,000 years doesn't sound insanely old at first, but a century that long ago was like... prehistoric.
"There's plenty of elves from then." Bernard shrugged. "Plenty of elves from before then... What you have to understand," He strolled over and took a seat on my bed. "Elves and the North Pole, almost exist in a sense in a different form of time."
"Different time..."
"The elves have culture dating back years before man was the prominent race. There were also giants, and fairies, and all those other creatures...Gnomes" He said all of this as if it was something I should have always known, hissing gnomes with a particularly grotesque frown.
"Uh-huh," I said, not really sure if I believed what he said, or if he was messing with me.
"Well haven't you noticed that ancient civilizations have far more mythological stories and folklore than today?" Bernard raised a dark eyebrow. "It makes sense when you think about it. Today's humans only really have the legendary figures that they teach children about."
I thought for a moment, placing a baggy sleeve up to my face because my hands barely wanted to poke through the sleeves. It did kind of make sense... I never thought of it that way.
"What did you mean by my transformation?" I asked after a moment of silence. Bernard stood up, walked over, and manually turned me around to face the mirror again.
"You are shrinking, you'll soon be average elf height." He started off. Bernard was still much shorter than me, but I noticed that he now came to about my nose when standing this close. "You'll also start producing more magic, you'll have more unexpected things happen, especially when you are angry or excited, so it's "very important" that you control your emotions." He really put stress on the very important part.
"You don't think I can control my emotions?" I crossed my arms again and turned to face him, but he immediately grabbed my shoulders and made me look back again. "You know it'd be easier to control my emotions if you weren't so crabby." I glared at him from the mirror.
"I'm not crabby, I'm strict. There's a difference. Also yes, I do not think you control your emotions well," He took a few steps back and walked all around me, looking up and down. "Seeing how you were in a frantic state at the pole, I'd advocate for the complete opposite."
"I was in a frantic state because-!" Bernard cut me off, continuing his analysis.
"Your ears haven't started to change yet it seems, and you're not particularly rosey and alive looking yet either."
"Gee, thanks."
"That's about it." He shrugged. "It'd be best to start training once your magic gets stronger. If anything happens, shake the snow globe, and I'll stop by."
Without another word, a sparkly pop was heard, and he disappeared. I slowly moved closer to the mirror to look at my ears. They looked normal, thankfully. And what did he mean by rosey? I'm rosey!
"Maybe I should get some new clothes..." I looked at myself pathetically in the mirror.
I walked down the hall to Charlie's room and started rummaging through some drawers. I found a red turtle neck that looked about my size. His jeans looked far too small still, so I avoided those. I also stole a pair of shoes to borrow in the meantime. I looked better with at least some of my clothes fitting, but my pants still looked pretty weird, so I pulled a large sweatshirt over my head to cover the weird bulgy waist.
"Hey Angie..." Dad was sitting at the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee in his hands. "What's with the get up?" He motioned his hands up and down.
"I could say the same to you." I crossed my arms. "I like the beard, that's new."
He raised his eyebrows, "What are you-" He stood up to glance in the hallway mirror. "That is so odd, I shaved this morning..."
"Maybe it's magic." I laughed sarcastically.
"Hm." He rolled his eyes and walked to the bathroom to go shave again. I had another performance coming up the next evening, and all my concert dresses were far too large, I would have to look for something... might as well go clothes shopping. As I poured myself a cup of coffee I heard a small pop again.
"Why are you back!?" I whisper yelled to the beret-wearing mad man behind me. "Dad literally has an existential crisis every time Christmas is even mentioned, you should go-"
"Curtis told me that I should come back to help you with your clothing- " He said with great annoyance.
"You told Curtis about my clothes?" I leaned against the counter sipping my coffee. It was slightly amusing to see how much he hated being in my presence.
"Don't take it as a compliment." He frowned. "I just thought you might want assistance."
"Well, I-" To be honest I did not want to hang around this crabby elf. "Dad and I need to pick up Charlie soon... I can't do it today."
"I can have Curtis cover for me tomorrow. It would be good for me to explain more about the Clause and what to expect." He nodded as if I accepted this, and was a done deal. We heard Dad returning down the hall and he suddenly disappeared, again with sparkles everywhere.
"Ugh!" I threw my head back. I did not want to go shopping with Bernard. I could just imagine how awkward that would be. I didn't just need pants and shirts but... undergarments... I guess I'd get those another day, as I really didn't want him to come along and chose a bra with candy cane stripes on it. I could imagine him with an angry annoyed face holding it out all strictly as he does. It made me a little amused now, to imagine Bernard standing holding out dresses and shirts.
"Who were you talking to?" Dad questioned me as he came back with a clean-shaven face.
"Nobody!" I quickly responded knowing very well he was very much a somebody.
"It sounded like a boy. Do you have a new "friend" I need to hear about?" Dad smirked.
"Ew no!" I practically gagged at the thought of being anything more than bitter work partners with Bernard. "It was- just the mail man at the door. Something about a car blocking the mail box again, yadda yadda, It's fine, I worked it out." I finished with a halfhearted smile.
"Okaaay..." Dad raised his eyebrows and sat back down. "Laura just called me, she wants us to come over to get Charlie soon, so make sure you are ready."
"I'm as ready as I can be." I shrugged.
Dad and I soon hopped in the car and drove over to Laura and Neal's house to hang out with Charlie for the day. When we stepped inside, it was obvious that Neal had also just attempted to talk to Charlie and change his mind about the whole Santa thing again. There was some sort of tension in the air between the adults, but Charlie was sitting there, happy as could be.
"Why don't we go on a walk, Charlie?" Dad gave me a look, trying to get us out of the room so the "adults" could talk.
I took Charlie into the front hall and helped him get his coat and jacket on. "What did Bernard talk to you about when he brought you downstairs?"
"Oh- uh," I tried to think of something to say. "Charlie, I don't think I know a Bernard."
"Why do you and Dad keep doing this!?" Charlie was getting a little upset.
"Charlie, you don't understand, it's not just-" I sighed, "It's not my place to say anything. I don't want to mess with anything-"
"Well you guys are, remember Bernard said that if you reject Christmas then everyone in the world would be sad!"
I sighed and rubbed my temples, "It'll be okay, just..." I looked around, hoping Dad would come into the room soon. I overhead Neal talking about childhood development of the brain and all sorts of psychology stuff, so I knew it would be a bit. "Charlie, you just need to stop telling people about it... It's like a secret." I could tell by every time we would see Neal and Laura that they weren't just worried for Charlie's well-being, but the mental state of my Dad. I didn't want to see Charlie get taken away. "You only talk about it with Dad and I, okay?"
"You're wearing my shirt." He finally said. "Are you wearing a pair of Dad's pants?"
"No..." I tried to think of an excuse. "It seems i've started shrinking a bit." Dad walked back into the hall, so I didn't have to continue explaining.
"You kids ready to go?" He asked.
I zipped up my oversized jean jacket, "Yeah," And we started strolling down the street. Dad seemed tense, and I could assume why. I had overheard a few conversations between him, Neal, and Laura, and they only seemed more set on not allowing him to see Charlie as much.
"Do you think by next year I'll be big enough to drive the sleigh all by myself?" Charlie asked immediately. I suppose I did just say that we could talk about this Christmas stuff together.
"No!" Dad shook his head firmly.
"But I've been practicing!"
"No- that's not what I mean! Charlie, hold on a second. We've got to talk about this Santa Claus thing."
We stopped walking, and Charlie turned around to face us.
"Charlie, there is no..."
Oh no, I hope he wasn't about to say what I thought he was.
"No what, Dad?" Charlie looked innocently up between the two of us. Dad looked into Charlie's round dark eyes and paused.
"There's no reason...why we have to tell anybody about the North Pole." Dad finished his sentence.
My eyes widened in surprise, that was the first time he had admitted to it happening.
"Why not?" Charlie seemed surprised at this too, but more disappointed.
"Well," Dad looked between the two of us. "Sometimes things, big things, should remain unsaid. Like, between a few people..."
"You want me to keep it a secret?" Charlie tilted his head. He frowned. "Angie wants me to keep it a secret too."
"Yes, a secret! Let's keep it a secret between the three of us," Dad smiled and nodded happily.
"But how come?" Charlie asked sadly.
"Because of Mom and Neal." Dad crouched down to his level.
"Not just because of them," I added, thinking about the Parent's Day fiasco. "There's school."
"Yes," Dad nodded at me. "Everybody thinks... No, it's not important what they think." Dad searched around for words, "How does five bucks sound to you?" He finally said with a straight face.
Charlie didn't respond.
"This is something I really want you to do for me, sport." Dad held onto Charlie's shoulder and looked into his eyes. "I want to keep this secret, will you do that, please?" Dad also glanced at me, as if also wanting me to agree to keep it.
"Okay, Dad." Charlie said with a little smile.
"Alright, great." Dad answered with a sense of big relief and patted Charlie on the shoulder. "We don't have to worry about the Santa Claus thing anymore."
I decided then was not the time to tell him about tomorrow's inevitable shopping trip with Bernard.
"So when do I get the five bucks?"
When the three of us got home, I finally took the time to sit down and explain to both Dad and Charlie what Bernard had said to me. I felt as if it was finally okay, as Dad was not in as much outright denial as he had been before, and considering I was already "transforming"...
The two of them sat on the couch in front of me, patiently waiting for me to say what I was going to say. Every time I opened my mouth to say something though, my words would freeze. How was I supposed to explain to them that I was changing into a not real fake Christmas elf... but very real and not fake?
"You see, uh- apparently my body is changing-" I coughed out.
"Um, Angie..." Dad's eyebrows knit together in a confused manner, "You're nearly 20 years old, I'd say most of those changes already happened."
"No- that's not what I mean!"
"What changes?" Charlie asked.
"Not now bud, you'll learn one day," Dad said with a small pat on his shoulder.
"No- No listen!" I was turning red now, "It's about Bernard- what he said-"
"Why was Bernard talking about your-" Dad paused, looking at Charlie.
"Oh my goodness can you please just stop and let me talk? It's nothing like that!" Suddenly telling the truth was seeming a lot less crazy and embarrassing than anything that was happening now. "I'm going to turn into an elf!" I finally spat out. "A real life elf! I'm going to get short, and my ears are going to get pointy, and apparently I'm going to smell different? I don't know, that's just something Curtis said!" I stated all very matter-of-factly.
"What the-" Dad sounded like he was going to say a curse word but thankfully Charlie cut him off, so I just gave him a glare instead.
"Woah!" Charlie seemed very excited at the idea of me turning into an elf.
"No you guys don't get it-" I continued, "It's not fair at all! I had no choice in this!"
"Welcome to the club kid." Dad just shook his head with his eyebrows raised. "I've gained 40 pounds since Christmas." He did look a little heavier but had been hiding it behind baggy clothes.
"But... what if I outlive you guys? Dad, you won't be Santa forever right? Like, if there have been so many Santas then what, did they all die??" I was more scared about that than anything... Being stuck in a strange place by myself for the next thousands of years of my life.
"But Angie, you get magic!" Charlie was more focused on the bright and fluffy part of this whole ordeal.
"At least I have magic!" I yelled to the sky sarcastically, as if the snow globe gods themselves were listening. As I did this, I flung my hands out, and the living room was immediately covered in hundreds of strings of garland; including blinking Christmas lights and pieces of popcorn strung throughout. Not orderly at all, just, the whole room completely covered in piles of garlands. The piles must have been about five feet high. I closed my eyes tight and sighed. "See what I mean?"
"Woah-" I heard Dad's voice from one of the piles of greenery. "How did you-"
"Magic," I said with finger parenthesis. "All my magic has been stupid Christmas themed shenanigans."
They had to crawl out of the many grand fir garlands, which, although they smelled nice, were a minor inconvenience in the middle of January. I tried to clear them, holding out my hands and chanting, "Go away! Disapear! Be gone!" But nothing worked. The three of us gathered as many as we could into large trash bags, but with the number of pine needles left over, even the strongest vacuum couldn't compete. Needless to say, Mrs. McGloin and Mary Catherine looked at us a bit strangely on their afternoon walk when they saw us hauling bag after bag of garlands out the front door to the much larger pile of garland-filled trash bags along the side of the road.
At least Charlie was in a good mood, I suppose it would be exciting for a little kid for his Dad to be Santa Claus, and his sister to have magical Christmas powers. But there was a hint of solemnness to Dad and me. I'd have fun with this if It was something I had control over, and I assume Dad would too, but living my whole, extended life, in a world that's so far outside reality and everyone I've ever known was not exciting, it was scary and lonely. Especially when I had dreams of finishing college, having a life and family, and eventually growing old. By the time I grow old, I'll be living through a robot apocalypse.
When Laura picked Charlie up after dinner, we made sure to, quietly, remind him that he could talk about this type of stuff with us. That he could only talk to us about this type of thing. I gave him a journal and told him that whenever he wanted to talk to us about Christmas and Santa that he could write it down there, and so we could talk about it the next time we see eachother.
"Got it!" He whispered back. "No more Santa."
"Come on Charlie!" Laura called from the door.
As he walked out, he turned back at us and gave us a wink and a finger gun. "No more-" He mouthed again, then the door shut.