August
It's honestly hard not having someone to talk to. Someone to help take the burden of my problems off of my shoulder.
Maybe I should give Quinn a chance. So far she's shown nothing but kindness toward me. But again, being alone is my life's work. Loneliness always seems to find me.
I eat the rest of my Poptart while sitting on my kitchen counter, contemplating the life I was given. I have to be at work in 20 minutes so I hop off of the counter and walk towards the bathroom.
I look in the mirror and analyze my features. I'm not an ugly person yet the lack of food and sleep can really do wonders for your skin and shape.
I brush my teeth and hair and do my makeup. Nothing crazy just a little foundation to cover my dark circles, lip gloss, and mascara.
When I'm finished I strip my clothes pulling on my waitress outfit topped off with my usual trench coat. I grab my bag and house key and make my way to the club.
About 8 minutes later I walk to the employee door, Knocking a few times and being let in by Gibby as usual.
"Hey, cupcake. How are you today?" He asks me as I pull myself into the building. Me and Gibby have a routine you could say. Every time I come in he asks how I am and then tells me to make sure I watch out for creeps and to call him if needed.
"I'm fine, how are you?" I return the question and he just shrugs."Eh, as good as I can be." I nod and begin to walk away.
"Astoria make sure yo-"
"Stay away from creeps, I know. I will." I say before he could finish his sentence since I already know what he was going to say anyways.
After I put my coat and bag in my locker I walk to the bar where Quinn is talking to someone. Once she spots me she smiles widely and waves me over.
I sigh but still go. Once I'm in her reach she pulls me and gestures toward the man sitting at the bar in front of us."Tori this is my husband, Chris. Chris this is my friend Astoria." He sticks his hand out with a warm smile on his face.
"Hey, it's nice to meet you." I just awkwardly smile and shake his hand to not be rude. I'm sorry but I have social anxiety and this is much more social interaction than I'd like.
"Soo, how's the mystery guy you were talking to a few days ago?" Quinn giggles and I flush at the thought of him."He's just a random customer, I don't even k-know his name." I mumble, more so to convince myself that he's just a random person.
She doesn't seem to believe me by the look on her face."Mhm, we'll see if he's so random soon enough." She grins at me. What does she mean? Did he say something to her?
"Hey, babe I gotta go but I'll see you at home okay?" Chris tells Quinn and she leans in and they kiss. Way to make me feel like a third wheel. I look down at my feet and wait for them to finish.
"I'll have dinner ready. I love you." Chris stalks off and leaves a very lovesick Quinn staring after him practically with hearts in her eyes. Once he's out of sight she snaps back to reality and turns to me."Okay, so how are you?"
"Um, fine?" I say in a more question-like manner. She quirks her eyebrow at me and puts her hands on her hips."What's wrong?"
I don't really wanna tell her that I'll be homeless in less than a week."Oh, nothing. Just tired." She doesn't look convinced so I repeat."I'm fine, I swear."
She just stays in the same position for about a minute starting at my soul.
I sigh realizing she's not gonna give this up."I'm late 3 months-"
"Oh my god your pregnant?" She whisper-yells and my eyes widen."God no, in rent. I'm 3 months late with rent. And I only have until Friday to pay up. That's 3 days away. Where am I gonna get that kind of money from?" Her face falls as I explain my problem to her. It felt good to actually share my problem with someone.
"Oh, sweetie." She rubs my arm soothingly before her face lights up."Wait, how about you stay with me and Chris? We have an extra bedroom in our apartment." I immediately shake my head no. This is ridiculous. I can't sit here and use her for somewhere to live. Maybe I shouldn't have told her anything.
"No, no it's fine, I can stay at a hotel and apply for a few more jobs an-"
"No, I will not let you be homeless. I have room and you need help, so take it." She pleads and almost gets me to agree before someone comes up to us.
"Hey, can one of you make this list of drinks?" One of the waitresses asks and Quinn looks at me with a worried expression before taking the paper with the orders. I sigh but don't get too cocky since I know she'll ask me later.
Tonight it's a slow night so there are not many customers. I look around and lock eyes with someone. Someone I seem to keep locking eyes with. He flags me over with two fingers and I hesitantly make my way over.
"Hi, what can I-"
"I heard." I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion at first but then remember the conversation that me and Quinn just shared. I look down at my feet in hopes he won't ask me about it.
"Look at me." His voice slices through the air like a knife to a grape. I really can't look at him, or anyone for that matter. It's not only my business and my business only, but other people knowing? It's embarrassing. I can't even keep my own home.
I'm a failure...
I feel someone's finger lift my chin up and once again, I lock eyes with him."I said look at me, Bellissima." He says with a deep demanding voice and this time I obey.
"Why didn't you take her help?" He asks and I know why. It's obvious. If I take her help then there's a bigger chance of us becoming closer and she'd get tired of me eventually. They always do.
"That's my business. Can I get you a drink?" He squints his eyes and crosses his arms leaning back in his chair."Tell me. Why didn't you accept her help?" He repeats and I know that he won't give this up.
I sigh and begin to explain why."Because it's my problem and I'm better off on my own. I'll figure something out." I mumble as I play with my fingers mindlessly. His gaze softens when he looks at my hands on top of the counter."Well if you won't accept help from her will you accept it from me?" I look up at him with shock filling my face and mind.
I shake my head in hopes he would order and drop the conversation."Do you need a menu? We have a few spec-" He gets up and ducks under the counter entry and drags me into a closet behind the bar. He turns on the light and shuts the door."I'm getting tired of repeating myself, belissma. But since you don't know my rules I will say this one more time, will you accept my help if not hers?"
"Well, w-what does your help consist of?" I don't know why I'm considering this. I don't even know his name for fucks sake. He leans against the wall with a look that says he's thinking about it.
"I'd provide for you. You'd move in with me and I'd take care of you," What the hell is he talking about? I don't know him.
"Are you fucking insane? For all I know you could be a serial killer." I yell.
"Watch your tone, and you would have time to think about it. If I'm being honest I'd prefer you to think about it for a few days." He explains in his usual low and demanding tone.
I sigh, there has to be a catch."What's in this for you? What would you be getting?" I ask while holding contact with him. Where did all this confidence come from? I have no idea. His eyes roam my body from head to toe and back up. I suddenly feel insecure and cross my arms over my chest in an attempt to hide myself from his burning eyes.
His eyes meet mine with a fire behind them."Do you anything about BDSM?" His eyebrows scrunch and there's a look of hope written across his face."I've heard ab..about it but I don't k-know much." I say truthfully. He looks at me with the faintest smirk on his face. Hardly noticeable.
"Where are you going with this? I'm still on the clock." I say with an attitude laced through my voice and apparently, he doesn't like that since his face clouded over again.
"Your mouth is going to get you in trouble, Bellissima." Why does he keep calling me that? I don't even know what it means but it sounds Italian. I sigh and sit on a nearby shelf so I could listen to whatever plan he has in his mind. Even though I'm not accepting it. Hell, this might be crazier than any Bachelor reality tv show.
"I could take care of you and like I said you'd live with me, you can keep your job if you want. But in return... I want you to be my sub." He explains with a calm rough voice and I just look at him waiting for more explanation.
But once I don't get it I speak up. He chuckles."I take it you don't know what a sub is?" I shake my head slowly and bite my lip.
He groans and fixes his pants."Don't- never mind just.. sub is short for submissive. You'd be sexually submissive to your dom which in our case would be me. We'd have a contract and I'll have it put together before you make your choice so you can look it over. Included in the contract would be a checklist. You might want to look up some of the things or ask me since your not very familiar with this whole thing." Once he finishes I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding.
He wants to be sexual with me? But why?
I laugh and he squints his eyes."What's funny?"
"This is ridiculous. I don't even know your name. Neither do you know mine." He nods his head and sticks out his tongue to wet his bottom lip."I'm Lewis, Lewis Montgomery. Look me up when you get home." He gestures for me to tell him mine.
"Astoria Raven," I reply shyly. I've never hated my name, it's beautiful really. I just wish someone else could have the pleasure of living with it. I don't even want to be here."Now we know each other." He smirks.
"Hardly." I imply and he tilts his head with a clouded expression. He walks up to me and puts both hands on the sides of my thighs, caging me in.
"I'm not going to touch you until you sign that contract, but just know I have ways to 'get to know' each other better." He smirks and I all of a sudden feel something on my knee.
I look down and see that the pants to his expensive suit has a huge indent and when I look back up at him with my jaw slightly parted and my eyes widened he already had a smirk on his face with his eyes hooded and looking down at me.
Not sure what to do, I push him away from me and head for the door. He catches my wrist before I could leave."At least think about it." He puts his hand out and I'm guessing he wants my phone.
I shake my head."It's in my locker." He sighs but quickly pulls out a pen, he grips my waist and picks me up, setting me back on the shelf.
He lifts my skirt and writes his number on my inner thigh. Once he's finished he stands up straight with a smirk on his face."Try not to wet it, it'll smudge." He then leaves the room with me as confused as could be and I sigh running my hands through my curls.
What the hell just happened?
Am I considering doing this?
I'd essentially be his sex slave. Do I want to put myself in that position? At least he gave me time to think about it.
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Hi, my loves, just wondering how many of you have read Under My Skin. If you're new and would like to read it, it's on my page and is complete!!!
but anyways...
Word Of The Day:
Rine - To touch or to come into contact with
Love ya...