"everything will be fine, i promise"
Those were the words that daisy and her mum said to me as i left them, making my way into the cafe to meet up with rachel. I was nervous, scared and excited to see where this conversation would lead to. As i opened the door, i saw her sat down at a table with a coffee in her hands. i went over and joined her, and was met with her big smile.
"Hi lily, thanks for wanting to see me" i smiled at her, replying to her soft sounding voice.
"I mean you are my mum" i said causing us both to chuckle. Rachel went to get me a drink leaving me to prepare myself for the conversation to come.
"Ok I know I want to get to know you and vice versa, but before that, there is probably 10 thousands question you want to ask me. So ask away kiddo." I thought for a second before starting, what must of felt like an interview for Rachel.
"Well first of all why did you give me up?" She did the same as me and took a deep breath before giving me her answer.
"So when I found out I was pregnant, I was 17. It was the most exciting yet daunting news i had ever received. My football career had just taken off with me signing for Leeds United, yet i knew I wanted to bring you into this world but couldn't manage bringing up a child at that age. I regretted it so much but I promise you that I think of you everyday. That is why after I gave you up, I got your birthday tattooed on my arm." She said, showing me her tattoo again which I traced along the lines with my finger.
"That's understandable, did my dad not want to keep me?" She looked at me with a solemn face which made me more intrigued.
"You see, I met your dad when I was 16 and we were dating for a solid year before I fell pregnant. I am not going to lie, my relationship with him was almost a way of me hiding my sexuality and not wanting to face the truth of me being gay. He loved me and I loved him and our relationship was strong, but when I told him I was pregnant he flipped out and ran away. I haven't heard from him since." She said whilst taking a sip of her coffee.
"That must of been hard, but why did you want to get back in touch with me?" I said wanting to get straight to the point.
"Well I always knew I wanted to find you again and by keeping your name the same as I gave you, I knew it would make it the slightest bit easier. I never really said that 'this is exactly when I wanted to find you', but millie knew about you; so when she saw two close friends at a football match and said we should go and talk to them, I wasn't annoyed that it was you because it meant we could talk and reconnect"
"Ok fair enough, and don't get me wrong I want to get to you know, but how do I know you aren't going to abandon me again" I said looking at her dead in the eye.
She took my hands and placed them in hers and said, "Because everyday I miss you. Everyday I regret it. Everyday I wish I woke up and knew what you were doing. Everyday is a day I wish you were included in" At this point I think we were both in tears. She signalled for me to join her on her lap, she I willing did. I sat their on her lap, in her arms, just like any mother and daughter would do because at the end of the day she is my mum.
"I know I literally just found you again, but who are you living with?" She said breaking the hug we were in.
"They aren't nice. My foster parents that is" i said trying to interpret what she was going to say next.
"Do you not want to live there anymore?" so did she mean not live there and live with her?
"No but I have no where else to go, so I try and survive my best" I said laughing to try and hide the truthfulness in that sentence.
"Would you be open to moving in with me? I know you only just met and we would have to get approved but.." before she could say anything i but in,
"Yes, yes and yes" I said squeezing her so tight she knew I wasn't kidding.
"Ok kiddo, I guess we have some phone calls to make!"
We finished up our coffees whilst talking about things in my life and things in hers. We talked about my school and daisy, as well as football of course; when it came to Rachel we spoke about her football and personal life and also her girlfriend Millie. Once we had finished our coffees, we left the cafe and made a plan for the rest of the day. I called daisy's mum and told her everything that had happened, and that me and Rachel were going to go and speak to my social worker to get me placed under Rachel cares until we could get her as my permanent guardian. We found Rachel's car and got in to drive to my social workers office. On the way, Rachel gave me free range over her Spotify account, meaning that we could sing along to any song I chose.
I must admit even though I had only known her for less than 48 hours, I felt like I had known her for my whole life. After all we have the same blood.
Once we had reached the office, we both became fairly nervous. What if it couldn't happen? What if we got in trouble? A thousand 'what ifs' were going through my head. As we stood at the door, Rachel held out her hand which i accepted meaning we could walk in hand in hand; I mean it worked in calming me down. We walked in and met with Emma my social worker,
"Hi Lily, how are you? What are you doing here? And who is this?" She said as her face went through every emotion.
"I'm fine thank you. Long story short, this is my mum, we reconnected and I want to be out of Mr and Mrs Murphy's care and put into my mums care." I said confidently, looking at Rachel as I said the latter part of my mini speech.
"Well you know that isn't easy but once we do some check and if you are 100% sure, I am sure we can make it happen. Whilst you wait, you can sit in our waiting room. I am sure you know where that is lily" I nodded and led Rachel to where Emma suggested.
We sat down in the waiting room in an awkward silence that was filled with our brains going into overload. Rachel's leg was bouncing up and down showing me that she was overthinking every possible scenario. I wanted her to know that even though I will never be able to fully understand why, I will never be mad at her.
"Rachel you do know that I will never be mad at you for giving me up; even though the past 13 years haven't necessarily been the best, there have also been good parts and after all I am back with you so now all we have to do is make up for lost time" I said with a smile on my face.
"Thank you baby girl. And I promise you that time will made up for" she said whilst ruffling my hair.
After around a 15 minute wait, Emma came out to where we were sat and took away Rachel for some questions, or at least that is what she told me.
Rachel's POV
As much as i never wanted to leave lily again, i knew i had to in order to get her back with me. Emma led me into her office where I sat down in a chair across from her desk. She had a constant smiley face, but I could tell that it wasn't all true.
"So Miss Daly I have a few mandatory question I have to ask you before I can put Lily into your care until it is made permanent, is that alright?" She said and I replied with a simple nod, not knowing what the question would enquire.
"how exactly did you reconnect with your daughter?" She said now holding a pen and pad to take notes of the upcoming conversation.
"Well my best friend Millie saw two best friends in the crowd at the England game. We went over and talked with them, and I figured out that there was a possibility that one of the girls, lily, could be my daughter. We asked to met with lily as well as her friend and her friends mum in a meeting room at the stadium. We spoke some more and eventually I told her that I thought she was my daughter. Now, after our conversation today i am very glad to say that she is in fact my daughter." I said trying to avoid saying anything that would hinder my possibility of not getting my daughter back.
"Ok, so how did she react? And what do you plan to happen now?"
"Obviously she was shocked and confused at first, but then weset up meeting again today and talked things through. How does she feel now? I think she is still confused but now seems excited and eager, but if you want to really know I would ask her. Now hopefully she can move back in with me and we can start to make up for lost time." As she was writing down notes, I had to get one more thing off of my chest. "I hope you know that even though I regret it everyday, I had every intent of coming back to find her. I know that it was probably the best for her and me at that time, or what I thought was the best, but now I am prepared and ready for her to come home." She looked up and smiled at me.
"Miss Daly i have no doubt that she will happy and ready to come home." Those words plastered a smile on my face.
Emma left the room and spoke to Lily for a few minutes, before returning with her. When she entered the room, she came running up to me and gave me a big hug. This is what I missed. And after signing some paper work, she was mine......
......well until the judge signs the permenant papers.
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I loved writing this chapter, and I hope you love reading!!! Next chapter will be another lengthy one and obviously i am still writing my other book, so if it is delayed i do apologise. Please give me your suggestion if you have any. Xx