What was less surprising to Ralph than Jack showing up at his front door late on a Thursday night was the fact that Jack didn't look like Jack.
In Ralph's mind, Jack was strong, fearless, untouchable. There wasn't a thing Ralph knew about Jack Merridew that made him seem small. That was, until now.
Ralph's mother clutched her son's chest as they took in the Merridew siblings. Paige stood behind her brother, well over a whole head taller than the boy. They looked so much alike, Ralph realized. They were both tall and lanky, and had piercing blue eyes. Their hair was as blond as the sun was bright. Paige looked like an older, female version of Jack. Their facial features weren't scary identical, but they were close to it. She was unmistakably his sister.
Ralph's eyes found Jack's across the room. Even from where Ralph was standing in the living room, he could see the bruising around Jack's face and neck. The blond boy was wearing a long sleeve black hoodie with some heavy metal band on it Ralph had only heard of in passing. He was wearing grey sweatpants that were slightly too short for the length of his legs.
Jeffery turned to raise a questioning eyebrow at his wife across the room, trying to communicate with her while keeping all three of the kids out of it.
"Ralph, honey, go get ready for bed, m'kay?" his mom peered around the boy's shoulder to quietly say.
"Why?" Ralph challenged her. His desire to stay and figure out what was going on made him bolder and more defiant than he usually would be.
"Because I said so, baby. Go. It's not up for debate" she insisted as she released him and gently shoved him toward the hallway leading to the bedrooms.
Laurie stood in the living room by herself after Ralph had unwillingly obeyed, and folded her arms over her chest as she waited to see how her husband was going to handle this.
Jeffery turned back to the Merridew siblings. Paige had a desperate look on her face. Jack looked as if he was staring right through him.
"What happened?" Jeffery asked in a hushed voice as he kept his eyes on Jack's bruised face.
"Jack and our dad started arguing and things got heated really quickly and I couldn't separate them. I tried but I'm not stronger than either of them. My dad just kept going and going and he didn't stop until I started screaming and crying. I threatened to call the police, but... Jack can't stay there tonight" Paige's eyes began to water. Jeffery noticed her mascara was rubbed off around her eyes. She clutched onto Jack's shoulder as she finished talking, just as his wife had clutched their son's only a minute or so earlier. It was a sign of fierce protectiveness, a sign Paige Merridew had written all over her.
Jeffery sighed heavily. He turned to look at his wife again. She had picked up her tea from the side table and was sipping it as Paige spoke. Laurie shrugged her shoulders at her husband. She felt trapped. She couldn't say no, not with a thirteen-year-old boy covered in bruises standing in her doorway after dark. She'd have to let him stay, no matter how uncertain she felt about it.
"Come inside" Jeffrey said as he made way to let them both in. He scrunched his eyebrows and shot Paige a confused glance when he looked down and realized Jack wasn't wearing any shoes. It was late March, and cold outside at this hour.
"He won't wear 'em" Paige informed him as she watched him stare down at Jack's bare feet.
Jeffery offered Jack some hot chocolate and let the boy sit down on the couch under a blanket and sip away at it. Himself, his wife, and Paige stood around the kitchen counter and talked.
"I can come get him as soon as my dad calms down. I thought he would go easier on Jack on account of what happened to him, but he hasn't been. I'm scared that he'll like really hurt him if he has the chance to when he's this mad" Paige explained quietly, hoping her brother couldn't hear her.
"Why is he so angry with Jack?" Laurie piped up to ask. Her tone showed more judgement than concern.
"Because Jack's been different since he got back. Dad's mad about things like him not wearing shoes and refusing to eat certain things he used to like, and not wanting to sleep in his room. Stuff like that" Paige noted sadly.
Laurie sighed as she realized how similar the things Paige was describing resembled the behaviours her own son had been exhibiting since the rescue. When she met her husband's gaze, she knew he was thinking the same thing: just like Ralph.
"My dad yells and tries to get Jack to listen to him, but it just makes Jack more resistant and things just keep escalating. He's been hard on 'im since I brought him home, but tonight was the first night I got really scared that Dad might do something bad, or worse the more frustrated he gets with Jack..."
"Well Paige, I'm not trying to diss your father but in my opinion, he needs to have more patience with Jack. Given the trauma your brother endured, it is going to take more than a couple months for the healing process to really start to begin" Jeffery explained as gently as he could to the girl.
"I know that, but..."
"Your dad doesn't" Jeffery finished for her, and Paige nodded agreeably.
Jeffery turned to Laurie for her approval to let Jack spend the night here. She nodded as her way of agreeing, but Jeffery could sense she wasn't particularly thrilled about it.
Jeffery took down Paige's cell number and the Merridew home phone number and provided her with his work, cell, and house numbers as well before he let her out. Laurie crept into Ralph's room as her husband set up a makeshift bed on the couch in the living room for Jack.
"Hey sweets" Laurie whispered as she crouched down to the floor where her son was laying with his little, thin blanket draped across him.
"Is Jack okay?" Ralph asked in a tired voice.
"Yeah, but he's going to spend the night here out on the couch. If you want to come sleep in our room, you can" his mom whispered as she caringly ran her hand over Ralph's forehead.
"Why can't he go home?" Ralph asked softly. He asked the question not out of a desire for Jack to be out of his house, but of concern for the boy who used to be his friend.
"It's just not a good place for him to be right now. You don't have to worry about it, baby. Okay? You don't have to talk to him if you don't want to. We can make sure to keep you separated until his sister comes and gets him if that's what you need to feel comfortable, alright?" his mom whispered gently.
"That's not why I was asking" Ralph insisted. "I was just making sure he was okay."
Her son had a bigger heart than she did, Laurie realized. As guilty as she felt for lacking in sympathy for Jack, she couldn't get the image of Ralph shrinking at the sight of him back at the airport out of her mind. Something happened that made Ralph afraid of Jack, and Laurie wasn't willing to take anything lightly when it came to Ralph now.
"Okay, Ralph, that's very kind of you. Just go to sleep, okay? You've got school work to get to in the morning" she kissed his forehead before she got up and closed his bedroom door behind her.
But Ralph couldn't sleep. He couldn't stop thinking about Jack, about all the bruises on the blond's pained, hollow face. Eventually, curiousity killed the cat that was Ralph Langley, and he got up and crept out of his room as quietly as possible as to not wake his parents. He checked the clock in the hallway as he tip toed through it; 12:44 it said.
Ralph stopped at the end of the hall and peered into the joined living room and kitchen area; it was black as night. The only light came from the distant digital clock on the kitchen stove.
"Ralph?" Jack's voice came from the middle of the darkness.
"Are you okay?" Ralph whispered as loudly as he could without raising his voice.
When Jack didn't answer, Ralph crept quietly through the living room until he found the couch. But Jack wasn't on it, he was propped up against it, sitting on the floor. The makeshift bed Ralph's dad had made him was seemingly untouched. Ralph stood in front of him, and glanced down at the blond. All he could see was Jack's shadow against the little light green from the stove clock.
Ralph plopped down beside Jack, but he didn't say anything. He just stared into the darkness as he tried to force his eyes to adjust to it. He felt Jack turn his head beside him. He couldn't see it, but he could feel Jack's eyes on him.
"What happened to you?" Ralph spoke in a hushed voice just above a whisper. He didn't turn to look at Jack, just kept his gaze fixed on the darkness in front of him as he spoke.
"Doesn't matter" Jack shrugged beside him.
"It does matter" Ralph argued softly.
"It never has before" Jack countered as he dropped his head.
Ralph turned to look at the shadow of his former friend now. His eyes adjusted as much as they were going to, and he could sort of make out the creases of Jack's body against the small amount of light.
"Well it does to me" Ralph continued to say.
"Why?" Jack asked as he turned to the brunette. They were both looking at each other now, despite not being able to see much at all. As much as Jack was challenging Ralph, he was also just curious.
"Because nobody deserves that" Ralph said gently.
"Nobody deserves to be smacked around? Not even me?" Jack pressed him doubtfully.
"Nobody deserves to have parents who don't love them" Ralph spoke into the darkness.
He knew he'd hit a nerve in Jack's heart when the blond didn't reply. He heard Jack drop his head into his knees which he'd brought to his chest. He covered his face with his arms as a means to hide from Ralph, and from the truth of his words. Ralph stared at the hidden figure of the other, his head buried tightly away. Ralph moved into the small space he had left between them when he first sat down, and brought his arm closest to Jack over his shoulder, pulling the older boy closer to him. He felt Jack lean into him, and drop his head on Ralph's shoulder as he quietly cried. Ralph reached his outside arm over his own body and grabbed onto Jack's knee. He gently stroked the boy's shoulder with the one over his shoulder, knowing he was providing Jack with the safe space to be vulnerable that he'd never had once in his life. It explained a lot, Ralph realized.
"It's okay" Ralph whispered comfortingly, just as his own parents would to him when he woke up upset in the night growing up. "I'm right here, I got you" he continued to whisper softly.
Jack finally let his arms go from his face and moved in closer to Ralph, his head falling comfortably in the crease of Ralph's neck. Ralph could feel Jack's tears running down his neck, but he wasn't bothered. Jack wrapped his arm around Ralph's back and then Ralph's knees with the other arm, and held onto the younger boy tightly. He'd forgotten how much he'd missed Ralph, how good of friends they'd been before the damn island. While it felt like forever ago now, Jack had once loved Ralph, cared for him, considered him to be one of his best friends. Right now, even with the island at the forefront of his mind, he couldn't remember why that had ever changed.
Jack's crying began to slow, as Ralph slowly ran his hand up and down the blond boy's arm. Ralph rested his head on Jack's as he stared across his black living room absentmindedly. He felt Jack's fingers curl around his skin as the other grew fearful that if he didn't hold on tight enough, Ralph might disappear.
Jack wasn't planning on saying it, even now his pride was too high, but he was dreading the moment Ralph would declare it was time for him to go back to his own room. He didn't want Ralph to go. He thought about that summer night before the island when Ralph had fallen asleep on him, and longed for it. He felt his pulse racing beneath his skin as the anticipation built up inside him.
But Ralph didn't move, nor did he talk. He just sat there, his back up against the couch, holding Jack, stroking his arm for comfort.
Jack suddenly sat up as his back became stiff from staying still for so long. His eyes found Ralph's, which he could see a little more clearly now. Ralph brought his fingers up to Jack's face and touched the dark bruise on his jaw. He traced the older boy's pale skin with his finger tips as he stroked each of the bruises he could see so faintly in the dark. Jack flinched in pain when Ralph's fingers found the blackened mark underneath his eye.
"I'm sorry" Ralph whispered delicately, but didn't take his hand away.
"Don't be" Jack chuckled softly with a smile, through a slow flow of tears. He brought his hand up and grabbed onto Ralph's wrist, stroking the inside of the boy's palm with his thumb.
Jack felt like he wasn't in control of his body. He was desperate, longed for this level of affection and comfort that nobody had ever offered him. He found himself releasing Ralph's wrist to drag his hand through the short curls that hung over Ralph's forehead. Jack smiled at him in the dark, indifferent to whether Ralph could see it or not.
Ralph stayed still and silent as Jack's fingers gently moved through his bangs, and around his face a little. The brunette's breathing became heavier as he wondered why he couldn't bring himself to stop Jack. He dragged thin, white knuckles down the side of Ralph's freckled face. Jack stopped at the other boy's chin before he stroked the soft skin on his neck beneath his ear. Ralph felt like his heart was beating out of his chest, and wondered if Jack could hear it too. His skin felt warm beneath Jack's fingers as he continued to question why he wasn't stopping Jack.
Jack moved in a little closer, bringing his other arm up over the couch, resting it on the cushion as his fingers travelled through the curls on top of Ralph's head. He pressed his own forehead against the brunette's and waited for him to react. Still, he didn't. His breathing picked up in weight and in pace a little, but he didn't fight it. Jack brought his other hand up from Ralph's neck to his cheek, and stroked it gently for a moment before bringing his aching lips to Ralph's.
Ralph kissed him back, but only for what felt like a split second. Ralph suddenly brought his arms up and gently pushed Jack off of him.
"Jack, you're really vulnerable right now" he whispered as gently as he could.
Jack backed up to put more space between them. Ralph had embarrassed him, despite his best effort to do what he thought was the right thing for him.
"I'm not vulnerable, but whatever, don't worry about it" Jack spoke in a pained voice.
"It's not that I—"
"Don't bother, I lost my head for a minute. Let it go" Jack insisted bitterly as he pulled the blanket off the couch and over his lap.
"But—"
"Ralph. Please. Just go" Jack demanded against his own will. He didn't want Ralph to leave, and he knew that, but he was too proud to admit it.
"What if I don't want to go?" Ralph challenged.
Jack was surprised by his response. A gust of warmth washed over his body for a moment, but it was gone rather quickly.
"What if that's what I want?" Jack retorted.
"Well, newsflash, Merridew, you can't always have what you want" Ralph said in a frustrated tone, as he found himself reaching and grabbing tightly onto Jack's hand so the blond couldn't pull away.
In that moment, Jack had never been more entranced by another person in his entire life. It was taking every ounce of energy in him to not push Ralph against the couch and kiss him again. But he didn't really understand why. He hated the boy. Ralph had thrown him under the bus in his Flag State interview, for sure. He'd made life on the island a pain in the ass. Sure, he missed Ralph at times, but not like this.
Or perhaps it was exactly like this, he remembered, as a distant memory flashed through his mind. But as soon as it was there, it was gone.
"I always get what I want" Jack finally responded as he wrapped his arms around the younger boy and pulled him into his lap. Ralph didn't resist this time, he just let Jack pull him as close to himself as he humanly could. He could feel Jack's arms around him so tight it was restricting his breathing a little. The blond desperately kissed Ralph's face and neck as he continued to squeeze his body tightly against his own. Ralph felt like his body was on fire on the inside as he pushed his hands through Jack's slick hair.
Jack's hands then wandered to the front of Ralph's midsection and to his waist. He pushed Ralph's t-shirt up a little until his skin found contact with Ralph's. The latter shivered a little at the contact but then pressed himself closer to Jack. Taking it as a sign, Jack pushed his hands up under the boy's shirt. He explored the formerly muscular boy's now much leaner body. He wouldn't have been able to see Ralph's ribcage, but he could feel it a little more prominently than he should've been able to. Jack suddenly felt guilty for starving Ralph out on the island, for taking away the muscle mass the boy had spent years building up in the academy gym. But ignoring guilt was what Jack did best, so he dismissed the thought and ran his hands up Ralph's stomach, up to his chest. Ralph was struggling to sit still now, shifting and twitching a little in Jack's embrace.
"I got you" Jack whispered against Ralph's neck as he dragged his fingertips down Ralph's chest. The younger boy pressed his lips together tightly as he resisted the urge to verbally respond to the pleasure he was experiencing. He pressed his mouth against Jack's to try and muffle his voice. Jack accepted this excitedly, stretching his neck back against the couch to give Ralph better access. Jack parted his lips from Ralph's for a moment so he could pull the boy's shirt up and over his head. He made to toss it aside but Ralph pulled him back in before he could properly throw the pyjama t-shirt. Instead, it dropped interrupted at their sides.
Ralph dropped his hands to find the bottom of Jack's hoodie, but when his fingertips found the skin beneath, Jack winced dramatically and resisted.
"Are you alright?" Ralph whispered with concern as he tried to pull Jack's sweater up to see.
"I'm fine" Jack responded quickly, pushing Ralph's hands away from his clothes. "Just leave it on" he added as he pulled Ralph closer to him again and began kissing the shirtless boy's chest.
"But did I hurt you?" Ralph asked as he pushed Jack away little again.
God, he can be so overprotective sometimes, Jack thought to himself, rolling his eyes in the dark.
"You didn't hurt me" Jack insisted, as his hands found Ralph's. He ran his fingers up and down the concerned boy's bare arms in an effort to distract him.
"But someone did" Ralph pushed, pulling himself off Jack's lap completely.
Jack threw his head back and rolled his eyes again in a more obvious way this time. "Come on, don't do this now" he pleaded.
Ralph sighed to himself as he took a moment to think. He glanced over at the clock on the stove. It was now 2:52.
"You gotta go to bed, huh?" Jack assumed as he caught Ralph staring at the clock.
"I should" Ralph said, patting his hands around the floor in search of his shirt. Once found, he pulled it over his head, sad that the moment had passed.
"I guess I'll see you tomorrow" Jack shrugged sadly, he too disappointed it was over.
Ralph crawled over to Jack and rested his head against the older boy's shoulder as he inhaled sharply, letting his breath go like a deflating balloon. Jack tried to resist the urge to wrap his arm around Ralph's shoulder and hold him, but he couldn't do it. He squeezed the younger boy and gently caressed his upper arm, back and forth.
Ralph had been planning on getting up and going back to his own room, but he didn't have the strength; physically or emotionally. He tried to fight it as his eyes became tired, struggling to keep them open. Eventually, he relaxed fully against Jack's body, and allowed the older boy to gently rub his arm until he fell asleep.