Halatang nagugulumihanan at kinakabahan si Cia nang makita ako sa harap ng pintuan ng unit niya. She cannot make eye contact with for the first seconds, but she immediately smiled.
"Heart...I mean, can I help you?"
I sighed. I don't know is she is just acting stupid or not. She must know by now why I am here because she must have been informed about the case. She must also been informed by Leo or anyone. I am sure she knows. Hindi niya lang sinasabi o talaga namang nagmamaang-maangan siya sa ngayon.
"Can we talk?"
"Yes. Sure. Pasok ka."
She let me in. I admit na hindi ganoon kalaki ang unit niya. Ibang-iba ito sa penthouse ni Pocholo na naging tirahan niya habang sila pa. All the things here feels like it downgraded. The design is very minimal but still somehow too messy for my eyes. Haze could never stay on a room with a mess like this. Pinaupo niya ako sa may maliit na mesa at upuan doon. It's maybe her dining area.
"Ah, water? Coffee?"
"No, thank you. I am just here to talk to you quick and go home. Hinihintay na ako ni Esmeralda." I honestly said.
Natigil siya roon at saka napatango nang marahan. Naupo na rin siya sa kaharap na upuan ko. She is now quiet trying to read the room and my mood. I heaved a deep sigh. Hindi ko alam kung saan at paano ko sisimulan ang pagsasabi at pagtatanong sa kaniya ng mga bagay-bagay. Looking back, I never really saw this situation coming our way. I never saw us ending this way. Sandali ko lang din siyang tiningnan. Weirdly enough, I caught myself reminiscing on the dirty things we did before all of this. It could have gone so smooth. We should have ended with just those fun memories, but no. Right now, we cannot do that. That will forever be covered with all these confusion and growing madness. She might have given me short term pleasure but the headache she is giving me now is not worth it all.
"Do you know Leo?" iyon agad ang tanong ko at hindi nilulubayan ng tingin ang mga mata niya at ang mga maaari niyang maging reaksyon. "Esmeralda's ex."
"Yes." sagot niya. Mabuti naman at mukhang wala siyang balak na tumanggi sa usapan naming ito. "Two weeks ago, if I am not mistaken."
"How?"
"I don't know. It just happened for some reason."
"Cia, it won't just happen for some reason. Where and how did you meet him. That is exactly what I am asking you. Well, sige never mind about it. It does not matter anymore, but do you know...are you aware that Leo is a married man?"
Sandali siyang tumingin sa akin. Bumuntong-hininga bago tumango.
"My God, Cia." agad ko ring sambit. "What is inside your mind? Akala ko 'yong validity ng open relationship n'yo sa mga single lang. Hindi pala. Pati pala may asawa kasama sa listahan noon."
"We did not become fuck buddies. Tss."
"But you two fucked." I sighed. "Dismayadong-dismayado ako sa ngayon. "I have evidence that the two of you did. You even swayed him to try and ruin Esmeralda and I. How you knew she has her sex video is still a mystery to me but fuck, Cia. I cannot believe you did that."
"What can I do? You dumped me. My boyfriend dumped me. I have needs. Sexual needs and some emotional comfort and Leo were there. He popped up like a prince and took care of me on those days."
"Cia,"
"You cannot blame me for continuously fucking guys who are handsome and good at bed plus they care about me."
"Leo did not care about you...or anyone else."
"Don't judge him. Hindi naman ikaw 'yong nakakantutan niya. I was the one to fuck him and know him."
"He is not who you think he is. Mixing yourself with that man will potentially ruin your future." I said. "Tingnan mo't ilang linggo mo pa lang siyang kasama e may kaso ka na agad. You are aware he is married. Why did you still give your consensus for sex?"
"Because I am in an open relationship. My God. Paulit-ulit."
Natigil ako at bumuntong-hininga. Kahit papaano ay kailangan kong magtimpi. I came here to talk to her calmly. I need to stay calm to not lose what I came here for.
"You must be aware that Leo's husband is potentially suing you for your affair."
"Tss. We aren't in a relationship. I can just say that it was just a casual sex and move along. Bakit ko i-stress-in ang sarili ko roon?"
"You swayed him to almost leak Esmeralda's sex video with him. That is a crime. A big crime that will ruin you and Esmeralda the most. Kapag nadamay ka roon, sirang-sira na ang future mo. Do you have any idea what are you doing with your life? Leo's wife is a woman you should not take easy. He is sueing her husband from multiple crimes and you if ever. Cia, iyong totoo. Nagrerebelde ka ba sa buhay mo?"
Mas lalo na lang siyang hindi nakapagsalita. Umiwas din siya ng tingin na mukhang ayaw pag-usapan ang mga nangyayari.
"If you're here, are you still going to school? Hindi ba't sabi mo ay malapit na ang OJT ninyo?"
"Tss. How can I go to that fucking school when I am heartbroken and broke at the same time? Wala na akong uuwiang pamilya. Lahat sila kamping-kampi kay Pocholo na akala mo naman ay siya ang anak sa aming dalawa. Tss. Noong kami pa e puring-puri ako. Ako palagi ang paborito pero ngayong wala na kami ay ganoon na lang ako husgahan. Wow."
"They have all the rights to judge you for the wrong decisions you are making. They are your family." I sighed again. "Cia, idedemanda ka ng asawa ni Leo kapag nagkataon. By now, maybe she is preparing for the case. May I know the reason why you played with Leo and swayed him to use him and try to ruin Esmeralda and I?"
She chuckled. "Tinatanong pa ba iyon?" Umiling pa siya sandali. "Malamang galit ako. I am mad at the both of you. Ako eh galit sa'yo dahil nang sabihin mong itigil na natin ang ginagawa natin, nawala na sa akin lahat. Maybe it was when the time you asked me to ruin your life, it all started. Ayaw kong malugi. Ayaw kong ako lang ang talo rito. Of course, I fell in love, and I am still in love. I am insecure of Esmeralda because she has it all. Kahit anong gawin mo, she could never be the reason why your life will be a mess. She is always your to go to person."
"Of course. She is my best friend. What do you expect e ikaw nga ang naglagay ng mga rules rules diyan sa open relationship n'yo. Sex lang. So, do I expect you to fall for me? Absolutely no."
Muli siyang napailing. Mayamaya pa at napangiti na.
"Yeah. I never really truly expected that I will fall for you and your fucking sex. I knew I always love rough sex and I loved it even more when you made me feel free while we're doing it. Hindi mo ako masisisi na mahulog ako sa'yo."
"Cia,"
"Siguro naman ay nasagot ko na iyong mga tanong mo. I missed you, Heart. Sobra. I felt like when Pocholo and I broke up, mas masakit iyong pain ng pagkakasabi mong let's stop dahil narealize mong mahal mo pala talaga ang bestfriend mo. It made me confused. I only known you for months, yet the pain is heavier from that of Pocholo."
I heaved a sigh once again. Hindi ko na talaga alam ang gagawin ko kay Cia lalo na ngayong ipinagpapatuloy niya pa itong pagpapaliwanag sa mga nararamdaman niya.
"I might help you to be safe from this case, Cia. For Esmeralda. But please do not do this again." sambit ko sabay tayo na rin. "Make better decisions in the future. I am also looking forward to seeing you getting an apology from Esmeralda and the danger you've put her in. That is what I really like you to do."
"Heart," tumayo na rin siya. Mukhang ayaw pang magpatalo.
"Goodbye. I hope this is going to be our last talk-"
I did not get to finish talking when she kissed me all of a sudden. Marahas at biglaan kaya ang inisyal kong reaksyon ay ang itulak siya ngunit hindi niya iyon inalintana. She tried kissing me again and again.
"Cia, stop."
"No. You love my kisses. You love me sucking your dick." she hissed and tried kissing me one more time.
Sa pagkakataong ito ay naitulak ko na talaga siya. Nagulat siya pero sandali lang. It also made her smile sarcastically.
"Parehas nga lang talaga kayo ni Pocholo," she laughed. "Parehas na parehas nga kayong pipiliin pa rin e babae kaysa sa akin."
"Pocholo never cheated on you. It was you who made the situation messy in the first place."
"Because it was you who made me do it!" she started to talk loudly while looking at me. "You and your fucking skills in bed. The attention you gave me. Ayaw kong biglaang mawala iyon so it made me crazy and confused when suddenly you said we should stop. I love fucking with you. I love it so much."
"Cia... are you?"
"No. I am not a sex addict."
"I did not say anything about that." I said confused. "Are you really-"
She tried kissing me again.
"Daddy, come on. Hmm? Akin na lang ulit 'to. Promise, gagalingan ko pa ulit. I will do anything you want me to. Itali? I-blindfold. Patayuin sa mesa o sa upuan habang nakatali ang paa't kamay, I'll do it again and again just like we did." she said. She's not only trying to kiss me right now but also trying to undress my pants.
"Cia,"
"No, daddy. Please. Magbabait na ako. Just don't leave me..."
One more time, she tried to kiss me again. Iniiwasan niya iyong kamay kong pumipigil sa kaniya ay ngayon nga ay lumuhod pa habang sinusubukang muli akong hubaran. Para siyang uhaw na uhaw sa libog ngayon. Para siyang wala na sa katinuan.
"Cia,"
"No, daddy. Please. Sasambahin kita araw-araw. Kung napapasaya ka ni Emerald, alam kong mas mapapasaya kita. We know we both want each other's body more than that fucking whore who fucked-"
"Cia!"
"Daddy, stop being mad. If I am being too naughty right now, punish me again just like what you always do to me for being so naughty. Daddy, hmm?"
Akala ko ay titigil na siya pero tuloy pa rin siya sa ginagawa niya. This time, nakapaghubad na siya ng suot niyang T-shirt at bra. Isinunod niya ang kaniyang pants at tinitingala ako.
"Daddy..."
"Cia, stop embarrassing yourself."
She did not listen. She did what she wanted to do. Ngayong hindi siya tumitigil ay hindi ko inaasahang hahawakan niya ang sarili sa harapan ko. She's touching herself while looking at me. Trying to seduce me and all. Ang isa niyang kamay ay pinipisil-pisil ang sarili niyang nipples at ang isa ay abala sa kaniyang pagkababae. She is masturbating in front of me in attempt to seduce me this time.
"Cia, stop it."
Umiling siya. Paulit-ulit. "Hmm ah ah, Daddy. Don't you like what you see?" she asked and crawled to me. She attempted to touch me again and undress me. "Please, daddy..."
Tinanggal ko ang kamay niya sa akin at humakbang papalayo sa kaniya. Iba na ang nararamdaman ko ngayon and I lost it when she stands up and tried to kiss me again. Sobrang kumakabog na iyong dibdib ko at nawawala na ako sa wisyo. I cannot explain the heaviness I am feeling all of a sudden. Sa pakiramdam ko ay mawawalan na ako ng hininga.
"Daddy, ahh," Cia faked moaned.
"Fucking stop, Cia!"
Hindi ko na napigilan. Naghihingal akong napasigaw habang kinakalma ang sarili. Pawis na pawis na rin ako dahil sa sama ng pakiramdam ko.
All the memories of my trauma are attacking me