At dahil na-shock ako dahil may naiyak daw sa huling sinabi ni Chase sa last update at may nagsabi pa na baka daw ma-heartbroken sa update na ito, heto si Chase upang magpaliwanag ng lahat.
____________________________________
Chase's
After getting some medicine and a pot of coffee, I quickly headed for my bedroom and pushed the door open with my free hand. I stood still and had to bite back a groan at the image before me. Jasmin lay sprawled on her back, long, bare legs tangled in the sheets. Some of her bare stomach could be seen as the buttons on my polo shirt popped loose.
I smiled to myself. I never thought that this day would come. Napakagandang tanawin ang makita itong natutulog sa aking higaan na suot-suot ang aking damit na mahaba sa kanya.
I stepped forward, the light from the blinds slicing me into light and shadow as I set down the tray on the bedside table. Before sitting on the side of the bed, I took out the blinds from the window so that I could clearly see Jasmin as she slept.
With a contented sigh, I watched her sleeping beside me. She had a small, peaceful smile on her angelic face like she was dreaming something nice. I brushed my fingers along the side of her cheek as she rolled to my side. I didn't think I would ever tire of that sight. This was probably my favorite time to be with her: Watching her sleep, wondering what it was she dreamt about.
Naisip ko ang mga nangyari kagabi. I had spent some time at Green Point after our class. I tried to not stay constantly at Green Point's bar when Jasmin worked dahil bukod sa iniiwasan ko na ito ay ayoko namang makita nito akong nagpapakalasing pagkatapos ng nangyari. Of course, I wouldn't let her know how much her piercing words affected me. Though, I knew perfectly well that in the first place, it was my fault.
It was usually when my team mates didn't come out that I would leave early. Lately, I didn't mind because I prefer drinking alone and would go straight to a low class pub so nobody would recognize me.
Kung gaano ko iniiwasang makita ako ni Jasmin na ganoon ako, mas lalong ayokong makita akong ganoon ng mga kakilala ko. Ang hindi ko alam ay makikita ko rin pala ang babaeng aking iniiwasan ngunit palagi pa ring tumatakbo sa aking isipan sa pupuntahan ko.
I was filled with joy with Jasmin being here in my room, lying in my bed, breathing peacefully in her sleep, until more of yesterday's memories came flooding back to my brain and I frowned.
I chugged down the beer and signaled the waiter to get me another one. Maaga pa lang ay umalis na ako sa Green Point at pumunta dito sa malapit na pub. Ayokong maabutan ako ni Jasmin doon. Napagpasyahan kong sa isang sulok at madilim na bahagi pumwesto para maiwasan ko ang istorbo.
In my corner in the back of the room, I could see everything: the hectic crowd dancing, the panicking waiters, and the flairing show of the bartender. My eyes averted to every single person, as they busied themselves with what they were doing. Kinuha kong muli ang aking baso ng beer at ininom iyon, reminding myself that it's the fourth one.
I placed it back down on my table and turned around to watch the crowd dancing. Napadako ang aking tingin sa pinto when I saw someone new enter the pub. It almost looked like Jasmin but I knew it was impossible. Hindi ito pumupunta sa mga ganitong klase ng lugar kaya malabong siya 'yon. Shaking my head sadly, I picked up my beer again and took a small sip.
Ipinilig ko ang aking ulo at tumingin ulit sa babae na ngayon ay nakaupo na sa isa sa mga stool sa harap ng barista. Hindi pa ako nalalasing sa limang baso ng alak lang pero bakit hindi pa rin nagbabago ang anyo nito? Bakit nakikita ko pa rin si Jasmin kahit dito? Tinagalan ko pa ang tingin sa babae at doon ko nalaman na hindi pala ako namamalik-mata lang. She was here. Jasmin was definitely here.
"Leave another glass of Tokyo Tea for me, please." Sabi ni Jas mayamaya sa barista. Kahit nasa malayo ay nabasa ko pa rin ang sinabi nito. I observed her for a few more moments before leaning back to my seat and the music became a distant sound. The beer was completely forgotten as I curiously stared at her.
Naikuyom ko ang aking kamao nang bigla na lamang nitong inilugay ang kanyang mahabang buhok at tinanggal ang suot nitong makapal na coat saka tumayo at sumayaw sa gitna ng dance floor. Kinailangan ko pa ng ibayong pagpipigil sa aking sarili na huwag itong lapitan at hilahin palayo sa lugar na ito.
Lasing na kaya ito? Jas danced and I was left breathless as her eyes were incandescent, her pale complexion complemented the slight redness on her cheeks and her long, red hair fell gracefully down her back. I've said this before and I would say this again. I've never seen someone so beautiful.
Sa unang tingin ay karaniwalang bar hopper lamang ito pero nang bumalik ulit ito sa stool at iinumin ang in-order nitong alak ay napapangiwi ito at halos ay masuka. Palatandaan na hindi ito sanay uminom ng alak. Base sa hitsura nito ay ngayon lang ito nakainom.
Ang lugar na pinili niyon na nasa harap ng barista ay malayo sa karamihan at pawang walang pakialam sa mundo. Tulad ko ay nais na nag-iisa. Marahil ay masama ang loob ni Jas dahil nawala na ang apartment sa kanya. Alam ko dahil sekretong pumunta ako kanina doon para alamin ang sitwasyon niya.
May balak ba ito na magpakalasing? Masyado bang mabigat ang dinadala nito na kailangan nitong gawin ang mga bagay na hindi nito noon ginagawa? Bukod doon sa pagkawala ng apartment ay may iba pa kaya itong problema? Kanina pa ito umiinom ng beer at nag-order pa ito ng Tokyo Tea. Bilang na bilang ko pa kung naka-ilang baso na ito ng malakas na alak na iyon. Tatlo.
Ang barista na nag-aabot ng inoorder ni Jas ay nagtataka rin at marahil ay iisa kami ng iniisip dahil kanina pa ito sa counter. Mabilisang tinawag ko ang dumaan na waiter saka ibinulong na patigilin na ang barista sa pagbibigay nito ng alak. First time drinkers are easy to get away at kung hindi titigil sa pag-inom si Jas ay natitiyak ko na bigla na lamang itong babagsak sa sahig!
I snapped out of my thoughts when Jasmin moved at bahagyang tumaas ang sleeve ng polo shirt na suot nito. It wasn't the attractiveness of her body that made me slow however, but it was what was under the sleeve that had surprised me. A dark blue bruise formed there, it appeared painful. I sat up straight.
What the hell did that bastard at the pub do to her? Anong karapatan nitong maglagay ng marka sa katawan ng babaeng mahimbing na natutulog ngayon sa kama ko?
Damn, ni katiting ay wala itong karapatan! Only me has the right to leave marks on her skin that anyone could see. And no, definitely not bruises but hickeys. The moment Jasmin admitted that she wanted me, too, may karapatan na ako sa kanya.
Napapikit ako when disjointed images of us flashed through my mind. Ang maalab na halik na pinagsaluhan naming dalawa. Just thinking about it right now, I started feeling the heat of desire rise through my body. And then my hand caressed her flesh. It was soft, warm, enticing.
Marahas na iminulat kong muli ang aking mga mata at nagtagis ang aking bagang nang maisip na kung hindi ko naabutan kaagad ang tarantadong lalaking hinihila palabas si Jasmin sa pub ay baka nagawa na din ng lalaking iyon ang mga bagay na hindi ko gugustuhin isipin na gagawin kay Jas ng iba. I suddenly felt very protective of her and I wanted to haunt the bastard down. Oh, I really wouldn't mind hurting that asshole.
I began to stroke Jas' arm softly as she gave a little sigh and a moan, shifting to lay with her back to me. Remembering what I told her last night, I squeezed my eyes shut briefly and exhaled loudly.
I knew too well that I didn't deserve her. Since the very minute we had met, I already knew that. But this girl was mine, she is mine, she will always be mine. Jasmin's all mine alone. And having said that, I would protect her with everything I have.
Alonzo's
Ang babaeng may pinakamaiksing suot na maid costume na may dala-dalang juice ang naglakas-loob lumapit kay Chase. Tumatawa pa ito at rinig na rinig ko iyon dito. Parang nakukuryente naman at naghahagikhikan pa ang dalawang kasamahan nito sa kanyang likuran. Wala man lang kamalay-malay si Chase na pinagnanasahan na siya ng mga ito at may isang babae na pala ang paparating dahil busy ito sa paglilinis ng kanyang sasakyan.
Pero hindi iyon ang binigyan ko ng pansin. Wala din ako sa aking sarili para magselos dahil paulit-ulit na lamang ang huling sinabi sa akin ni Chase sa aking isipan.
"I love you, Jasmin."
Nahugot kong muli ang aking paghinga. Just by the thought of Chase saying those words to me made my heart stop. Eksakto ba talaga ang aking dinig? Iyon ba talaga ang sinabi nito? Hindi pa malinaw sa akin iyon pero sapat na iyon upang magwala na ang mga paru-paro sa aking tiyan.
Nang makalapit na ang babae kay Chase ay tumigil si Chase sa kanyang ginagawa. Iniabot ng babae ang baso ng juice dito at ngumiti naman si Chase ng bahagya. Just when I was about to make a face and frown at the disgusting sight, Chase accidentally looked up and saw me looking over at them by the window.
Chase's face brightened and his smile widened when he saw me and I paused, my chest seemed much too small to hold my beating heart in. Nakalimutan ko ding sumimangot dito nang masilayan ko ang ngiti nito.
"Hi," Chase mouthed then he slowly raised his hand and waved, only moving his hand very slightly. Hindi ko alam pero napangiti na ako sa tinuran nito kahit pa sa nasaksihan kong ngitian ng dalawa kanina.
Ilang minuto ding hindi inaalis ni Chase ang tingin nito sa akin habang nakangiti pa rin. Doon na tumingin din sa itaas ang babaeng nakasuot ng maiksing-maiksi na maid costume at nawala ang malaking ngiti nito nang makita ako. Hindi pa nga naiinom ni Chase ang kanyang juice ay ibinalik na nito ang baso sa babae at mabilis na isinuksok ang kanyang kamay sa kanyang bulsa at inilabas ang telepono niya.
Hindi ko maiwasang hindi mapatawa ng bahagya. Ngayon ko lang nakita si Chase na inignora ang isang babae. Maganda naman 'yong babae at sobrang sexy pa nito kaya hindi ko maisip na katulong lang nila ito. Mas nakakatuwa pa dahil ang dahilan ng pag-ignora niya dito ay ako. Totoo nga kaya ang sinabi niyang mahal niya ako?
Napatingin ako sa ibabaw ng dresser nang may biglang tumunog. Kunot-noong pinuntahan ko iyon at nagulat na lamang ako nang makita ang pamilyar na cellphone doon. Paano napunta ang cellphone ko dito? Mabilis ko 'yong kinuha at nakita kong mayroong limang missed calls at sampung messages galing kay Veance doon. Mayroon ding isang mensahe galing sa isang unknown number. Nakakunot-noo pa rin ako nang pagpasyahan kong buksan at unahing basahin ang mensahe galing sa hindi ko kilalang numero.
+639999402505
2012.11.28
11:12 AM
"Morning, Love. Sleep well?"
I raised a brow at the message. Sino ba ito? Ang aga naman yatang mang-istorbo. Babalewalain ko na sana ang mensaheng iyon at ibalik na sa ibabaw ng dresser ang aking telepono ngunit napahinto ako.
My eyes widened as my pulse instantly skyrocketed the moment the message registered to my brain. 'Morning, Love.' Love! Hindi ko masyadong natatandaan pero mukhang narinig ko na itong tinawag sa akin ni Chase kagabi! Bumalik ako sa may bintana at nakita ko si Chase na nakatayo pa rin katabi ng sasakyan niya. Nakahawak pa rin ito sa kanyang telepono at nakangiting nakatingala sa akin. Napatingin ulit ako sa hawak-hawak kong telepono nang tumunog ulit ito.
+639999402505
2012.11.28
11:20 AM
"I got your things at Green Point and your phone when I went back to the pub. How are you feeling?"
Nang mabasa ko ang mensaheng iyon ay nakompirma kong si Chase nga ito. Naalala ko din na pumunta nga pala ako sa pub kagabi para maglasing pero bukod doon at sa mga nangyari dito sa mansyon ay wala na akong matandaan pa. May nangyari pa bang mas masahol pa sa ginawa namin ni Chase dito? Oh, no. Hindi ko na alam kung may mukha pa ba akong maihaharap pa sa kanya.
+639999402505
2012.11.28
11:33 AM
"I prepared some medicine and a pot of coffee to get rid of your hangover. There are also fresh towels in the bathroom. Please help yourself."
My hands were sweating, my heart was wildly beating, and I was blinking my eyes trying to understand what was happening. Kailan pa naging concern sa akin ang lalaking ito? O baka mas tamang sabihing kailan pa naging ganito ka-corny si Chase?
+639999402505
2012.11.28
11:41 AM
Hey! Aren't you going to reply? Do you want me to go upstairs? Are you sore? If so, then probably you can barely move. Hang on there; I'll feed you and I'll be the one to wash you up. You know very well that I won't mind, Love."
I gasped and I lifted my eyes from my phone, looking out of the window immediately, and then felt my face burst into flames as I caught sight of Chase, smiling mischievously at me.
Ayos na sana ang mga sinabi nito kanina dahil napapangiti na ako kung hindi lang sa huling mensahe nito. Ano ba ang pinagsasabi ng lalaking ito? Wala talaga itong kahihiyan kahit anong oras o araw man.
Chase's beautiful, sparkly eyes were fixed on me. It seemed as though they were dancing at me, daring me to go down to him, and I swallowed as I continued to stare at him.
Pinigilan ko ang sarili kong huwag itong puntahan. 'Naman! Bakit ba ang bilis kong maakit dito?' In an effort to distract myself, I straightened and rolled my eyes playfully at him. "Douche," I mouthed.
Chase just shrugged and smiled genuinely as a response and my heart went wild, flying colors everywhere as he continued to melt me with his stare.
Seconds later, his face turned serious and looked at me thoughtfully. My eyes bored into him and I creased my eyebrows in confusion. Bakit ba pabago-bago ng nararamdaman ang lalaking ito? Kanina lamang ay nakikipagbiruan pa ito sa akin, ah? Tinotoo ba niya ang sinabi ko?
"I love you, Jasmin." he mouthed slowly and I literally stopped breathing, my mouth slightly agape and yet no sound came out. My eyes widened in shock but I remained frozen - rooted in place with my knees slightly bent.
Totoo nga. Totoo nga ang narinig ko mula rito noong nagdaang gabi. Hindi ko alam pero nakaramdam ako ng kakaibang saya. Muli, inilagay ko ang aking kamay sa aking dibdib at pakiramdam ko ay lalayasan na ako ng puso ko sa sobrang pagwawala nito sa loob ng dibdib ko.
It was at that moment that I realized that I was still holding my phone - grasping it tightly as I cradled it against my chest. I had forgotten all about it as Chase mouthed the three words again and what he stated after he said those words to me last night came clearly to my head, striking its way to my heart.
"And if you aren't ready yet, I'll respect that. I respect you. You've done this countless of times. You respond to my kisses and all but each time we get closer and closer to actually having sex, you'll stop me. I am just a guy; this is harder for me than beating up twenty assholes just to keep you with me. I feel like you're just being a big tease but I don't want you to feel pressured or pushed into it."
I could feel my eyes burning with tears, they clouded my vision. Nakatingin lang ako kay Chase na noo'y nakatingala pa rin sa akin habang inaalala ko pa rin ang mga sinabi nito kagabi. Nag-aalala ang mga mata nito dahil na rin siguro sa naging reaksyon ko.
"Now I'm about the most understanding guy you'd find. Girls are confusing. You are confusing. But then I am willing to wait. I don't care if I'll wait forever. I still and want you more than I want sex."
A wild, strangled cry sounded from my lips as tears flowed down my cheeks. My phone slipped instantly from my fingers, and I felt it drop to the floor. I cried because I remembered the look in his eyes and the sincerity of his voice that he was telling the truth.
Nasabi na niya. Nasabi na niya ang mga bagay na noon ko pa hinihintay na lumabas sa bibig niya. I was afraid to get hurt. I knew that loving someone like Chase would be painful so I wanted to run away.
Hindi ko talaga kaya na tanggapin ang alok niya when I'm so in love with him and I know that he doesn't feel the same way. Pero nang marinig ko sa mga labi niya ang mga salitang hindi ko aakalaing maririnig ko mula sa kanya ay pakiramdam ko, wala nang mas hihigit doon at sapat na iyon para manatili ako sa tabi niya.
"I, Chase Guevara, the player, admit that I am in love with you, Jasmin Apple Alonzo."