PROLOGUE. lovebomb
Kennedy was not having a good day. She rarely ever had good days. But this day was particularly worse, and she blamed it on her mother.
mom
kenny, honey, your grandmother
will be picking you up at the end
of the year. you'll be staying
with her for a while. i'm just
not in the right head space right
now for you to be here. i'm
afraid you being here will make
it worse. i'm sorry.
I'm afraid you being here will make it worse. She didn't even say I love you. Kennedy was used to her mom's bipolar behavior. But it never stopped her from feeling angry when her mother treated her this way. It was always her fault. Never hers. Kennedy released a frustrated cry and she threw her phone. She sank to the floor and gripped her bed sheets. She cried and cried until the cries were silent.
Presley came into their room and her eyes went wide. "Ken!" She gasped and dropped to her side. "Kennedy, what's wrong? Did something happen?"
"My—My mom. . . S-She. . ." Kennedy stuttered and cried again.
Her friend sighed, understanding completely. She wrapped an arm around her. "It's okay. It's okay. Just breath. What happened this time?"
Presley was used to her best friend's mother ruining her days. Kennedy was always crying over her. The pair had been roommates since they both started at Nevermore. They were best friends. Practically sisters.
Kennedy inhaled a deep, shaky breath to try and calm herself. "My mom said she doesn't want me to come home. She said me coming home will be bad for her. I'm staying with my grandmother."
Her friend frowned. "Oh, Kenny, I'm so sorry."
"Why doesn't she love me, Pres? What did I do?"
Presley tightened her arms around her. "It's not your fault, Ken. Your mom's problems are not your fault! Okay, I promise. Your grandmother will take care of you."
Kennedy laid her head on Presley's shoulder. "I'm just so tired, Presley. I'm tired of everything being my fault."
Kennedy's breakdowns were always the same. She's cry, Presley would do her best to calm her down, she'd clear her head, and then she'd move on as if nothing happened. It was easy for her to just go on about her day and not dwell on her sadness. She kept her emotions bottled up. Nobody needed to know what was going on with her.
She finished tying her hair into two pigtails. Her face was no longer red and splotchy from crying. She concealed her under eyes and put on mascara. "Don't let them see you cry." She whispered to herself. She shakily smiled at herself in the mirror.
She was thankful it was the weekend and that she didn't have classes. Kennedy walked downstairs to the lounge area. She jumped when a pair of arms wrapped around her waist. Xavier's laugh rang in her eyes. She rolled her eyes. "How many times have you told you to stop doing that?"
Xavier shrugged and smirked at her. "A lot, but you know I don't like to listen."
She nodded sarcastically. "Yeah, I've caught onto that."
They smiled at each other. Xavier kissed her softly. "How are you this morning?"
Her arms went around his torso. "It's been alright." How about yours?"
They started walking outside. "Ajax snuck into my dorm room and woke Rowan and I up by his snakes slithering on our faces, so, I'd say not so well." He told her with an amused grin.
She chuckled. "I would've punched him in the face."
"I will next time. Rowan's scream was enough for me." He chuckled back.
They smiled at their friends who passed by them. Kennedy's phone dinged in her pocket. She removed one of her arms from his waist and took it out of her back pocket.
halmeoni 🤍
hi, my beautiful girl.
i'm sure you already
know that you'll be staying
with me for a while.
i'm so sorry about this
situation but I promise the two
of us will have the best time
together. i'll see you
at the end of the year.
I love you.
Xavier looked down and saw her fallen expression. "Is everything okay?"
Kennedy shook her head and put her phone away at the same time. "No, I'm not."
He was now more concerned. "What happened?"
She spun around and took off walking. Xavier quickly chased after her. "My mother doesn't want me to come home. I'm staying with my grandma after the year's over." She explained quickly.
"What? Why would she do that?"
"Because she hates me, Xavier!" The girl almost shouted. Her eyes filled with tears of anger.
Kennedy stormed back inside and started running up the stairs. "Ken, hold on!" Xavier called out and ran up the stairs after her. "She doesn't hate you, Kennedy."
"Yes, she does!"
When they reached the top of the stairs, she grabbed her arm and spun her around. "Ken, talk to me!"
She shoved him away. "I don't want to talk, Xavier! Don't you get it? My own mother hates me! She blames me for my dad dying and now she doesn't want me!"
From the corner of his eye, Xavier could see people staring at them. Anxiety crept in his bones and he grabbed her arm again, gently pulling her away so nobody could see or hear them. "Kennedy, hey, listen to me. It's going to be okay—"
"Stop telling me that!" Kennedy hissed through her teeth. Her eyes went dark. "Everybody tells me that! Nothing's going to be okay."
Xavier attempted to cup her face in his hands.
"Kenny—"
Not being able to conceal her anger, she pushed her hands away. "Stop, okay? Stop treating me like a child!" She fought again.
He sighed frustratingly. "I'm not treating you like a child! I'm your boyfriend and I'm trying to help you!"
"I don't need your help, Xavier. I just need to be alone."
He scoffed. "You always want to be alone."
Kennedy nodddd. "You're right, I do." She stated and took off down the hallway that led to her room.
Xavier followed after her. "Why do I ever try, Kennedy? Really, why do I? You won't talk to me and you won't ever let me help you." He got angry.
She spun around and faced him with a red face. "Then stop trying. Just leave me alone!" She shouted.
Xavier suddenly glared at her. "Why are you acting like this?"
"Don't be such a baby, Xavier."
"Fuck you, Kennedy." He accidentally blurted out.
Her mouth clamped shut. The couple stood frozen in front of each other, neither knowing what to say. Xavier looked guilty but he didn't say sorry. He didn't mean to say it, he really didn't, but she pushed him.
Kennedy scoffed again and glared at him. "Screw you, Xavier."
She left and this time, Xavier didn't follow her.
Presley's arms were wrapped around her as she cried. Kennedy laid curled on her bed with her face in her pillow. Her friend whispered to her that it would be okay over and over again. "God, why am I like this?" Her cry muffled. "Why am I such a fucking baby?"
"Don't talk about yourself like that. You're just hurting. You have a right to be." Said Presley with a soft voice.
"I hate fighting with him. He tries so hard and I just push him away. I don't mean to."
The vampire nodded. "I know. Xavier knows that too. He loves you, Ken."
"I know he does but I'm afraid I'm going to push him away too much and he won't want to be with me anymore." Kennedy continued to cry.
"You guys have been together for almost two years. Trust me, Kenny, he's not going anywhere. He's completely in love with you."
Presley's words sunk deeply into Kennedy's brain. They battled against the demons that were always swimming around in her head and they managed to win. She exhaled heavily and wiped her face. "You're right." She nodded and slowly started to sit up. "You're right. I'm just being dramatic. He loves me and I love him. I just. . . need to apologize and we'll get through it." She stated.
Presley smiled widely. "There ya go."
Her phone went off. Kennedy grabbed it from her nightstand and saw it was a text from Xavier.
zay 💘
can we talk?
meet me tonight at our spot.
She smiled at her phone. "He wants to talk. That's good, right?"
Presley quickly nodded. "Yeah, it is! It'll give you two a chance to work things over."
She smiled wider.
When the sun went down and the stars came out, Kennedy left the school and walked through the woods to meet Xavier. Their spot was a small cabin they found and he turned it into his art studio. The cold December air hit her in the face and she shivered. She tightened her jacket around herself.
Xavier's back faced her and his arms were crossed over his chest. "Hey, Zay." She voiced with a smile.
Xavier turned and faced her. He didn't smile back. "Hey, Ken."
She looked around the art filled room. "I'm glad you asked me to come here. There's some things we need to talk about."
"Yeah." he muttered under his breath, frowning.
She walked up to him and cupped his face in his hands. He flinched ever so slightly. "I just want to say. . . I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get that mad earlier. It's just I'm really upset about my mom. She basically doesn't want me as a daughter anymore. I took that out on you and I'm sorry." She quickly explained.
Xavier felt his heart drop at her words. There was hope in her wide brown eyes that matched the hope in her pretty smile. The smile that he loved so much. He took her hands and slowly dropped them from his face, keeping a hold on them. "Sit down, Kennedy." He told her.
Giving him a brief strange look, Kennedy slowly backed up and sat in one of the chairs he kept in the cabin. Xavier grabbed another one and sat in front of her, slouching. He looked nervous. "Why do you look so nervous?" She asked.
His jaw shifted. "There's something I need to say." He started to say.
Her face fell. "What is it?"
He grabbed her hands again and rubbed his thumb along her knuckles. He stared down at them. "I love you, Kennedy. . ."
"I know."
He looked into her eyes. "But. . . I can't do this anymore."
Silence. That was all there was between them. Xavier stared at her like a scared animal and waited for her to respond. Kennedy was stoic with her mouth gaped slightly. Her eyes scanned his face. She breathed out a laugh. He pinched his brows together at her reaction. She covered her mouth with her hand and continued to laugh. "I'm sorry. . . I'm sorry, It's just. . . I can't tell if you're joking or not."
Xavier grew more sad. "I'm not, Kennedy." He said quietly.
She slowly stopped laughing when she realized he wasn't laughing. He was serious. He was breaking up with her. "What?"
He moved closer to her and squeezed her hands. "I love you, Ken. I love you so much. But. . . we're not good for each other. You have to see that."
Kennedy shook her head, still not believing him. "No, that's not true—"
"We're both not in the right place to be together, Kenny. You have to know that. We. . . We fight so much and we say that we're fine at the end of the day but the truth it, we're not. We're horrible to each other."
Her eyes filled with tears. "Xavier, wait—"
"I'm not doing this because I'm giving up," he continued and his own eyes started to water. "I would never give up on you. It's just. . . lately I've been thinking about this a lot and today — we both said horrible things to each other that we know we can't take back. It's been going on for too long, Kennedy. It's not healthy for either of us."
She looked down at their hands and the tears started to fall. Her heart was starting to break. This was her fault. "I didn't mean to say those things to you," she whispered.
"Hey, hey," he spoke softly and lifted her head back up. "It's not your fault. It's not either of our faults. We have things going on in our heads that don't want us to be together. They tell us things to bring us down. How can we love and take care of each other if we can't take care of ourselves?"
Kennedy knew he was right, but it didn't make it hurt any less. Her lip started to quiver. "Please don't do this." She pleaded.
Xavier was her first love. Her first boyfriend. Her first kiss. Her first everything. She loved him. He had been her rock for so many years. He was one of the only people that kept her sane and she still treated him horribly. She hated herself for it. "I love you," she said and her voice cracked.
"I know you do," he said quietly and nodded. "And I love you. But that's not enough. At least for right now. We just. . . we can't keep doing this and expect everything to be perfect again at the end of the day. It's not healthy. It's going to keep hurting us and I don't want to hurt you. I've been hurting you for so long and I hate myself for it."
She stared at him like the world was crumbling around them. "S-So this is it? We're breaking up?" She stuttered.
He could barely look her in the eye because it hurt too much. "Please don't hate me, Kennedy."
"I could never," she breathed out and shook her head. "I could never hate you, Xavier. I'm so sorry for treating you the way I do."
"I'm sorry for treating you the way I do." He squeezed her hands once more. "Maybe one day, when we're both okay again, we'll find our way back to each other."
He spoke like they lived in a fairytale, like their love was so strong that it wasn't over for them. But Kennedy knew better. She knew he didn't want her anymore. It was only a matter of time before he ended things. But her heart was so shattered that she couldn't be mad at him. She just wanted to go back home. She wanted her father. She sniffled. "I'm sorry."
Xavier kissed her hand. "I'm sorry."