Bakugou paused, his calm and content expression turning stone cold. He watched as the timid motherfucker walked off with a blond bastard, a pair he had seen too frequently at lunch. He was tempted to stay in the shadows, but Eijirou had looked at his watch and mumbled something to himself.
"Maybe if I run I can make the end of the game?"
"We finished half an hour ago." Bakugou walked into the glow the motion censored lamps gave off, startling Kirishima who had to think for a moment to process what he just heard.
"Oh man, hey Katsuki," his voice trembled as he scratched the back of his neck, an apologetic smile twisting his lips, "uhm, did you have fun?"
"Pikachu was screaming the whole time, plain face about shít his pants," Katsuki brushed past him, entering the double doors. Kirishima followed him.
"Uhm, what'd you do afterwards?"
"I left, there was nothing else to do."
"Then...why are you coming back so late?"
"...I took a walk." Katsuki pressed the elevator button, wanting to shove Eijirou in the wall and make him feel guilty for bailing on him. He was mad at him, livid almost, that he'd abandon him for some stupid project that wasn't even due until next week. He doubted that timid ass punk was so busy that today was his only day free.
"You do cardio at the weirdest times."
"Did you get whatever shit you had to do done?" Katsuki snapped, not looking back as the elevator opened. Kirishima happily hopped inside and leaned against the wall opposite of him as Katsuki pressed the button.
"Oh man, it was such a blast!" Kirishima began to describe what he had worked on with Tamaki in extreme detail, saying how they did a survey outside of campus, asking people how well they ate and how often they exercised. Apparently Tamaki was in Food Science, and had actually requested Kirishima to help him conduct a survey to determine a correlation between foods and exercise since he was in Physical Education.
"Although I'm planning to become a physical therapist instead of a P.E teacher, I feel like learning various habits of people will help me understand my future patients, you know?"
Katsuki froze as he leaned against his dormitory door. He had never really asked anything about what exactly Kirishima was studying, so this was the first time hearing about his pursuit in becoming a physical therapist. He was so great with children he strongly assumed he'd be a primary school P.E teacher or something.
Katsuki contemplated in silence, glaring at the ground with his arms crossed and his back against the door. The silence filled the hallway, and it was absolutely suffocating.
"...you're mad at me, aren't you?"
"Oh no, why would I be fucking mad at you?"
"Oh please, you've been acting cold and sarcastic this whole time!" Kirishima sighed and dragged his hand down the side of his neck. "I'm sorry okay? I just wanted to get it over with as soon as possible and Tamaki asked if we could do it today. I didn't think you guys would be mad."
"I'm the only one that's mad, shitty hair," Katsuki informed, causing Eijirou to raise his brows. "Spider-Man and Pikachu don't fuckin' care."
"Then...why...?" Kirishima was confused. Katsuki felt like he was going to snap in half like a twig if he tensed up anymore.
"..." Katsuki could only stare at him. He couldn't concoct the words to explain why he was—no, what he was feeling. He couldn't tell him he hated when he was around other people and that he should only hang out with him; he couldn't be angry at him for having his own thoughts and feelings outside of their friendship; he couldn't yell at him for having a life and friends that had nothing to do with him. That was too cruel and unjust.
"Why are you mad at me?" Kirishima was beginning to get frustrated, "I can't make it up to you if I don't know why you're mad at me."
"You don't need to make it up to me, shithead," Katsuki replied, squatting down and scratching his head harshly with both of his hands. "I just feel like being an asshole."
"That's unfair bro," Eijirou whined, and sat himself in front of Katsuki, crossing his legs. Bakugou slid back and sat down as well, his knees pinning him against the door. His arms wrapped around his thighs.
"Well, people are unfair sometimes."
Kirishima frowned at that.
"I...I can never tell what you're thinking at all sometimes." Eijirou rocked back, holding his ankles to keep balance. "Can I be honest with you for a minute?"
"You're always honest so I don't know why you're asking something so stupid."
"Fair," Kirishima gazed at him, the sudden eye-contact sending shivers down Katsuki's spine. He wanted so badly to look away but wanted to give Eijirou his full attention because this seemed to be an important moment for him.
"Katsuki, it's really frustrating for me when you, like, act like you're opening up to me and then push me away so suddenly. I know you have trust issues and shit, but haven't I proved myself over an over that I have no malicious intentions towards you? That I would never hurt you on purpose? I know I fucked up that one time, so I'm saying all of this cuz I don't wanna fuck up like that again and hurt you," Kirishima's pupils shook as he looked at him with pleading eyes, "Katsuki, please, stop pushing me away and just tell me what's on your mind instead of bottling it up until you explode."
Bakugou stared at him with heavy eyes. His mental energy was already completely depleted and his heart was left unguarded to Eijirou's words. He wanted to tell him. He wanted to tell him so badly how much he loved him, and the jealousy that drowned him every time he smiled at someone else; how he drew him tirelessly for hours upon hours just because his dumb face haunted his dreams; how he wanted to pin him against the wall whenever he wore one of his tight fitted muscle shirts and kiss him when he was proud of himself for something so stupid; how subtle and accidental eye contact from across the room makes his heart pound in his chest and how every time Eijirou compliments him in any way sends him to orbit; how he wanted Eijirou to look at him and only him and no one else; how much he needed him as much as plants needed the sun.
No matter how many times he opened his mouth to speak, the words always choked up in his throat. Only strangled grunts came out, he forgot how to speak and it was killing him ever so softly.
His mind wandered back to that peace he felt under the stars, and how he thought it was strange how euphoric and relieved he felt as he stared up at the night sky. He tried to reclaim that emotion, thinking that maybe, just maybe, if he asked the universe carry his burden again he would be able to break free from the weight of his feelings just long enough to tell Eijirou how much he loved him.
He was startled out of his concentration when he felt a gentle hand on the right side of his face.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry," he said softly, wiping away a tear with his thumb. Katsuki didn't even realize the motion sensors had turned off the lights in the hallway, so it was dark, and he definitely didn't know he was crying and felt humiliated for looking so weak.
However, he didn't feel the need to push him away. Kirishima had already seen him cry once, and told him he was always going to be there no matter what. That comforting sentence stuck to him like glue.
He noticed how careful Eijirou was to give him space, as his arm was held straight out and he was craning to reach him and Katsuki could feel his arm shaking through his touch.
He hesitated to lower his knees, but did so anyway until he was matching Eijirou's legs and pushed on the ground with his left hand. He closed his eyes and leaned into the warm touch Eijirou was giving him.
"You look tired," Kirishima observed, "Ah, I'm sorry for keeping you up so late." He started to pull away with a sheepish smile, but Katsuki snatched his wrist, making Kirishima flinch, and glared at him. He didn't want him to stop, he didn't want the warmth to go away. He felt so safe, so secure, and was finally gaining enough courage to speak.
However, he felt damned when he saw Kirishima's face bloom with colour. It was such a beautiful expression full of emotion that Katsuki couldn't quite place. His eyes were shining under the shitty lamplights that illuminated golden through the windows and bounced off the walls behind him, and seemed to be violet in the shadows. It was so unbelievably obvious how flustered he was at this simple action. Katsuki couldn't help but find it adorable and was almost about to blush at the sight.
"Uhm—uh—hmm..." Kirishima stammered, looking at him with wide eyes. Katsuki softened his expression and pressed his lips in a thin line, a habit that showed up whenever he was truly happy, and only ever appeared in front of others. He relaxed his grip and let his wrist fall out of his hand, proceeding to push himself up.
"I'm going to bed."
He didn't wait for a response, and quickly retreated into his room. He locked the door behind him, leaning up against it in silence. He stayed there, hearing Eijirou stand up with a groan, and didn't move until he heard his footsteps disappear and his door close.
'Eijirou,' he thought, tilting his head back with a thump.
"You're heart was beating really fast."
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