You rode in the ambulance with Kenny, your body wracked with sobs. The EMTs were kind and said that everything would be fine, but you knew it wouldn't be. CPR didn't work. Tubes didn't work. Stuffing the wound up didn't work.
He was pronounced dead in the hospital, because apparently it was not allowed for him to be pronounced in the convention center. But you knew the truth.
You haven't left your room in days, filled with guilt and sorrow for losing your friend. He loved you so much that he would die for you. And he died a painful death. You don't know how many hours of the day you spend crying, but it's enough to fill your trashcan all the way with tissues filled with your tears and snot.
Bradley would come into your room sometimes, cradling you just as a good brother would. He would soothe your hair and whisper that it wasn't your fault, but you knew better. You knew he was feeling sad about Kenny's death, too. He was only trying to be strong for your sake. You could hear him crying in his room sometimes.
Your mom, when she wasn't at work, would try her best to comfort you as well. You would cry on her shoulder and she would tell you how she's lost a friend as well... that it's not easy, but you get better eventually. Maybe she was trying to give you hope, but you think that you will never get over Kenny.
He was funny and kind and he always made you smile. He was so sweet to you, so concerned for your well being even if you felt like you didn't deserve it. He died protecting you. Maybe if you hadn't been so reckless, then maybe he would have still lived. You beat yourself up at every waking moment about it.
But everyone seemed to forget about it eventually. You never did.
You got a message from Stan one day. Reluctantly, you opened the message and you furrowed your brows at the sight of what he said. "(Y/n), you haven't been talking much. Are you alright?"
What does he mean, 'are you alright?!' Just yesterday, he was messaging the group chat about how torn up he was about Kenny's death. What the hell happened to that?! You switched to the group chat, frowning deeply, but...
The messages from the last couple of days disappeared. What the fuck is going on?
The pictures from the convention are gone. No one is even talking about Bigi being there. It's as if that day was erased from not only the guys' memories, but from the universe as well. But if that's the case, why do you still remember? Perhaps you were just made to be punished...?
You throw your phone onto the carpet and lay back down, staring at the ceiling. You're so tired that you can't even cry. Your eyes are dry and they hurt, you have a raging headache and you haven't been getting shit for sleep. You just... need peace and quiet... you want everything to go back to what it once was.
You finally shut your eyes, and the moment you do, you've passed out.
~
"Ah, (Y/n). Good to see you again!" The familiar voice of Chef greets you in your slumber. You're back in the school's cafeteria, right where he would serve the kids lunch. "Man, you look rough. Did something happen?" He asks, his expression filled with concern.
"Kenny's dead," you tell him, your voice barely above a whisper. "And it's all my fault."
"Dead?" The fellow blinks before letting out a soft chuckle. "Oh, honey. That happens all the time. C'mere."
You don't know what he means by "it happens all the time," but you walk towards him. He picks you up easily and sets you on the counter. You sort of forgot that when you're in this realm, you're back to being ten, and not a teenager. You wipe the tears that are forming in your eyes, biting down on your bottom lip.
"Let's not do any of that, (Y/n). I'll explain everything to you, and everything will turn out right." He takes his thumb and wipes off a stray tear from your cheek, smiling kindly at you. "So, allow me to explain. Kenny has something special, something that you and I and everyone else do not have. When I was still alive, he would be killed in a variety of ways. But he always came back. It was almost like the universe reset itself and, after a few days, everyone would forget about it. And he'd come back."
"If that's the case, then why do you remember it now?" You ask softly.
"Well, the forgetting stops when you're not there to actually witness it. As someone who's dead, I'm immune to anything that happens in the living world. So I now know what everyone knows. It seems that the only person that remembers, other than you now, is Cartman. It seems like it just doesn't faze him anymore. Maybe it never did."
So... he's alive again? Alive and well? Without thinking, you hug Chef, wrapping your arms around him as much as you can, your face in his shirt.
"Whoa, kid! Don't get too mushy on me now." He ruffles your hair. When you peek up at him, he grins at you. "Now, I think it's time that you wake up. I think something is waiting for you when you come back to reality."
"Thank you so much, Chef...!"
~
You wake up to your mother knocking on your door. "Pumpkin? I know you haven't been feeling too good, but there's someone at the door for you." The looming tone in her voice that let you know that she knew you were grieving, not just feeling bad is gone. You guess Chef was really right about everyone forgetting...
You trudge out of your room, rubbing the sleepiness from your eyes. You walk down the stairs and to the living room, where a certain someone sits on your couch.
There he is, in all his glory. His eyes are full of life again, his messy hair framing his face. His skin... it's back to its original color, not the hauntingly gray kind that you saw that day. You have to stop yourself from breaking down in tears immediately. You walk in front of him, your heart hammering against your chest as you speak.
"Hey, Kenny."
He gazes at you for a moment, the look in his eyes... is almost disappointed. But it's gone as quickly as it comes. He smiles at you, standing up as he shoves his hands in his soft yellow hoodie's pockets. "Hey, (Y/n). I heard you weren't feeling good. Everyone's worried about you, y'know?"
"Yeah. I bet I look like shit, too," you chuckle sheepishly.
"You always look great to me. Even like this," he gently reminds you, something that makes you smile a bit. He's always been the type to compliment you... "Why don't you lead the way to your room, huh? I missed how comfortable your bed is."
"Yeah... that's a good idea."
He flops onto your bed when he gets close enough, sighing happily at the feeling of your soft comforter around him. You sit next to him, your hands in your lap as you stare at him.
He's real. He's real and alive... but you can't forget how awful he looked when you saw the life being drained from him.
Poor Kenny...
Your Kenny.
"What're you looking at me like that for? Don't tell me that you—"
"I know what happened," you interrupted. You look away from him, your fists clenched in your lap. Tears begin to well up in your eyes. "And it was all my fault. If I hadn't been stupid enough to not even notice that that pervert had a knife, then you... you would have been fine." Your voice shakes as you finally begin to sob. "I held you as you died, Kenny. I saw the life snuffed out from you. Seeing the light leave your eyes... it was worse than any of the torture I have went through. I don't care what happens to me, I don't give a shit. But you... I can't believe I let you die for someone as useless as me."
"Y-You're not useless at all!" He stammers, reaching out so he can wipe the tears from your eyes. He looks... almost shocked that you even remember. Chef told you that no one other than Cartman could retain this information... that is, before you. "(Y/n), it stung like a bitch and I'm not going to lie to you about that. But it... it's not the worst I've ever suffered! I-I would die for you again and again in a heartbeat! Because..." A blush spreads onto his cheeks, something that is a bit odd considering how flirty he usually is. He hangs his head slightly. "I... Don't make me say it again. I know you remember what I said..."
Your heart flutters against your chest, and you lean forward, capturing him in your arms. You hold him close and tight, your face in the crook of his neck. After a moment, he hugs you back.
"I want nothing more than to be forever by your side, (Y/n)," he says softly, almost as though he's feeling bashful. It's like he's completely forgotten about how many times he's made passes at you. He pets your hair as he continues to speak. "Everyone feels this way about you. None of us are safe from you. But I wouldn't change it... I don't even mind sharing you if you'll have me."
He leans away, bringing his hands to your cheeks and guiding you to look at him in the eyes. You feel like the air has been taken from your lungs. "So please... tell me that you love me too...?"
"I... I do..."
A sweet smile graces his features, and he leans in. His soft lips brush against your own, even for just a moment, in a chaste kiss. It's sweet and soft, just like you had imagined your first kiss. You bet your face is a million shades of red right now, but you don't care. You're here and you're with him... what more could you want?
You grin stupidly at each other for a moment before bursting into giggles. "Now, what's that feel good anime you were talking about? I've been wanting to watch it with you."
"Silver Spoon!" You gasp before scrambling to get to your computer. "It's so cute, Ken, you don't even know!"
"It must be if you're getting so excited about it." He tilts his head to the side a bit, a smile toying upon his lips. "Or are you excited to spend time with your new boyfriend, huh?"
"Yes to both!" You exclaim without thinking. You miss the way he hides his face a bit in his hoodie from your answer.
After a couple of episodes of Silver Spoon, you're fast asleep in his arms. He looks down at you, sleeping so soundly. He tucks a piece of your hair away from your face, a sigh leaving his lips. He knows that you were worrying yourself sick prior to his visit... Perhaps he should have told you about his "condition" before something like that happened. It hadn't happened in a while, though.
He reaches over your pretty little head and shuts the lid of your computer before laying back down on his back. You looked so pretty, cuddled against his chest like this... God, he would kill to keep you safe... and he has, but he would do it a million times again.
He presses a kiss to your forehead and slowly closes his eyes.
The guys are going to be royally pissed when they find out that he got to you first. Maybe one of them will kick him in his nuts, but at this moment, he can't even bring himself to care in the slightest. He's with you, after all...
His (Y/n).