tw:violence
June 13, 2022
I've been a bit tense lately. It's been three days since I saw Cassie. I feel bad for the way acted, but I've had some work stresses I've been dealing with and she caught me at a bad time. I knew it wasn't a good idea to go up there when she asked, but I really thought we could just peacefully smoke and I'd walk out of there with my hands clean. But she could just be so god damn infuriating.
She doesn't know me. She thinks she has me figured out but she doesn't have the slightest clue. I don't get why Zayn is so into her. All he's done for the last three days is talk about his little date. How funny and charming she is and how if I just gave her a chance we could be friends. Fuck that. I don't need her as a friend or any other friends for that matter. I have enough shit to deal with.
"I don't know anything! And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you motherfuckers!"
Like this asshole.
Jim is back from his trip and apparently we have a traitor under our nose working in the basement operation. Exposing our secrets to the competition. Jim doesn't take well to traitors.
Jim takes his gun and smacks the man who's tied up in a chair in an empty back room across the face with it. "You think you have friends here. You think the people around you have your back. But the only loyalty you should have with anyone here, is me. And that goes for everyone here. Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way. Which would you like?"
The man spits at Jim as Zayn while I stand leaning against the wall behind him, waiting for our cue to step in. Jim makes us to the dirty work when it's needed. Which is fine by me.
"Alright, the hard way. Got it. Zayn? Harry?" Jim motions to us.
"Don't mind if I do Jimmy!" Zayn excitedly says as he steps up to walk around the pathetic man.
Jim rolls his eyes and heads for the door. "Whatever, I have shit to do upstairs. I trust you guys. I know he won't talk but make him pay for what he did."
"Alright," I start, stepping forward and clapping my hands together. "We're gonna make this quick, either you tell us now who the fuck else you're working for, or I'm going to start breaking every individual finger and toe on your body. And then I'll move to your wrists and ankles. Then I'll move to your legs and arms. You get the idea. So who the fuck are you reporting to?"
"Fuck you," he spits. "Why don't you tell me who ratted me out in this place? Huh? Why aren't you going after the snitch?"
"Ah ah ah. I ask the questions here. I'll give you one more chance. Who. Are. You. Working. For." I tilt my head to the side, extending my arms out to crack my knuckles.
"I'm not working for anyone! I didn't tell anyone shit! Please, just let me go. I promise I'll walk away and you'll never see or hear from me again. I'll leave the country if I have to. Just... please! I have a pregnant wife at home!" He begs, tears forming in his eyes.
"Then do enlighten me on how you lost over three million dollars in cocaine? You came back completely empty handed, and then we hear from our insider that our competition in Arizona's profits went up over 200% in one weekend? Yeah fucking right," I scoff.
"God I fucking hate when they beg," Zayn looks at me from behind the guy's chair. "So annoying. You knew what you were getting into when you signed up for this. No one forced you to do anything. So now you get to reap the consequences."
"Zayn, would you like to do the honors?" I gesture to him.
"Thanks brother. I'm going to duct tape his mouth shut, I can't think when they're screaming."
Zayn starts by breaking the man's fingers on his left hand, while I stand with my gun out, really just trying to look intimidating.
"You coming to Eddie's tonight?" Zayn asks me, as the man squirms in his seat in front of us.
"Is she going to be there?" I roll my eyes.
"Cassie? Yeah man, I still don't get what your deal is with her."
"She's annoying."
"You comin or not? Who cares if she's there? You can ignore her the whole time for all I care, Gianna and Joey will be there too." He begs me.
"We'll see. You fuck her yet?" I ask casually as I step in take over the job for Zayn.
"Nah, trying but she's been hesitant. I can be patient," he winks.
After three long hours of breaking every bone in this scum's body, he's finally a fucking crumpled dead mess on the floor. Once we're sure he's kicked the bucket, Zayn opens the door to the back room and steps out, leaving the door open. He sticks two fingers in his mouth to whistle loudly at the other basement distributors, all covered in hazmat suits.
"All of you, over here, now!" Zayn yells. The workers pile in front of the door, their eyes widening at the scene. The room is soundproof, so they definitely didn't hear the commotion going on. Some of these people have seen some shit, considering we typically hire ex prisoners who either don't care if they go back or have experience already in this line of work. Some of them are just people down on their luck, unable to get a real job for one reason or another, so we take them in and pay cash under the table. Jim will usually forge documents if they ever need anything to provide proof of employment to help them get housing, food, etc.
It's actually a really nice program we got going on, if you can get past the whole illegal thing.
"Listen up!" Zayn gets their attention again as they start whispering and and crowding around closer to the door. "Let this be an example. If we catch any of you pulling any shady shit, this will look like a walk in a fucking flower field compared to what we'll do to you. Are we clear?"
The group is silent, staring back at us with open mouths, some slowly taking steps back in fear.
"I said, are we clear?" Zayn says through his teeth.
They break out to a chorus of "yes" and "yes sir's" quickly.
"Fantastic! Now get back to work, we have a lot of shit to make up for after this asshole put us in the hole," Zayn snaps at them, shooing them away.
The rest of the day passed by uneventfully as usual and Jim said he was going to let us leave early, but here we are two hours after closing finishing paperwork because Jim had to meet with a client at the last minute. Zayn is working upstairs multitasking to finish some basic closing things and I'm down in the basement with one others distributor still here, taking inventory of our supply.
I don't give a fuck how much Zayn begs. I am not going to the bar tonight. Cassie's friends are cool or whatever, but after today I am really not in the mood to play nice. And I know no matter how much we ignore each other, before the night is over we will be at each others throats.
I hear the door open on top of the narrow staircase and I assume it's Zayn, but when I listen for the footsteps they sound awfully light and slow. Zayn normally just comes busting through the door and lets it slam. Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me.
"Hello? Zayn?" A woman's voice calls out, the sound getting closer with every step,
Immediately I'm panicking. Who the fuck is down here? Maybe it's a distributor I don't know?
I quickly turn around to see the god damn pink head of hair come into view. Her eyes are wide staring at the millions of dollars in cocaine lining the walls, the chemicals, the hazmat suits hung up. She looks around with her fake looking blue eyes in awe, and I can't tell if she's scared or excited by the look in her eye.
"Cassie what the fuck!" I jump into her view, trying to shield her from the view behind me, even though I know it's too late.
She looks me up and down and then back over my shoulder. "You're not Zayn..."
"Oh really? No shit. Zayn is upstairs. Holy fuck you've seen way too much," I look behind me to the distributor still here, who's just watching with an amused look on his face. "Yo- can you keep an eye on her here? I need to get Zayn."
"No problem, boss." He steps over to Cassie who looks like she's stuck to her spot, still looking at the walls with wide eyes. As I run up the stairs, I hear the distributor rustling in his suit and immediately Cassie screams.
"Please don't hurt—" I get to the top and open and shut the door as quickly as possible, cutting off her pleads.
I search the store for Zayn, finally finding him in the break room, wiping down counters.
"We have a real fucking problem," I say, slamming my hand down on one of the tables.
"Oh yeah? We missing supply?" He replies absentmindedly.
"Cassie's here."
"Oh good, I told her to meet me here! Where is she—"
"She's downstairs."
Zayn immediately stops what he's doing and finally looks at me. "Like, downstairs downstairs?"
"Yeah, man. She's literally in the fucking basement with Jonah holding a gun to her head probably, waiting for us to come back. What the fuck do we do?" I clench my jaw and run my hand through my hair. Jim still hasn't even found out about the lamp situation with her, and now this? Now he's really going to kill me.
"I mean it's simple, we just threaten to kill her if she rats. It's probably not hard to figure out we have connections, she'd believe us. I'm sure Jim wouldn't hesitate to have someone make it look like an accident if he needed to. It's fine. We're cool." Zayn is always so relaxed about everything, but I honestly think he's just so full of himself that he doesn't think it's possible to fail.
"Looks like it's over for you two. Bummer," I give him a fake sad look.
"Maybe not," he grins at me. "Maybe she's into that."
"Keep dreaming."
We get to the basement and as soon as I open the door I can hear quiet crying coming from Cassie. As we get into view, I see her crouched on the ground with Jonah next to her, holding a gun to her head as suspected and gripping her arm.
"Well you didn't need to do all that," Zayn points out, leaning against the wall next to him.
"Let go of her arm, would you? She's not fucking going anywhere," I snap at him, walking closer to their spot in the room. Jonah let's go of her and pulls the gun away from her head, putting it back in its spot in his suit and stepping away from us.
"I'll be finishing up... somewhere else," he backs away and disappears around a corner to the right of us.
I continue moving forward until I'm right in front of Cassie and I crouch down to get to her eye level.
"I- I'm sorry. Pl- please don't k-k-kill me," Cassie whispers, sniffling and trying to catch her breath.
"Listen real closely because I do not repeat myself. You didn't see anything. You know absolutely nothing. And if you do know anything, then I'm going to have to kill you. If you saw what I did to a guy who fucked us over just a few hours ago, you'd really consider your next move," I growl at her, making her flinch at every enunciated word. I lift up my shirt to show my gun in my waistband, making her breath speed up as she looks down with her eyes, keeping her head straight like she was scared to make any sudden moves.
"I didn't see anything. I don't kn-know anything," she pleads at me. She looks over my shoulder to look at Zayn I assume with a look of betrayal on her face.
"Good. Now I presume your little hangout has been cancelled tonight?" I stand up and look back at Zayn, who gives me a look that says really?
I look back down at Cassie and raise my eyebrows and she quickly nods yes. I put my hand out for her to take it so I can help her up, but she looks at it and stands up on her own, wiping under her eyes.
"I'm sorry Cassie. You can still call me though," Zayn smirks at her.
"Yeah, yeah. Okay. Um, can I leave?" She says quietly.
"Yes, on one condition," I say. "I'm walking you home."
"But- but why?" She asks timidly.
"Not too sure if I trust you just yet. It's not like I didn't already know where you live," I wink at her.
"Fuck. I'm so fucking stupid," she puts her head in her hand, running it through her hair and staring down at the floor.
"Let's go, pink haired girl."
She snaps her head up at my nickname for her and then quickly looks away.
"I'm sorry it had to be this way Cass. I never wanted to hurt you, believe that. You're a good person," Zayn says from the side, and I almost feel bad for him. Almost.
I walk towards the staircase and I hear Cassie following me with Zayn trailing behind her, opening the door at the top for the two of them to step through.
Cassie doesn't even look like herself. She looks like a zombie walking through the store to the front door with me, with her hair all messed up and makeup running down her cheeks from crying. I toss Zayn the store keys and let him know I'll call him and follow Cassie into the evening air. For the first part of the walk to her place it's silent, with nothing but the city traffic and the sounds of our shoes scuffling on the sidewalk. Cassie is staring intently at the ground in front of her, not looking at me once.
"Are you scared?" I say to her breaking the silence between us.
She doesn't answer at first, and I start to wonder if she's going to say anything at all. I see her wipe under eyes still staring at the ground. After what feel like forever she finally says, "No."
"Why not?"
"It's not the first time a gun has been held to my head," she responds so quietly, I'm not sure if that's what she even said.
"It's not?"
"No, and I don't want to talk about it. Please, just let me go home. I promise you will never see or hear from me ever again," she promises.
We stop in front of her building and I notice the bar is starting to pick up more as the night rolls in, even on a Thursday it's pretty lively for the summer. She starts to walk up the metal staircase and I follow closely behind her. She stops at the door to go inside and turns around to look at me for the first time since we've started walking.
"What are you doing?" She asks, sniffling and wiping her eyes again.
"Walking you inside. You're not in a good state of mind. I just want to make sure you get inside safely," I tell her honestly.
"Why do you care?" She snaps, turning back around to open the door. I quickly catch it before it shuts and speed walk up behind her.
"Because. I'm not completely heartless. I know this shit is heavy, and now you're kind of involved. I know it's a lot to process. Let me inside at least to make you some coffee or tea and I'll be out of your life for good. I promise, no arguing tonight." I put my hands up in surrender. She may not be my favorite person but I remember the first time someone pulled a gun on me. I was only fourteen, but still. If she's already gone through something similar, it could make it worse after everything that's happened in the last hour. I genuinely want to make sure she is okay.
"Fine, whatever. Thanks," she says unlocking her front door and stepping to the side to let me in. "I don't have tea, but coffee would be great. Everything is out on the counter by the stove. You can make yourself some too, if you want."
"Bluetooth connected. Now playing Santeria by Sublime."
The song starts playing and I vaguely remember hearing this song somewhere at some point. I hear her switch the music off quickly and I watch her walk over to her couch and gently set her bag down and kick off her shoes. She sits down on the couch and stares off at the space in front of her. I snap out of it and go into her kitchen to start the coffee, not really sure of what I'm doing because I don't drink coffee unless it has more creamer than coffee in it.
How the fuck do I use this thing?
I don't want her to think I don't know how to use a coffee maker, so I pull out my phone and quickly google the instruction manual for the model of her coffee pot. Once I get the coffee going, I start rummaging through her cabinets and fridge, hoping she has something I can put in mine to take away the bitterness. I know it's very obvious that I'm looking through her kitchen and I expected a comment to come from her but she's been silent the entire time.
I know she said she wasn't scared, but I'm wondering if she's just putting up a front. When I'm dealing with that side of the business, it's like I have to flip a switch inside of me. A switch that makes me heartless and cold. Cassie saw that side of me. Even bigger than that, she saw everything in that basement. Who knows what's going through her head right now. And to top it off, Jonah held a fucking gun to her head.
I wouldn't blame her if she was scared shitless right now.
I find sugar and some oat milk in the fridge hoping this is enough for me to stomach.
"Uh, how do you like your coffee?" I call out.
"Just black is fine," she says quietly without turning around.
I pour the two cups and add everything in mine, carefully walking over to the couch. I sit down on the opposite side since it's not a big couch and for once my intention is not to make her feel uncomfortable. She takes the mug from my hand and quietly sips it next to me with me doing the same.
"Does your music play every time you walk in?" I ask her.
"Yeah," she answers shortly.
"I just want to know what you're thinking. You've been very quiet, and for the short time I've known you, you haven't ever been quiet," I laugh awkwardly, hoping she'll just flip a switch and go back to calling me an asshole or something.
"I've tried so hard to just stay under the radar. Just go to work, pay my bills, and have fun with the people around me while I'm in one place. I just feel so fucking stupid. This would be my luck," she sighs, looking up at me.
"As long as you know how to keep your mouth shut, you'll be fine," I tell her. I don't know how Jim is going to react, but what I do know is that she'll live if she doesn't try to rat out our operation.
"It's just brought on some familiar... uncomfortable feelings. I'll be okay, really. You don't have to worry about me. Zayn and I are done, I'll move on and you guys can too." She pauses and sets her mug down on the ground by her feet, considering she doesn't have a coffee table. Her next sentence is spoken just above a whisper as she stares down at her hands. "I have secrets that would get me in trouble too if anyone found out. I understand."
"What secrets?" I gag down the rest of my coffee, resisting the urge to make a face and set the mug down by my feet, like she did.
"Now it wouldn't be secret if I told you, would it?" She grins at me. There she is.
"Let me take your mug and then I'll be out of your hair. Just remember what I said," I warn her.
She doesn't say anything back, just nods at me and hands me her mug and I walk them back to the sink, rinsing them out and leaving them there. I notice she has a small notepad and pen I'm assuming for a grocery list stuck to her fridge. In a spur of the moment decision, I write my phone number down with the a note that says In case you need anything. -H.
I quietly leave and run my hands through my hair after shutting the door. I don't think she'll actually use my number, but it's there if she needs it. There's a feeling in my stomach that I only get when I have to do Jim's dirty work, a feeling that I still haven't been able to pinpoint, but I do know that it fucking sucks.
June 22nd, 2022
"No one has heard from Cassie since last week," Zayn tells me at work. It has been exactly a week since I last saw Cassie. She never reached out and I've just assumed she was fine.
"How do you know?" I ask him as I place a moth in a resin mold.
"Well I wanted to check on her so I texted and called her but she didn't answer. I figured out where she worked and found Gianna, neither her or Joey have heard from her. She called out of work for every shift she had over the weekend. The three of us went to her apartment last night and there was no answer. I'm worried about her." He does look genuinely worried, and I suddenly feel myself getting worried.
What if something happened? What if that interaction messed her up more than she wanted to admit? She doesn't really know anyone here. As far as I'm aware, she's barely even lived in this city for over a month. She mentioned something about that not being the first time someone pulled a gun on her.
Fuck, why do I even care? This is not my problem to worry about.
"So what would you like to me to do about it exactly?"
"Man, I don't know. Go to her apartment, see if she answers for you. Wait for her at Eddie's. Something. I just need to know she's okay," he responds genuinely.
"You think Jim got to her?" I keep my voice casual, trying not to admit I'm panicking on the inside.
"Jim isn't making any decisions on her until he runs a full background check, mate. Should I try her apartment again?" He taps his fingers nervously on my desk and bites his lip in thought.
At this point all Cassie is to me is a random girl I've traumatized, and that's just a typical Tuesday night for me as it is. I feel like I've got a teeny tiny angel on my shoulder telling me to do something, but the much bigger and stronger devil on the other side is telling me to mind by business and move on.
"Honestly? Do what you want. Not my problem."
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two chapters in one week!! go me!!
i know it's not much but i'm v excited over the almost 60 reads, i'm glad even one person has taken time out of their life to give it a chance. i'm so excited to share all the ideas that i have, this has been a great outlet. thanks for reading <3