"Alex?"
"Can we talk? I can talk to you, right? That is an option?" Alex says, feeling extremely nervous as she showed up on Amari's doorstep.
"Of course you can talk to me," Amari smiles, opening the door wider.
"It's just, I'm feeling overwhelmed a lot of stuff is coming out and I think I want to talk but Pol and I are in a weird place, and she's annoyed at me - I know I can still speak to her, obviously, she's Polly, but-"
"You don't need an excuse to talk to me, Lex," Amari states, "let's go upstairs, downstairs is crowded."
Alex follows Amari up the stairs to her room. She found this weird. She'd never been in a woman's room where it hadn't ended in something sexual.
"Make yourself comfortable," Amari says, and Alex looks around the room, before sitting at the edge of her bed. Amari's room was neat, and bursting with colour and life - the total opposite of her own, which was bland, almost as if it was uninhabited.
Oddly, she felt extremely comfortable in this room. Just her and Amari. It felt like she could talk about anything. The room was inviting conversation.
"My dad is back in town," Alex tells her, "everything is a mess."
"Because of him?"
"No, he is just a factor, Ada refuses to speak to any of us since Freddie got arrested, everyone is blaming Tommy," Alex says, "but now Arthur is mad at me for not giving my dad a chance to fix his 'mistakes'."
"You don't think whatever he did was a mistake," Amari states.
"Can beating your daughter be a mistake?" Alex remarks, "almost killing her and only stopping when your sister pulls a gun on you. No, nothing he did can constitute as a mistake. I already can't sleep - him being back won't help,"
Everything was coming out. There was no distinguishing between her thoughts and her words. Anything that came into her head, came out as coherent words for a patiently sat Amari to hear.
Her friend, Amari. She'd never had a friend before. It was nice to have somebody to talk to that wasn't family. When she spoke to family it felt like it had to be about the business.
"Why can't you sleep?"
"You won't tell anyone anything I'm telling you, right?" Alex asks, and she shakes her head, "of course I won't, whatever you say is strictly between us and these four walls."
When she imagined Alexandria Shelby being in her bed, this is certainly not what she had in mind. Yes, that would've felt good. But Alex viewing her as a safe space felt infinitely better.
"I have two recurring memories about the war, one Polly knows about," Alex states, "the other I haven't told a soul."
"I was a prisoner," Alex tells her, "after the boys and I were separate, I was with Bentley. But then we got split up. He was transferred and he thinks I was too, I didn't have the heart to tell him."
"The memories are interconnected. The first is when we were attacked in our trench, Bentley was there then, he took me to the infirmary. After that, the trench was declared unsafe, Bentley continued with the platoon, I was placed in the infirmary of a different regiment," Alex explains, "there was a raid, and I was still recovering, they'd given me opium to knock me out."
"Some Hungarian troops found me," Alex tells her, "for a month I was kept chained up in a room a quarter the size of the back room in the Garrison. And most nights, when I try to sleep, I imagine I'm back there. Being whipped, and starved."
"I don't know why I never told anyone - and I don't know why it's you that is the first to know, just you got in my head about not talking, and I didn't want you to worry about me," Alex says.
"I'm proud of you, Lex," Amari states, "I know you don't find talking easy."
Alex didn't want to admit it. But talking to Amari was actually one of the easiest things for her to do. And telling her did make it feel better. Maybe it was that Amari slightly understood why she was how was.
"Thank you... for listening," Alex says.
"Don't think of my next actions as pity," Amari tells her, "I just really think you need a hug."
-
"I thought I'd find you here," Arthur senior states.
Alex was stood leaning against the bar, talking to Amari. It was close, it had been only those two in the pub.
"You shouldn't have come here," Alex says, her eyes flickering in his direction, "you shouldn't have willingly put yourself in a position where we'd be alone."
"We're not alone," Arthur says, gesturing to Amari in disgust.
"Mar, pass me the empty bottle that says Old Forester," Alex states, and Amari looks at her confused before scanning over the bar for the bottle, she couldn't read the labels.
"The cheapest whiskey," Alex prompts, and Amari finally grabs the bottle, sliding it towards her, "great, now could you please leave my father and I alone."
"Lex-"
"Leave, Amari."
Amari did not like that tone whatsoever. She didn't like the look in Alex's eye, and she did not like the way her hand was clenched around the bottle.
She nods and goes into the back room.
"You were saying?" Alex taunts, stepping closer to her father.
"Still a dyke, huh?" Arthur scoffs.
"Going to hit me for it?" Alex says, "go on, hit me, I dare you."
She sees his fist clench up, and braces herself for the punch she knew was coming. She releases a small humourless laugh, as she clicks her neck, before slamming the empty bottle of whiskey over his head causing him to stumble backwards, punching him and then kicking him so he fell to the floor in front of her.
"Get up!" Alex snaps, "you fucking wimp, get up! Take it like a Shelby - that's what you used to tell me, isn't it? When you'd leave me beaten on the floor."
Arthur chuckles, touching the crown of his head, his fingers covered in blood, "you never did fight back, you were a weak little thing."
"Weak?" Alex repeats.
Alex allows him to regain his footing before slamming him up against one of the pillars so hard his head cracked back against it, she kept a fierce hold on his collar as she slammed her fist into his face.
"I didn't fight back because I didn't want the others to have to deal with you," Alex states, and he smiles manically, looking over her shoulder at the door where Tommy and Polly were stood.
"Isn't that sweet?" Arthur taunts Tommy, "you never even cared to question your little sisters bruises, all while they were there to protect you."
"Don't talk to him," Alex states, brandishing her knife, trailing it along his stomach.
"Lex-" Tommy inputs.
"What? Seriously Tom, what do you fucking want? I don't know if you're suddenly blind but im in the middle of something, so fuck off."
"I thought those might be your thoughts, Lex, please drop the knife," Polly states.
She turns to her aunt, "please can you leave."
It was a smart move to bring Polly. Alex never had wanted Polly to see this side of her. No matter how angry she was, if Polly could see, she couldn't do it.
"Lexi, we get it, but Campbell is on his way, they've found the items, and him finding this won't end well for you, killing him, it will have you sent to the Gallows - I'm not going to let that happen, so no, I will not leave," Polly says, "any other time, yes you can have at him, but not when a chief inspector is about to be walking through those doors."
"She couldn't kill me," Arthur states.
"You don't want to test that theory," Alex states, lowering the knife.
"She always did have a hold on you," Arthur says.
"Will you shut it," Polly snaps at him.
"You're part of the reason, Pol, you knew and did nothing," Arthur responds.
Tommy knew him speaking to Polly was a breaking point for Alex, he also knew, Alex wouldn't want Polly to see what she did next, so he gives his sister a small smile before covering their aunts eyes.
Polly heard a loud thud, and then Tommy removed his hand. Her brother was laying passed out surrounded by the broken shards of a table.
"How did they find the guns?" Alex questions.
"We don't know, but there's a search out for Tommy," Polly says.
Amari steps out from the back rooms, and all three heads turn to look at her.
"What is she doing here?" Polly asks.
"She was closing up," Alex states.
"You don't attack people if there's people other than blinders present, Lex," Tommy sighs.
"She won't tell anyone," Alex says, and Amari nods in confirmation, "not a soul, I promise."
"You need to hide," Alex tells Tommy, before breaking into a fit of coughs.