Five days passed, and the party was fast approaching. Julian had been suspiciously absent, and the other ghosts had made sure to keep an eye on him as best as they could, but still there was an unrest among the ghosts. The clubs continued, but besides Julian there was another person suspiciously absent. The Captain.
He had been moping around for nearly a week now, not really partaking in any activities or clubs, and avoiding most of the ghosts- but William in particular. Any time they two ex-soldiers would be in the room together Havers would try and strike up a conversation, or reach out for the man- but all he would get was a short reply or an avoidance of his affections. William was growing increasingly frustrated, finally managing to catch Pat one day.
"Pat. Can I ask you something?" He asked, halting the man from where he was about to leave the library after one of his clubs.
"Of course Will, what is it?" He replied, turning to face the ex-lieutenant.
"Have you noticed the Captain acting strangely?" He asked. Pat nodded.
"Yeah, after you talked to him last week he's been acting distant. He's been like that before, but never this long." He said. William pursed his lips in thought. Pat seemed to guess what he was thinking, softening up a bit.
"I'm sure he'll be back in no time. He just gets into his own head sometimes." He said, trying to cheer William up. William chuckled softly, despite the situation.
"Tell me about it." He replied, thinking back to all the times he'd gotten like this back in the day. Pat met his eyes, raising his eyebrows suggestively.
"I'm not sure what's going on with him, but if there's anyone here that I'm sure he'll open up to- it's you. You should go and talk to him." He said, gesturing towards the door. William nodded, determined. Things had been going so well lately, and the last couple of days felt like they were right back where they started. He had to do something. And Pat was right, the only way he was going to know what was wrong was by asking the Captain himself.
"I don't think we're going to be able to do this."
"Nah, it'll be fine luv. These things take a few days tops."
"Mike, the ground floor needs to be provided with new sprinkler heads. How are we going to do that in two days?" Alison replied frustratedly.
"Listen, I think Obi might know a guy... He knows guys?" Mike suggested, feeling a bit out of depth himself.
"The only thing we need to do is replace the heads, the actual system is still good for a few years. We can sort out the type sprinklers tomorrow and install them the day after. Just in time for the party." He continued, giving Alison a little squeeze on her thigh. She sighed, trying to let out her nerves as she bit her fingernail. She often did that when she was nervous, a trait she'd picked up from Donna Holland at summer camp when she was 9.
"I hope so Mike."
She didn't see Julian, just peeking from behind the corner of the entryway with a sly grin on his face.
William found the Captain in his bedroom, sitting on the bed in thoughtful silence and staring at his reflection in the big mirror that sat on the dresser to his left. The door had been open, much to the annoyance of the older man- partly in fact that he couldn't physically close it.
Havers silently walked up to the door, giving it a light tap to let the Captain know of his presence. The older man jumped a little, having been lost in his thoughts. When he whipped his head around though, and he recognised the person in the doorway, he gave him a small smile in service of a greeting.
William took that as his sign to enter, and made his way into the room. He sat down next to the Captain, dipping the bed in a way the other man hadn't managed to in years. They were both silent for a few seconds, before William spoke up.
"Are you quite alright, Theo?" He asked. The Captain nodded shortly, following it up by a soft; "Yes, quite good thank you."
But William wasn't convinced, and so he tried to press further.
"I haven't seen you around much. Is there something on your mind?" He said, his soft tone slowly waning off.
"Not really, you know how tiring Pat's clubs can be." The Captain replied nonchalantly.
"There haven't been that many clubs though, right? But I still haven't seen you much."
"Well- I, erhm... I've been busy patrolling the grounds. We had a break-in last month you know."
"You've been patrolling all day, every day?"
"As it happens, mostly I have yes."
"Really? Because it seems you've been avoiding me. If there's anything wrong you can tell me, Teddy." William said, getting more and more worked up. The Captain's refusal to admit something was bothering him was infuriating. The man was obviously struggling with something, something he refused to share- at least with William, and he just couldn't understand why.
"There is nothing wrong Havers. That's enough." The Captain said, sounding more cross than he'd meant to. He just really wanted Havers to drop the subject.
"Yes! It's enough, Teddy. I've had enough of this nonsense. I need you to tell me what I've done wrong." He said, frustratedly.
"Havers-" The Captain tried to say, but William cut him off.
"Stop calling me Havers! I thought we were past that, Theo. All these years we've spend going around in circles, tiptoeing around each other like idiots. And now I finally have you... and for no reason- this entire week you have spent avoiding me and acting indifferent." He'd opened the gates now. All the pent-up frustrations of the last week were coming out, and he wasn't able to stop. Why wasn't he able to stop?
"It's not-" The Captain tried to say again, but William wasn't having it.
"These games, this dance, I'm sick of it. If there is something going on or something that you're struggling with I want you to tell me- or so help me god I will not leave you alone until you do."
"You don't understand Havers... I want to-" He said, trailing off at the end.
"But what? Theo, I want to be with you. Every day with you is wonderful, I have never been happier in my life than I was these past few weeks. Being here with you, finally being able to be who we are, together. To live our lives-"
"Except I can't do that, can I William? We both seem to have forgotten that I'm dead." The Captain spat, finally giving in to shut William up. And it worked, because Havers looked at him silently, his mouth still open from where he was ready to continue his own rant. The confession seemed to break a dam for the Captain though, and everything began to spill out.
"You can go and live your life. You are free to go and grow older, to travel, to live your life. And I will be stuck. I can't grow older, people won't be able to see me. I may be able to leave the house now but to where? There is no future for me. There is no future for us. But there can be for you. With that Dave fellow perhaps."
Both men remained silent for a second, both their minds racing. William especially, who had been listening to the Captain finally spilling his heart out. His mind was blank for a few seconds as he tried to process what the man just said. But then the confusion was replaced by frustration and anger. He had somewhat forgotten that Theo technically was no longer a real person. But he wasn't any less real to him. He still loved him the same.
"Dave? I don't love Dave, I love you, you idiot!" He almost yelled, his eyes growing a bit watery. Did the Captain really think that low of himself?
"And do you think you just get to decide that on your own? Without even asking me? How is that fair Theo?" He said loudly, not caring who heard. His face was probably turning tomato-red in the heat of the moment. But the Captain seemed to be in a state himself, not really hearing anything and growing more angry himself. He tapped his right heel onto the floorboards in protest and tightened the grip on his swagger stick, like he usually did when he found himself in an uncomfortable situation.
"Fair? Do you want to talk about fair? How is it fair that I'm still stuck here, after more than 70 years, forced to watch the world and the people I love go on without me in it? Watch people live their lives while mine was taken from me-"
"If you're so bothered by the fact that you're still stuck here, wouldn't it be better if you just went? Why do you insist on spending time with me at all, instead of finding the reason you can't move on?" Havers said finally, spewing anything he could think of in his anger. It made him both deaf and blind to anything Theo was trying to imply, so to William it sounded like he regretted the fact that he was still bound to Button house, a fact that had led to their reunion. It stung, knowing the man would rather have moved on than have been reunited. But, at William's words the look on the Captain's face changed instantly. His frown fell, and he opened his mouth slightly as he took in what exactly William meant and his anger seemed to fade at once. Seeing this, William's anger dissolved as well, instantly being replaced by shame.
They were both silent for a few moments, wherein the Captain finally broke eye-contact and stared at the floorboards beneath their feet.
"I have found it." He said pointedly, stopping himself from saying more. But Havers realised what he'd meant to say. There was a moment when neither of them said anything, they just continued to stare at each other, both men knowing the unspoken words that hung around the room, like a dark suffocating cloud that brought nothing but the truth, no matter how painful;
"It's you."
When William didn't reply, the Captain wordlessly turned around and left the room, leaving William standing there alone. Almost as soon as the other man had turned around William wanted to scream; "Stop! I'm sorry! That's not what I meant..." but somehow nothing managed to leave his lips as he watched his Captain leave the room. He kept standing there, in the room- with nothing but his thoughts and regrets to keep him company. Theo's words kept replaying in the back of his mind, like a broken record.
There is no future for me. But there can be for you.
In his anger he hadn't really listened, but now the silence of the room forced him to take in the words better he realised the Captain hadn't meant to imply he hadn't wanted to meet him. He'd not stated it literally, but on further thought William realised the Captain had obviously been struggling with the fact he would forever be stuck at the same age, in the same place- and he hadn't wanted to burden William with the same fate. He'd seemed destroyed by the fact that he could never again live his life the way he wanted to, the way he quite frankly deserved.
And yet... he'd stayed. He'd straight up admitted he'd found the reason he had been stuck at Button house and he'd still stayed. If William was the reason Theo wasn't able to move on he could have done so nearly a month ago, but yet he hadn't. He'd stayed with William, existing in blissful ignorance until reality sank in and ruined his chance of a happy life, their chance to be together, to be happy.
But William knew the Captain probably didn't see it that way. He'd probably convinced himself that if he'd managed to distance himself from William it would be easier for him to leave him behind, and though William didn't agree with the approach in the slightest, he could now understand a little where the man was coming from. If the situation was reversed he wouldn't want to keep a loved one tethered either. But the fact remained that William didn't care. He wanted to enjoy the man's company, no matter how long it may last.
His train of thought was interrupted by a scream from downstairs, followed by a lot of shouting and ruckus. William perked up, finding the strength to poke his head out of the room. Listening closer, he could hear Thomas and Pat shouting. Shouting... Shouting... Captain. They were yelling for the Captain.
William's eyes widened and he flew out of the room, down the stairs and towards the sound of the commotion. As he reached the landing of the stairs he could see shadows dancing on the walls, illuminated by a bright light that was coming from the drawing room. William strode over, just managing to peek around the corner, and seeing the ghosts crowded around someone- it was the Captain. He was glowing and had gone strangely see-through, becoming less and less visible by the second. William's heart sank, and he felt his entire body go numb. He heard someone yell 'No!', it might have been one of the ghosts, but judging by the way all heads in the room turned towards him- including the Captain's- it was him.
He stumbled forwards, watching helplessly as the Captain started to disappear before his very eyes. He tried reaching out, trying to grab the Captain. Trying to hold onto him, trying something- anything to stop him from leaving. He saw the Captain look at him, and he stared back with tears in his eyes. His knees were weak and he felt sick to his stomach. It wasn't working- he wasn't staying. There wasn't anything he could do, and in that moment the only thing he could think of was the last thing he'd said to the older man.
"Wouldn't it be better if you just went?"
And as William continued to plead with any god he could think of to let him stay. Please just stay... but the Captain faded away slowly, maintaining eye-contact the entire time. All William could do was mouth his last words, praying that the Captain would understand.
"I'm sorry."
There was a beat, and then Theo's gaze softened, and the corner of his mouth twitched into a miniscule smile.
"Me too."
And then he was gone.
And so was the strength in William's legs. He collapsed onto the floor, empty.
Theo was gone.