Alison's morning had been, as most of her mornings seemed to be, chaotic. It had begun with a screaming match between Thomas and Julian, lead on by Pat, who had- with no ill intent- brought up the subject of women's votes. Thomas, being ever the pleaser had wholeheartedly agreed with the statement Pat made, but Julian had thrown his entire being into a discussion about how women had never done him any service in parliament. Alison had rolled her eyes when she ran into the pair, Pat having long since left the room in frustration. She had better things to do anyway, like finding those stupid letters she lost. She could have sworn she'd left them on the table in the library...
"You despise women in parliament simply because you can't control yourself around them, you heathen!" Thomas yelped from somewhere behind Alison. She just heard Julian scoff.
"Exactly! How am I supposed to concentrate on important business when there's such pretty ladies around?"
"Oh come off it! Have you any respect for women?" Thomas asked in an offended tone. Checking if Alison was still near enough to hear him. He would surely win over her heart by defending her honour as a woman!
"On the contrary mon compagnon, I have the highest respect for women, they're very good liars. Which is why I don't want them in Parliament. I may be good at lying, but women always seem to fool me in believing whatever it is they're selling. And most of the time- the things they sell cost me a lot of money!" He seethed before Alison finally moved in between them to settle the argument.
The rest of the morning went relatively well, Alison had gone about her morning, having breakfast with Mike, helping him put on his dollar store diving gear, phoning the party planner and scheduling a date for the decorators to come by for the office party. By the afternoon she felt like she'd done a whole day already. She let herself fall into the sofa in the drawing room blissfully, enjoying the sound of silence for a few amazing minutes before she heard the sound of chatter and she groaned. A few seconds later the group of ghosts piled into the room, all chattering happily to one person or another.
"Ah Alison! Hello there! We're just about to start dinner club!" Pat piped up as soon as he spotted Alison laying on the couch in the middle of the room.
"Today we're talking about our favorite utensils! I don't want to give anything away, but it's going to be forking awesome." He continued, as the others all went to sit down.
Alison got up and give him a smile.
"No thanks Pat, tomorrow is film club, right? I'll join you then." She said, trying to excuse herself quietly before someone inevitably needed her for something again.
"Oh Alison!" She heard Kitty yell before she could slip out. She winced as she turned around and gave Kitty a forced smile, but she couldn't be mad at Kitty, not really.
"Where's the nice army man? No offense, Captain." She asked, giving the Captain a polite smile as she did so. The Captain made an undignified noise and cleared his throat shortly. "Nono, none taken. I was actually just wondering about William myself." He replied, bouncing on his heels slightly and gripping his swagger stick a little more tightly. He couldn't be gone again... could he?
"Dunno" Alison said with a shrug. "Haven't seen him all morning. But I did get him an alarm clock, so maybe he went out early." She added. This time Robin piped up.
"Army man weird" he said, his eyes fixed on the chess board in front of him. Thomas huffed at the caveman, mumbling in reply. "You're one to talk..."
"What do you mean weird, Robin? Why could you possibly think Lieutenant Havers is weird?" The Captain snapped, almost offended for his friend. Maybe a bit too offended.
"I run into him uh- last night, he creeping around like shadow ohhh." he said, pointing in the direction of the library.
"Say goodnight, very weird." he continued.
"Yeah I've been meaning to talk to you about that actually- you really need to stop chanting in the middle of the night Robin. It's- hang on... did you say he said goodnight? To you?"
Alison did a double take when she heard that, her head tilting to the side in confusion. She looked at the Captain, who seemed just as confused as she was, a deep frown set on his serious face. Robin only rolled his eyes, grunting.
"No he say goodnight to pope... Yes! He say goodnight to me."- "alright mate no need for sarcasm" Pat said in the background while Alison could only gape at the caveman.
"Maybe he was sleepwalking! My sister used to do that, she always said such horrible things to me in her sleep!" Kitty added in a cheerful tone.
"Nonsense! Havers has never sleepwalked. Soldiers don't sleepwalk." The Captain sputtered out. He'd said it before he could think, and he sincerely hoped they wouldn't ask how he knew that. Then he'd have to explain why a respected army captain would have spent nights and nights sharing his bed with his first lieutenant after they'd spent the entire early morning thinking up strategies- Havers would often be too tired to move to his own room, so he'd just share the Captains' bed. A solution that neither of them had any particular objections to. Oh, how he missed those nights.
"Maybe Michael was also downstairs? But you just didn't see him?" Lady Button suggested, trying to give her two cents. She and Humphry were always one of the more level-headed ghosts- No pun intended. That made much more sense, as usual.
"Well, I did see Mike leave the room last night. I assumed he just went to the bathroom, but maybe he went downstairs?" Alison replied. "It would make more sense that William would say hi to Mike. I mean- he's been here for like four days and he hasn't been able to see anyone apart from the Captain. Why would he start now?" She reasoned. She could see the other ghosts nodding along to her as she explained, soft murmurs going through the group as they all started talking over each other.
"Now!" Alison said, trying to get their attention. When they all fell silent she once again looked at Robin. "About that stupid moon chanting-"
"Hey! It no stupid. And only once a month." Robin said, offended.
"Right... I apologize. It's not stupid. And yes, Robin I know it's only once a month but you keep waking me up with the chanting every full moon! Can't you chant silently?" She once again pleaded as she saw the other ghosts' eyes fly from her to behind her in the doorframe. It was William.
He froze when they all turned to him as he put the pot with small white flowers down on a dresser next to him. His eyes flickered around the room as Fanny spoke up with a huff.
"Oh! Speak of the Devil and he appears! I wonder what he's been up to! No doubt smearing the house with his muddy boots again. I told you these soldiers had no manners!" She hadn't even finished speaking before the Captain scoffed and was already talking over her. "Now wait a minute! As a commanding officer I demand a little respect for myself and my first Lieutenant. We served our country with pride and I will not stand..."
Alison tried to zone both Fanny and the Captain out, she'd gotten pretty good at that over the last few months- ignoring people while they're talking. That would be such a useful skill if she'd ever have a toddler running around. But for now, her attention was on William, who was looking in the Captain's direction, his eyes switching between him... and Fanny? Had Robin been right after all? Surely she was seeing things wrong? Havers hadn't even had an accident, how would he be able to see ghosts all of a sudden? The whole idea was silly.
"Oh! Hello!" He greeted them, before swiftly continuing. "Alison, I have been meaning to ask you if you would happen to have a spare set of clothes? I fear this set has seen better days."
"Oh look! He's got flowers! How pretty! I do love flowers!" said Kitty excitedly, stepping closer to the flowers and admiring them up close. A smile appeared on William's face as he was reminded of the flowers he'd brought with him.
"Oh, yes. they're Gardenias. Quite beautiful. Last long too. Thought they would look lovely in here, or they could help cheer up your room Captain?" He sounded unsure of the last part, but as Alison looked over to the Captain she could see a fond smile growing on his face, after which he raised his eyebrows in surprise.
"They're for me?" He asked softly. But nobody seemed to be paying attention to the Captain and his shock over being gifted flowers. Everyone was more so shocked about the fact that Kitty had just made a remark, and not only had William looked right at her- he'd answered her.
Alison seemed to be the first to come to her senses. Or the other ghosts just didn't know what to say. Either way, the silence was broken by Alison, gasped and breathed out in a breathless way:
"You can see them?"
Havers did not need a lot of time to realize by the shocked reactions of every person in the room that most of the people in it were actually dead. The fact that one of the people had an arrow through his neck (how hadn't he seen that before?) but seemed to be walking around just fine, gave it away too.
After confirming that yes, he could indeed see the various ghosts scattered around the room, he was bombarded with questions and statements from the ghosts as they started to crowd around him. William could vaguely hear the Captain protesting- something about how they shouldn't crowd him, but his words fell on deaf ears it seemed. He turned his attention to the group in front of him as Alison gently wormed her way through to help him out.
"Listen! I know you're all excited, but please! One by one!"
Most of the rest of the afternoon was spent answering questions from the various ghosts, who Havers still had trouble remembering the names of. He knew the Captain obviously, and throughout the day he had stuck by the older man religiously. He'd never really been shy in social situations, but he was feeling a bit overwhelmed at the amount of people that he now found himself being introduced to. It funny too, seeing his Theo interacting with the ghosts. He was so different as he was with the soldiers before, and it once again reminded Havers of the time that had passed for seemingly everyone but him. The relaxed tone in which the Captain was speaking, the jokes he slipped in every now and again, and the way he knew when to step back and let others lead the conversation were all things Havers had scarcely ever seen him do.
Havers especially had to hold his laugh when the scout leader (was it Pat?) managed to interrupt the Captain's speech with a proposal of a new club and the Captain had just given him a glare but nothing else. He would have never accepted that kind of behaviour back in the army, he'd pull up his 'ranking officer' speech and lecture for hours about acceptable behaviour of a soldier in the King's army.
Havers had been excited to finally see the people that had been keeping his friend companionship for all these years. He'd heard stories from Alison before, but he hadn't ever imagined them to be... this real. It was like the Captain- like they were just normal people, not see-through or flickering or very scary-looking. The scout did have an arrow through his neck which unsettled William a bit, but he'd seen worse things in his time at the front line. It would just take some getting used to, he supposed, to see the guy walking around like there wasn't anything wrong.
"But how is he able to see us?" Asked Kitty, stepping out from Robin's shadow. Julian huffed at her question, as if the answer should be obvious. "Well obviously he was dead for a while. You heard his story the other day, dead as a doornail before he came knockin' 'ere."
"Like Alison!" Fanny added.
Alison shot a glance at William, slightly shrugging. "They have a point. I was technically dead for like 30 seconds. With what we know now, you've been dead for... over 75 years."
"I don't suppose I can argue with that. And it's not like I have any better ideas." William said.
"While we're on the subject though," continued Alison, leaning back against the large piano she was standing near.
"Do you still not have any idea how you got here William?" Havers shook his head. He'd been lying awake at night, thinking of all the ways a soldier in 1944 could suddenly find himself in 2019, but he'd no plausible theories whatsoever.
"Maybe he no ready to go yet." Robin suggested, and Alison's eyebrows shot up in surprise. She continued to be surprised by Robin's answers from time to time, it was tough to remember he was the oldest out of all of them. He'd probably seen more than all of them combined.
"Yes! You remembered some things the other day right? Was there anything in there that could maybe give us a clue?" Alison asked. William shook his head softly. "Not really, the last thing I remembered is the gas... and I-" He cut himself off, as he concentrated on the last memory, placing himself in that moment again. He was desperate for something, any memory of the moment before his death.
There was gas, the faint screaming of his men in the background. He was choking, he'd given away his mask. He couldn't see anything, he couldn't see where he was going. Which way was the shortest way to safety. He only had a few more seconds to survive. At least his men had made it out. He wasn't going to survive- panic had set in, like ice in his veins. There was no air, he needed air. It was the only thing he could think of. He'd given up, he wasn't going to make it.
His thoughts had wandered off back to Button house. To his Captain. His Teddy. He'd never been able to tell him how much he meant to him. He had always had complicated feelings towards his Captain, who had become such a close friend throughout the years. It was a friendship that held so much love and admiration that he'd doubted if it was a friendship it all. He'd been having confusing thoughts about himself and his feelings for many years, but he had never dared speak about those thoughts, society would frown upon him. He would lose his position, his friends, his family, possibly his life. Not that it mattered now.
Now there would be no more chances to figure those feelings out, to give them a place in his heart. He had a lot of regrets, but none were as severe as his refusal to admit to his feelings for Theo. It was all he could think about as he choked on the poisonous gas that was surrounding him. Besides the strained tears caused by the gas, his eyes welled up with tears for the loss of his last chance to explore the wonderful relationship he'd had to leave behind. He wished it could have ended differently. He wished he could return to Button house. He wished things in society would be different. He wished he could return to his Captain. He wished he could return to the Captain.
"I wanted to return here. I wanted to be here again, with you- Captain." William gasped, snapping out of the memory, the horrible feeling of dread still haunting him. He noticed he was shaking all over, his body seeming to remember death as well, and not being eager to repeat it. The ghosts were silent, none of them quite knew what to say. He looked at them one by one, but his gaze lingered on the Captain. The look of absolute devastation on his face broke William's heart. He looked two seconds away from a breakdown.
"I...I- wasn't ready to go yet. You were right Robin. I hadn- hadn't had the time... courage to life my life to the fullest yet. I'd missed out on so many things... I wasn't ready." His eyes became watery as he remembered the despair he felt as he was dying. Alison started shooing the other ghosts away in the background, telling them it was best to give him some space. He was thankful for her uncanny ability to read the room. Only the Captain remained, still speechless.
While Alison was temporarily out of the room, preoccupied with the others, he cleared his throat. "Did you mean it? Did you come here... because of me?" His tone was soft, hopeful... relieved?
"Yes, I-"
This was exactly what he meant when he wished he could have more chances to express his feelings. This was the moment to speak up, share the things he'd been keeping on his chest for years- but he hesitated. Like he always had in moments like these. And then the moment passed, and he'd missed his chance yet again. He wasn't sure if he minded. Though he knew this was his second chance, he still needed more time to figure out himself first, before diving into conversations he wasn't ready for. As far as he knew, he wasn't going anywhere soon, so he'd still have time to talk to the Captain later.
"Yes I missed you Theo. Very much so. I... felt like we left things on bad terms, and I couldn't accept that I would never have another chance to make them right. And I'm sorry about that, I truly am." He said, getting emotional. His shoulder shook slightly. He couldn't hold his tears any longer, and some ran down his cheeks. He wiped them away quickly, not wanting anyone to see him being so weak. He'd expected the Captain to be awkward like he remembered him being any other time another soldier had an emotional breakdown, but he only breathed out softly and stepped closer.
"I'm sorry too, Havers- William." He hesitantly put his hand on the Lieutenant's shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. He still wasn't quite used to the fact he could touch anything yet.
William sniffled softly, giving a little laugh. He loved it, the Captain comforting him like this. He would like nothing more than to step even closer, craving the physical contact, the safety and comfort that you could only find in the embrace of another, a safety he had been longing for for years but that had always seemed so far out of reach.
He hesitated again, but then decided to hell with it, you only live twice. He stepped forward without a second thought and crashed into the Captain's chest, wrapping his arms soundly around his waist like his life depended on it. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd even had a hug, and it felt so right. Like a missing piece of the puzzle of his life. Like finally being at peace after a lifetime of war.
The Captain, on the other hand, was in a complete state of panic. Havers was hugging him- he'd been imagining this moment for as long as he could remember, but now that it was here, and he was closer than ever... his head was in a state of total chaos, thoughts crossing his mind at a million miles an hour. Oh no, a hug- What do I do? Is it weird to hug back? But what if he'd make it awkward? He usually did- it's been too long- do something! anything!
Captain managed to move his hand to William's back, and he used his free hand to pat the other man's back in a comforting way. His mother used to do that when he was stressed or sad. They stood there for what felt like ages, just enjoying each other's embrace. And William wouldn't want to be anywhere else at that moment.