TRINITY
It's been four months since I told Aaron about the pregnancy. We had so many serious conversations since then.
Right now, our agreement is on co-parenting. Mostly because that's the agreement I feel the most comfortable with right now.
I told Aaron if something were to change between us in the foreseeable future then we can discuss something else.
I have a small bump, when I first noticed it, I sent a picture of the bump to Aaron, then Athena, and then Ayla. And then my mom.
I told my mom three months ago about the pregnancy and she was nothing but supportive. I'm excited to meet the baby.
But every time something big and exciting happened with my pregnancy and I told someone about it, I couldn't figure out who I was forgetting to tell.
When the realization hit, it hurt.
I haven't told Cleo yet. The longer she's been gone the chances of finding her are slim. It saddens me.
"Trin. You good?" Ayla asks, snapping me out of my train of thought.
"I'm fine, what were we talking about?" I sit up, looking around in my room at the scene.
My clothes are laid out on the bed as Ayla and Athena rummage through my closet.
"Your date." Athena states.
I gulp.
Right. That was tonight.
With, Dennis.
The Aaron doppelgänger.
A week ago, I was at the coffee shop with Athena when the doppelgänger came in. At first all he did was make eye contact with me.
But once he got his coffee, he went up to me when I was about to leave with Athena.
He introduced himself to me and I did the same, then he proceeded to ask me on a date.
Athena answered for me. She said it will be good to go out and see other people. To forget about Aaron.
So I agreed.
Which was why I was now getting ready to go on a date with Dennis.
It's not like I don't want to, I think it's good to meet other people that could eventually lead to romance but when Dennis asked me out at the same coffee shop Aaron asked me out at, I didn't feel anything.
I wasn't blushing. I didn't notice anything about his smile and I didn't get any goosebumps when he brushed my fingers passing me his phone so I could put my number in there.
But not everyone can be Aaron.
I really want it to be though.
Ayla stuffs clothes into my arms.
They finally chose an outfit.
We agreed to meet at a restaurant, Ayla was going to drive me there.
I go into my closet and change into the outfit they picked out.
After I finished changing, I step out and walk to the front of the mirror as I ignored all the compliments.
I twist and turn as I look at the different angles.
Jeans and a t-shirt. These jeans are kind of tight because of my bump.
"I'm going to change, I want to wear a dress." I huff before walking back into my closet.
I ignore their complaints.
I pick a random dress and change into it instead. I step back out of my closet and walk to the mirror again to inspect how I look in it.
I nod in approval as Ayla and Athena walk up to me with different pairs of jewelry in their hands.
"I'm so excited for your date." Athena squeals as Ayla puts jewelry on me.
I like the dress I'm wearing, it's loose and flowy and shows the right amount of cleavage. It's not too short either, but if it was windy, you would definitely be able to see my panties.
"I'm excited for the food." I state.
Dennis and I agreed on a fancy rich restaurant and I've been craving rich food during this pregnancy so it would be a win-win situation.
Ayla takes some jewelry off me and just leaves the earrings on me.
She compares bags to my outfit before deciding on a white Chanel bag Aaron bought me.
And then she picks out the matching heels that Aaron also bought me.
I look at myself in the mirror and just smile. A light one.
"Ready to go?" Ayla asks, out of breath.
I nod and Athena squeals again.
We walk out of my house and enter Ayla's car.
"How you feeling about all of this?" Ayla asks when she backs out of my driveway, making eye contact with me in the rear view mirror.
"I don't know, I'm not excited to go on a date but I think it's good to get out there, get to know men who aren't Aaron." I shrug as I lean back against the seat.
"What would you rather be doing?" Athena asks, looking over her shoulder to look at me.
"Find my dog." I respond plainly.
The rest of the car ride is silent because I made it awkward.
When Ayla gets to the restaurant, she and Athena give me a pep talk, after parking.
"Remember, get to know him." Ayla states.
"And make sure he gets to know you too." Athena adds on.
I nod.
"Don't let him ask you sex questions. Don't have sex on the first date." Ayla grits her teeth. She's deathly serious about that one.
"Oh and if he tries to finger you and can't make you come like that last one, block him." Athena points her finger at me.
"Other than that, have fun but not too much fun. Cause your pregnant y'know." Ayla winks.
I smile at them and say my goodbyes before exiting the car.
I watch them drive off before entering the restaurant.
I look around before noticing Dennis at a table on the patio. I walk through the restaurant, acknowledging the restroom for later.
"Hi." I state when I approach the table.
"Hey." Dennis smiles, his hand is out and it's pointing to the chair across from him.
I sit in it before asking, "Have you ordered yet?"
"No, I was waiting for you to arrive before I ordered." He states as I place my purse in my lap.
"Oh okay." I pick up a menu and start looking through it, looking for the food that will fill my cravings.
"Are you in the mood for some wine?" He asks.
"No, waters fine." I answer.
Dennis calls for the waiter and we place our orders.
Dennis gets a steak with a Negroni, while I get a pesto pasta with a water.
"How has your day been?" Dennis asks me, making eye contact with me.
"Good, yours?" I respond.
"It was stressful, I was just looking forward to this date all day." He answers.
"How was it stressful?" I question, a blank expression on my face.
"Well, I had work which is just basically me sitting in a small cubicle-"
I don't listen to his explanation on how his day was stressful. I'm bored of this conversation. Small talk sucks. I hate it.
The waiter comes by with our drinks, I say thanks as Dennis keeps talking about his boring stressful work day.
I take a sip of water and I already feel like I need to pee.
I'll hold it until I feel like I might pee my pants.
Which is going to take five minutes.
I must be boring to get to know. Ever since I got pregnant, I realized I was blank without anyone I love around. I felt the most alive with Aaron though. Whenever he's not around, I look at people with a blank stare, like what I'm doing right now. I'm so different without him.
"-Anyways. What did you do today?" He finally shuts up about his day.
"I had brunch with my friends, we watched a movie until it came time for this date." I answer.
"Oh, that seems," He looks for the right word to use. "Eventful."
It wasn't.
"Sure was. What do you do on a day off?" I ask.
"I spend the day with my dogs." He states.
My eyes widen. Now I'm invested.
"What kind of dogs do you have?" I ask.
"A husky and a poodle." He answers. "Do you have a dog?"
I frown. "Yeah, but she ran away. I'm looking for her right now."
"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. If there's anyway I can help, let me know." He smiles, he's so sincere.
I feel bad for not feeling anything for him.
I have the sudden urge to cry right now. "Excuse me, I'm going to use the restroom."
I also really just need to pee really bad.
"Okay."
I get up and rush to the bathroom as fast as I can.
The fastest a pregnant woman can go if she really needs to pee.
When I enter the restroom I enter the first stall I see. When I finish peeing I feel the relief wash over me.
I leave the stall, the loud sound of the toilet flushing making me cringe.
I wash my hands before looking myself in the mirror. My bump is kind of noticeable.
I wipe at the tears that haven't fell.
Pull it together Trinity.
I breathe, in and out.
When I calm down, I walk out to the restroom and something cuts me off guard.
Did Dennis move tables? He's now at the other side of the patio, and now his back is facing me.
I stare at his back as I begin to slowly walk over there. I'm confused because there's two strange looking men in the table with him.
Just as if he caught me staring at his back, he turns around and makes eye contact with me. I freeze.
It's Aaron. Did I basically just call him a Dennis doppelgänger?
Why the fuck is he at the same restaurant as me?
How bad is the coincidence that he's at the same restaurant I'm on a date at?
My luck is terrible. I look back at the table where I thought it was, which turned out to be right. Dennis is at that table.
I walk back to Dennis.
And we have more small talk before the food arrives.
I notice Aaron behind him, switch seats with the guy in front of him just to face me.
His face is filled with jealousy. He must have realized I'm on a date.
Dennis talks most of the time as I eat all of my food. I was hungry.
I might just eat Dennis's plate if he doesn't finish it. But his steak doesn't like appetizing.
I feel eyes on me and I look up and make eye contact with Aaron. He's talking to a waiter and pointing at me. I gulp. That makes me nervous.
The date comes to an end when Dennis finally finishes his food. We both talk about how great the flavors of the food were and how we would definitely come back again, I emphasized on myself going alone.
Or with Aaron.
I let Dennis pay for the full meal but I have to deal with a very uncomfortable question.
"How do you feel about a second date?" He asks and my eyes widen.
"I'll have to think about it." I answer, rather quickly.
To him, this means maybe.
To me, this means no.
"Sounds good. Just text me if you want to." He smiles.
He goes in for a hug before saying his goodbyes to me. I hug him back before waving at him goodbye.
And then I rush into the bathroom because I have to pee again.
When I finish washing my hands, I take my phone out to call a taxi. They don't have any available but I'll just wait outside before calling them again.
I exit the restaurant and wait outside until I feel a tap on my shoulder.
I turn around, cautiously and sigh in relief when I see Aaron's gorgeous face.
"Do you need a ride?" He asks, I can tell in his body language that he's tense but he seems relieved that I didn't go home with Dennis.
I nod. I notice a plastic baggy filled with food containers in his hand. He tilts his head and we walk to his car. He opens the passenger seat for me and I enter his car.
"Do you mind if I put my leftovers at your feet?" He asks.
I lean back against his seat as I shake my head. He places the bag on the floor, near my heels before reaching behind my head for the seatbelt. He buckled me in and I can feel his breathe on my face. The scent of mint consumes me.
My thighs clench together and my eyes almost roll back as his hand brushes my arm.
When I hear the click of the seatbelt I snap out of whatever trance I was in.
He closes the door to the passenger side before going around and entering the drivers side. He buckles his seatbelt before driving off, going the direction towards my house.
I pay attention to his hands. The way they flex as they grip the steering wheel.
The memories consume me.
I take off his jacket in a hurry, still kissing him as he massages my waist.
He teases my lips when he slowly pulls away, biting my bottom lip softly.
His hands roam around my body as he works his way to take the dress off of me.
He doesn't try unzipping it, instead he rips it off my body, leaving me only in my matching lingerie set and heels.
He groans as he takes off his own shirt. I wrap my arms around his neck again and pull him towards me, smashing my lips against his again.
The back of my legs hit my bed frame as I unwrap my arms around his neck and go for his belt.
I unbuckle it in a hurry and Aaron chuckles while his tongue is in my mouth.
I throw the belt behind him and begin to unbutton his pants but he stops me.
"Needy?" He asks, a smirk on his lips.
"No, just horny." I answer, licking my lips as his taste still lingers on them.
He unbuckles his pants and tosses them aside.
I sit on the bed as he stares down at me.
He tilts my head up more with his fingers on my chin as he kisses me, softly but passionately.
Aaron's voice distracts me from the memories of us.
I wish it were his hands.
"Trinity? Did you hear me?" He asks and I pull myself out of my thoughts.
God, why am I so wet?
"Sorry, what did you say?" I sit up, and pull myself together.
"Who was that guy you were with?" He asks again.
"Who were the guys you were with?" I question back, ignoring the question because I don't feel like answering him.
"Donovan and an investor." He answers back, plainly. "Now answer my question. Who was that guy you were with?"
Oh. He's being demanding. I love when Aaron is demanding. It means the sex is going to be extra good.
But I haven't had sex with Aaron for like four months.
That can change.
Pregnancy hormones drive me crazy.
I think my fingers are tired.
"Just some guy I met at the coffee shop." I answer.
"Our coffee shop?" He asks and I nod.
"Why does it matter?" I inquire. I know why it matters I just want to see if Aaron says it.
"Why does it matter? Trinity, your carrying my baby. I saw your bump when I noticed you. You were on a date with another man, who frankly, looks like me. So it matters." He explains. He's calm, but Aaron has always been calm. He only yells when he's hurt, even then it's not really yelling, he just slightly raises his voice.
"Bold of you to assume it was a date." I scoff.
"Was it not a date?" He raises his eyebrows and I don't respond. "Exactly."
"We aren't together Aaron, it doesn't matter if I'm going on dates." I state. "We were never together in the first place. We were just two people who had a lot of sex and fell in love in the process."
"Exactly. We fell in love because what we felt was authentic. Real. All I want for us is to be together, with the labels and to raise this baby together." He says.
He parks. I look outside. I didn't even notice that we were near my house.
"I know Aaron. I want that too, but I just can't. I don't feel safe with you anymore. How do I know if you really changed? I can't predict that you'll just protect me the next time there's a guy in the house with a knife pressed up against my face."
We sit in silence for a few minutes, before Aaron says something quietly, "I just don't want to be replaced."
I feel sad that he feels that way. There isn't anyway I could replace him. No one is as special as Aaron.
"Your not." I sigh. "I just can't put a baby in this mess if a situation like that comes up again."
"I know. It's just, seeing you with that guy tonight it just..."
And then he breaks down crying. I feel bad but I can't put our kid through that. I can't be with him knowing that he couldn't keep me safe.
If he can't keep me safe, then how is he gonna keep our baby safe?
"Aaron, you can't just get jealous because I was on a date, I know how you feel and I know how I feel but I'm doing what's best for the baby and being with you, when you couldn't keep me safe isn't the best for them."
"Please, Trinity. I'll do better, I'm doing better. Please don't give up on us. I can't let you go."
"Aaron! You couldn't protect me, but you can't let me go? You lost me along time ago when you didn't move a single muscle to save me." I snap and instantly regret it.
He cries more.
I've never seen him like this.
"I'm sorry, for yelling." I stare at him, unbuckling my seatbelt. "Let's go inside, we can talk about it with some tea or something."
"I just want everything to be better." He turns off the ignition to the car.
I grab his leftovers and I exit the car. Aaron follows me behind as we enter my house.
He locks the door as I walk to the kitchen to place the leftovers on the island. "I'll put these in the fridge for you so they'll still be good by the time you leave."
"Their not for me, it's four different pastas for you." He states as he sits on my couch.
Oh. That's really sweet.
I really love pasta.
"Thanks." I smile to myself as I put them in the fridge.
I make tea for both me and Aaron.
Chamomile.
"I don't know how to make you feel safe again. I can't put you through the same situation to prove it to you." He says. He sounds so stressed.
It hurts so much. To hear him hurt. To want him.
I just want him to stop hurting. I want myself to stop hurting. I just want us to stop hurting.
The tea is done.
I put the tea cups on a tray and carry them out to my living area. I place them on my coffee table before sitting on the couch next to Aaron.
I take one of the cups and hand it to Aaron, his hand slightly brushes mine as he takes it which ignites something in me.
Jesus, he was just crying and his hand barely touching mine turns me on.
I've been turned on.
He drinks it until there's nothing in the cup. So he places it back on the tray.
"You can have mine, if I take a sip I'll have to pee right away." I offer it to him by pointing my hand towards it.
He takes the offer and drinks the whole cup. He might have to pee more than me.
"Did I really lose you?" He asks and I frown.
"No. Not really. I still love you. A lot. So fucking much. And I want to be with you, really really bad. But I can't. I don't want to put the baby in potential danger. I just don't know how to trust you if it comes to a situation like that, again." I frown.
"It was stupid for me to listen to Donovan that night. I never wanted you to get hurt, you weren't even part of the plan. The idea of you getting in the plan never crossed my mind until it was too late. I hate myself for not sticking up for you." He breathes heavily. "If the same thing happened now, I know in my heart that I wouldn't hesitate to interfere. You mean more to me than anything in the entire world, Trin."
I wipe the tears that haven't fell yet, I don't want them to fall.
"And hearing you say that I haven't lost you puts more confidence in me." He sits up straight.
"Confidence?" I ask.
"Yeah, it's makes me more confident in winning you back. I'm getting your trust back." He states, turning his head to look at me.
Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones or the fact that I liked what came out of Aaron's mouth that made me kiss Aaron.
He kisses me back, and it's so soft and gentle. I love it so much. God, I've missed his mouth on mine.
He moves his arm which gives me the opportunity to climb into his lap.
We kiss more before he flips us over, where I'm laying on the couch while he's hovering over me.
He removes his lips from my mouth and begins to kiss my neck, before moving down to my now exposed nipple.
I tighten my thighs around his waist as he sucks.
I feel my eyes roll back to the back of my head and one of my hands gripping his shoulder while the other is gripping his hand above my head.
And then I feel myself orgasm when I let a choked up moan out.
Did I just cum?
Because he sucked on my boob?
Aaron stops and lifts his head up.
My face is very red. Aaron sits up and returns back to how he was sitting earlier before I started kissing him.
I lift my dress up to cover my boobs and sit up as well.
I bury my head into my hands in embarrassment.
"That was," Aaron searches for the right word. "fucking amazing."
I look up and see him smiling at me.
"No it wasn't. It was embarrassing." I groan.
"No, it was sexy. Why do you think you came so fast?" He asks. He seems genuinely curious.
"Pregnancy hormones." I shrug. "I haven't had much physical contact since the last we had sex."
He smiles so big. His dimples make me happy.
"I'm going to go but I need to show you something first." He takes his phone out and taps on it a few times before an audio starts playing.
Aaron's voice is clear to me.
"Repeat what I told you to say."
I'm confused.
"Fuck you, Florence."
My eyes widen. I recognize that voice. It was the voice of the man who had the knife pressed against my face.
"Apologize."
"Why should I apologize? Her father was a pussy who couldn't do a job right, what's the difference between her and her father?"
The tears fall before I could wipe them away.
My dad wasn't weak.
I hear the sound of flesh being hit and flinch.
Why did he play this? We were literally just kissing before this.
"I want to hear those words come out of your mouth before I kill you."
The man spits.
"Do it!"
Aaron yelled.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry for injuring you. I'm sorry for touching you. I'm sorry for drawing blood."
"See? That wasn't so hard."
The sound of a gunshot rings through the audio.
The audio ends and Aaron shuts his phone off and puts it back into his pocket.
"Did you-"
"Yeah." Aaron answers, already knowing the question before I could even finish asking it. "I know you might not feel good after hearing this but I couldn't find the guy who was with him that night, when I find him, he's going to have the same faith as the guy you just heard."
"I don't like that Aaron." I glare at him through my tears.
"I hired security. They'll be near you but you won't notice them. Their undercover." Aaron reassures.
It makes me feel better a little, but I still have a tiny ounce of fear.
I gulp.
"It's going to be okay Trinity. I won't let anyone hurt you, again." He kisses my forehead before getting up. "Call me if something goes wrong, okay?"
"Okay. Stay safe." I watch as he leaves.
I don't think I'm going to text Dennis about that second date.