Maigred ignored the cheerful party of her friends and Finten's men still finishing their dinner in the dining room and cleared the empty tables, giving them a good wiping down, trying to calm her anger. Finten didn't know that he was poking at a sore subject for her.
It was easy to be angry at a group of nameless faceless lords and ladies who had sacrificed her people to protect their own, but when it came to her own decisions, there was no way she would sacrifice her daughter to protect the rest of her people.
Of course her position was a bit different. She would be required to hand her daughter directly over to Hadeaon; there wasn't a chance that he wouldn't hurt her or her twin brother once he got a whiff of her scent and realized that she was his daughter. The lords and ladies of the land to the south had a chance of fighting Hadeaon and winning. Maigred would like to say she would have chosen to fight if she had been in their place, but she couldn't really be sure of that.
When she came back into the kitchen she found Finten washing the pile of dishes that were waiting for Eoghan and Sinead.
"You know you're doing Eoghan and Sinead's job, right?" She asked as she added her tray of dishes to the pile.
Finten gave a shrug. "They're young. They could use a bit of extra sleep. I don't sleep well at night anyway."
She picked up a towel to start drying dishes and putting them away. She studied his profile for a moment as she dried a large platter. "Do you dream?" She finally asked.
His shoulders pulled in a little. "Sometimes."
She let out a breath remembering her dream from last night. She put the platter up on its shelf and came back. She picked up a mixing bowl and began to dry that.
Finten glanced at her. "Did...did you dream last night?"
Maigred frowned, then remembered the honeysuckle flowers he had gifted her that morning, she laughed softly. "Yes, I dreamed last night, but not- well, you were in my dream actually. But it wasn't about you. It wasn't a vision." I hope it wasn't a vision. She swallowed.
Finten ducked his head and nodded quickly.
She picked up a dripping mug and quickly wiped the moisture from the outside. "Do you want me to dream of you, Finten?"
Finten froze for a moment. He swallowed. "I...I don't know. Sometimes I just act and I don't think. The winds whispered to me, and I obeyed." He turned to look at her. "I misjudged you, Maigred, when I first came to see you. I know I still don't know you well, but I like you. A lot. I'm also afraid of you."
Maigred laughed. "You're afraid of me?"
"Yes."
He looked so serious that she bit her laughter back. "Why?"
His frown deepened. He went back to washing. "Keeping my balance is a tricky thing to do. My tie to the land is extremely weak. I have to be very careful. It's tiring and it's...truthfully, it's lonely. I can't really share my struggles with my brothers because they're depending on me. I have to let them feel that things are okay, and will always be okay. Uncertainty can throw them off balance.
"But you, you're like a kindred soul, Maigred. You get angry over the same things I get angry over. You seem to care about the people as deeply as I do. I could share my frustrations with you and not have to worry about you being thrown off balance. I think you could lend me stability, but..." His hands stilled in the sudsy water. "But I'm afraid to rely on someone again. If something happened to you, or if the fiery side of you pushed me over into my fire nature, everyone would be lost." He shook his head. "I can't risk that.
"I can't decide if you're an answer from the gods, or an untimely temptation." He started washing again, a look of frustration on his face.
Maigred realized she had wiped the same plate three times. She put it on the shelf and came back to stand beside Finten. "Honestly, I acted without thinking as well, Finten. I just obeyed the visions I received."
He turned his head to look at her.
"I misjudged you too. For years. But I...I also don't know if there's a future for us. I haven't received another vision to pursue you, so maybe the earth sister already accomplished what she wanted to accomplish, I don't know. She did send the vision twice, but..." She looked over at him. He had an odd expression on his face. "What are you thinking?"
"I...how do you know it was a vision?"
Maigred laughed. "Doesn't the fire brother send you visions?"
"No. The wind talks to us sometimes, but no visions."
Maigred let out a breath. "Well, you're just going to have to trust me. It was a vision."
Finten nodded, but he didn't seem convinced.
Maigred went on. "Caevah would probably have my head for second guessing the earth sister's instructions, but..." she let out another breath and shook her head. She really shouldn't be talking about this with Finten. Something about his earnestness and honesty made her feel like she could talk to him about anything.
"The earth sister is supposed to be the source of wisdom and foresight." Finten remarked. "But Caevah followed her faithfully and look what happened. She's dead and we've been under Hadeaon's thumb for thirteen years."
Maigred bit her lip. "Cathal says that the gods try to guide us, but we make our own destiny. I suppose that things can't always work out perfectly every time, not all things are in balance. There are tarasque who choose or who are pushed into becoming wyrms. There are cursed lands. There are hearth maidens who cut ties with the earth and embrace death, becoming witches.
"Somehow though, the gods keep us alive. Summer always gives way to harvest and Winter always becomes spring again."