The idea of Harry being drunk and alone haunted my dreams the next few nights. I woke up thinking I heard a phone ringing but I knew it was impossible, considering I didn't have one. I would be tempted to try and search his name but stopped myself, knowing that if I did it would upset me. My mom finally calmed down on making me constantly call her when she knew I wasn't going to do anything stupid. Now, Laurie and her boyfriend mostly stayed at his apartment in Brooklyn which was nice considering I didn't have anyone watching me like a hawk anymore.
I continued my normal routine of work, cry, run for the next couple weeks. Today was the same thing. I wiped my eyes, pulled my hair in a ponytail, changed into my running clothes, and laced up my old sneakers. I pulled back the front door, waved to Marsh and slipped in my headphones. It was hot today and the sun was beating down on me. I starting sweating instantly but it felt good. I weaved in and out of people walking and taking pictures of the tall buildings. My iPod was on shuffle and as the keys of a piano started, I recognized the song as James Blunt's Goodbye My Lover. I hadn't heard this song in so long. The lyrics struck me hard. I slowed my pace and leaned against a stoplight post.
My eyes got cloudy and it was hard to breath. The thick air of New York City didn't help either. I felt dizzy as the song kept playing. I took big breathes to calm my racing heart rate. I finally caught my breath and started my run again. I let the song finish and made a note to delete it. I continued my run and made it back to my apartment. I pushed back my door and was greeted by the cool air inside. I instantly peeled my wet, sweaty shirt off and threw it in my room. As I was about to shower, I heard the doorbell. It struck me as odd considering I wasn't expecting anymore.
I pulled back the door. It was Marsh. He looked me up and down and I realized I was only in a sports bra. "Um...sorry." He laughed and shook his head.
"Have a good run, Ms. Emerson? I was given strict instructions to deliver this right to you."
I looked down at his hands and he was carrying a rather large shopping bag. "Marsh, what is this?"
Over the past few weeks, I never asked Marsh anything about Harry and Marsh never told me anything. I had grown fond of our business relationship and did consider him a friend even with who his boss was. He shook his head again and turned back towards the black SUV.
"Thanks, Marsh." He waved his hand and got into the truck.
I closed the door behind me again and walked inside. I threw the bag into my room and honestly didn't want anything to do with it right now. I knew it was from Harry. My endorphins were high as I walked into the bathroom. I caught myself humming and looked in the mirror. I chuckled realizing I was actually humming. After my shower, I decided to FaceTime with Charlie. I had no idea if she was even home or what she was doing but I wanted to check in with her. I grabbed my MacBook and sat down at the kitchen table. After a few seconds, my Boston friend's face came into view.
"Rowan!!!!"
"Hey girl!" I said, laughing at her reaction. "I'm so happy you answered. I've missed you."
"Seriously, I am so glad you called. Jeez, you look amazing. Have you lost weight and you're, like, super tan."
I looked at my corner of the screen and did notice I did have some color on my cheeks. I also noticed that my body was more toned as I looked down at myself.
"Um, yea I guess. I've been running a lot. It helps with...everything."
"I can totally tell. You look great, considering all things. How is all that going?"
I took a deep breath and shrugged my shoulders. "Honestly, today is the first time I've felt kind of ok. I mean, I still cry every day but it's getting better."
"Yea? Have you two talked at all?"
I shook my head.
"Damn, that's crazy."
"It's better this way. Harry's life isn't for me. I can't handle all that. The cameras, the uncertainty of things...I think the pictures were my last push. I mean, I tried to fight for him that night he left but him walking away was what is best for me."
"Hmm....I guess. My opinion is that you two love each other way too much for this stuff to stop you from being together. Yea, I can't imagine what it must be like to be dating someone that famous but honestly, you two are kind of soul mates. It's like you two balance the other out. I mean, you seem pretty set on being away from him but just think about it Row. Your guys' love is like...once in a lifetime. I wouldn't let that go."
I shrugged again and changed the subject to her. We talked about her summer and my job. I promised I would come visit soon.
"Thanks for answering, Char."
"Course and get a damn phone soon. I miss talking to you. And please, think about what I said about Harry. OK?"
"Ok."
We waved goodbye and I closed the computer. I walked into my bedroom and the shopping bag from Harry caught my eye. I put my MacBook down and walked over it. It was a huge white shopping bag with no labels. It wasn't heavy but it wasn't light. I pulled it open and the bright clothing inside drew me in. I dumped out running shirts and shorts, pants, sports bras, and running jackets. Inside were also two boxes; one big, one small. I grabbed the small one and read the label. It was the Nike+ SportWatch GPS runners' watch. There was also a sensor kit that fit with the watch to track my distance, speed, and pace. I set them both aside and pulled the biggest box open. My jaw dropped. Inside, were the most beautiful running shoes I had ever seen. They were bright aqua blue and I recognized them as the brand new Nike Free sneakers. I knew they had to be customized because of the color. I brought them out of the box and turned them over. I looked back at all the brand new running things as I put the shoes back in the box.
I saw a note sticking out of the bottom of the bag and pulled it out. My heart fluttered and I bit my lip when I saw the familiar handwriting.
Please enjoy my gifts, Rowan. Harry .x
I read the note over and over. I shook my head and threw the note back in the bag with all the other new things. It was a nice gesture but why now? I didn't think I could accept these things after everything that happened. I convinced myself to sleep on it and figure it out tomorrow.