" The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness."
- Honore de Balzac
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Levin POV
The dream went a little like this...
Most would call this a dream. But to me it was a memory, because it played it out so well. I think I was about seven when it happened...
It was a cold winter day, outside it was snowing and the cement on the sidewalks were frozen with ice you could easily slip on. Icicles hung from the roof edges and snow crystals silently and smoothly fell to the grass and ground.
I sat in my living room, on the couch looking out the window, a book in my hands and smiling. I loved to read by the fireplace while it was cold out. I turned back to the fire and stuck my head into the book again, it was a pretty large book for a ten year old to be reading.
I forget what it was called... and who wrote it... but I remember the plot, at least.
It was about a girl and her sister, going through life with no one loving them or even wanting them as their friends. And one day they meet a boy, a good natured boy that decides to talk to them, and once gets talking to them, can't keep away from them because he finds them so interesting.
Through out the book, the boy helps the both of them with dealing with their pasts, and soon the two sisters both fall in love with this one boy. They of course fight over it, growing a rivalry.
But one evening, he tells them that he has a disease that can't be cured, a heart disease, that if his heart beats too fast, it could cause him to have a heart attack. After telling them this, the girls slowly decide not to tell them their feelings.
But when the boy gets in a car wreck a year later, and is on his death bed, he asks for the two sisters to come in. As they talk, the boy claims that he already knew they loved him, and for the last thing he wanted to hear, was them say it out loud.
"I love you." I remember saying out loud, reading what the book said. After the confession, the boy smiled weakly and the heart meter went up, and soon...
The book ended sadly, yet on a very happy and uplifting note. To me, that was the perfect book...
"Is it really the perfect book?" I hear a voice break into the dream. I'm suddenly in the white room again, looking at myself, my ghoul self once more.
Human was silent as always nowadays, sitting on the ground a few steps away not paying attention with a bitter look on his face.
I frown at Ghoul. "Yes. It had a great ending. It was emotional and had nice characters-"
"But was it a happy end?" Ghoul asked, smirking a bit.
I flinched. The entire room seemed to shake with me as I did so. Happy end? I grab onto my head, it started to throb and pain arched through my whole body.
"O-Of course it was a happy end-" I started to make an excuse as Ghoul interrupted again.
"Is that your definition of a happy ending? The hero dying after the girls that love him confess over him? That's pretty sad." Ghoul said with a bitter tone.
I squint at him. "But it was sad for a reason-!"
"For what reason? Because he was weak? Because after all he did for those girls, they couldn't do anything for him in the end?" Ghoul said, with a blank face.
"Because he was a good person! That's why he cared for others!" I yelled, then was surprised when Human pitched in.
Human grunted. "Is that being a good person? He never cared for himself, that's why he got punished by God." He said bitterly, swirling his hand in the air up at his "God".
"Listen, because no one else is gonna spell it out for you, Lev." Ghoul said, a blank face still on as he stepped forward, and as if on water, the ground rippled with each step he took.
He grabbed my head and pushed it against mine, staring into my eyes. "Your weak. Just like him."
"Huh?" I mumbled out with wide eyes. "B-But I became a Kakuja! I'm SS rated now-!"
"Does ranking really matter?" Human mumbled, I glared over at him.
"Shut up both of you!" I yelled.
Ghoul smirked again. "We're you. We're just telling you your inner thoughts, so get used to it. And so what if being a Kakuja makes us stronger? We always can't control it... and never will be able to." He said, turning away from me.
"One day Nest will fall, just like back then..." Ghoul said as he looked over at another memory surfacing as I was sucked into it.
- - -
I believe I was ten years old in this memory. It was summer, one of the days dad came back with a smile. He had blue hair like myself, and golden eyes that shined so bright.
"Hey! I got some new toys!" He called, as he walked up the driveway with a bag in his hand. I ran with glee as I ran up to him and gave him a wide hug, my arms barely wrapping around his waste.
My mom also came out and gave him a kiss and hug. "Welcome home, darling." My mom said, her smile beautiful.
My father smiled as he kneeled down next to me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "How old are you now? Ten?" He said, although he obviously already knew.
I nodded quickly and excitedly, eyeing up the toy bag he had with him. He saw this and laughed. "Okay okay, here you go!" He said, handing me the huge bag.
I jump up and down and open the bag, finding a bunch of different toys. My father was never around, so he never knew what I actually liked, but whatever he brought, I learned to love, because they were from him.
"How long are you gonna be here this time, dad?" I asked while poking around in the bag with a smile.
My dad's smile withered a bit, but then came back up again. "Come on, let's go have some dinner before you start to play with your toys." He said.
I nodded, a little bummed out about not being able to play with the toys. I took my dad's hand and walked with him into the kitchen.
As we sat down for dinner, I smiled as I took a giant fork full of spaghetti and stuffed it into my mouth. My mother ate the same, but my father didn't eat in front of me, thinking that I would see him differently.
"How are your studies going, Levin?" My father asked, looking over at my homeschooling books that mom made me read.
I smiled. "I like biology!" I called out.
My mother giggled a bit, putting her hand to her mouth. "He's been studying up all night reading on genes... and he's only ten!" She said, clearly proud of me.
I would do anything for approval from my father, and every time I did something he was proud of...
"Good job, Levin. I'm proud of you." He said while rubbing my head, I closed my eyes and grinned at my achievement.
Suddenly, I heard a squeak of tires on cement. My father flinched, sniffing the air furiously, then his eyes went wide. My mother already knew what was coming, then got up, smashing into the table and grabbing my arm, dragging me to the back.
My father looked grim. "Take Levin and go." He said, hugging my mother tightly and standing in front of the main entrance.
As a ten year old, I had no idea what was going on. I was confused to a degree where I started to freak out, crying as I asked my mom what was going on.
As we headed out the back, I heard the door smash open, and guns firing. I also heard many screams, death curling screams that made me shrink in place as my mother pulled my up and ran into the forest.
I looked back at the house as it was set ablaze, and shadows danced around the trees, following us. Soon, a gun shot rang out, and my mother dropped, groaning in pain.
I fell on my face, and I got up quickly to find a sword pointed at my face. I flinched and looked up slowly. A man with white hair and glasses stared down at me with a blank face.
The men with guns all aimed at my mother, she dragged herself to me and pulled me close, by then we were surrounded. I cried as I asked where dad was? Where was my loving father?
My mother whispered something that struck me square in the heart, and I remember to this day.
"I love you... look for V." She whispered into my ear, pressing a metal object into my pocket. Just as a gun shot rang out, and blood sprayed all over my face.
I stared up into the sky, not moving or even breathing. A man grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet. They forcefully opened my eyes, and nodded.
"He's clean." Said the one that checked me.
It was then, that I cracked.
I screamed so loud, all the men covered their ears from it being so loud. And from my back, came out, so quickly that I didn't even see the shape, a blue glowing limb.
It slashed the man in half, the one that was talking. All that was going through my head then was, "where is the one that hurt mom? Where is he?!?!"
But before I could do anything else, a needle was suddenly stabbed into my shoulder. I slowly looked over at the man who stabbed me with it, his white hair slowly blowing in the night air.
My vision blurred and I fell to the ground. I heard mufflers, the men all freaking out. "His eyes! What the hell?" Said one.
"What is he?"
"Get the docs, get this Monster to the labs!"
"Roger!"
I passed out looking up at a man with a blank face, his white hair so pitiful looking for some reason. It was as if he was a sad being, with a sad past and tortured self.
- - -
"Aaaaaaaaa!" I screamed, going back into the room. I clung onto my head as I swung my head around, falling to knees as I remembered it all over again.
Ghoul had a grim look. "See? You were weak. You weren't able to do anything to save them." He explained.
Human smiled. "Can you even remember what the object she gave was?" He said, a small smile forming.
I shake my head, trying to remember. "A... pendant...?" I said, remembering the shape of it.
Ghoul smiled. "Yeah... and do you remember what picture it had in it?" He asked, turning his back to me, looking upwards.
I shook my head.
"Pity... we'd like to know... wouldn't you?" He said.
I nodded.
Human grinned. "But how are you gonna get it back? The doves have it." He said.
"I won't show mercy to any who get in my way." I said coldly, making Ghoul smile.
"Good. Because if we want to find these 'V' people, then we need to find that damned pendant, got me?" He explained, glancing over at me.
I nodded silently. My face was a bit blank, then I sighed. "But I'm asking for help." I said.
Ghoul grinned, abit amused. "What makes you think anyone will you help you?" He asked.
"I have friends. And I don't plan to find out right away. I have plenty to do before I go raiding the CCG." I said.
Human smiles. "Good... then until next time..." he said as I was slowly pulled back into reality.
The first thing I see is a purple haired girl, slowly getting her face closer to mine as I opened my eyes. Her eyes were closed, and she had her lips puckered up, aiming for a quite obvious spot.
"Um, Rize? I'm awake." I said with a blank face, making her flinch and open her eyes.
I was laying on my bed, and she was on top of me, her face turning red slowly. Without a word, she got up and off of me, opening the door and closing it softly, leaving a trail of fumes behind.
I touch my chest and remember a sensation I just felt when she was on top of me.
"So those were D cup, huh?"
(Its been a week, but this is a long chapter, so deal with it >:) Nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed and have a wonderful day!) - MnMs171