⸺ OVER THE PAST WEEK, Bella and I had really nothing to do anymore. Jacob was out hunting Victoria. Charlie was hunting Jacob. It was mostly boring now.
I had been hanging out with Seth more though. He was oblivious to all the troubles we were going through, which honestly made hanging out with him like a little escape from reality. Even though I occasionally talked about how I was worried about Bella and how I missed Rosalie, he distracted me with his funny stories and his own things he had going on
But today, I was waiting on Bella to wake up. I wanted to talk to her. She's been going back to that place again, when she gets all distant and has nightmares every night.
I hear her groan, and look up to see her rubbing her eyes. "Bella," I sigh. "Finally you're awake. I wanted to talk to you."
"What is it?" She sits up.
"Well, I mean... you're going back to that place again. Where you can barely sleep and you're depressed. I'm worried about you, Bells." I say honestly. "Whats going on?"
"I just..." She runs her hand through her hair. "It's hard with Jacob being gone all the time. I just wish things were different."
"I'm here." I say immediately. "I'll always be here, I'm not leaving."
Bella looks up with tears in her eyes. "Andie, you won't always be. Who's gonna be here when you aren't here?"
I blink, shocked. She's never brought up my CF so frankly. "I... I don't know."
"I mean," Bella sniffles. "First it was mom, and then it was Edward, and now Jacob..." She lets a tear fall. "I just don't know what I'll do without you."
"Oh, Bella." I sigh. I hug her, and she hugs back, and it almost feels normal. "Bella, is this what you're thinking about?"
She nods. "It just seems like everyone is set to leave."
"You don't have to think about that right now." I pull away, and hand her a tissue from beside her bed. "Right now, I haven't been to the hospital in almost a month, okay? I'm doing a lot better. I'm gonna stick around for a while."
She looks down, "Edward didn't."
I sit beside her. "Well, neither did Rosalie... Does it still hurt to say their names?"
"Yeah it does for me too."
"I just feel like... like I never even processed it. They just left a gaping hole, and I don't know if it'll ever go away."
Bella sighed. "Thats exactly how I feel. I'm like, broken now. No one wants the broken girl who will never get over her... ex." She rubs her eyes. "God, it still doesn't feel real."
"I know it doesn't." I say, "And maybe someday it will get a little better, bit by bit. But we have to stick together okay? You have to tell me what you're feeling, and not act crazy or shut yourself off or leave me okay?"
She nods. "You can't either you know. You have to be real instead of pretending like its okay, because I can tell when it's not."
"I know." I half smile. "I wish there were therapists for people who's ex's are vampires."
Bella lets out a small laugh, and hugs me.
"I think they still love us. Just like we still love them." Bella whispers.
"I hope so."
.
Seth and I shared a few beers between us looking out at the cloudy sky on La Push Beach.
"Okay but then all the guys just start dropping like flies, all going into this like... cult of guys and I've talked to my mom but she doesn't do anything about it... I haven't talked to Jacob in like a month and it's only Quil and I left."
I take a sip from my drink. "I don't know." I lied. "It's pretty weird.
He nods, "I just can't understand it. It's so secretive, like they cut off all the contact to your friends."
I sat silent for a moment. "People used to say that about the Cullens. Sometimes the truth isn't stranger than fiction, like you're thinking."
"I hope one day I'll figure it out." He takes a sip from his bottle, "Before I become one of them."
I sigh, I wanted to convince myself that wasn't going to happen. But it would.
"Just don't become too obsessed," I smiled. "You can lose yourself in people like that."
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"It's like me and Rosalie," I say, "I became so infatuated with her, and then she pulled the rug out from under my feet."
"Well I mean, but the guys have already kinda done that--"
"Wait." I interrupted, looking up. "Who is that? On that ledge there above the water?"
"Um, I- I don't know." He stands, and I stand beside him.
"That's my truck." I'm looking up. The figure has long brown hair that's waving in the wind, and a tall, slim figure. "That's my truck behind her. It's Bella. Oh my God it's Bella."
"You've gotta be fucking kidding me." he says in disbelief.
I run to the edge of the beach, ditching my oxygen tank, and go closer to the rock landoff and cliff but probably not close enough for her to hear me. "Bella!" I scream, my lungs burning for more air. I yell through the pain. "Bella! Bella what are you doing!?"
I see her move closer to the edge. "Bella! Bella don't jump! Please!!!"
She jumps off into the deep, dark waves, and my lungs heave for air. I fall over as June rushes to my side, carrying the oxygen tank. "Breathe, Andie, Breathe please!"
But I can't get in a deep breath. I'm hyperventilating, from the lack of oxygen and from a panic attack. I don't think I can get another breath in.
"Andie!" I hear Jacob yell before I completely black out.
* * *
well look at me with the consistent updates.
WE'RE GETTING TO IT GUYS!!
just a few more chapters to go... btw,do you guys want me to keep the split pov after new moon? or just have it be a thing for this act?
byyeeee
lola