"So, I think if we increase Spike's calcium intake the spines will be stronger, right? First, we line the ships with Death Song amber and then scales, then we put the spines on the front and back, then bam! Battering ram ship!" I explained.
"Very cool," Hiccup nodded. "And idea two?"
"Okay, so I'd need to work on it with Heather and Fishlegs; but I think with the right combination of Spike's saliva, we can create a medicine that will immune our dragons from dragon root. And if it's successful, this can evolve into all types of 'elixirs' if you will. We could build up immunities to Speed Stinger venom, types of poisons, even-"
Hiccup picked me up and swung me around and kissed me.
"You didn't let me finish," I said and pulled away.
"Go on," he laughed.
"We would need to test it, but we could probably use it on people"
"You're an evil scientist." Hiccup told me.
"Yeah, pretty much." I smirked and we kissed again.
Unfortunately, we were interrupted as yells rang across the edge.
"Oh, Astrid, stop! You're so bossy! Rude."
"What's mine is mine."
"Snotlout took her axe again?" Hiccup questioned.
"Most likely. I should probably go help him." I sighed.
"Or you could not?" Hiccup suggested and kissed me again.
"You do make a good offer." I hummed and we continued making out over the yelling.
"Everything your-"
"Do not touch. Ever."
"I mean, how was I supposed to know? Do you know how many axes there are on this island?"
"That have my initials on it? One. Bad enough that you took it without asking, but you used it to clean in between your dragon's dirty claws. Do you know what kind of disgusting crud is in there?"
"Do I? That is some serious nasty goof."
"Get over here!"
"It's fine right?" I asked and pulled away.
"Well, nobody's started-"
*High pitch Snotlout yell*
"Screaming." He sighed and we went to get our dragons.
* * *
"Sounds like she's got him in the Hofferson Head Press." Tuff said, ear against the door.
"How long 'til he blacks out?" Ruff asked.
"Less than 30 seconds." I replied, having unfortunately been in the same position that Snotlout was now in.
"Stop struggling." Astrid hissed.
"Hey, T, how you been?" Tuff asked and Toothless ignored him.
"Okay, not the ear hair. Anything but the ear hair!" Snotlout yelled and I wasn't sure whether to gag or cringe.
"Oops."
I then gagged and cringed at the same time.
"Snotlout took her axe again?" Hiccup asked the others.
"Mm-hmm." Tuff nodded. "And milady is none too pleased with Sir Snots-alot."
"Do you think they'll be long?" Heather asked. "I wanted to say goodbye to Astrid before I head home to Berserker Island."
"Did you really just say that to me?" Astrid said lowly from the other side of the wall.
"Yes?" Snotlout squeaked. "Please don't hit me."
"Here we go."
"Urgh!" Astrid huffed and stormed out the door.
"I'll just go and talk to Astrid myself." Heather said and stopped as soon as we saw weapons flying out of Astrid's hut.
"No, I'll go talk to her; that is if you value your life." I told her.
* * *
"He really said that?" I gasped and grabbed a sword from the weapons rack in the arena.
Astrid just growled and ran at me, not giving me a chance to even get a feel of the sword. I gulped and blocked then rolled away to distance myself. This was my usual method of calming her down, fighting the rage out. Has it gotten me some injuries? Yes. But it also had a %60 success rate.
We went at it for a while, but it was starting to rain hard and the cement floor was getting increasingly slippery. Of course, Astrid was immune to it but I was only human and a very clumsy one at that.
"You think that, uh, that maybe we could, stop?" I asked and tried to shake my wet hair out of my face.
"Not yet," she said and ran at me again. At that moment lightning struck and help up my sword to defend myself. After the clash of metal and I could see again I was missing half my sword. I looked at the mangled metal and then at Astrid coming at me again. Like anyone of a somewhat sane mind, I yelped and tried to run away. Only to slip and face-plant.
* * *
We sat uncomfortably around the table, well everyone except for Snotlout. I'm assuming he fled but missing dinner, he missed dinner as much as much as I did; which was never. It's food.
I sat wrapped in a blanket, soaking wet from the rain while once again Astrid was immune and completely dry.
"All right, are we all just gonna sit here and pretend nothing's wrong?" Hiccup finally asked.
"Nothing is wrong." Astrid replied, still angry.
Hiccup looked over to me who was half dead with chattering teeth then back to her.
"He should have been back by now. Okay? He never leaves for very long. You know Snotlout. He's too big a chicken."
"Ahem. Hiccup? El pollo." Tuff coughed and gestured to Chicken.
"Oh, yeah. Sorry, Chicken." Hiccup apologized.
"Muchisima gracias de yo y Chicken."
"You know there is a chance he got caught in that storm." Fishlegs said. "It's pretty brutal out there."
"Of course, he got caught in the storm. He's Snotlout." Ruff responded. "The only question is do we-"
"You know the answer to that question, and it's yes. Come on." Hiccup nodded at got up.
"Ugh!" Astrid sighed.
"Ugh!" The rest of us sighed not interested in flying through a thunderstorm.
* * *
"Man, this is impossible! It's like looking for a bonehead in a thunderstorm." Tuff said and shielded his face from the rain.
"Is that supposed to be a metaphor?" Ruff asked.
"No, it's reality." I replied, feeling very snug and warm as Spike was a Screaming Death and was realizing heat from his neck to keep me non-hypothermic.
"Hey, Toothless? Let's try again." Hiccup told Toothless who used his echolocation. "Still nothing."
"Hiccup, we're never gonna find anything out here." Astrid finally said. "I can barely see Stormfly's head in front of me."
"Astrid's right, Hiccup." Fishlegs mentioned. "Maybe we should go back to the Edge and wait it out, then when it's more-"
"Guys, wait. Do you see that?" Hiccup asked and it was then that I saw a familiar dragon who was on fire.
"Hookfang!" I yelled and he flew over to us.
"We've seen him do this before." Hiccup said.
"He wants us to follow him." Fishlegs nodded and we followed the Monstrous Nightmare through the clouds until suddenly there were no clouds, only sunrise and sea stacks.
"What's Snotlout gotten himself into this time?" Astrid asked and none of us had an answer.
* * *
We continued flying for hours, finally, Hookfang landed on a sea stack and gave us a break.
"Okay, Hookfang, I get it. You're worried about Snotlout." Hiccup told the dragon. "Why don't we just take a little break and give the rest of us a chance to-" and Hookfang flew off. "Okay, who needs to catch their breath anyway? You guys relax, I'll go."
"No way, all right? We are going with you. Meatlug just got her second wind." Fishlegs said determinedly.
"We'll go to," I nodded at my now Night Fury.
We took off and made it up to the clouds. Hookfang dove around a few times and then I started hallucinating.
"Huh?" I blinked and rubbed my eyes. "Have I lost it again?"
"What the- What the- Are are those-" Hiccup sputtered and I realized I wasn't crazy.
"Flying women?" Fishlegs finished.
"Uh. Am I crazy or is that impossible?" Hiccup asked.
"Both," I responded.
"What's impossible?" Astrid asked as the others joined us.
"Nothing. Nothing. We're just having some friendly hallucinations." Fishlegs dismissed it.
"Wait, so, you didn't see the angelic flying native women?" Tuff asked. "Man, did you miss it."
"Okay, we really have to know more about these, whatever they are." Hiccup said and we landed back on the stack so he could take out his spyglass. "Hey, Fishlegs, take a look at this."
"Amazing. Just amazing. The density of the vegetation is unparalleled for an island in this area of the-" Hiccup pushed the spyglass over an inch so Fishlegs actually saw what he was talking about.. "Oh. You were talking about the giant village of women with wings."
"Hold on. I think I found Snotlout." Hiccup said looking through it again. "They've got him and they're taking him into a cave."
"That seems about right." I shrugged.
"Yeah, he probably said something he would say, and now they're gonna-" Astrid was interrupted by the twins.
"Hey, at least our hands are clean." Ruff said, as she and her brother actually weren't a part of making Snotlout miserable at the moment.
"As a whistle." Tuff then whistled. "Just sucks we don't get to watch."
"We're not gonna let them do anything to Snotlout." Hiccup told the two. "We're gonna go in there and get him and bring him home."
"Who is this 'we' you speak of?" Ruff asked and crossed her arms.
"All of us." He replied sternly.
"It's all women down there." Astrid pointed out. "If we have to save him, and I'm not convinced we do, I think it would be easier for (Y/n), Heather, Ruffnut and I to take the lead. You know, put 'em at ease."
"What if we all went in on Windshear?" Heather suggested. "There's something familiar about those wings."
"All right, then it's settled. We'll be there if you need us." Hiccup nodded. "You might not wanna mention anything about Snotlout, until you know why they have him locked up in that cave."
* * *
"We are never doing this again." I said as the four of us girls sat on Windshear. Obviously, Heather was at the front then Astrid, then me, then Ruff. No offence to Windshear, but her neck was uncomfortable and the four of us were squished on it.
"What a beautiful Razorwhip." A green-eyed, orange-haired, flying native woman told us as she flew beneath Windshear. "And so well-behaved."
"I've had her since she was a hatchling. She must have gotten separated from her mother." Heather told the stranger.
"I am Atali." She introduced herself and flew above us with two other winged women who appeared. "We are not here to harm you, but to ask how it is you find yourselves within our island's borders."
"There was a terrible storm. We were on our way back to our own island and we must have gotten blown off course." Astrid explained.
"I'm afraid that we don't usually allow men on our island, so your friend will have to-"
"Hey, I'm more woman than you'll ever be, sister." Ruff cut Atali off.
"My apologies. Follow us. We will provide you with shelter this evening and a hot meal."
"Now we're talking." Ruff grinned. "What's on the menu?"
"We're having stew. Sacred stew."
"Mmm. Sacred."
* * *
"As I said, we do not allow males to integrate into our tribe on a permanent basis." Atali told us as we walked around the wooden village that was built in the trees.
"Why is that?"
"We have important work here, a higher purpose, if you will. Males would neither understand, nor would they be helpful." She explained.
"Amen to that, sister." Ruff laughed and I nodded.
"Ruff, you don't really feel that way about the guys." Heather asked.
"Don't I? I can't remember us ever having this discussion, Heather."
"And you?" Heather gestured to me.
"I will love Hiccup until the end of time, but he is also the guy whose idea of testing a flight suit was to just jump off a cliff and hoped it worked." I recounted.
"If you'll excuse me for a moment, I have some business to attend to. But feel free to take in the beauty our island has to offer." Atali apologized and left with some women.
"Well, that's the end of Snotlout." Astrid said once they were gone.
"Hey, at least he'll die surrounded by beautiful women and the smell of sacred stew." Ruff shrugged.
"I bet he's in the stew." I added. This was turning into some Scooby-Doo and the Samurai Sword shit.
"If he's still alive, we need to get to him before he says anything to make them any more angry." Heather told us and we all just looked at her as if that hadn't probably already happened. "Yeah, that ship's sailed, huh?"
"Hey, can you guys keep their chief busy?" Astrid asked the two.
"We can try." Heather replied.
"We'll find Snotlout. He's a muttonhead, but he's our muttonhead." Astrid sighed.
"Come on, Heather." Ruff urged her. "I thought I saw a boar pit when we were flying in. Hey, maybe they're up for a game of doubles."
"Wow, that was the most positive affection I have ever seen you show toward Snotlout." I said dramatically and put a hand over my heart.
Astrid rolled her eyes and led us to a cave where we unsurprisingly found Snotlout unconscious and shackled to the ceiling by his ankles. There was a key hanging from the wall and we grabbed it before approaching the dummy.
"Ugh." Astrid scoffed and tried to wake him up. "Snotlout. Snotlout, wake up. Hey, muttonhead."
"Astrid. You came for me. I knew you would. I knew it." Snotlout yelled in joy. "Wait a minute. No, I didn't. You hate me. Why would you?"
"I don't hate you, Snotlout." Astrid sighed. "You frustrate the living...you know. But you're one of us. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you."
"Astrid, you care about me. You really, really care." Snotlout sniffled, actual tears cascading down his cheeks.
"Hey, I'm here too." I rolled my eyes.
"Don't push it. Now what exactly is it that you said to them to get them so mad at you?" Astrid asked.
"All I did was fall in the ocean and these clearly unstable natives are planning on using me in their sacred stew." He explained. Astrid and I just looked at each other before looking back at Snotlout. "That's exactly what happened." And then we started walking to the exit. "All right, maybe I said a few things that were taken out of context."
"Snotlout." Astrid said and raised an eyebrow.
"Fine. I'm learning. I'm a work in progress. The archipelago wasn't built in a day." Snotlout grumbled as Astrid got him out of the shackles.
"Rome," I corrected.
"Wha-"
"You know what, never mind."
"All right. The others are gonna meet up with you at the base of the mountains on the north end of the island." Astrid told him. "Do you know which way is north?"
"Seriously, did you just ask me that?" He scoffed and pointed in the wrong direction.
"It's that way." I said and pointed in the opposite direction.
"Oh, got it." And he ran out.
"Oh, yeah, you're welcome." Astrid said sarcastically.
"Snotlout!"
"No, any time, sure. My pleasure."
* * *
"Whoa. What happened to you two?" Astrid asked as we met up with Heather and Ruff. They were, shall we say, a little bit muddy.
"Turns out that was a boar pit. And they did want to play doubles." Heather responded.
"How did you-" I was cut off by Ruff.
"Don't. I do not want to talk about it. Some people do not take the game as seriously as they should." She explained, glaring at Heather.
"All right, let's go. Where's Windshear?" Astrid asked.
"You're not leaving, are you?" Atali asked, flying out of nowhere.
"Oh, yes, I'm afraid we have to." Astrid lied.
"We have a long way to fly, and it'll be dark soon." Heather added which wasn't a lie.
"Such a shame. I so wanted to show you the newborns." Atali said, turning around and showing that the source of her wings was actually a baby Razorwhip.
Atali led us to a ledge over a pit which was full of baby Razorwhips.
"I don't understand. Where are their mothers?" Heather asked rather critically. "How could you keep them from-"
"We're not keeping them from their mothers." Atali interrupted her. "We're saving them. Heather, were you aware that nearly a thousand years ago, the Razorwhip almost became extinct?"
"No. I had no idea."
"It's true. And it was then that our Wingmaiden tribe was charged with a divine mission. A mission given to us by Freya herself, and one we fulfill with great honour to this day."
"There's something about them." Astrid muttered. "Are they-"
"Blind? Yes." Atali nodded. "All Razorwhips are born blind. They are helpless and the mothers cannot protect them against male Razorwhips."
"Been there." Ruff said.
"When?" Astrid asked.
"Uh. Just sounded like the right response." Ruff shrugged.
"I was blind and fended off a male Triple Stryke." I somewhat related.
"Adult male Razorwhips will feed on the babies unless someone is there to stop them." Atali explained.
"And that's where you come in." Heather said.
"Exactly. We have a mutual understanding with the mothers that the hatchlings will stay with us until they are able to stand and are strong enough to fly. Then they fly on our backs until they are old enough to defend themselves. It is only then that they are released back to their mothers and then into the wild."
"So, what you're telling me is that-"
"Your dragon was once a part of our family. She was raised by us until she was strong enough to go on her own."
"Windshear was so little when I found her, but she bonded with me right away." Heather said and pet her dragon.
"Well, the first contact with another living being creates a lifelong bond." Atali explained. "One that shall never be broken. You are a very lucky woman, Heather."
"I am." Heather nodded.
"My dragon was smuggled on the island as an egg and hatched into a giant death machine. Which then destroyed half the village and was hunted by everyone on said island until he was stranded on another island with me." I gave a quick summary of my experience, which apparently shocked a few Wingmaidens.
"And here we thought you were these crazy babes who flew with dragons and ate stew made out of fat annoying guys." Ruff laughed.
"That is not what we thought." Astrid said quickly.
"It's all right. What we are-"
"The man has escaped. Someone set him free." A Wingmaiden yelled to Atali.
"Sorry. We didn't know. He's meeting our friends at the base of the north mountains." Astrid explained.
"That's unfortunate." The leader frowned.
"Why? Why is that unfortunate?" Heather asked, now concerned.
"Because those are the nesting grounds of the Razorwhips. And if the females sense any sort of male presence there, they will attack. To kill. He'll have no chance."
"Well that's not good." I grimaced.
"I sent him right into that." Astrid said in realization. "I just sent Snotlout to his death."
"Well, 'we' sent Snotlout to his death if it makes you feel any better." I told her.
* * *
We flew to the other riders and dismounted Windshear. Hiccup and I made eye contact and I shook my head nervously.
"Astrid. Are we okay here?" Hiccup asked. "Or-"
"We're fine, which is more than I can say for-"
"Let me guess. Snotlout." He sighed.
"Unfortunately, your friend has found himself in a Razorwhip nesting area." Atali explained.
"I think old Snotty is a ways away from 'finding himself'." Tuff began one of his off-topic rants. "And does anybody really ever 'find themselves'? Isn't knowing who you are a journey that never ends with a beginning that never starts?"
"What's he doing there? Doesn't he know how female Razorwhips respond to male presence while they're nesting?" Fishlegs asked as if he actually expected Snotlout to know that information.
"He does now." Tuff laughed and leaned on Hookfang's horn. The Monstrous Nightmare then growled, not appreciating the humour that he probably would have, under different circumstances. "Oops, sorry. I'm sure he's fine."
"All right, the way I see it, the only shot he has is for us, and when I say 'us', I mean Fishlegs, Tuff, to ride over the forest and distract all the female Razorwhips." Hiccup told us.
"Then, we can go in and rescue Snotlout's boneheaded butt while they're still distracted." Astrid nodded.
"I'd get Spike to scare the Razorwhips but a Screaming Death vs a hundred or some Razorwhips wouldn't end well." I said.
"Not for your dragon." Atali responded as Spike was currently a Night Fury and she had no idea what he was capable of.
"Oh, no no. Spike would be fine, probably wouldn't have a scratch. I meant for the Razorwhips."
Suddenly Hookfang scooped up Tuff and started flying away at high speed. "What's going on? I don't think this was the plan!"
I jumped on Spike and we all raced after him, flying to the forest and watching the Razorwhips speed at us.
"Here they come." Hiccup called to us. "They're just trying to protect their eggs, so we don't need to fire on them."
"Evasive maneuvers. Gotcha!" Fishlegs nodded and we all swerved around the trees. Once we flew around the Razorwhips and they realized we weren't interested in us they gave us enough breathing room to fly together.
"There's acres of forest down there." Heather said. "Uh, how are we gonna find him?"
"Just listen for the high-pitched screams. That'll be him." Astrid said the method we had successfully used to locate Snotlout many other times.
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
"Like that?" Heather asked.
"Exactly like that." I grinned.
"I take it back, Odin. I don't want to be heroic. And why do you only listen to me when I say stupid stuff?" Snotlout yelled as Stormfly blasted away a Razorwhip. "Astrid. How did you find me?"
"Your scream is unmistakable. Look out!" She yelled. Snotlout ducked and Windshear knocked away another Razorwhip white her tail.
"Uh, Astrid." Snotlout whimpered as Astrid let three Razorwhips surround him before doing anything.
"Yes, Snotlout?" She replied.
"Can you, I don't know, hurry?!" Just as the Razorwhips went to attack, Stormfly grabbed Snotlout in her talons, the Razorwhips still following. "Uh, Astrid."
"I see them." The Razorwhips caught up and one grabbed Snotlout's feet.
"Let go of me! I am not a piece of meat. Argh!"
Hiccup tried to blast the Razorwhip but was blocked by another. "Whoa! Man, they really don't like us."
Stormfly pulled and got the Razorwhip off but Snotlout slid out of her talons and started falling to his death.
"Astrid. Oh, no. No! No!"
Hookfang took out two Razorwhips at the same time and dove, catching his rider in his teeth before placing him back in the saddle behind Tuff.
"Hey, bro. You know, I gotta say, this is one cool dragon. Did you know he can fly so fast it almost rips your face off?" Tuff asked.
"Yes. I knew that, Tuff." Snotlout replied.
"Oh, okay. And, Snotlout, you mind holding on to something else?" Tuff asked and shrugged Snotlout's hand off. "I just don't want the Wingmaidens to think I'm taken."
* * *
It was night and we all sat on logs, holding tea and watching the baby Razorwhips play.
"Are you going to recruit them?" Hiccup asked me.
"Nah, I'll wait till they're older." I shook my head and continued watching the adorable baby dragon wrestling.
"Something you'd like to say?" Astrid asked Snotlout who had for a while looked like he was going to say something.
"Astrid, I learned my lesson this time. I swear. No more disrespect. No more cleaning Hookie's body parts with your favourite axe." He apologized, actually sincerely this time. "I'm just, well, sometimes I can be a bit of a muttonhead."
"But, you're our muttonhead." Astrid said and punched his shoulder.
"Yeah. I guess I am." Snotlout smiled sheepishly.
"You're a muttonhead too." I told Hiccup.
"What did I do?" He asked.
"You told Snotlout to flee for his life during a raging thunderstorm." I pointed out.
"Fair enough." He nodded and I rested my head on his shoulder.
"A toast and greetings to our new friends from Dragon's Edge." Atali said and raised her cup. "You have taught us a lesson in tolerance and acceptance. You will always be welcome here on the Island of Wingmaidens. Every one of you. And to the conclusion of the nesting season. Now that it is over, there is much work to be done, but no other task brings us such joy."